Learning to Love

by Julie Evelyn Joyce

  “There is absolutely nothing he could say or do at this point that would redeem him in my eyes. I don’t want to be within five feet of that man.”

  “Aww, hon.” Rebecca hated to see her friend so upset, but she couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever been so worked up over a guy before. “I think we need a movie night. Come over when you’re finished closing The Barkery. I’ll make popcorn, and we’ll just veg. Sound good?”

  “Sounds amazing!” Hannah said, her sour mood reversing in an instant.

  “Great! See you soon, babe.”

  Once she ended the call, Rebecca closed her eyes and let her mind wander back to the previous night. Let herself relive that kiss over and over again. His tongue. His hands. That knee he’d wedged between her thighs. She hummed and squirmed beneath the sheets. Get the giddy out, she told herself. This has to be enough for the next four weeks. At least.

  “We kissed.”

  “And?”

  Will rolled his eyes at his phone. “And what, Joey? That’s it. That’s huge for us.”

  “Jesus, dude. Snails move faster than you.”

  He casually flipped through the channels on TV from his reclined position on the couch, the volume muted. He’d just driven back from the city where he’d spent four days in a Rebecca-induced euphoria. Thankfully, he’d had assignments to keep him busy over the weekend, but he’d daydreamed the past two days at college away. “It’s not your typical situation. She’s cautious, with good reason. But she’s finally letting her guard down with me. Rebecca’s actually the one who initiated things.”

  “So, what does that mean?” Joey asked. “You get to carry her books to school? She wears your letterman jacket?”

  Ignoring his brother’s mocking jab, he thought about how things might go tomorrow, when he returned to KHS. Would she be distant or more flirtatious? They obviously wouldn’t be having any repeat performances of their actions in the hallway, but would she be open to it outside of school? Was she as anxious as he was to explore the off-the-charts chemistry they’d unearthed Friday night? “I honestly don’t know, man. I’m just hoping she doesn’t freeze me out now that she’s had a few days to think about it.”

  He’d set himself up perfectly for another burn, but Joey surprised him by attacking from another angle. “What’s the plan for your second practicum?”

  Another question he didn’t have a concrete answer to. “I dunno.”

  “I thought Dad secured you a placement.”

  “I think he’s working on it. I’ll be here another month on my current practicum, and my lease doesn’t expire till the end of December.”

  Joey was silent for several beats. “If you start something with her, you better think about the logistics, bro. You obviously care about her. Don’t get her hopes up if you don’t intend to stick around.”

  He could tell Joey about Patrick’s offer, that he’d been given the option to stay for his second practicum at Kendal High. But what would be the point in sharing such information? They both knew that the moment he’d asked their father for a donation, he’d become a pawn in his machinations. “I’d better go. I need to do some prep work before tomorrow. I’ll see you next week.”

  “Take it easy, Will. Good luck.”

  He clicked off his phone and slid his arms behind his head. Joey was right. It wasn’t fair to lead Rebecca on. But couldn’t they make things work whether he stayed or not? Christ, there was no way in hell he could go on pretending that he didn’t want her. Not just her body. Her heart.

  He’d worry about the logistics later.

  By Wednesday morning, Rebecca felt confident she’d fully purged herself of the giddies. She wore her professional face and strode into the PE office, determined to keep any lustful thoughts tucked way far away from her conscious mind.

  And then Will looked up from the clipboard he held, and he stared at her with those I-kissed-you eyes, and an absolutely idiotic grin split her face.

  So much for the calm, cool, and collected idea.

  Even Berg, who tended to be fairly unobservant about such things, glanced curiously between the two of them. To avoid any further embarrassment, she only stayed long enough to grab her stack of photocopies and a change of clothes, then ducked back out again.

  She hurried down the hall, past the kissing zone, and threw on her gym clothes in the staff changeroom before bolting upstairs. It’s just Will, she told her hammering heart. He’s still the same, I’m still the same. Nothing is different.

  Except everything was different.

  “Pull yourself together, woman!” she said upon entering what she suspected would be an empty weight room.

  Margaret shot her a concerned look from where she wiped down her stationary bike. “And good morning to you, too, sweet talker.”

  “Hey, Mags. Sorry. I didn’t know anyone was in here.” She dropped her stack of photocopies on the desk at the front of the room, then joined Margaret.

  “What do we need to pull ourselves together for?” Margaret gazed up at the ceiling and pressed her index finger to her chin in feigned ignorance. “Hmm, let me see. It’s Wednesday, which isn’t really different from any other day, other than the addition of a handsome blond who couldn’t keep his eyes off you at the dance. Could that be it?”

  Rebecca said nothing in response. She didn’t have to. Her burning cheeks gave her away.

  Margaret threw her towel over her shoulder and smiled triumphantly. “Thought so. Did things heat up beyond those smoldering looks?”

  Pressing her palm to her forehead, Rebecca weighed the pros and cons of confessing. Margaret would keep things confidential—that’s not what she was concerned about. The inevitable gloating was her primary concern. “We kissed,” she murmured.

  Margaret’s eyes became saucers, and she squeezed Rebecca’s arm. “Oh, honey! That’s wonderful!”

  “Is it? Because it feels like a colossal mistake to me. How am I supposed to work with him now and pretend it never happened?”

  “Why do we have to pretend it never happened?”

  “Um, he’s still on his practicum, and it’s unprofessional and just . . . bad!”

  Margaret laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not breaking any rules.” She guzzled some water from her squeezable bottle. “This is the last month of his practicum, right?”

  “Yes,” Rebecca said, fidgeting nervously with her hands. She walked back to the desk and began sorting her stack of photocopies into smaller piles.

  Margaret followed her to the front of the room and rested a hand on hers to still them. “Make the most of it, sweets. Have fun with him. Don’t punish yourself for acting on your feelings.”

  Rebecca nodded and, as always, took her mentor’s advice to heart. In the grand scheme of things, though their actions had been negligent, the kiss had been damn near expert-level perfect, and if she could go back, she’d do it all over again. Her need had necessitated the deed. So, she’d stop criticizing herself and rejoice in the fact that she’d experienced the greatest kiss of all the kisses she’d received in her thirty-five years on the planet.

  “By the way, how was it?” Margaret asked, her eyebrows raised.

  Rebecca smirked at her friend’s psychic radar. “The bell’s gonna ring . . .”

  “Trying to get rid of me again, huh? I want details later, missy.”

  She let Margaret walk as far as the door before she said, “Best I ever had.”

  The older woman grinned. “Well, I’ll live on that juicy nugget for the rest of the day.”

  First period passed by in a fog of bliss. Her senior students had commented, more than once, about the goofy smile glued her face while she demonstrated the abdominal exercises. They couldn’t understand why anyone would enjoy ‘tummy-tightening training’ so much, or the fact that she’d used the cheesy alliterative descriptor in the first place.

  Aside from Will, she’d also been happy to see Jenna and Ryley show up for the third straight day in a row. The two girls
had only completed about half of the exercises on the list, but she celebrated them being there and praised them for their flawless attendance. She’d given them a fresh start, and they were wise enough to take her up on the offer.

  She met her ninth-grade girls class outside the changeroom downstairs so they could take a run before hitting the weight room. Twenty minutes later, when they entered the room . . . it wasn’t empty. She took two steps inside and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Will. Lying on his back. Bench pressing a shit ton of weight. Turning to her girls to keep from gawking, she directed them to the mats near the front of the room and said she’d be right back.

  Will sat up as she walked toward him. “Sorry,” he said. Perspiration rolled down his forehead and stained the vee of his T-shirt. “I didn’t know anyone would be in here.” He lifted the hem of his shirt to mop the sweat from his face.

  Holy abs, Batman. “There’s a schedule outside the door,” she replied, staring at the sculpted six-pack that he hadn’t hurried to cover. When she finally tore her gaze away, since he’d been kind enough to conceal his carved-from-granite torso, he wore a cocky smile.

  “I can leave.”

  “It’s fine.” He nodded, and she tried to remember why she was in there in the first place. Oh, yeah. Her class. She should totally go and teach them. “We’ll be on the mats at the front. Have a good workout,” she said breathily before departing, hating the sound of her voice.

  Rejoining her girls, she completed a series of fitness tests with them while sneaking glances at Will. She had a feeling he prolonged his workout just to continue torturing her. She wanted to scold him for not using a spotter, or volunteer for the position herself, but that wouldn’t be happening anywhere outside of her imagination. The girls were in the midst of a timed plank when Will finally left, and since she’d apparently lost the filter that separated inner thoughts from outer ones, she blurted, “There goes the eye candy.”

  All thirteen girls collapsed into a fit of giggles. Once the humiliation had passed, Rebecca tried to shrug it off, but the far-too-astute fourteen-year-olds weren’t buying it. So she tried a different tactic. “Girls, he can never know what I said, okay? Boys are already way too full of themselves. Let’s keep it on the DL, or whatever you kids say these days. Deal?”

  “What’s in it for us?” Kelsey, a self-assured redhead, asked.

  Teens were too cunning for their own good. “If you girls promise to keep what I said a secret, I promise to give you a pizza party at the end of the semester. How’s that?”

  They cheered in agreement, and she naively assumed their verbal contract was as good as gold. But then Will returned to retrieve his forgotten towel from the back of the room, and Kelsey and her two partners in crime, Robin and Christine, rushed him and ratted her out.

  “Miss Ledgerwood thinks you’re eye candy!” she heard them exclaim in unison.

  Will turned his big head her way and fixed her with a smug, sexy gaze. She prayed the floor would open up and swallow her. Or that her face would stop burning like a five-alarm fire. “Go get changed!” she teasingly barked at her girls. “And the pizza party is cancelled.”

  The teens giggled some more, knowing that she’d eventually give in and change her mind, but right now they were completely in the doghouse. They grabbed their water bottles and notebooks and skipped out of the room. Rebecca busied herself gathering the remaining handouts on her desk, not glancing up until Will was within a breath of her. “Fourteen-year-old girls are traitors,” she mumbled.

  Will ran a hand through his hair, as if he realized the sparks that gesture lit inside her, and chuckled. “I’ll have to thank them later.”

  He stood way too close, and she needed to get away from him before they ended up in another compromising position. Plus, she had to catch up to her traitorous troop in the gym. “I better go,” she said. “I’ll see you later.” She slipped around the desk and made it through the door without incident.

  “There goes the eye candy,” she heard him say behind her.

  And she grinned all the way downstairs.

  18

  Will wasn’t sure how they’d made it through the rest of the week without devouring each other. Then again, he’d had his hands full grading health assignments, organizing a science lab, and putting together a Pete-approved volleyball unit for each of his PE classes. Oh, and assistant coaching at basketball practices. He hoped—prayed—come Friday, she’d throw him a bone and suggest spending time together, but . . . no dice. He’d driven back to the city in a funk.

  A new week brought a new attitude. Surely, she didn’t plan on shutting him down forever. He assumed this was the way things had to be until his practicum ended. And it wasn’t deprivation. Just another challenge he intended to accept and conquer. He had an internal countdown in his head, ticking away day by day. Three weeks equaled twenty-one days, but he’d only be working with her for nine of those twenty-one days. Nine days of not touching Rebecca. And ten days until he could. Or so he let himself believe.

  He wanted to make certain they were on the same wavelength, but he didn’t get a chance to talk to her during the school day on Wednesday, and he rushed to the gym at three o’clock for practice.

  The basketball season kicked off in two weeks, so the boys were practicing five days a week. Pete had given Will more of the spotlight and allowed him to run some drills with the guys. He and Ryan worked one-on-one to refine the few weaker parts of his game, and they’d developed a camaraderie that had taken him by surprise. A bond that Ryan held up in class, too, which made the other guys take notice. Purnsey was a natural-born leader, and Will now understood how important it was to have him on his side.

  Like most practices Will attended, he and Ryan stayed after for fifteen or twenty minutes to shoot around and shoot the breeze.

  “You’re gonna keep coaching us when you’re done your teaching placement, right?”

  Will bounce-passed Ryan the ball and laughed when he backwards-dunked it with ease. “I can help out till the end of December,” he said.

  Ryan tossed him the ball, and Will stepped behind the three-point arc to fire, the same shot he’d taken and missed when he and Rebecca had played H-O-R-S-E. This time, it swished through the net.

  “What happens after that?” Ryan asked, rebounding the ball and passing it back to Will.

  He shot again from the same spot and hit the target. “I start my next placement.” He didn’t know exactly where that would be yet, but he suspected his father would make that declaration on Friday at their monthly family dinner.

  Ryan fed him the ball again. Schoolyard basketball etiquette stated that you had to keep serving the ball to the hot hand until he missed a shot. It was a respect thing. And earning respect from the kid who walked out of his class on his first day of teaching within five minutes of class starting was no small feat. Will sank his shot a third time.

  “You gonna let me play, man?” the senior joked. He dribbled between his legs and faked a shot before passing to Will once more.

  Will took a step back and kept the weight the same; the ball fell just shy of the target.

  Ryan gave him a look that said he wasn’t falling for it. “You serious, bro? You missed on purpose.”

  Will smiled at being caught. “I didn’t want you to get cold standing around watching me sink buckets all night.” He waved for the ball back, but Ryan wouldn’t give it up.

  “Nope. You’re gonna have to steal it off me now.”

  Will hiked up his shorts and attempted to play D on a kid who had at least five inches on him. They usually played half-court till someone got to five points—one point per basket. In all the occasions they’d battled it out, Will hadn’t scored more than three points against the senior. Tonight, he had to settle for one.

  Will returned the ball to the equipment room and locked up. He’d brought a sports drink for Ryan, and cracked one open for himself, too.

  Ryan drained half the bottle, then hit him w
ith the toughest question of all. “You ever gonna come back here after you leave in December?”

  The vulnerability in the teenager’s voice tore at his heart. What could he say? He didn’t want to lie to the kid because he’d see right through it. So, he gave him the best he could. “I’m not so far away that I can’t visit. Maybe I’ll catch a game or two if you guys make the playoffs.”

  “If?” Ryan argued. “You better be there, sir. Front row, championship game. I’ll kiss the trophy for ya.”

  Will chuckled. “All right, buddy. You’re on.” They bumped fists to seal the deal.

  Ryan, still with energy to burn, sprinted off to shower and change. Will leaned against the wall. He’d wait for Ryan so they could walk out together. Pulling his phone from his pocket, his head jerked up at the sound of a throat being cleared from the open doorway.

  Rebecca entered the gym, smiling all the way towards him, and his heart thudded with every step she took. “Hey.”

  He jammed his phone back into his pocket, pushed off the wall, and met her halfway. “Hey. I’m glad you’re still here.”

  “I had a meeting with the student council,” she explained. “Looks like another successful practice, Coach. You two have developed quite a bond.”

  “Yeah,” Will agreed. “He’s a special kid.”

  “Who doesn’t warm up to just anyone,” she pointed out. “He grew up in foster care.”

  “Oh, wow. I didn’t know.” No wonder the kid was so guarded. And he’d not only let Will into his inner circle, he’d invited him to continue to be a part of it.

  “Not something he likes advertised, but this is big, Will.”

  The glowing admiration on her face produced a warm, buzzing sensation in his gut and tugged his lips into a smile. She mirrored his reaction, her cheeks flushing as the silence stretched on and his eyes took a detour to her mouth.

  “Quit it,” she whispered.

  “Quit what?” he asked, inching forward.