by Lea Coll
“I have a job interview scheduled in Virginia Beach. If you like it here and the interview goes well, we’ll look for a house.” My eyes watched him for any sign that the last six months were horrible, that he’d want to start over somewhere else.
His face pinched. “Are we going to stay at Grandma and Grandpa’s?”
“Just until I can get us a temporary apartment. Is that okay?” It was important for us to get our own place to start on our new life.
He swallowed. “I guess.”
“Good. Let me get my luggage and we can get out of here.” I headed toward the carousel before I remembered Mia was here.
She stood a couple of feet from us, wringing her hands in front of her. Her long brown hair was down, covering her shoulders. She wore a puffy jacket and leggings that outlined every curve. She looked adorably nervous.
“You brought him?”
Her face filled with uncertainty. “I did. I hope that was okay.”
It was more than okay, my chest tightened with emotion I wasn’t used to feeling. “I can’t thank you enough.” My voice came out gruffer than I intended.
Her hands stilled as a smile overtook her face. “You’re welcome.”
I turned to grab my bag, using it as an opportunity to school my features. Usually when I came home, it was difficult to reengage with Everett, but something about Mia bringing Everett to see me had broken that dam open.
I needed a few minutes to calm myself, to think of something other than how amazing it was she’d shown up. She must have guessed that it was something Rebecca would have done, but my parents wouldn’t. That one act of caring had thrown me off my game.
Not having a someone waiting for me made leaving easier, but now I wondered what it would have been like to have a someone waiting for me. Someone who wanted me.
I took a few deep breaths, smoothing my face into the careful mask I used when I was getting ready to fly, feeling the familiar confidence flow through me before I threw my bag over my shoulder to join them.
“You ready to go?” Now that I was here, I was ready to start my new life, put my plan into action.
My mother hadn’t been there for my sister and me in the traditional sense, but she hadn’t abandoned us physically. Everett would probably always bear the scar of Rebecca leaving. It was my job to lessen the impact. That meant listening to whatever Mia said to help. It meant working fewer hours and being there for him. It meant being the father I should have been all along.
Chapter Eight
Mia
I dropped Mason and Everett off at Paula’s house. The reunion was about Everett and Mason. As soon as Mason saw Everett, he was overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn’t hear Mason’s words, but I saw the raw emotion on his face, the unshed tears in his eyes. When they’d parted Mason finally saw me. There was appreciation in his eyes and heartfelt words but after he grabbed his luggage, his features were carefully controlled.
There were none of the moments we’d shared via messages or on the phone. In the car, Mason peppered Everett with questions about school and life at his grandparents. When I’d dropped them off, he’d thanked me again, but I’d left feeling let down.
I’d selfishly hoped he’d be more excited to see me. The few times we’d talked on the phone, it felt like we were getting to know each other. I’d hoped it was the beginning of something.
I must have been mistaken. I was just a convenient person to talk to. Once again I was there for someone, but he didn’t think of me as more than a friend.
I’d made our conversations into more than they were. I’d been wrong about his wink, his smile, the concern for me in his eyes. He’d said I’d deserved more but hadn’t been referring to himself.
Officially, my fostering duties were over, but I said I’d keep Stark until they were able to get their own place that allowed dogs. I’d come to dread the day when Stark would go back. He’d become a big part of my life. I walked with him daily. I took him with me whenever I could. He slept in my bed. He filled my empty house. Something I hadn’t realized my house needed until he came.
Ever since I moved out of my parents’ home, I’d wanted a family and a home to call my own. When I graduated from college, I immediately started a fund to buy a home. It was more than most kids my age thought about, but it was imperative to me. Even though it wasn’t large it was all mine. With Stark gone, it would seem emptier than ever.
I’d gone on one date while Mason was gone. I’d told myself I was taking a break but maybe I’d been secretly hoping for something to happen with Mason. Watching Mason with Everett made me want a family more than ever.
Mason
A week after I returned, I pulled up to Cole Security Forces for my interview. Rick connected me with the manager, Mark Dixon, while we were deployed. Since I was back, I’d experienced this weird free fall, probably the result of not having the job security I was used to. I’d completed my ten-year commitment to the Navy, but missed out on the hefty retention bonus I would have received had I re-signed for another thirteen years. I didn’t spend much when I was on deployment, which meant I had a decent savings, but I needed a paycheck to rent a house.
One thing was clear, I needed Everett out of my parents’ home and away from their influence. After Mia dropped us off, Everett quietly told me he was told not to discuss his mother while I was gone. Grandma told him she was gone. He needed to get over it. My throat tightened listening to him talk so matter-of-factly. Objectively, I’d known my parents were cold, but it was different seeing your child subjected to it.
Creating a life with Everett was going to be a challenge. I still wasn’t sure how I’d handle this job with Everett. I didn’t want to rely on my parents, so I needed to search for a nanny.
I’d researched my options while I was deployed. I’d need to obtain a commercial pilot license from the FAA. I could use my military flying hours to fulfill the one thousand-five hundred-hour flying requirement. If I wanted more job flexibility, I could work at a regional airport or I could obtain an instructor’s license to teach. I preferred to be in the air but teaching something I was passionate about was attractive.
The question was whether Cole Security Forces would give me a job while I worked toward my certifications.
I walked inside, checked in with the receptionist, taking a seat on a black leather couch. The office was black lines, plush furniture, so different than the military’s bare bones accommodations. I tugged on my collar, unsettled.
The only details Rick gave me about Cole Security Forces was it was run by former Navy SEALs and they needed another pilot. I had nothing but respect for SEALs, so not being one wouldn’t be an issue.
A few minutes later, a tall blond man walked out, tattoos visible on his arms, his expression stern. “Mark Dixon.”
I stood to shake his hand. “Mason Arrington. Nice to meet you.”
“Let’s go to the conference room.” Mark led the way, closing the door behind us.
I followed, nerves building in my stomach. In the Navy, I’d excelled starting in school, passing one test after another until it was routine. This was uncharted territory. I wasn’t sure if I’d excel at civilian work.
I took a seat across the table. “Thanks for meeting with me this morning. Rick said you could use another pilot.”
“Yes. We have one but we could use a second. We are getting requests for missions every day. We recruit more guys, but we can’t take on more missions unless we have a second pilot.” Mark folded his hands on the table, leaning forward. “I have great respect for what you do. You fly fighter jets, drop missiles. That’s badass.”
I relaxed slightly at his joke, knowing there was a but coming.
“The only thing is, we’re a team. We’re retired Navy SEALs used to working as a team. Will you fit in here or is the fighter pilot attitude going to be a problem?” Mark’s tone was light, but his eyes were expectant as if my answer held weight.
“I’m not going to lie. Fighter pilots a
re cocky. I’m no exception, but there are over five thousand people on an aircraft carrier and no job is more important than another. We needed everyone to do their job so that things ran smoothly. The flight deck was a carefully orchestrated machine. One wrong move meant someone could die.” I held my breath, hoping my answer was satisfactory.
Mark nodded. “The Navy vetted you, you’ve had extensive background checks, you’ve received training far above what a commercial pilot would have, and you work well under pressure. It’s not a question. You’re qualified. It’s a matter of getting the necessary certifications.”
“That’s right. My military flying hours will fulfill the flying requirement. I need to take the airplane military competency test, but I’m confident that won’t be an issue.” My shoulders relaxed at Mark’s acknowledgment and respect for my training.
I didn’t mention I’d looked into getting my certification to teach. I wasn’t sure if I could work with Mark and teach at the same time, or if it was more of a backup plan. My desire to excel at my job and this new need to temper it for Everett was a balancing act.
“Good answer. I’ve spoken to your commanding officer. He had nothing but exemplary things to say about you. He said you’re a machine, able to deliver day in and day out without complaint.”
“It’s what you’d expect from a sailor.” I was happy my commander described me that way, but my skin prickled at the description. Did Everett feel the same?
Mark nodded as if satisfied with my response. “One more question. What’s your call sign?”
One thing I was proud of was my nickname. It wasn’t one of the ones I’d received because I was drunk and did something embarrassing like most of the other guys. “Mase.”
Mark’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding?”
I shook my head, laughing. “I’m not. I got lucky. Other guys’ call signs were Yoda, Fungus, and Dodo.” Mine was an easy shortening of my name that had the added benefit of sounding cool.
“You lucked out. Mine is Twilight.” Mark’s expression relaxed.
I cracked a smile. “I do feel very lucky.”
“Is flying anything like the movie?”
I knew what he was talking about. Arrogant pilots competing, teasing, roughhousing, tempered with high-adrenaline moments we lived for. “We compete to see who’s the best pilot and gunner. It pushes us to be our best. We work hard, we play hard was our mantra. Flying is a rush. Dropping missiles on our target is a challenge, but in combat, the men and women on the ground depend on us.”
What we did was important. I could only hope I’d get the same satisfaction from a civilian job. Cole Security was as close as I could get to the military—former soldiers, missions, just no fighter jets. I’d need to join the reserves to get that rush again.
“You’re going to fit right in here.” Mark slapped me on the back. “Let me talk to the owner, Jackson Cole, then I’ll let you know. We might only need you part-time at first to see how it’ll go with the option of expanding if things work out. Would that be okay?”
Relief coursed through my system, easing the tension in my neck. If I got the job, it would be the first step in our new life. “Of course.”
The only difference was, I was a single father. On the carrier, whether my son needed to be picked up from school or he was having a bad day, never interfered with my job. I pushed all of that out of my mind because someone else was caring for him. Now, it was all on me. Pressure built in my chest. There were bound to be times I’d need flexibility. I should be up front with Mark, but I wanted the job. I wanted to prove I could do both and it wouldn’t affect my job or Everett.
Chapter Nine
Mason
I was grateful to Mia for looking out for him while I was gone. My parents hadn’t. They’d provided shelter and food, but they hadn’t ensured he was mentally okay with everything going on in his life. It was impossible for me to do that while I was gone. He could say he was fine on Messenger and that was it. Video chats didn’t happen often because it was so noisy on the ship. I was almost never alone.
Everett said he preferred emails, but I wondered if that was another way for him to pretend everything was okay.
The afternoon of the interview I’d scheduled a meeting with Mia to go over everything that had happened while I was gone and to get insight from her on how to handle things going forward. Taking the necessary steps to handle this parenting thing felt good. For the first time, the military wasn’t dictating my life, I was.
Mia mentioned him acting out, teasing other kids in class, being disruptive, disrespectful to teachers, swearing. I wasn’t sure whether it was my deployment, his mother’s leaving, or both. I grabbed a quick lunch at my parents’ empty home before I headed to the middle school. I was checking in at the front desk when Mia appeared in the doorway.
“Hey, good to see you.” Mia’s smile was professional, but her eyes were friendly.
“Nice to see you.” As soon as I saw her face, I relaxed. Whatever Everett was going through, we’d figure it out together. I followed her down the hall to her office. I waited for her to close the door and sit behind her desk before I did the same.
“You wanted to talk about Everett?” She fiddled with the pens on her desk.
Did I make her nervous? I rested my elbows on my thighs, her eyes flicked to my biceps, then away. “I wanted to go over everything that happened while I was gone.”
I was at a loss as to how to connect with him. I hadn’t brought up his misbehavior since I was home because I wanted to touch base with Mia first.
“Sure. Let me pull his file up.” She turned her attention to the screen.
Files were piled high on the shelves behind her desk. Framed pictures of her surrounded by her friends sat on the window ledge. A vase of fresh flowers rested on the corner of her desk, a combination of sports figures and mascot bobbleheads lined the edge.
Her eyes caught my gaze. “I like to have things for the kids to focus on when I meet with them. Something other than why we’re here.”
I didn’t remember my school counselor from middle school. I was fairly certain I’d never met with him after any of my indiscretions, as my parents called them.
“I have regular meetings with kids going through divorce, a few who experience anxiety, and others where I suspect something’s going on at home, but I’m not sure what. I reach out to them, leaving my door open, so to speak. I hope if they need me, they’ll come to me.”
I nodded. My throat tight. Everett was one of those kids.
Mia’s face softened. “Everett’s a good kid. He’s struggling, but I think I can help.”
“Do you always think that?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
“What?” Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink.
“Do you think you can help every kid?” I crossed my arms over my chest. I was a realist.
“I like to think so. It is my job.” She studied me carefully. “You don’t agree?”
I shifted in my seat. My parents told me they couldn’t handle me. That’s why I was sent away. Her words shifted something heavy inside my chest. “Let’s just say I hope you can, for Everett’s sake.”
Mia’s eyes were sad as she gestured at her office. “I’m only filling in for the counselor who’s on maternity leave this year. Most likely, she’ll be back.”
My stomach dropped at her admission. I shouldn’t care if she was the counselor or not, but consistency was good for Everett. What if the next counselor didn’t care about the reasons Everett acted up? She’d only address his mistakes like my parents. “I didn’t realize this was temporary.”
Was I referring to her job, that she might move, leave our town, leave us? Why did I care? She was Everett’s middle school counselor. I tried pushing the idea that she was more out of my head. While I was deployed, I’d come to rely on her messages, updates, looking forward to the few times we’d talked on video. I liked seeing her relaxed and soft in bed, her hair r
umpled.
Mia straightened her back and lifted her chin. “I’m here now, helping Everett is one of my priorities.”
I didn’t like the idea that her presence in our lives was temporary, but I needed her help now. “Do you have any suggestions on how I should handle things?”
She smiled. “I think you should expect more of him. He’s been in a holding pattern since you were gone. I’m not sure much is expected of him at home. Does he have chores? Is he expected to do his homework as soon as he comes home? Are extracurricular activities something he wants to do or something you could encourage?”
“No. He doesn’t have chores.” I liked how she couched things as a question instead of a should. I’d always avoided requiring too much or stepping in because I didn’t want my military life bleeding into my personal one. This last week I’d noticed Everett had to be reminded to put his dishes away, pick up his book bag. He wasn’t responsible. He didn’t take pride in his actions.
“That would be a good place to start. Sit down with him and go over your expectations. Be firm.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem.” How did I talk to him like a father and not one of my subordinates? Each time I came back from deployment, it was an adjustment.
“Listen, I know this seems overwhelming, but you’re here. You care. You need to show him day in and day out, you’re here for him and you’re not going anywhere.”
I nodded. She made it seem easy, even though it felt like the hardest thing I’d ever done. Harder than landing a plane on an aircraft carrier for the first time, more important somehow. I was solely in charge of shaping Everett as a human being. I couldn’t pass the responsibility to Rebecca anymore. I refused to send him away like my parents did. It was thrilling and scary at the same time.
“You might want to show him how deployments affect you, so he knows that his feelings are normal. It’s possible he thinks you’re okay being gone and he should be too.”