Impassioned: A Salvation Society Novel

by Lea Coll

  I whimpered as that feeling built inside again, more intense with his body surrounding mine. If I thought I could hold myself apart from him if we had sex, I was wrong. Each time he ripped me open a little more, making me think things between us were possible.

  When his thumb flicked my nipples, I was gone, lost in my head, rushing to an orgasm more powerful than the last. We crescendoed together, his lips in my hair, his fingers grazing my nipples. I squeezed my eyes shut, tears threatening to trickle over. I’d never tire of this feeling, his hands on my body, claiming, possessing, his lips in my hair, my body praising, assessing.

  I stayed in that position as he pulled out, kissing my shoulder one last time before I heard him get off the bed and close the bathroom door behind him. When he returned, he wrapped himself around my body, spooning me. “Stay for a while.”

  I nodded, not able to speak. I’d do anything he asked.

  He fell asleep within minutes, his arms around me loosened, his breath deepened. I watched the clock until I was sure he was out for the night. I lifted his arm, sliding out from under him. I moved quietly around the room, looking for my clothes. I didn’t want to be here when Everett woke. He wasn’t ready for that yet.

  When I was dressed, I watched Mason sleeping in bed, wishing I could stay. I softly closed his door behind me as I tiptoed down the hall, the steps, stopping long enough to grab my purse. I was out the door, driving home within minutes. My heart still beating rapidly from my efforts.

  Another perfect evening with Mason. Another amazing night in his bed. I tightened my fingers on the steering wheel. Would my past prevent me from having a healthy relationship? Could I maintain enough distance so he wouldn’t feel smothered, so he wouldn’t run when things got serious?

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Mason

  I woke up, the smell of Mia lingering on my now-cold sheets. When had she left? Had she woke at dawn to sneak out? Or had she left after I’d fallen asleep? I wanted her to stay but maybe she thought it was too soon.

  I showered quickly, thinking of last night, a happy, content feeling flowed through me. I wasn’t looking for the next deployment, next promotion, or mission. I was happy exactly where I was. In this house I rented with Everett, making our family, defining our roles, inviting Mia to share our lives. It felt right. It felt good.

  A familiar anticipation thrumming in my veins, a tingling in my fingertips. A feeling I got when I was in the air.

  I cooked eggs and waffles for Everett, wanting to make sure he’d had a good breakfast before school. I felt a little guilty being gone one night even though it was part of my job. I didn’t want to leave him.

  Everett came down, black T-shirt, ripped jeans, untied sneakers, throwing his backpack on the counter.

  “Eat.”

  He didn’t respond. He didn’t usually speak to me in the morning. He took a while to wake up like his mother. I was trained to be up early for training, so it didn’t faze me.

  I sat across from him, having eaten while I was cooking. “Mia will be here tonight.”

  Everett nodded before he put a large bite of eggs in his mouth.

  “Are you still okay with this? I could ask your grandparents if you could stay there.”

  “I’d rather be here.”

  “That makes sense. I just wanted you to have the option.”

  “It’s fine. I like Mia.” Everett continued to shovel in the food, clearing his plate in no time. Then he drank the glass of orange juice I’d placed next to his dish.

  “Good. That’s good.” I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but he liked Mia. Was it possible that I’d finally found my purpose after my military career was over? I’d always thought I’d be lost when I retired, instead, it was the opposite, anything felt possible.

  I rose when he placed his dish in the sink. “Have a good day at school. I’ll be home late tomorrow night.”

  “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” He slung his backpack over his shoulder, leaving for the bus.

  Mia

  I was nervous to watch Everett and worried about Mason. He was more than capable of taking care of himself. Mason couldn’t talk about his job or his mission, just to say his part of the job wasn’t dangerous. He was merely the pilot. He didn’t go on the ground with the other guys. That settled me a little, but I still worried about him. I wouldn’t relax until he was home.

  I couldn’t speak to Mason while he was gone. He said his phone would mostly be off, but he’d turn it on occasionally to check for updates.

  When I’d gotten home from school, Everett was already home, having ridden the bus. He was in his room, the door shut, music pounding. I think he was taking advantage of Mason being gone, because I’d never heard him listen to loud music otherwise.

  I knocked on his door several times until he answered. “Yeah?’ he asked when he finally answered the door.

  “Are you working on your homework?” He gestured to his open book on his desk.

  “Okay. Maybe another thirty minutes and we’ll start dinner.”

  “Sure.” His hand was on the door. From what I could see his room was fairly picked up. Mason’s house was usually neat and organized, probably his military training, and I was happy to see that was rubbing off on Everett.

  I turned to walk away and he said, “Mia.”

  “Yeah?”

  His gaze dropped to his shoes. “You’re good for Dad.”

  My stomach dropped as if I was on a roller coaster. “You think so?”

  “Yeah. You’re a good person.”

  “Thank you, Everett. That’s sweet.” I barely refrained from lifting my hand to cover my heart. I was touched but I didn’t want to tell him how much because I didn’t want to embarrass him.

  “Yeah, okay.” His cheeks pink, he shut his door.

  Relief coursed through my body making my limbs weak, my head light. The fact that Everett was okay with me dating his father was huge. I hadn’t realized before now that part of me had been afraid that Everett might not like me.

  What would it be like to live with Mason? Maybe not in a rented house, but in mine? The home I’d bought envisioning myself living in it with a boyfriend, getting engaged, married, having our first child there. It was small but perfect for three people and a dog. Coming home from work, making dinner, helping with homework, evenings watching TV with Mason, nights in his bed. Love. It would be full of love and happiness.

  I read the note Mason left on the counter. He’d written down the same schedule he’d discussed with me, suggesting a couple of possible meals based on what he’d bought at the store. The neat printed handwriting, the detailed notes, were all Mason. Organized and detailed to the core. I pulled out the ingredients, turning on the stove to heat. I chopped veggies while I waited for Everett to join me.

  We prepared the rest of the meal in companionable silence. When the casserole was in the oven, he asked, “Can I finish my homework while it’s cooking?”

  “Of course.”

  I watched him leave, heading back to his room. Everything had been quiet since the last time Everett was called to the principal’s office. Mason was paying Everett for the work he was doing on my shelves so that he could pay the bill for the property damage in the locker room. I hoped he learned his lesson, making better choices.

  I called Everett to dinner when the casserole had cooled. I thought it might be awkward since he wasn’t very talkative, but I asked about baseball tryouts, which kept him talking while we ate. I stood to clear the dishes and Everett followed.

  “Dad is happier since he’s been back,” Everett said tentatively as if it was something he’d been considering for a while.

  “Maybe he’s happier knowing he’s not going to be deployed for long periods of time. He’s happy he can be here for you.”

  “You think so?” Everett’s tone was disbelieving, his expression hopeful as if he was torn.

  Just because Mason had opened up to me didn’t mean he’d been that way with Ever
ett.

  “Everett, your father talks about how happy he is to be here, to be a father to you. He feels like he missed out on a lot when you were younger.”

  I didn’t mention he came to this revelation because his mother left. Maybe he would have on his own. All that mattered was that Mason was stepping up now.

  “Good.” Emotions filtered over his face, happiness, relief, before he turned to go upstairs. I didn’t stop him because he probably needed a moment to himself.

  I hoped I hadn’t overstepped by saying those things to him. Mason hadn’t discussed any parameters with me, what was acceptable to discuss. I had to remember I wasn’t Everett’s mother. We hadn’t put a label on what we were.

  When I finished cleaning up, I took Stark out in the yard, playing fetch with him, before settling down to watch TV. Before getting ready for bed, I sent one more message to Mason. It was weird to be here by myself. His sheets smelled like him, but the bed was so big and empty. I missed him, yet at the same time, it felt right cooking in his kitchen, sleeping in his bed, connecting with Everett. It felt as if I belonged.

  The next morning was a rush getting breakfast and Everett to the bus. I wasn’t used to making a big breakfast, but Mason apparently made eggs, pancakes, or waffles for him every morning. Work went smoothly. I was excited to see Mason when he got home tonight. He’d responded to my texts this morning asking me to stay the evening at his house, so he’d see me when he got back.

  I loved that he asked. That he wanted to see me. He hadn’t said he missed me, but he must have if he wanted me in his bed when he arrived. After eating leftovers, Everett spent most of the time in his room studying for a test the next day.

  I fell asleep early, waking when Mason slipped into bed behind me, kissing my temple. “I missed you.”

  I turned in his arms, reveling in the warmth from his naked body, his scent. “I missed you too.”

  “Everything went well with Everett?”

  “Yeah. I think so. How was flying?” I kept my voice low so I wouldn’t wake Everett.

  He placed kisses on my neck, the corner of my mouth. “It was amazing.” He rolled me so I was on my back. “But not as amazing as being here with you.”

  He slid my silk pajama bottoms and panties down my legs and off, settling between my legs, his fingers separating my folds before his tongue licked me.

  The sensation after waking up was almost too much. Each touch of his fingers, his lips, his tongue, sent me barreling toward my release. My fingers gripped his hair, wanting to slow him down, but not at the same time. “Mason,” I cried as my climax hit me.

  He continued until the convulsions slowed and I was limp underneath him.

  “I could get used to coming home to you waiting for me, warm and welcoming.”

  “Hmm.” My hands ran up and down his back, his muscles flexed as he held himself above me, my heart full that I was here with him. “I could get used to being wakened like this too.”

  “You’re sweet.”

  How long had it taken me to find a man who appreciated me for being me? He was worth the wait. He was worth everything. He rolled on a condom, sliding into me, feeling larger and bigger than usual. My hands went to his ass urging him deeper as my ankles hooked around his legs. His kisses swallowed my moans as he drove me hard and fast to a second orgasm. This one left me wanting more, more of him, more nights in his bed, dinner at his table, more of everything.

  I wanted to say I love you, but it was too soon. My feelings of love were a fall back to old Mia, the one who fell into love too easily.

  Mason went to the bathroom, returning with a warm washcloth to clean me.

  I closed my eyes, feeling too awake to sleep. Mason fell asleep within a few minutes, his breathing deep and even. The old fears crept in, the doubts, the insecurities. Would I be enough for Mason?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Mason

  It was a mild March day, the breeze from the water cooling. Mark and his wife, Charlie’s house was located in Sandbridge, on the outskirts of Virginia Beach. A bounce house was set up outside for the kids to expend their energy. I introduced Everett to everyone before telling him he could listen to music on his phone.

  “Everyone seems so close,” I said to Mark. While deployed on an aircraft carrier, we talked about our home life, but most seemed to realize quickly it was harder to bring up family. It was easier to focus on the job.

  “We’re like family. In a lot of ways, we’re closer to each other than our actual families. The women support each other when we’re out of town, helping with the kids.”

  Different than the Navy, because this close-knit group of women supported each other when their men went on missions. On the carrier, the men and women were from all over the country making a support system between their families impossible.

  The missions at Cole Security weren’t as long as deployments but it was the same idea. They took care of things at home so our minds could be on the job.

  Mark watched Mia as she crouched down to Mark’s daughter, Makenna’s level listening to whatever story she was relaying to her. “Some women can’t handle their men being gone. The job coming first.”

  Rubbing the back of my neck, I wanted to say this thing with Mia was new. It was too early to know if she’d be a long-term thing. “She watched Everett while I was gone this week.”

  Mark’s eyes widened as he focused his attention on me. “That’s great. You must trust her.”

  “I do. She’s his counselor at school.” It was more than her training and education though. I trusted her to protect the most precious person in my life, my son.

  “Who watched him while you were deployed?”

  “My parents. After my last deployment, they said they didn’t expect to be helping out as much anymore.”

  I hated admitting to people that my parents weren’t like other people’s, but it was good for Mark to understand I didn’t have a lot of outside help with Everett. It was just me, and now Mia.

  “If you need anything, we’re here. We support each other. I know the women will accept Mia into the fold too.” Mark slapped my back before approaching Charlie, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

  The love between them radiated in their smiles, eyes, and body language. She sank back into his chest, tilting her head up to laugh at something he’d said.

  Makenna grabbed Mia’s hand, tugging her to the bouncy house. Mia kicked her shoes off before climbing inside after her. Mia sat on the floor of the bouncy house while the kids jumped around her, her eyes happy. She reached out a hand here and there to help one of them.

  Our eyes met and she smiled. She looked content and happy sitting in a bouncy house, with children, and chaos. She’d never looked more beautiful surrounded by everything she’d ever wanted, a family, children, friends. It struck me that I wanted to be the one who gave her everything she desired.

  “Mia is brave to be in the bouncy house,” Natalie said from my side. Her husband called her Lee but that seemed too informal when I didn’t know her that well.

  “She is.” Pride surged through me that Mia was drawn to the children at the party. Maybe she was sensitive to children because of what she went through or because she was a counselor for kids.

  “Have you been together long?”

  I felt Natalie’s gaze on the side of my face. We’d only been dating a few weeks, since before Valentine’s Day but I’d known her since last August. “We met right before my last deployment at the end of summer. She watched my dog for me. We kept in contact while I was gone. She was my son’s counselor at school too. She helped him when I couldn’t be here.”

  “That’s great. It’s good to have someone who’ll have your back through good times and bad. Especially with your job. You need someone taking care of the home front so you can keep your mind on the job.”

  It was similar to what Mark said but coming from a woman it meant a lot. She knew what it was like to be the one home when her husband was de
ployed or on missions.

  “I spoke with Mia earlier and she seems like a good person. She’s sweet and caring.”

  “She is.”

  “I’m so glad you could make it today. Welcome to our little family.” Natalie lightly touched my shoulder before moving to her children who were fighting in the bounce house over something.

  It felt good to be a part of something again.

  Mia climbed out of the bounce house before making her way to me, her hair mussed, her clothes disheveled, but her eyes bright with happiness. “Are you having fun?”

  I raised a brow at her.

  She giggled. “I didn’t think parties were your thing, but this is different. It’s like one big happy family.” Her eyes were bright, her cheeks rosy.

  I wrapped an arm around her waist bringing her snug against me, lowering my mouth to her temple. “It’s worth it to see you so happy.”

  “I am so happy.” She sank into me.

  Could this be it for me? Mia as my girlfriend, my significant other, the one who cared for Everett when I couldn’t be home? Or was it too much too soon?

  Because she was everything I wasn’t. I’d brought her here to soften my edges and she’d done more than that. She fit in with my coworkers, the people I hoped to become friends with. She was special. She was worth holding on to—to see where this could go.

  With her past, I knew she’d never walk out on us. Once Mia loved, she loved with her whole heart. Did I want that or was I content with my old life? The one where I merely existed, worked hard, played hard, but kept most people at a distance.

  Only Mia had ever made me want more for myself. It felt almost too good to be true. Wanting a woman in my life who’d stick, who’d love with her whole heart. It seemed out of my reach. As if it was something I could hope for but not keep for myself.