The answer satisfied me a little. It meant that Robin wasn’t aware of any potential reason that Rylee might move out… like a boyfriend. Not that I was jealous! I was a forty-eight-year-old man, not some lovesick teenager. I didn’t get jealous… Except that I totally was and the incident at the grocery store the other day only further proved that fact.
“So, why did she move back from Boise in the first place?” I pried, swirling the wine glass in my hand. “I thought she wanted to get a college education.”
Robin sighed and placed her wine glass on the table before leaning over the table a little. “In all honesty, Spencer, Rylee was devastated when she had to drop out of college, especially after she put in two whole years of hard work already,” she told me with a sad smile. “But I’m afraid needs must and she couldn’t exactly raise a newborn baby and take a full schedule of classes at the same time. No, she needed to come back to Halston so I could help her with the baby.”
I almost dropped my glass out of shock. I’d had no idea Rylee was a mother. She’d never mentioned it during any of our conversations since I’d arrived and I certainly hadn’t seen a child around her at all. How on Earth had I not seen any signs that she was a parent?!
“Baby? I didn’t know Rylee was a mom,” I responded with a perplexed look on my face. I was dying to know more and I hoped that Robin was feeling in a chatty mood.
The woman opposite me nodded her head and smiled wide. “Oh, yes, Rylee is a fantastic mother. You should see her. Everything she does is for her little baby and she always goes above and beyond to make sure he’s safe and cared for. I had my doubts at first about Rylee having a baby so young, but now that I’ve seen her, I know I had nothing to worry about!”
Unaware of the bomb she had dropped on me, Robin lifted her fork and continued to eat her meal, occasionally glancing over at me. “Are you okay, Spencer?” she asked me and for a moment, I wasn’t sure I could answer. My throat felt like it had a lump in it and I was frantically doing some calculations in my head. Robin had said Rylee came back four or five years ago and Rylee had been a virgin when we first made love…
No, it wasn’t possible! Was it?
“What about the father?” I finally blurted out, ignoring Robin’s question unintentionally. I was far too focused on the new information I’d acquired.
“Oh, him,” Robin said with disgust and rolled her eyes. “Rylee said he was some guy she met at college who moved away shortly after she fell pregnant. She said he didn’t want anything to do with the baby and she rarely ever talks about him. Frankly, I don’t blame her!”
I tried my best to process everything I’d learned. It was possible that Rylee had slept with another man at college who had knocked her up, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe the child could be mine. After all, when we slept together, I hadn’t used a condom. I thought Rylee was probably on some form of birth control – most women are these days – but then again, she had been a virgin… Was it possible? Could I really have had a child that I knew nothing about?
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Everything seemed to make sense now: Rylee’s cageyness, her unwillingness to continue the relationship, her insistence that it was too complicated. It was possible that she might have felt that way even if the child wasn’t mine. She might not think I’d want to be involved with a child who wasn’t mine and yet, the more and more I dwelled on it, the more I began to convince myself that this child must be mine.
Why didn’t Rylee tell me? Why would she keep me in the dark about my own child? She had no right! Still, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. I needed to hear the truth from Rylee herself and I wasn’t going to get it anytime soon. Instead, I sat at the table with Robin and tried to put on my best poker face.
“Jayden, Rylee’s son, is the sweetest little boy you’ve ever met!” Robin gushed, continuing with our discussion. “He is really affectionate and all the doctors say that he’s advanced for his age. His speech is generally really good and he’s already made friends in his pre-school class.” She paused to smile as she recalled some memory of her grandson. “But he’s also a typical boy, if you know what I mean. He loves dinosaurs and cars and playing sports… Well, as much as he can play sports at four-years-old!”
I nodded as politely as I could while inside, I felt like I was in turmoil. I didn’t want to hear all these details about my potential son’s life from his grandmother. I wanted to learn about them first hand or at least be able to speak to Rylee about it all. I couldn’t help but stew on it all the while Robin told me about Jayden’s life in excruciating detail.
“What does he look like?” I asked, feeling unable to censor myself even though I knew it might make Robin suspicious.
She looked at me funny for a moment. “Well, if you’re that interested, you can always meet him,” she suggested with a kind smile. “But if you must know, he’s the spitting image of Rylee! He’s got blond hair and blue eyes just like the rest of us Brattons.”
That didn’t answer any of my questions. I’d been hoping Jayden might look more like his father, no matter whether that was me or not. Throughout the rest of dinner, I fought with myself in order to stop myself from asking further questions. After all, I’d promised Rylee I wouldn’t tell her mom that anything had happened between us and I didn’t want to raise Robin’s suspicions, but still, I was desperate to know whether I was the father of Rylee’s child.
I needed to get to the bottom of this—and fast.
12
Rylee
On Saturday afternoon, I was getting ready to attempt to do some laundry when Jayden ran up to me and grabbed a hold of my leg. He clung to me and started to shake me while I giggled and looked down at him.
“What’s up with you, baby?” I asked with a smile.
“I’m bored!” he cried out.
“I’m sorry, Jayden. Mommy has to get some chores done,” I explained to him. “If I don’t do the laundry then you won’t have any clothes to wear to pre-school on Monday.”
Jayden pouted. “But I wanna play with you, Mommy!”
I looked down at him for a moment and sighed before rubbing his head and messing up his blond hair. “Maybe later, okay?”
“But Mommy!” He began stomping the ground and I knew he was on the verge of having a tantrum when my mom came rushing in.
“Hey, Jayden. How about Granny takes you to the park around the corner?” she said with a wink in my direction.
The young boy’s eyes lit up instantly and he let go of my leg in favor of running toward my mom. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” he cried in excitement.
“Okay then, little man, go get your shoes on then,” she told him and Jayden rushed off down the hall toward the shoe rack.
“Thank you,” I whispered and gave my mom a grateful hug. “You’re the best.”
“No, if I was the best, I’d let you go to the park and I’d tackle the laundry!” she joked with a laugh. “Instead, I get to spend some quality time with my grandson while you’re stuck here doing chores.”
I shrugged. “I don’t mind the laundry,” I told her. “But seriously, Mom, thank you. You’re always here for me when I need you.”
“Isn’t that what moms are for?”
Before I could reply, Jayden had returned with his shoes firmly on the wrong feet. We both laughed and Mom helped him to correct them before they headed out the door and finally, I had some peace and quiet. Ideally, I’d love to spend the time away from Jayden having a nice relaxing bubble bath, but of course, I had to try to get caught up on the never-ending pile of laundry I had. Luckily, however, doing the laundry was probably my favorite chore. As I gathered Jayden’s soiled clothes with food and grass stains covering them, I relished the thought of being able to clean up the mess and give Jayden back some of his favorite clothes so he could wear them again and again.
Laundry was simple. It was a simple process of collection, washing, drying, and folding, maybe a little bit of ironing here and there, but m
y point was that laundry was a much easier task than other things I had on my to-do list. For example, telling Spencer he was Jayden’s father. I’d been so busy the last few days that I’d not had time to arrange a sleepover for Jayden to get him away while I spoke to Spencer. Hell, I hadn’t even seen Spencer himself.
No, but I’d heard about him of course. When Mom got home the night before, she told me all about her fantastic date with Spencer and how everyone there had totally believed they were a legitimate couple. She’d gushed about how well it had gone and how Mr. Jenkins would never ask her out after he’d heard about it.
I tried to pay attention and listen to her, but in all honesty, my heart broke at the very idea of my mom being seen on Spencer’s arm. I hated the thought of other people thinking Spencer was dating her when I wanted him to be with me.
The thought shocked me a little and I stopped emptying the dryer. I stared down at the clothes in my hands and took a deep breath. Enough was enough. I’d been playing around with all of this too long and I was going to find a way to end it once and for all—for better or worse.
I nodded to myself before finishing the task at hand and beginning to fold everything in separate piles of ‘Jayden’s clothes’ and ‘Rylee’s clothes’. Just as I was folding up one of Jayden’s blue pajama bottoms, the doorbell rung and my head snapped up. I wasn’t sure who that could be. It wouldn’t be my mom since she would just walk in and I wasn’t expecting company.
Perhaps, Mom has a delivery she forgot about? I told myself with a shrug. Believing it to be something pretty harmless, I put Jayden’s clothes down and headed for the door. My mom has a peep hole installed in the door, but I never use it and oh God, I wish I’d used it then.
I swung the door open and revealed that none other than Spencer freaking Reid was behind it. My eyes widened in surprise and I looked him up and down, searching for a clue as to why he turned up at my house. I found nothing except his grim expression which didn’t bode well.
“Um, my mom isn’t here if you’re looking for her,” I told him in a quiet voice.
“That’s good because I need to talk to you about something in private,” he barked back and I recoiled a little at his serious tone. Mom had told me that dinner with Spencer last night went well. What on Earth did he have to be angry about?
Before I could formulate a response, Spencer was already pushing his way inside and I had to back away from the door to accommodate him. As soon as his huge, muscular frame was inside, he closed the door behind him and stared at me…head to toe.
My heart started beating faster and faster and I tried to understand what was going on. For the first time ever, Spencer was looking at me with a deep frown and his eyes were hard and piercing as they watched me. I knew he had to be upset about something, but I had no idea what it could be!
I just stood there in silence for a moment and eventually, Spencer decided to speak. “You don’t have anything to tell me, Rylee?” he asked in a harsh voice.
I gulped and shook my head. I was too shocked to connect the obvious dots right in front of me.
“Well, I’ll tell you about some interesting news I learned from your mother on our date last night!” he said with a pointed glare. “It seems like I was right. You have been hiding something from me. Or should I say, someone?”
“Oh…” I managed and then sighed. I looked down at the floor, ashamed that Spencer had found out about Jayden from my mom instead of me. I knew I should have said something sooner, I chastised myself, but it was too late now. The cat was already out of the bag. It did cross my mind that my mom might say something and Dahlia did warn me, but I had been too paralyzed by my own indecision to do anything and now, I was paying the price.
“Why don’t you come sit down?” I asked him with a gentle smile. I offered him my hand, but he didn’t take it.
“No, I don’t think I will, Rylee,” he snapped. “I don’t really feel much like sitting right now. I want to know why you didn’t just tell me that you have a child?”
My hand fell away back to my side and reached up to twist a strand of hair around one finger, watching that instead of maintaining eye contact with a frustrated Spencer. “I did think about it,” I admitted, “I thought about it too much actually. I guess that’s my fault. I tried to think of the best way to go about telling you and I fully intended to tell you myself, but no matter what angle I looked at it from, it seemed like there wasn’t a right way to drop that kind of news on you.”
“Well, the way that I found out – from your mother of all people – was a pretty shitty way of doing it,” Spencer pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t even have the decency to tell me yourself, instead you let someone else do it for you!”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” I told him honestly. My eyes finally returned to meet his gaze. I hoped he could see how genuine and apologetic I felt. “I never even expected to see you again, you have to believe me! I never thought I’d be put in such a difficult situation where you’re back in my life, but you’re actually supposed to be fake-dating my mother!”
I sighed and leaned against the wall, feeling my body sag with exhaustion and sadness. “Spencer, it’s not like I thought all that much about this day. I didn’t exactly prepare a speech!” I implored. I wanted him to understand what the situation was like from my perspective. After all, he was the one who disappeared out of my life. I had no way to contact him and I didn’t even know he tried to find me.
It didn’t seem to soothe Spencer though, if anything it did the total opposite. He took a step toward me and let out a huff of breath. “Stop being flippant, Rylee,” he demanded before reaching up and rubbing his chin with one hand. “I deserve better than this, Rylee. Please, just be honest with me.”
“I’m trying,” I told him with watery eyes. I couldn’t help but feel overly emotional. Everything had gone totally wrong and I didn’t know how to fix it without hurting myself or Spencer or, God forbid, Jayden.
“Then tell me about the child, Jayden is it?”
I nodded. “What do you want to know?” I muttered, my voice cracking a little bit. “My mom’s taken him out so you can’t meet him right now, but I’ll tell you anything you want.”
“Good,” Spencer replied. “Tell me when he was born.”
My eyes flew wide open and I let out another sigh. “June 18th 2015,” I replied.
Spencer nodded. “About nine months after we slept together right? I suspected as much, but I need to hear you say it, Rylee. Can you finally tell me: Is Jayden my son?”
13
Spencer
There was a long, drawn-out silence between us before Rylee answered my question. Her brilliant blue eyes stared up at mine and honestly, she looked pitiful. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears and her cheeks were heated as though she were embarrassed or upset. I didn’t relish being the cause of her discomfort, but I was so pissed off. I wanted to know the truth and I needed to hear it from Rylee herself.
Finally, she looked directly into my eyes and bit down on her plump bottom lip before nodding her head. “Yes, Jayden… Jayden is your son,” she confessed and finally spilled one tear down her right cheek.
I couldn’t believe it. I felt so angry I thought I might burst with rage. The feeling was bubbling up inside me like lava and I was a volcano getting ready to explode. “Why didn’t you tell me before now?” I cried, my face scrunching up in a scowl. “All these years, I’ve had a son I didn’t know about and you never told me? Damn, Rylee, I had a right to know! You never should have kept this from me!”
The expression on Rylee’s face changed then from one of sadness to one of anger. Her eyes blazed with fury and she reached up to wipe away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. “You know what, Spencer? It’s pretty fucking hard to tell you something when you’re not around anymore!” she yelled back at me, her breaths coming fast and hard and her chest heaving from the intensity of the emotions she was feeling. “You were the one who l
eft me, not the other way around! I figured that you were just looking for a quick fuck with a college girl you didn’t know with no strings attached. I thought that night was just something to stroke your middle-aged ego, so when you never came back after that, guess what? I didn’t bother looking for you. So, if you wanna blame me, then fine, go ahead and blame me, but the only thing I knew about you was your first name. How on Earth was I meant to find you? Let alone tell you I was pregnant?”
I knew that she had a valid point and I didn’t want to dismiss what she was saying, but I couldn’t help but feel angry for the years I’d missed out on in my son’s life. I was desperate for something – someone – to blame for it. My rage was probably misdirected at Rylee, but the revelation was so overwhelming and emotional that I couldn’t help it.
I banged my fist against the wall. “Damn it!” I cried out in frustration. “I know it’s not your fault, I’m just pissed as hell, Rylee. I would have moved heaven and hell to be there for my son if I had known I had one!”
Rylee seemed to soften a little at my admission. She reached out and placed one hand on my shoulder. “I promise, I would have told you if you had come back to the coffee shop or even if you’d called me there, but for the six months after we slept together, I heard nothing. How was I supposed to know you’d even be interested in me again or getting to know your son?” she reasoned.
“I expected you to know me better,” I argued. “We spent six months flirting and chatting in that goddamn coffee shop. Didn’t you know me even a little bit?” My heart broke at the thought that maybe Rylee didn’t see who I really was. Maybe she didn’t know me at all.
“I thought I did know you, Spencer,” she said in a gentle voice. “But then you up and left. You practically disappeared overnight without saying a single word. I’ll admit, I jumped to a few conclusions, but can’t you understand why I did?”
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