Deirdre stood up and snatched her blouse off the floor.
“Um... I think I’d better leave the two of you alone.”
She didn’t meet Valerie’s eyes, and tried to sneak out past her—but Valerie had no intention of letting her off the hook so easily. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around Deirdre’s bare forearm. The nurse froze.
“I hope you weren’t supposed to be working now.” She kept her tone steady, even though she wanted to scream her head off. “I’ll check with the head nurse before I go home. If you were on duty, I’ll speak to the manager and report your unprofessional behavior.”
Deirdre hung her head, and as soon as Valerie released her hold, she scurried away, leaving her alone with Jake.
He stood up and buttoned his pants, but didn’t bother putting on his T-shirt.
“Valerie.”
He reached out his hand, but she took a step back, raising her hands in front of her. Seeing his bare, muscular chest didn’t help her think straight. If she hadn’t walked in on him and Deirdre, in a few hours she would have probably been tracing her fingers along those defined pecs and abs. Her stomach twisted and she swallowed the bile.
Only a few minutes earlier she’d been planning their romantic night down to the smallest detail—now all she wanted to do was smash his head with her bag and yell at him so loudly anyone within a five-mile radius would hear her.
Jake waited in silence for her to make the first step, but she didn’t move. She didn’t even say a word. She only wanted to close her eyes, turn back the hands of time to before they’d met—before she’d let him worm his way into her life and, slowly, into her heart. She wished she’d never trusted him.
Eventually, Jake took her hand and pulled her close. She pushed against his chest and freed herself. It would be so easy to let his charm and the safety of his arms around her remind her how good she’d felt when he held her and whispered sweet words between kisses.
“Don’t touch me!”
He flinched at her tone and took a step back, putting more space between them. Good.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen; I was stupid. I’m sorry, baby,” he said, his tone slightly apologetic. Valerie refused to let him weave his spell on her and shook her head, while she stared at her feet to avoid meeting his eyes.
Doubt reared its ugly head and questions exploded in her head. Was he playing yet another part now or was he really sorry for what he’d done? Had he always been lying to her? Had this happened before? She needed to know, yet she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Maybe it would be best if she just slapped him and walked away, without knowing the whole truth. No. She had to know.
“How long has this been going on, Jake? How many times has this happened before? And don’t bother lying to me now because it’d be useless.”
“This is the first time, I swear. It never happened before.”
She wasn’t sure she could trust him, then again, did it really matter now? As much as she was attracted to him, as much as she’d enjoyed spending time with him and being on the receiving end of his flattering attentions, it made no difference now—she could never in a million years forgive him for cheating on her. She’d never be able to trust him again—and wasn’t trust one of the most important things in a relationship?
Jake reached out for her again and she took another step back. He hung his head and scratched the back of his neck.
“C’mon, Valerie, what was I supposed to do? I’m a man—making out is fine for a while, but after four months you wouldn’t even let me take your shirt off. I get it I’d be your first, but at this rate, we’d be old before you even let me get to second base.” He let out an annoyed huff. Valerie’s heart broke a little, but she fought back the tears. “There’s nothing going on with Deirdre, I swear. I know she has a thing for me and she was always throwing sexual innuendos at me, so I thought there’d be nothing wrong in taking what she was offering. You know, only until you were ready to go further.”
Valerie recoiled as if he’d just punched her in her face. A sickening knot tangled her stomach, and she wanted to vomit—or, by the way her legs had started shaking, she was probably going to faint.
But she didn’t. Her body, on autopilot again, took control of the situation, and before she realized what she was doing, her hand connected with his cheek, tingles of pain radiating on her palm.
Jake winced and stood frozen in place for a moment. When his eyes connected with hers, tears blurred her vision.
“You thought it’d be okay if you slept with someone else as long as I didn’t know? Is this your idea of a relationship?”
For a heartbeat, Jake looked truly apologetic, as his shoulders drooped and he broke eye-contact. When he looked up from the floor and into her eyes again, though, the look was gone.
“You weren’t supposed to find out. It was just sex, plain and simple—men don’t have trouble in separating feelings from sex. Unlike women.”
“Get out of my life,” she said through gritted teeth, her hand squeezing the phone so hard she thought she’d crush it. It was either the phone or his neck—and she wouldn’t go to jail for breaking an electronic device. “I never want to see you or hear from you again. Ever. I don’t know how you’ve managed to play the part so well, but I’ll never let you fool me again.”
He rolled his eyes—seriously, he rolled his eyes?! He deserved an Academy Award for his five-star performance because in the four months they’d been together she’d never seen his true colors. What a fool.
“Valerie, don’t be melodramatic, now. We can work this out, start over.”
She bent and picked his T-shirt off the floor, just to keep from slapping him again. She squeezed it in her fist, then threw it at him.
“There’d be no such thing as starting over. You’re going to willingly leave this hospital and find a job somewhere else—in Boston or Cape Town, I don’t care.”
“Hey, wait a minute. There’s no reason to take such extreme measures. I don’t want to quit my job.”
He took a step forward, and she took one back, ending up with her back against the swinging doors.
“You will, Jake. Or I’ll have you fired.” She quirked an eyebrow and gave him a defiant look. “How do you think the hospital manager would like to know that the two of you were having fun in the toilets during working hours?”
“You’re being unnecessarily mean.” His tone was a little less sweet now, and had taken on an annoyed edge. “We’re good together, and she means nothing to me. She was just a fling.”
“A fling?” she asked, glaring at him. “Was I just another name on your list of flings?”
“She was, but you weren’t. I really liked you—I still do. Can’t we simply get over it and pretend nothing happened?”
He reached out his hand again to take hers, but she snatched it away.
“Stay away from me, Jake. I don’t want to have anything to do with you ever again. I’m too busy to waste time with someone like you.”
She looked at him. The man standing in front of her was a stranger. She’d trusted him with her heart and he’d all but thrown it back at her. All he’d wanted was to get inside her pants, probably to brag with his colleagues that he’d had a fling with a doctor, instead of the usual nurse.
He hung his head and inhaled deeply before giving her a defeated stare. Valerie didn’t know whether this was part of his pantomime or he really felt bad about what he’d done. She didn’t care either way.
She was done with him, done with men and whatever could steer her attention from her career. She’d worked hard to get to where she was, and she still had a ways to go—she would never let another playboy spoil it all.
“So that’s it, then? It’s over, just like that?”
“I’m not even sure there ever was something between us. It all seems like a big bunch of lies to me now.” She shrugged and hugged her bag to her chest, hoping it would be enough to fill the hole that had suddenly cracked open inside her.
“But it wasn’t, Valerie. I really liked you.”
“Stop it.” She raised a hand in front of him as he took a tentative step toward her. Enough was enough. “I don’t care whether you liked me, you loved me, or you simply wanted to add another notch to your bedpost. I don’t feel anything but rage and disgust right now. Just make it easy on both of us and leave. It won’t be hard for you to find another job in another hospital.”
She bit on her bottom lip, took a long, steadying breath and spun on her heels, storming out of the room as if the hounds of hell were after her.
Chapter 21
I should have seen it coming. I should have known it would end up like this.
She hurried down the corridors toward the closest exit, desperately needing to breathe fresh air. The smell of disinfectant she’d become so used to now made her sick. A sense of claustrophobia took hold of her, and she took deep breaths as if she was starved of oxygen.
Somebody greeted her, but she didn’t stop nor did she acknowledge who it was—she just pressed on, yearning for one thing only: to get lost in Ryan’s arms.
I should have seen it coming. I should have known it would end up like this.
The words played on a loop in her mind, as she cursed herself for being so naïve. The fact that Jake was constantly surrounded by adoring women, should’ve opened her eyes long before she got tangled in his web. She’d been such a fool.
How could she really expect that a handsome and popular guy like him would sit back and twiddle his thumbs while she pondered whether or not she was ready to give him not only her heart but her body, in a sort of package deal reserved only for one special man.
Stupid fairy tales.
She had no idea how she managed to reach Ryan’s apartment, considering the state she was in, but as soon as she rang the doorbell and heard his voice, she knew things were going to be all right.
Ryan had spent the late morning and early afternoon at his piano, working on a new song he meant to play in his next show. When the doorbell rang, he stood from the piano, stretched and checked his watch. Valerie had had a morning shift—hopefully she’d stopped by for a cup of tea before going home.
He missed spending time with her.
He’d been the one to persuade to go out with Jake, and he was happy they’d clicked and she was dating him, but Ryan hadn’t considered that, between her shifts and his schedule, another person in the picture would steal away precious time. Jennifer wasn’t a problem, since she was hardly ever back in Boston, now that her modeling career had skyrocketed—mainly because of her name being associated with his—but bringing Jake into the equation had reduced the time Valerie could spend with Ryan.
When he heard the desperation in her tone through the intercom, he buzzed her in and rushed down the two flights of stairs.
“Val, what—”
“Jake’s an idiot,” she cried, throwing herself into his arms. A chill flowed through him as he wrapped his arms around her shaking body and brushed a hand on the small of her back.
“Shh, calm down. I’m here.” He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and pulled back, keeping an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go upstairs. I’ll make you a cup of tea and you can tell me everything, okay?”
She nodded and sniffed, holding onto Ryan’s body as if her whole life depended on him, as she followed him into the elevator.
She didn’t say a word until they reached Ryan’s apartment and he’d locked the door behind him. From what she’d said when she’d flung herself at him, he’d guessed it was about Jake—he was sure he wasn’t going to like what she was about to tell him. Nevertheless, he put on an encouraging smile and led her to the couch. She kicked off her shoes, plopped down and hugged her knees. He put his arm around her and she snuggled against him, her head on his shoulder.
Just like the good old times.
“Short version: I found Jake half naked with a nurse straddling him in the staff restroom,” she blurted out. Her voice cracked and she wiped away a tear with the back of her hand, inhaling deeply before going on. “If I hadn’t got my finger stuck in the locker door while I was trying to call you, I would’ve never found out and right now I’d be at home, setting up a romantic night. I guess you involuntarily saved me from making the worst mistake of my life.”
The guy must have a death wish. Ryan wanted to run out the door, find him and kick his ass until he begged for mercy. He’d never wanted to beat someone so badly in his whole life. Not even when Kevin had acted silly with Val when they spent Christmas at his place in Maine—all it had taken was a warning and a glower from Ryan, and Kevin had stepped back and let her be.
But right now, as he was holding Valerie, all he could think of was how much he wanted to hurt the bastard who’d caused her so much pain.
“He’s just a jerk,” he said, rubbing her shoulder with his right hand and brushing away a lock of golden hair from her face with his left. Much as he’d always wanted to protect Valerie from all the losers, he’d been the one who’d pushed her into Jake’s arms. Damn, if only he’d known what kind of person the guy was, Ryan would have never pushed her to go out with him in the first place. He would’ve turned into her knight in shining armor once again, and would’ve protected her the way he’d done in the past.
“No sane man would want to lose someone like you. Good thing you’ve seen his true colors now and spared yourself further pain. You’re better off without him, trust me.”
Valerie sobbed and snuggled into his chest, her arm going around his waist.
“I should’ve known better,” she whispered into his sweater, her voice hoarse from crying. “I wanted to believe that Prince Charming exists, but I’ve been a fool—a fool and a dreamer. There’s no Prince Charming, and men are all after one thing, and one thing only.”
“Don’t chastise yourself for wanting to believe in love—there’s nothing wrong with that,” Ryan said sweetly. She let out a sob. “He was a fool, but not all men are the same. Prince Charming exists—only, it wasn’t him.”
He kissed her hair and rested his chin on her head, while he rubbed her shoulder.
“You’ll find your Prince Charming one day, Val. I know there’s a man out there who’s looking for a wonderful woman like you. One day your paths will cross and you’ll have your happily-ever-after.”
She chuckled, but there was no humor in it—only sad resignation. “Yeah, right. I guess I’ve made you watch too many chick-flicks, buddy.”
Ryan pushed her back just enough to lock his gaze with hers. Her red-rimmed, aquamarine eyes widened slightly at the frown on his face.
“You’re a wonderful person, Val. He was too stupid to see it, but don’t underestimate yourself. You deserve only the best.”
Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over. He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ryan,” she said through hiccups, encircling his waist with her arms and resting her head against his chest again. She’d always loved leaning against him like this, whenever they watched a movie or just chilled out on the couch listening to music—she said his heartbeat soothed her nerves.
“You’d be a mess, no doubt.”
Valerie laughed, this time a real laugh with no traces of sadness. Everything would be okay as long as they had each other—he knew it.
Valerie’s breathing grew even and steady as the sobs subsided, and soon her body relaxed against him, indicating she’d fallen asleep. He smiled as he disentangled himself and laid her down with her head on the scatter cushions she’d insisted he buy.
Nine years ago, after that chat with Kevin, he’d promised himself he’d always make sure no man would ever hurt Valerie—and yet he’d been the one to persuade her to date Jake. He’d never let anyone else get close to her ever again unless the guy had passed a thorough test, including an interrogation he’d be personally carrying out. Crazy or not, he’d never let anyone hurt Va
lerie again.
Chapter 22
*** Nine years earlier ***
Snow had fallen early on Boston that year, so Ryan and Valerie had agreed they wouldn’t go home for the holidays. Besides, Valerie would have a tough exam soon after Christmas break and she didn’t think she’d do much studying if she went home.
Even though he missed his family, Ryan didn’t mind staying in Boston and spending Christmas Day with Valerie, either at her campus or at Berklee. He knew some students in his college wouldn’t be going home either; maybe they could throw a party and celebrate together, “just like the time Harry Potter spent Christmas at Hogwarts”, in Valerie’s words.
A week before Christmas, before Ryan had managed to speak to the dean to ask for permission to celebrate Christmas Day on the school premises, Kevin invited him and Valerie to his family’s mansion in Maine, not far from Portland.
“There’s no reason why you two should be celebrating all alone, when you could be having a family dinner, in true American style. The house’s big enough and Mom’s a great cook,” Kevin said while they were in their room, playing an action game on his PlayStation. It was too cold to go out and Val had informed him she’d be spending the night with her nose stuck in a textbook, so Ryan had joined Kevin’s game night even though he wasn’t a fan of this particular game.
“But hey, the invitation’s for you and Valerie. If she’s not coming with you, you can save yourself the trip to Maine.”
He winked and the grin he gave Ryan was enough to show his real intentions. Ryan rolled his eyes, wishing Kevin would stop being such an idiot.
“Valerie is off-limits, Kev,” he warned, with a glower. “Keep your hands off her if you want to keep all your vital parts intact.”
Kevin chuckled and slumped down on his bed, controller in hand.
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