by Lea Coll
My hands in my pockets, I thought about her observation. My experience with women was limited to bars. I didn’t mess with the Navy women. Not worth getting into trouble if we were caught messing around in their room. “I’m not usually. You’re the first woman I’ve ever dated.”
I hoped that admission didn’t change her mind about me.
“I think I like that.” She stared at the sand in front of us, maneuvering the soft terrain. “I think it’s sweet. Your life was the military and supporting your family.”
“I’m a simple guy.” I lowered my gaze, hoping she wouldn’t see the vulnerability that had to be visible. Don’t hedge all your bets on me. I’ve disappointed enough people in my life—my parents, Rebecca, Everett. I couldn’t bear disappointing her.
She stepped closer, curling her hand in my elbow. “You’re exactly who I think you are. Strong, passionate, moral—”
“That’s all?” I teased to break the serious moment.
Her soft laugh tinkled over the water. I was grateful for the chilly wind because we were alone. I was the only one who could enjoy her, how her dark thick hair hung down her back, the warmth of her eyes, and the beauty of her smile.
“I’m sure I could think of more.” She smiled wider. “I’m happy.”
Something pierced my heart at her simple proclamation of happiness. “You are?”
She stopped walking, faced me, and tilted her head. “Very.”
The insecurity I’d felt before picking her up resurfaced. I couldn’t help clarifying, “With me?”
She smiled. “Yes, Mason, with you. Is that so hard to believe? That you could plan a romantic date and I’d enjoy the evening.”
I rocked back on my heels, my breath felt bottled up in my chest. “A little bit, yeah.”
“You said you’ve never done this before, but you did good.”
I didn’t want this moment to end. The moonlight reflected in her eyes, I tucked a strand the wind caught behind her ear, stepping closer to her, my heart beating faster in my chest. My fingers slipped into her hair, soft and heavy, every nerve in my body tingled with awareness. Her breath caught and her lips parted. I wanted to know how soft they’d be, how responsive she was.
I couldn’t remember ever anticipating a kiss—not like this. Not like I had to know how they felt against mine. I wanted her soft body pressed to my hard. Before I could overthink it, I lowered my head, her breath catching the second I touched my lips to hers—soft, pliable. I’d imagined kissing her many times when I was deployed and since I’d returned. My body took over, pleasure pulsing through my veins, making my limbs light, my body weak.
When she opened wider, inviting me in, I cupped the back of her head, tilting her to the angle I wanted, pressing my lips firmly against hers.
A groan slipped from her mouth to mine, her hands on my chest, my jacket falling from her shoulders, as she stepped into my body, for warmth or closeness, I wasn’t sure. I deepened the kiss, exploring the angles of her mouth, reveling in the soft curves of her body lightly pressed to mine.
Every muscle in my body tensed, my cock hardened against my zipper. I wanted her. If I’d met her in a bar, I would have pressed a hand to her lower back, pulling her closer to feel how she was affecting me, but she wasn’t some woman I met in a bar. I let her decide how close she wanted to be. I slowed my kisses before pulling back to scan her face, making sure she was as affected as I was.
Her lips were swollen, her eyes full of desire, her hands gripped my shirt. “That was—wow.”
I smiled, pleased she felt the same way. “I’ll take that.”
She loosened her grip on my shirt, her gaze fell as she smoothed it. Then she shivered, I moved to grab my jacket from the sand, placing it over her shoulders like before.
“Thank you for going out with me.” My hands rested on her shoulders. That kiss filled the recesses of my heart, bringing it to life for the first time.
“I had a good time.”
“Me too.” My hand moved to her cheek, cupping her, my thumb lightly stroking. How did I get so lucky to be with her? She was nothing I deserved, but everything I wanted.
I glanced over her head at the vacant beach, the wind gusted, blowing the skirt of her dress. “I’ll take you home.”
We walked back to the truck, hand-in-hand. I was eager to get Mia into the warm cab. My nerves kicked up when we were heading to her house, the vents on high and facing her. Maybe the walk wasn’t the best idea. Walking on the beach isn’t romantic in February when there’s a cold wind.
Mia was quiet. She’d said she had a good time, but maybe she was being polite. Maybe that kiss on the beach hadn’t affected her. She didn’t feel the same pull I did.
I parked in her driveway, keeping the engine running while I turned slightly toward her. “I’ll walk you to your porch. Wait for me to open the door for you.”
She smiled softly. “Okay.”
I turned off the truck and rounded the hood before opening her door. A flutter I’d never felt before started in my stomach as I held my hand out to her to help her out. It was natural to keep her hand in mine while we walked to the door. We stood in front of the door, she slipped off my jacket, handing it to me.
“You should go inside. It’s cold.” My voice came out gruffer than I intended.
I wanted to kiss her, but I felt awkward. There was more expectations at the end of the date than that moment on the beach.
She lifted on her toes, one hand on my shoulder, one on my neck pulling me down. This kiss was lighter, sweeter than the one on the beach, a promise of new beginnings. When Mia pulled her lips from mine, a jolt went through my body at the realization she was special, making me stumble back a step.
“Good night, Mason.”
“Night.” I watched her walk inside, offering me a shy smile before she shut and locked the door.
This was different than anything I’d experienced before, riskier than flying a fighter jet. I was laying myself open for this woman, giving her the power to eviscerate me.
Chapter Nineteen
Mia
As soon as my door was closed behind me, I flipped the lock, my fingers touching my still-tingling lips.
The kiss was light and sweet, leaving me wanting more. I unstrapped my shoes leaving them by the door, dropped my purse in the kitchen, padding down the hall to my bedroom. I laid on my bed, the comforter cool on my back.
I’d gone on a romantic date with Mason. My body hummed with pleasure, my skin tingled from that kiss, but my brain fought to dissect the night, the fancy restaurant, the romantic walk, the passionate kiss on the beach. It didn’t seem real.
The evening was a cliché with anyone else, but with Mason it was amazing. He’d said he’d never taken a woman out on a date. It made everything more special, and at the same time, more confusing. I wanted to throw myself over the cliff, allowing myself to feel every sensation, think every hopeful thought for our future, but the practical side wanted me to be cautious.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I was supposed to be taking things slow, making sure the guy was in as deep as me, but how was I supposed to know how he felt when I’d been wrong before?
I rolled to my side, my hands under my cheek, my knees to my chest. This time, I’d go into any relationship with my eyes open. I’d be alert for any sign Mason’s feelings or interest in me were changing. I’d be the one to walk away first. I just hoped I was strong enough.
In the two weeks since my date with Mia, I’d gone on a few short flights for work. It was nothing longer than a day, but in a week I’d be gone overnight. I could ask my parents to watch Everett, but I didn’t want to. I’d interviewed some nannies from an online babysitting service, but I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with a stranger staying at the house overnight.
She might snoop through my things or have friends over for a party. The only other option was Mia. Was it appropriate to ask her, and if so, was I asking her as his counselor or the woman I was dating?
&n
bsp; I’d invited her to the park after school so I could throw some balls with Everett and she could spend time with Stark.
On the ride over, Everett asked, “Are you dating Ms. Hatton?”
My stomach clenched. If he had a problem with me dating her, I didn’t know what I’d do. “You can call her Mia when you’re out of school. Would it bother you if we were dating?”
He was quiet for a few seconds as if gathering his thoughts. “It’s weird because I don’t picture you with anyone. I never saw you with Mom or anyone else.”
We weren’t a good example of what a relationship should be. I couldn’t tell him the truth—that we were only together because of him. That I left because our only connection was him. “When we were together, we didn’t have the best relationship. We didn’t argue but—”
“You didn’t love each other.” Longing tinged his tone.
My heart beat loudly in my ears. Had I been mistaken to think Everett didn’t want to see me with someone else. “Was it that obvious?”
“I wish you had someone.” His voice trailed off as he looked away.
I was speechless trying to wrap my mind around what he was saying. I never thought he noticed or cared if I was with someone. I figured he’d resent any woman I chose to be with, so I hadn’t attempted anything serious until now. “I get that. It’s best if your parents are together, sometimes it just doesn’t work out.”
“I like Mia,” he said carefully as if he’d thought about the weight of each word before he said them.
“I do too.” Hopefully, good intentions would be enough. I didn’t want to set us up to be hurt. I wasn’t like the other guys Mia dated. I wasn’t even myself with her. Since I’d always been closed off to love, I could only imagine this new me was a good thing, but I couldn’t predict how it was going to turn out. It was inevitable I’d make a wrong move, screw something up. I could only hope she was patient with me, with us, while we navigated things.
Everett slipped his earbuds in. I hoped my answer satisfied him. His concern only raised more questions for me.
I parked, scanning the area for Mia, finding her seated on a bench by the water. Seeing Stark sniffing the grass, I headed to her, unsure how to greet her. She’d kissed me at the end of the date, but Everett was watching.
I finally settled for, “Hey.”
She smiled up at me. “Hey. Is Everett here?” She stood, glancing behind me.
“Stark’s sniffing every blade of grass. Can I talk to you about something?”
Her forehead wrinkled. “Sure.”
I didn’t want her to think it was anything negative about us, so I said quickly, “He asked if we were dating.”
“Okay.” She drew out the word as she tilted her head at me, blocking the sun with her hand.
“Is it okay if I tell him we’re dating?”
“Of course.” She bit her lip. “If you change your mind—”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her I wouldn’t, even though neither of us could guarantee anything when Everett came up to us.
Mia’s attention turned to Stark who was straining to get to her. She slid to her knees, rubbing his back, and talking nonsense.
“Did you get the gloves and balls?” I asked Everett.
Everett handed me the leash. “I’ll go get them.”
Mia stood, brushing fur off her pants. “It’s a beautiful day.”
It was as if she didn’t want me to ask what she’d been trying to say before Everett arrived. She’d said it without thinking but it meant it was on her mind. Was she worried I’d change my mind about her? “What were you saying when Everett walked up?”
She waved me off. “Oh, that was nothing. Stupid really.” Her eyes shifted to the ground, a flush rising on her cheeks.
I wanted to touch her cheek, reassure her, tell her I had no intention of stopping things between us, but Everett dropped the bucket of balls on the ground beside me, handing me the bat.
“You ready to throw some balls?” Everett asked.
I looked from Mia’s face, her eyes on Stark, to Everett. “Sure.”
Everett grabbed a ball, throwing it in the air as he wandered to a baseball diamond next to the lake.
“I’m going to walk Stark on the path around the lake.” She held her hand out for Stark’s leash, but I held it until her eyes met mine. Her shoulders were high, her muscles tense.
“Are you sure you’re okay with me telling Everett we’re dating?”
Her shoulders relaxed. “Of course.”
“Listen, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t play games. I don’t tell women I’m interested when I’m not. Rebecca and I—we never told each other we were in love because we weren’t. I never lied to her and I won’t lie to you. She wasn’t the one for me.”
“Are you saying you think I’m the one for you?” Her voice rose at the end as if it was too good to be true.
I hoped she felt the same sense of possibilities with me that I did with her. “I don’t know. What I do know is that everything feels right with you. That could be because I’ve never opened myself up to anyone before.” I wanted to ride this wave of what I felt for Mia until its conclusion, but I was too practical to make promises I couldn’t keep.
“Okay.” Her face smoothed out.
The tightening in my chest that appeared when she asked if I’d change my mind eased.
“You comin’ or not?” Everett called.
Mia smiled. “You’d better go.”
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hug her, but it was a little weird with Everett watching.
“Have a good walk.” I picked up the bucket of balls and the bat, meeting Everett on the baseball diamond.
We threw the ball for a few minutes to warm up, then some grounders. “You know what position you want to try out for?”
“Maybe first base? Outfield. I have no idea.”
Everett was tall for his age, either position would be good. “Let’s bat.”
I threw balls at him from the mound. Hit some line drives, some pop-ups. He was decent. I hoped Coach Patrick let him on the team so he could be part of something. I didn’t care if he played or was the best on the team. I wanted him to find some good friends and learn what it was like to be on a team. Something I hadn’t learned until military school.
It was a cool day, but when we’d been playing for a while, I wiped away the sheen of sweat on my forehead.
“You look great, Everett,” Mia said, standing on the third base line.
“Yeah?” Everett asked.
She shielded the sun with her hand. “I don’t know much about baseball, but you were hitting the ball.”
“What matters is that you practice and work hard.” I sounded like my dad, but the difference was I was practicing with him, not showing up at a game, providing critique afterward.
Everett nodded.
“I don’t think they cut anyone in tryouts. It’s more of a get to see how everyone plays kind of thing,” Mia said.
That relieved some of the pressure in my chest.
A kid Everett’s age ran up to us. “Hey, Everett. Are you trying out for the baseball team?”
Everett’s face was wary. “Yes.”
“I am too. You want to throw around a bit?” he asked.
Everett looked at me hopefully.
“That’s fine with me. What’s your name?” I asked him.
“Joey Gebhart.” The boy shook my hand, which impressed me.
“I’m going to talk to Mia over there.” I gestured toward a bench by the water.
Everett wasn’t listening. He’d taken my glove and handed it to Joey. I wanted this one-on-one time with him, but having friends was just as important.
I walked over to Mia. “He found a friend.”
“Joey’s a good kid.”
I sighed. “I never thought I’d be stressed over who my kid talks to. I want him to have good friends who are good influences, but how do I know?”
Mia laughed. “W
ell I can tell you what I know from interacting with them at school, but it’s never one-hundred-percent. You can get to know the parents, communicate with your kids. Develop trust, so that if he finds himself in a bad situation, he won’t be afraid to call. I think it’s the parents who are overly strict who have more issues. Those kids will do anything to avoid calling their parents if they’re in trouble.”
I wanted to ask if Mia’s aunt and uncle were strict, but I feared it was the opposite, they’d ignored her. That’s why she clung on to people so hard. “That’s good to know.”
We sat on a bench in the sun overlooking the water. A sense of peace and contentment rolled through my body as I relaxed onto the bench, my legs spread wide.
Mia bumped shoulders with me. “First, a romantic date, then this.”
“This is romantic, isn’t it?”
She laughed, her cheeks rosy, her eyes twinkling. “Yes. That’s my point. When I pictured being with you, I didn’t picture romantic.”
I laughed, knowing she was right. “What did you picture?”
Her humor slipped, leaving a hunger in her eyes as she licked her lips, seemingly searching for words. “Not a walk on the beach or baseball in the park.”
I sensed she was covering up her true thoughts, thoughts I very much wanted to learn. I leaned closer, bracing my hand on the bench behind her. “Mia Hatton. Were you thinking about other things?”
“Mason—” Her eyes moved from mine to my lips.
I wanted to cup the back of her head and kiss her even though Everett wasn’t far away. Even though anyone could see us. I wanted to claim her as mine. I lowered my head until my breath mingled with hers. I brushed my lips over hers once, then twice. That would have to be enough until we were alone.
“Did you think about what it would feel like for me to be on top of you, my weight pressing you into the mattress?” My voice was low, my words intimate. I wanted to show her who I was. I could be romantic, but I wanted to seduce her, draw her in, show her how she affected me.
Her lips parted in shock or surprise I wasn’t sure.
I cupped her jaw, tilting her head up slightly, my thumb tracing her lips. “I may be different with you, Mia, but I’m still me.”