This Isn't Goodbye

by K. R. Reese

  I smile and lean back in my seat. I know Mason would never do anything that he thought I wouldn’t agree with. He would never take me somewhere for a surprise if he didn’t think it was something I would be happy with.

  With those thoughts in my mind, I close my eyes and drift to sleep for a bit.

  “Cheyenne, it’s time to wake up. We’re almost there.” Mason’s voice cuts through the fog in my head. I’m groggy and tired and have no idea how long I’ve been asleep.

  “What? Where are we?” The picturesque town outside my window is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Our little town is perfect as it is, but this is something else entirely.

  “This is Brookdell, right at the edge of the Rocky Mountains. It’s a bit of a trip from home, almost four hours, but it’s worth it in my opinion.”

  Mason has a smile on his face, his excitement contagious in the small confines of my car.

  “What are we doing here, Mace? What are Cole and Dylan doing all the way up here?”

  He shakes his head and laughs when I glare at him. “You’ll find out soon enough. Patience, Chey. You should try it some time.”

  I huff and cross my arms over my chest. I know they mean well, but it’s annoying when everyone knows what’s going on but me. When Mason pulls off the side of the road, I’m more confused than ever.

  “Blindfold time. Turn around, Chey.”

  “You are not blindfolding me after we just spent hours in a car. I want to know what’s going on, damn it.”

  “And you will. In about five minutes. But I can’t go any further until you put the blindfold on and leave it there. I promised.”

  I turn my back toward him so he can tie the blindfold around my head. “I’m beginning to question your alliance to me, Mason. It seems Cole and Dylan have more influence over your choices than I do anymore.”

  Mason clasps my shoulder and laughs. “Don’t worry, Chey, it’ll always be you and me. They just bribe well.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” I mumble under my breath. I feel the car begin to move again and try to ignore the rioting going on in my stomach.

  I’ve pulled off plenty of surprises for Cole over the years. I’ve pulled off a few for Dylan, and even more with them together. But this is different somehow. They went out of their way to do something for me, together, and I don’t know what to expect.

  When the car comes to a halt, I hear Mason’s door open. “Stay here, Chey. Someone will get you in a second.”

  I grumble again, but he ignores me. A moment later, my door is opened and Dylan’s scent washes over me.

  “Hey, Baby, how was the trip?”

  I do my best to scowl at him, but I’m not sure what I truly do since I’m still blind to my surroundings. “I slept most of the way here. Wherever here is. Can I please get out of this car? I need to stand.”

  Dylan reaches across my lap to undo my seatbelt and then takes my hand to help me from the car. Gravel crunches under our feet as we walk closer to where I can hear Cole and Mason talking.

  Once we’re close enough, I can hear Cole step up to my other side and clap my back. “Hope you don’t mind that I conned Mason into helping us pull this off.”

  “You know I mind. He’s my brother, not yours.” I stick my tongue out in the direction of his voice and they all laugh at my expense. I interrupt, irritated that I’m still blindfolded and helpless. “That’s enough. Get this thing off me before I do it myself.”

  “Impatient. Damn, the trek made you grumpy.” Cole mumbles where only I can hear. I elbow him and he grunts. “Alright, alright. We’re going.”

  I feel Dylan beside me again, close to my ear. “When the blindfold comes off, open your eyes, Chey.”

  I nod and anticipate what’s in front of me. I clench my eyes tightly closed and feel the ties coming undone at the back of my head.

  “You ready, Cheyenne?” I nod again rather than answering aloud. I don’t know how my voice would sound right at this very moment, so I opt to stay quiet.

  “On the count of three,” Cole says. “One.” Breath. “Two.” Breath. “Three.”

  The blindfold falls away slowly, and my eyes are still firmly shut. Once I can no longer feel the fabric against my face, I blink them open. I’m not sure what I’m staring at. I mean, I do know it’s a cabin, but I can’t figure out why. If they wanted to take a trip, a small vacation, before they left, all they had to do was ask. They didn’t need to make it such a huge deal.

  “What do you think?” Dylan wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.

  “It’s, uh, nice. I guess. Are we staying here for a few days? I didn’t pack anything…” Sudden fear that they’ll expect me to stay without essentials hits me. If I had known we were going away for a bit, I would have packed some things. But I was left in the dark, so I didn’t have the chance.

  “You could say that. I mean, we can stay here tonight if you want, but that wasn’t the plan.”

  Dylan’s words confuse me. Cole must see the look on my face because he steps in. “This is our cabin, Chey. We can come and go anytime we want.”

  My jaw drops open, unable to process what he just said. “What? How? I don’t understand. If we aren’t here to stay, why are we here at all? You had Mason drag me hours away, just for us to turn around and go home.”

  Both have worried looks on their faces. Good. They should’ve consulted me about what we were doing today rather than leaving Mason to the details.

  “I don’t think you understand, Cheyenne. Dylan and Cole bought the cabin. You guys can use it anytime you want. This is the surprise.”

  Mason’s words don’t make sense either. How did they buy a cabin? I haven’t seen the inside, but judging by the exterior, it’s way above any of our savings or pay grades.

  “You guys.” I stop and try again. “This belongs to you two?”

  They both smile and nod in my direction. “We wanted to surprise you. It’s been tough for you, knowing that we’re leaving so soon, and you’ll be stuck at home. Well, this cabin is just as much your place as it is our place. We wanted you to have somewhere to go if you needed it, if you needed an escape.”

  I can’t believe what I’m hearing. The cabin is amazing; I can picture all three of us hanging out here and spending a lot of time together. But the thought of them leaving overrides all traces of happiness from a moment ago.

  I duck my head and stare at my feet. “You didn’t have to buy a cabin. I would have been fine at home.”

  Dylan chuckles and pulls me closer again. “This isn’t just a place for you to escape when you need it, Chey. It’s a place that we can go when we’re on leave, a place for us to relax.”

  That makes more sense. “Well, are you going to invite me in or are we going to stand in the driveway all day?”

  Cole takes a step toward the stairs then turns back around. “Before we go in, there’s something you should know. We haven’t redecorated yet. It’s something we thought, maybe, you would like to do? If we do it, it’ll be a bachelor pad rather than a relaxing home.”

  I laugh because he’s right. Cole and Dylan don’t care about frivolous things, let alone anything that could resemble comfort.

  “I’ll decorate later. I want to see the inside.”

  March quickly rolls into April, and the days keep coming. Cole, Dylan, and I have been redoing parts of the cabin in our free time. We’ve accomplished new paint and furniture throughout the entire place. The only thing left to do is stay there before they leave.

  A pit forms in my stomach at the thought. It’s going to be weird not having my best friends around. Dylan may be my boyfriend now, but he was my friend first. We’ve been inseparable since summer, and now our only form of communication will be letters.

  A knock at my door pulls me from my thoughts. When my mom peeks her head in the small gap, I smile.

  “What are you doing up here by yourself, Chey? Aren’t you excited? You’re graduating today.”

  I p
ush back in my chair to look at her while we talk. You wouldn’t know she’s old enough to have an eighteen- and seventeen-year-old, but she’s always done well at hiding her age.

  “Of course, I’m excited. I’m just thinking too much, I guess.”

  Mom sits across from me at the foot of my bed. “Still thinking about Cole and Dylan leaving?”

  I nod my head. I know I don’t really need to answer her. It’s been on my mind for a while now, and this isn’t the first time she’s brought it up. But today, it seems like she wants to say more. I wait her out, sure she’ll say whatever else she came up here to say.

  “You know, we always thought you and Cole would end up together at some point. It might not have lasted, but we still thought you guys would give it a try. This last year, you guys were so close. Then Dylan became a third wheel and now you’re dating.”

  A part of her statement makes me angry, but the other part…my cheeks are on fire. I’m sure mom can see it in the bright light of the room. I never told her what happened. She wouldn’t leave us alone again. As much as I know she’s gauging my reactions, she doesn’t call me out on them. I’m grateful; I don’t know if I could lie to her about it.

  “We’re friends, mom. Just like we’ve been our entire lives. And Dylan has never been a third wheel; he fit in perfectly with the two of us from the beginning.”

  “And now you are dating him.” She says it slowly, emphasizing each word.

  I nod and smile. “We’ve been dating for a while.”

  “I know. I just thought, maybe, the reason you’re having such a hard time with this is because you have regrets.”

  I stand and smooth down the dress I’m wearing for graduation. It’s a simple knee-length dress that is form-fitting to my body. I knew I wanted it the moment I saw it, and today is perfect for it. I turn back toward mom.

  “I don’t have any regrets. Everything is going to be great.”

  I plaster on a fake smile when I look at her. This time, she drops the subject and leaves me to finish getting ready. I can pretend all I want, but it won’t change the truth. When Dylan and Cole get on that bus Monday morning, I won’t be fine.

  We’re all huddled together in the back of the gymnasium waiting for the graduation ceremony to start. Cole and Dylan haven’t stopped talking, and I’m beginning to develop a headache.

  Dylan finally notices my silence and nudges my shoulder. “You okay, Chey?” The question gains Cole’s attention, and they both stare at me expectantly.

  “I’m good. Just a small headache. It’ll be better once this is over.”

  We all laugh in unison as the principal begins his speech. We gather in line with the rest of our graduating class and wait for our names to be called.

  It seems like hours, but was really only twenty minutes, when we’re walking out of the school for the last time.

  “Holy hell, we did it!” Cole yells once we’re in the parking lot. His mother shoots him a disapproving look that he ignores. I snicker under my breath.

  “Don’t encourage him, Chey, it’ll only make it worse.” Dylan mumbles beside me, clasping my hand with his.

  Cole has stopped to say goodbye to our parents, so we do the same. We’ll see them all for dinner on Sunday together, but it’s necessary with their tears and excitement. Mason pulls me aside while they’re busy.

  “Congratulations, Chey!” Mason wraps me in a hug, and I cling to my little brother. I fight off the tears that are threatening to escape. In a year, Mason will be gone, too, and then what?

  I push the question away for a few days, determined to live in the moment a while longer. Mason pulls back to look at me, a small smile on his face.

  “Do me a favor, Chey.” He says it so casually, I tense. “If anything happens tonight, call me. I’ll come get you.”

  I laugh and swipe the tears that fell.

  “You’ll be the first one I call.”

  “Good, I’m glad. Keep it that way.” He holds up his pinky finger, something we haven’t done since we were kids. “Always keep it that way.”

  I pinky promise with him, the tension leaving my body.

  “Look at these two over here planning our demise,” Dylan’s voice cuts through the silence.

  Cole steps up beside us, eyeing our linked fingers, then looking at me suspiciously.

  “We need to hit the road if we want to make it before dark.”

  I nod and hug Mason one more time. Cole goes to walk away with me, but Mason stops him. I wonder what that’s about, but decide I’ll find out later. We’re staying at the cabin for the long weekend. Cole and Dylan have to be at the bus stop early Monday morning, and this was the best we could come up with.

  I meet Dylan at the truck and lean into his side.

  “What are you thinking about?” Dylan mumbles against my head.

  I don’t want to lie to him, so I tell him the truth. “Monday morning.”

  He squeezes me tighter and I breathe him in. These moments are what I’ll miss the most. The small gestures, the closeness. These are even better than the memories we’ve made hanging out together, going to the track or movies, and playing football combined. They hold more meaning, more feelings.

  “We’ll get through this, Chey. We’re stronger than a few weeks apart.”

  I know he’s right. We can all get through this. But it doesn’t make the idea any easier to accept.

  Before I can say anything, Cole interrupts us. I don’t know what Mason said to him, but there’s a faraway look in his eyes. I love my brother dearly, but if he ruined this weekend in any way, I’ll murder him in his sleep.

  “You guys ready to hit the road?” he asks.

  Dylan heads to the front of the truck since he’s driving. I hesitate, my focus on Cole. He must notice my gaze because he meets my eyes.

  “We’ll talk later, Chey, there’s nothing I can say right now.” He inclines his head to where Dylan is standing to watch our interaction. I turn for the truck without any acknowledgement.

  Dylan and I have dated most of the year. There’s no more tension between the two of them, but I think that’s because Cole has kept his distance. We don’t hug, touch, or anything like we used to do. I think it’s his way to make sure he doesn’t mess up my relationship. While I appreciate it, appreciate that he hasn’t run Dylan off, I don’t like the distance between us.

  We’re piled into the truck and headed to Brookdell before any of us speaks. Dylan is the one to break the silence.

  “I’ve been thinking,” he starts. We wait expectantly for him to continue. “When I met you guys, you were nearly impossible to separate. Except the whole Kenzie confrontation, you were attached at the hip. I’ve always wondered,” Dylan’s quiet a beat too long. My breath hitches and I clench my fists. I know what he’s going to ask, and I am not prepared. “Did you two ever hook-up? Date? There were a ton of rumors, but I always ignored them. I figured if there was anything I needed to know; you would tell me anyway.”

  Dylan keeps his eyes on the road, and I try to clear the tension from my body before he notices. Cole obviously doesn’t have the same reaction I do because he doesn’t hesitate. Instead, he instantly replies like he’s expected this question to come up.

  “Chey and I have always been close. We were raised together, grew up together. You know that though. There’s nothing you have to worry about. She’s as much my sister as she is Mason’s.”

  The breath I was holding releases, but there’s an ache in my chest. Cole putting me firmly in the friend zone hurts, even though it shouldn’t. That’s not exactly what he said, but the other thoughts make me cringe. I’m not sure how he can even call me his sister with what happened; the feeling makes me sick.

  Before Dylan questions my silence, I speak up. “Last time we made the trip up here, I brought some old photo albums. I’ll show you the embarrassing moments we’ve shared, just like siblings are supposed to. Mace is in a few of them, too.”

  I’m amazed I could say that wit
hout my voice cracking, but it sounded convincing to my own ears. I can only hope Dylan buys it. Before I can examine him, Cole groans from the passenger seat and it makes Dylan laugh.

  “That bad, huh?”

  Cole quickly nods his head. “I hid them at my parents. But there were doubles of everything. Chey’s been in possession of them for years.”

  “Oh, this is going to be great. I can’t wait to see them now.”

  I interrupt. “Only on one condition.” I bite back a smile. I know he isn’t going to like it.

  “What’s your condition?” Dylan quirks a brow at me before his eyes go back to the road.

  “When we get back home on Sunday, you have to show us your embarrassing pictures.”

  This time Cole is the one that laughs, but Dylan doesn’t look amused.

  “You offered to show me without conditions attached. That isn’t fair.”

  “I think it’s fair. If we’re going to be humiliated, you should be, too.”

  “She has a point, man,” Cole chimes in.

  Dylan glares. “Whose side are you on?”

  “Well, Cole will be humiliated with me. So…” I let the sentence linger.

  “I’ll tell my mom to pull the photo albums out. But for the record, I still don’t think it’s fair.”

  I smirk and lean back to get comfortable. I’m glad the air has been cleared and Dylan is none the wiser about what happened between Cole and me. I hate keeping secrets from him, but it’s for his own good; for all of us. If he ever learned the truth, it would destroy our relationship, our friendships. Everything.

  I look between the two of them, both with smiles on their faces now. Maybe this weekend won’t be so bad after all.

  We’ve been on the road for a few hours now, and we’re almost to the cabin. Chey has been asleep, her head on my shoulder, for over an hour. Dylan put music on and hasn’t said anything, but I can tell he wants to.

  I sigh and shift in my seat, turning toward him slightly without jarring Cheyenne’s sleeping form.