“Did he rape you?”
“He tried. Things got violent, and I need to make sure that Andrew hasn’t been injured.”
Ellison takes the baby from me and places him on the bed. She undresses him down to his nappy and looks him over from head to toe, paying special attention to his eyes and reflexes. She pushes and pulls on his arms and legs and gently pokes his chubby abdomen.
“Do you think he was struck during the struggle?”
“I don’t think so, but it all happened in the dark so I can’t be certain. That’s why I wanted you to look at him.” I would feel horrible if Andrew was hurt and didn’t receive medical attention.
“He’s fine, but unfortunately he suffers from a bad case of having an asshole for a father.”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t stop there. Both of his parents are assholes. His mother is no better.” Which makes her even worse in my book because I can’t understand how a mother doesn’t love her children.
“That’s such a shame.”
The real shame is that I love being Andrew’s nanny. And I’m crazy about the girls too. “I can’t continue working here after this.”
“It probably won’t be possible to continue working for Wallace because Leith is going to kill him when he hears about this.”
“Which is exactly why Leith can’t know.”
“He has the right to know.”
“We aren’t together. There’s not a reason for anyone to tell him.”
“That man loves you and would do anything in the world to protect you. He’ll make that bastard sorry for putting his hands on you.”
I don’t want Leith to lash out against Wallace and face punishment, especially after he warned me and I didn’t listen.
“I’d prefer to tell Thane and let him deal with the situation quietly. I don’t want anyone speculating about why Wallace was in my bedroom.”
“You didn’t ask for this and no one will think otherwise.”
Ellison has only been part of The Fellowship for a short time. She still has a lot to learn. “You don’t know the brothers the way that I do.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. No one can hold this against you.”
They can and they will. “Trust me. The best thing for me to do is leave this job quietly.”
“And let him win? No way. That’s not right.”
“He’ll pay penance. Trust me. He won’t be winning.”
“What will you do for work now?”
“Don’t worry. Not the gentlemen’s club.” Being dragged off of the stage by Leith once was enough for me.
“I already knew that.”
I shrug and shake my head. “I don’t know yet, but I’ll come up with something. I always land on my feet.”
I smile, hoping to assure Ellison that I’m going to be okay. But the truth is that I’m not okay at all. I have no idea where I’ll go or what I’ll do for work. Or where I’ll live.
Leith would take me in if I asked him, but that’s not the way I want things to be between us. I need to know that any progression in our relationship is authentic. I don’t want him acting upon some silly notion that he feels obligated to look after me.
He’s spent the better part of his life acting like my big brother. And while that’s nice, it’s not what I want from him.
I want more.
So much more.
Chapter 3
Leith Duncan
It’s been a week since the twins’ birthday party. Seven days and nights since I’ve seen Lorna. It shouldn’t feel like an eternity considering the much longer stretches of time that I’ve gone without seeing her, but I swear that last Friday night feels like forever ago.
My brain hasn’t stopped thinking about all that we could be. Not even for a second.
I had hoped that she’d contact me this week. To say that I’m disappointed because she hasn’t is a gross understatement. I considered reaching out to her but decided against it. Pushing Lorna when she doesn’t want to be pushed is always a bad idea. I finally feel like we’re in a good place, and I don’t want to fuck it up. But I also don’t want to let her slip through my fingers again because I’m too scared to make a move.
“Hey, Leith. How are you?”
I stop in the doorway as I enter my leader’s house, hugging Bleu and kissing the side of her face. “I’m good.”
Her left brow lifts. “Only good? Come on, you can do better than that.”
I can’t stop a smile from spreading across my face. “All right, you’ve got me. I’m actually great.” And in a much better place than I’ve been in a long time.
“I thought you might be feeling pretty awesome after spending some time with Lorna.”
“It was amazing.” And out of the blue. I wasn’t expecting that to happen. “Nothing about it felt forced or strained. Being with her felt like old times.”
Of course, I thought about what it would be like to take her back to my flat. I’m a man. That’s going to happen, but spending time with her without having sex was deeply satisfying as well.
“She was happy afterward. Very happy.”
“Did she say that?” Please say yes.
“She did but words weren’t necessary. Her smile told me everything I needed to know, same as yours did just now.”
“She isn’t the only happy one.” But I would feel better if we’d had some kind of contact this week. I won’t bring it up to Bleu, but I’m troubled about that.
“I’m thrilled for you and Lorna.”
“I have you to thank. After so many failed attempts to talk to her, I don’t think that I would’ve had the nerve to try again if you hadn’t encouraged—or ordered—me to.”
Bleu chuckles. “Call it whatever you like. I’m just happy that the two of you are talking again.”
I scan the house, hoping to see Lorna, but she’s nowhere in sight. Damn, I had hoped that this invite might somehow be related to her.
“Mum… mum… mum.”
Harrison toddles over to Bleu and wraps his arms around her legs. She picks him up, placing him on her hip, and tickles him beneath his chin. “I love hearing you say that, sweet boy.”
“Hearing your child call you mum or dad… I can’t imagine what that must feel like.” But I want to know.
“It’s wonderful, Leith. There’s nothing in this world like it.” Bleu grins. “You should try it sometime.”
“Hopefully one day.” With Lorna.
“Sin is waiting for you in his office.”
He wouldn’t ask me to come to his office for a friendly visit. It’s reserved for important Fellowship business. What could be going on that would involve me?
“Is everything all right?”
“That all depends upon you.”
My most important decision of the day is what Duncan’s daily lunch special is going to be, but I get the feeling that this is going to be something more significant. “Is it related to Lorna?”
“That’s for Sin to answer. Go on and take care of this business with him, and dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes.”
“Is that an invitation to stay?”
“You know that it is.”
“Invitation accepted. Thank you.”
I tire of fending for myself; I’m not the best cook in the world. I typically end up eating at the pub. The food is exceptional, but I get tired of having one of twelve things over and over.
Sin looks up from his computer when I stop in the doorway, and he motions for me to enter. “Come in.”
I enter the office and sit in the chair across from him. “Whatever this is about, it must be serious if you’re asking me to your office.”
“A bit of business, a bit of personal. Something that must be settled once and for all.”
Sounds serious. “All right. Let me have it.”
“Kieran’s brother Maddock came to see me today. He’s decided that it’s time for him to marry, but he isn’t interested in any of the women from within The Order. He h
as asked to take a Fellowship woman as his wife.”
“Is he suggesting a third treaty marriage?” I’m not a part of leadership and maybe that’s why I don’t see the point in another since we already have two in place.
“No treaty. It would be an ordinary marriage.”
“I’m honored that you’d want to discuss this with me, but shouldn’t you be deliberating this matter with the council instead?” I’m sure they could offer much more insight into the topic.
“I will, but I wanted to come to you first.” I know the words he’s going to say before they leave his mouth. “He has expressed interest in Lorna.”
Somehow, I fucking knew that was coming.
I want to punch something. Maddock Hendry. “No.”
“Leith…”
“He can’t have her.” Not when things are finally going in the right direction for us.
Maddock would be an advantageous match for Lorna. He’s in a leadership position within The Order. She would gain station by marrying him. I should be happy that she has a chance at an easier life, but I won’t give her up. Even if that makes me a selfish bastard, I can’t let him have her.
Sin’s fingers tap against his desk and he sighs. “I need you to understand the position that I’m in as leader. It is my responsibility to find a good mate for Lorna. I can’t keep turning away suitors because you don’t want anyone else to have her. That’s not fair to her; she’s been wanting a husband and family for a long time. And she deserves that.”
“I want to be her husband.”
“That’s going to be difficult to pull off when she won’t even stay in the same room with you.”
“Our relationship has been rocky. Nothing has gone our way these last few years, but things between us feel like they’re finally changing. I can convince her. I know that I can. I just need a little more time.”
“You’ve had years to make a marriage happen, but you’ve only managed to drive her further away. What has changed?”
Everything.
“It’s taken a year but she can finally have a normal conversation with me that doesn’t end in her running away. It’s a baby step, and we have a long way to go, but we’re making progress.”
“The Order is our alliance now. I can’t say no to Maddock Hendry without good reason.”
“Please, Sin. Find a way to buy a little time for me.”
“You are my best mate, and it pains me to say this, but I’m not certain that you are what is best for Lorna. So much has happened between the two of you. I’m not sure that your relationship can ever come back from the place that it has gone.”
My first instinct is to lash out at Sin. Remind him that Lorna and I were in love. I was ready to claim her and had every intention of doing so until he ruined it.
And then I remember a year ago when he tried to make things right between Lorna and me. I fucked that up—me—and I have no one to blame but myself.
“No one will ever love Lorna the way that I do. And I’m going to win her back.”
“I can’t reject Maddock’s request to see Lorna unless you’re able to give me a legitimate reason to do so.”
Legitimate reason: marriage.
Lorna Frazier Duncan. I want that more than I want my next breath, but she and I aren’t in that place yet. It’s going to take time to get there, and I can’t risk losing her because I push too hard, too fast. I have to romance her. Make her remember how good we were together.
Make her fall in love with me again.
“Come on, Sin. Don’t do this to me. You know how much I love her, but I can’t ask her to marry me right now. She isn’t ready.”
“Then make her ready.”
No one knows Lorna the way that I do. A marriage proposal after only one good interaction would come off as forced in her eyes. It would ruin everything that I’m working so hard to accomplish with her.
The troubled look on Sin’s face tells me what happens next. “You’re going to disregard my request for more time and make arrangements for her to see him?”
“I have to, Leith. You’ve given me no other choice.”
Fuck.
I can’t fucking win. “I’ve been fighting an uphill battle for her for so long and now this guy, without any kind of baggage at all, is going to step in and battle for her. How am I supposed to compete with that?”
“You have an ugly past with Lorna, but you also have a lot of great memories. You’ve known her your entire life. Don’t minimize the value of the history you have with her.”
Maddock is a stranger to her. Maybe that could play to my advantage.
“I wasn’t expecting to hear this tonight.” I suppose it’s exactly what I deserve for the way I’ve treated Lorna. I have no one to blame but myself.
“If you and Lorna belong together, it will work out despite all of the obstacles in your way. Same as with Bleu and me.”
At least no one is trying to kill Lorna.
“We belong together.”
“Then fight for her.”
“I am.” I’ll never stop fighting for Lorna. For us. For our future. For our family. “But I may need a wee bit of help with that from your wife.”
“Bleu is eager to help.”
Bleu’s a good friend. She’ll never know how grateful I am for her support of our relationship. A lot of people would have advised Lorna to turn her back on me and move on.
“I also need help from you.”
I don’t like asking for Sin’s help with Meyrick. I’d rather take care of the situation myself by beating the fucker to within an inch of his life, but The Fellowship would look down upon my taking matters into my own hands with the brotherhood’s number-one accountant.
“Lorna is working as a nanny for Wallace and Rona Meyrick. You can probably guess that I don’t like it worth a fuck. You and I both know what a dick he is to women. It’s only a matter of time before he does something to Lorna.”
“She no longer works for Wallace Meyrick.”
That’s news to me. Lorna was adamant a week ago about remaining in her position as the Meyrick nanny. That can only mean one thing. “What did he do to her?”
“Lorna asked me to not tell you, and I’ve done as she asked for a week, but you’re here now. I see no point in keeping it from you any longer because you’re going to take one look at her tonight and see that something happened.”
Fuck, I feel sick. “What did he do to her?” I repeat.
“Wallace assaulted Lorna on Friday night. He went into her room and tried to rape her.”
Tried. That means that he wasn’t successful. “Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have taken her to his house. Is she okay?”
“She’s okay. Luckily, she had gotten up during the night with the baby and had brought him to her bed. That’s probably the only thing that kept Wallace from finishing what he had intended to do to her. Well, that and the defense skills that Bleu and Debra taught her. She did a great job of fighting him off.”
Thank God Bleu insisted on teaching self-defense to the women.
“Lorna came to you for help.” Not me. And after I asked her to go to Thane instead of Sin. But the real kick in the balls is that she asked Sin to keep this from me.
That stings.
“She didn’t come to me for help. She went to Dad and asked him to handle it quietly; she doesn’t want anyone to know what happened.”
Because she doesn’t want her virtue questioned. And she knows that there will be speculation once it’s known that Wallace was in her bedroom.
“I want to kill him for putting his hands on her.” If she were my wife, I would be granted the right to do with him as I wish.
“I hate what he did to her, but you can’t touch him.”
Actually, I can. “It would be worth facing penance.”
“Lorna doesn’t want that for you. That’s why she went to Dad and asked him to handle it quietly.”
“It’s already been handled?”
“Wallace faced pen
ance four days ago.”
“Who was the punisher?”
“Sangster. He’s the only one I’d trust to give a beating that he’ll never forget. He’ll be recovering for a while.”
“Good.” Sangster is merciless. That crazy fucker gets off on inflicting pain.
“You said that I would see Lorna tonight?”
“Aye, she’s staying with us for a while.”
Because she no longer has a home. She gave up her flat for that live-in nanny job. “I need to see her.” Now. Sin can tell me that she’s all right, but it’s something I have to see for myself.
“No worries. You will.” Sin gets up from his desk. “I’m starving. Let’s go check on dinner.”
“One more thing before we go: have you told her about Maddock?”
Sin nods. “I had to, Leith.”
Fuck, I wish Sin had spoken to me first. I feel as though I’ve just fallen behind.
“What did she say?”
“She asked when she’d have to go.”
“She didn’t refuse.” Fuck.
“Only because Lorna is an obedient Fellowship woman who doesn’t question authority. She respects it.”
No truer words have ever been spoken.
“Did she seem unhappy about it?”
“Very.”
“Well, there’s that, I guess.”
“You haven’t lost her. You know what you have to do.”
I know exactly what I must do. I just don’t know if I have enough time to do it.
My strategy for winning Lorna’s heart just took a detour.
Chapter 4
Lorna Frazier
“Shite, shite, shite.”
I drop the hot dish on the countertop with a thud and dash for the kitchen sink, running cool water over the searing pain on my skin.
Bleu rushes over to me. “Are you all right?”
“That burned like mother but I’m okay.”
“You need to calm down. Take a cleansing breath. In and out,” Bleu says.
I do as she instructs, but it doesn’t help to calm my nerves. “I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have cooked this.”
“Yes, you should have. This meal smells delicious.”
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