The N Word: Redefining Me (Book 2)

by MacQueen, Michelle

  “My little virgin ears can’t take any more of this,” Becks said from the doorway.

  Avery and Nari both jumped, but their hands didn’t part.

  “Virgin,” Avery scoffed. “If you’re a virgin, then I’m—

  “A douche?”

  Nari laughed. She loved how close Avery and Becks were. It reminded her of her friendship with Peyton. Although, Peyton was nicer than Becks.

  “Maybe if you didn’t eavesdrop, your virgin ears would be fine.” Avery dropped Nari’s hand and crossed his arms over his chest.

  Becks gave him an affronted stare. “Then how would I hear what’s going on? It’s Nicky’s fault, really.”

  Nicky appeared from a nearby doorway where he’d been listening too. “How is any of this my fault? You literally stood behind me and pushed me up the stairs so we could snoop.”

  Becks shrugged, turning to Nari. “You tell him you’re pregnant yet?” He grinned at Avery. “Congratulations, Daddy.”

  “Nari’s pregnant?” Nicky asked, his eyes wide.

  Becks walked toward him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, guiding him to the stairs. “Let’s give these two some privacy like I told you we should’ve done in the first place.”

  Nicky snorted.

  Becks ignored him. “And I’ll tell you about the birds and the bees. I’m sorry, I would change the story to the bees and the bees to be all accepting and shit, but then you’d never be able to explain to your coming nephew how he came to be.”

  “I know how straight sex works, Becks.”

  “Of course, you do.” Becks patted his arm. “But do you know how two straight people make a baby?”

  Nari couldn’t hold in her laughter as they disappeared down the stairs.

  “What’s the difference between making a baby and sex?” Avery asked.

  “Does anything Becks says make sense?”

  “Good point.” He pulled her back toward him. “Now about this pregnancy story.”

  Nari groaned as she told him everything that had happened that night. By the end, Avery’s laughter rolled out of him.

  She collapsed onto his bed, a silly grin on her face. Avery lowered himself next to her so they were laying side by side. His hand drifted down over her arm to grip her hand. He brought it up to his lips.

  “Nari Won Song, will you, um… Do you know how I feel about you?”

  Nari leaned her head on his shoulder. “Yes, Avery. I’ll be your girlfriend.”

  He rolled toward her, pressing a kiss to her lips. “This time, there’s nothing fake between us.”

  She nodded in agreement. “You and me, Avery. Nothing has ever felt more real.”

  20

  Avery

  One Month Later

  “Grab a box on your way out, Avery.” His mother steered him toward the heavier boxes in the foyer.

  “I thought we were downsizing.” Avery hefted the box onto his shoulder. “But you’ve got like six zillion boxes on the truck already.”

  “At least three zillion are going to Goodwill.”

  “And how small is this new house?” Avery frowned. He and Nicky had to downsize too. In some ways, it was sad, leaving their things behind. In other ways, it was liberating.

  “It’s a normal-sized house with normal-sized bedrooms. I really hope you boys like it.” She folded a set of towels Avery had never even seen. “Are you sure—”

  “We’ve been over this, Mom. You’re not allowed to ask that question anymore.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I’m totally on board with this move, so stop worrying.”

  “Be at the new house by three, son. I need to put those muscles to good use unpacking all this stuff.”

  “Can’t wait to see this mystery house.” Avery smiled, feeling lighter than he had in years. His family was on the mend. Pop was getting help. They were choosing to see the move as a fresh start rather than a sad end to their previous life of privilege.

  Avery loaded the box into the moving van already nearly bursting with the things they couldn’t bear to part with. It was a good thing he was going away to school soon. One less person in the new house would likely be a relief for his parents.

  “You excited for the big move?” Nari asked, leaning against his car.

  “Yes and no,” he said, tugging her belt loops to bring her closer. “I’m excited for my family.” He caught her lips in a warm kiss. “But not excited about not living next door to my beautiful girlfriend.” He kissed her again. “I’ve grown quite fond of climbing in through your window to kiss you goodnight.”

  “Ahh.” Nari leaned her head back with a smile. “With the St. Germaine boys across town, I might get some actual sleep.”

  “Where are we going?” Avery asked, holding the passenger door open for her.

  “Just hanging out at Peyton’s.”

  Avery crossed to the driver’s side feeling apprehensive about visiting the Callahans. That house brought back so many memories of Cooper. But Avery was moving on from the pain of losing his best friend. It was time to let the past stay in the past. Time to live in the moment, and right now he had some important news to share with Nari.

  “I have news.” Avery said, backing out of the drive.

  “You’re...joining the band?” Nari grinned.

  “Definitely not.” Avery laughed.

  “You’re…joining the circus?” Her eyes lit up as she teased him. He would never get tired of seeing her so happy.

  “I have a full academic scholarship waiting for me,” Avery said. “If I decide to take it.”

  “Take it, crazy.” She brushed the loose strands of her hair from her face. “What school?”

  “Vanderbilt University in Nashville,” he said softly.

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened in surprise.

  “It just sort of happened. Becks—the meddling meddler himself—talked me into applying. I visited the campus two weeks ago and talked to a financial advisor. They want me to play football, of course. They have a decent team, and they’re part of the Southeastern Conference. But they said they are happy to have me either way. As an academic recruit to their sports medicine program, with my background in sports and Pop’s history in the NFL, they’re thrilled to have me. And I talked to the coach. He invited me to try out. He understood my desire to stay out of the limelight and let my academic responsibilities come before football. He said there’s no reason I couldn’t have both, letting football come as a second priority.”

  Nari turned toward him and just stared, her cheeks flushed pink.

  “It’s a great school, Nari. And it’s only a few hours from home, so it would be easy to come home on the weekends to check on my family. I know we really just started dating, and it’s too soon to be thinking about our future—”

  “Shut up, you big goof.” She shoved him playfully. Her beautiful smile lit him up on the inside. “This is great news, Avery. I’m so proud of you. And so relieved you’ll be in Nashville too. You’ll be able to bail me out when I try to kill Becks, because it’s going to happen. You’re like the Becks whisperer. If you want him to survive, you have to take this scholarship. And Vanderbilt? Mr. Smarty Pants! That’s not just a good school, that’s where all the geniuses go. You don’t say no to a school like that.”

  “So, it doesn’t freak you out that I’m like stalking you by going to Nashville too.”

  “Oh, please, this has Becks written all over it. He’s played us both like puppets.”

  “He does like getting his way.” Avery grinned, pulling up in front of Peyton’s house.

  “Oh, I’m such a poop.” Nari clapped her hand on her forehead. “Is this weird for you? Coming to Cooper’s house like this?”

  Avery tried to hide his laughter by getting out of the car. “You’re not a poop, Nari.”

  “You’re laughing again.” She joined him on the curb.

  “You know I’m going to laugh every time you say it.” He shook his head, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

&
nbsp; “It should be getting old by now.”

  “That will never get old.”

  “You’re here!” Peyton called from the porch. “We’re sitting out back, come on, we’ve got virgin margaritas and tons of food on the grill.”

  It was like stepping back in time. The last two years vanished, and Avery felt like he’d come home. Home to his friends and the person he was meant to be all along.

  “Avery’s going to Vanderbilt!” Nari announced with a little bounce. “Sorry.” She winced. “That was your news, but I’m just so excited.”

  “It’s our news.” Avery wrapped his arm around her.

  “Congratulations, man.” Cam reached to shake his hand. “We know Peyton’s going to MIT in Cambridge, so I’m looking at schools in the Boston area. I was accepted to two but can’t decide between them.”

  “Cam’s going into orthopedics,” Peyton said proudly.

  “I want to work with amputees, particularly athletes and veterans,” Cam said. “I’m thinking about med school too. I’d love to work with cutting-edge prosthetics for athletes.”

  “So, no paralympics for you?” Avery asked. He’d always assumed that was where Cam would end up.

  “The Olympic dream just doesn’t have the same appeal as it once did. I don’t need to be the best. I just want to run, and I’m excited to get back into the sport. I’m hoping to run track for whatever college I attend.”

  “That’s great.” Avery slapped Cam on the back.

  “So, Julian, you going to Nashville with the band or off on the college track?” Nari asked.

  “I still haven’t decided.” Julian rubbed the back of his neck. “College was always the plan, but I don’t know if it’s in the cards. I know I won’t be going to an MIT or a Vanderbilt. I’ll probably just go to a state school or community college, so I still have plenty of time to figure it out.”

  “Come to Nashville with the band,” Nari pleaded. “We’re so good together.”

  “You guys are the real talent. I just like playing in the background, any half decent guitarist could do that for you.”

  “But we like you.” Nari gave him a playful shove.

  Avery wasn’t sure, but Julian looked surprised at that.

  “Burgers are ready,” Mr. Callahan announced from his place at the grill. Everyone swarmed the table where Mrs. C had the food spread out. It was just like old times. Avery could recall a hundred afternoons just like this one when they were kids. The only one missing was Addison, but she was inching her way back to them. And Avery might be the only one who knew just how hard that was for her.

  “You both have your own bedrooms, but you’ll have to share a bathroom. I hope that’s okay.” Avery’s mom clasped her hands as she took them on a tour of the new house. It was nothing like he’d imagined. For one, it was still a big house, just not the monstrosity they’d lived in before.

  “Are you kidding, this is great,” Nicky said. “I don’t mind sharing a bathroom with Avery for a few months. Once he’s in school, it’s all mine.”

  “Remember, I’m coming home on the weekends.”

  “Sure, you are. Once you get settled, you, Nari, and Becks will be too busy to bother coming home. So I’m just going to have to come hang out with you there.”

  “There’s one thing that might bring my boys back from school at least on a semi-regular basis.” Their mom smiled. “I have a surprise in the backyard. Go check it out.”

  Avery and Nicky raced down the stairs and through the huge kitchen to the back door.

  “Yes! It’s a pool.” Nicky gave a fist pump.

  “We’ve wanted a pool for years,” Avery said.

  “This house was the right size, in our price range, and it had a pool, it was begging to be our new home.” Their mom joined them on the deck.

  “I’ll definitely come home for this.” Avery draped his arm around his mom. “But how is this downsizing?”

  “Yeah, I thought we were broke,” Nicky added.

  “We’ve made some changes. Sold some things. We’re okay, boys. I don’t want you worrying about finances. Your father did a brave thing the night he checked himself into rehab. He’s doing great, and he knows he has a long road ahead of him. But, he loves his family.” Her eyes brightened with a sheen of tears. “He loves his boys so much.”

  “We know, Mom,” Nicky said. “We’re just glad he’s getting help.”

  “He doesn’t want you to know this, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I think you deserve to know. Your father sold two of his Super Bowl rings. He kept one, his first one. He says that’s the one that matters, but he doesn’t care about everything we’re losing because his family means more to him than the NFL ever did. But with the money from the two rings, along with selling the house, the cars, boats, and all the things we never really needed, we’re going to be more than okay.”

  Avery was so angry with his father for so long, but deep down inside, under the CTE and alcoholism, his father still managed to be his hero.

  “When’s Pop coming home?” Nicky asked.

  “Soon. And we need to make this a stress-free environment before he gets here. Can I count on my guys to help me make sense of all these boxes?”

  “We’ll always be here for you, Mom.” Nicky wrapped his arm around her with Avery on her other side.

  “It’s good to be home,” Avery said.

  Epilogue

  Nari

  Three Months Later

  Why did Nari let Becks talk her into this? She bounced on her toes, nervous energy keeping her from standing still as she peeked around the edge of the thick velvet curtain blocking the crowd from view.

  Five words. End. Of. Year. Talent. Show.

  “I wish this was a competition,” Becks said as he stepped up next to her to peek around the curtain. “We’d crush it.”

  “The best thing about you is your modesty, Beckett Anderson.” Nari shook her head. Just having Becks with her calmed the nerves, infusing the kind of confidence she’d experienced so few times in her life.

  Would this be what it was like when they did gigs in Nashville? In one month, they’d be on their way to a different life. Becks thought they were headed for stardom. Nari would be happy playing in bars while doing her degree online and writing songs with Becks. Anything to keep her playing music. She didn’t need fame.

  But he did. She grinned up at Becks. With a face and a voice like his, it was only a matter of time.

  His smile matched hers. “What use is modesty, Nar-Nar? It won’t keep us warm at night. It won’t fill our bank accounts. Sometimes, when you’re good at something, you need to own it, believe it, tell it.” He shot her a wink. “Well, show starts in five. I’m off to tell everyone else how amazing I am.”

  She only shook her head at his retreating form. How could he be so calm when they were about to reveal their band to the entirety of Twin Rivers High? The show happened every year. Only seniors got to be in it, but the rest of the student body filtered into the auditorium instead of their fifth period classes.

  Nari smoothed a hand over her pink highlights. What were they going to say? For most of the year, four of their peers had been performing together, and they hadn’t known. Four people from different echelons of high school society were now—dare she say it—friends.

  Becks, the golden boy, beloved by each person in those velvety seats. Julian, the loner, a mystery few people even tried to solve, the boy who reminded them too much of his more popular brother—the friend they’d lost.

  Wylder, the only one who looked like she belonged in a band, but as a sophomore, she would be the youngest person on the stage.

  And Nari. What did they think of her now? The quiet, glasses-wearing nerd who’d jumped above her station and fallen in love with the boy all of them wanted. Wait…love?

  Arms came around Nari’s waist. She’d recognize Avery’s woodsy scent anywhere. He buried his face in her neck, and she leaned back into him. “You aren’t supposed to be back here.�
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  “I had to see you before you went on.”

  A small smile played on her lips. Yep, she was so gone for this boy. If anyone told kid-Nari that she’d one day feel her best friend Avery’s soft lips moving along her skin, she’d have gagged before running away.

  Months ago, if anyone told Nari she’d turn into enemy-Avery’s arms and boldly claim his lips with hers, she’d have died from laughter.

  But now… now, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. And in one month, there wouldn’t be high school trying to trip them up at every turn or their pasts staring them in the faces as they drove through the streets of Twin Rivers. They’d leave everything behind, all their baggage.

  “Oy,” Becks called. “Lover boy, let my girl go. I need those pretty lips of hers and the sound that comes out of them.”

  Avery rolled his eyes. Becks constantly said things to try to get a rise out of them. “These lips are mine,” Avery whispered, pressing soft kisses against them.

  Nari hummed in the back of her throat. “Actually, they’re mine. But I’ll let you borrow them after the show.”

  He grinned, giving her a final kiss. “Deal.”

  It took every ounce of willpower to skip away from Avery. The current talent show act was wrapping up and Anonymous was next. That name wouldn’t work for them after today.

  Julian squeezed Nari’s arm. “You ready for this?”

  “Yeah.” She pushed her hair out of her face to give him her biggest grin, because she realized it was the truth. She was ready. This was going to be her life for the foreseeable future—performing, giving in to the adrenaline. And she was so ready.

  This time, when she bounced on her toes, the excitement rather than nerves propelled her movements.

  All four of them faced each other, one final performance. After this, Julian and Wylder would go their own ways while Becks and Nari headed to Nashville. Anonymous would be no more. It was the end of something special but maybe the beginning of something too.