A Love Melody

by Grace Roberts

  She smiled, even as her eyes grew a little moist. “So will you.”

  “Right, okay, change of subject. All these mushy talks are making me sick now.” He scrunched up his nose and she laughed. “Have you seen any nice guys on your campus, yet?”

  “I’ve only been here three days!” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve barely had time to sleep off the jet-lag. I didn’t really have time to check out guys.”

  “Well, you should though,” he said, seriously. “You gotta find a nice guy to play doctor with when classes start. Isn’t that what medical students do?”

  “Ryan!” She pulled her hand away from his and slapped him arm. “Do you have to be such a guy?”

  He chuckled, and lifted a shoulder. “I am a guy, if you hadn’t noticed. You should’ve picked a girl as your best friend if you didn’t want to get such comments.”

  “Yeah, I guess I should have.” She let out an over-dramatic sigh and shook her head. “But it’s too late now. You know too many secrets—I’d have to kill you.”

  “Well, then I hope I’ll never be on your operating table.”

  They laughed and for the first time in two long years, Valerie felt at ease with the world, at peace with herself, and truly happy again.

  An hour and two muffins later, Ryan took her to Berklee, and a sense of déjà vu hit her as she looked at the building she’d seen three and a half years before, when they’d walked through that same door, full of expectations and dreams on the day of his audition.

  Ryan took Valerie’s hand while he showed her around, and she tried to ignore the way the few students they met stared at her. When they reached his room, it felt unusual to see another person in it. Ryan, being the youngest, had had his own room back home in Dublin, so they’d always been alone in it—even though his parents requested that the door stay open at all time. It would never be the same now because he had a roommate and so did she, and they would never be alone again.

  “Val, this is my roommate, Kevin. You’re gonna hear the world talk about him soon.” He winked at her, and Kevin chuckled. “Kev, this is Valerie, my—”

  “Your best friend from Dublin, yeah, I know. I’ve spent the last two years hearing her name.” He stood up and reached out for her hand, curtsying dramatically. “Welcome to Boston, Valerie. It’s a real honor to meet you at last. I feel like I’ve known you all my life.”

  He gave her a cheeky grin and Valerie’s cheeks heated. She’d always been clumsy around guys, but she’d never really worried too much since they’d never looked at her twice—or tried to get close to her, since Ryan was always with her. This had to be the first time a boy who wasn’t Ryan had smiled and flirted with her. She was pathetic.

  Ryan gave him a playful shove and Kevin plopped on his bed.

  “Don’t mind him, Val. He’s just a show-off.”

  Kevin chuckled and picked up a book, pretending to concentrate on whatever it was he was studying. As Valerie turned back, taking in the room, and her eyes landed on him, Kevin looked over the rim of his book and winked. She looked away, with her cheeks on fire.

  She might not be an expert on guys, but she wasn’t blind. He was handsome, with green eyes and wavy, dark blond hair tucked behind his ears. So far, she’d met only a few American boys at school, but they all looked gorgeous to her. Maybe it was because they were totally different from the Irish beauty standards she was used to, or maybe it was because they had this unfamiliar accent, which made them all seem kind of exotic to her.

  “Come, I’ll show you the rest.” Ryan interrupted her train of thought, leading her out of the room. Just before he closed the door behind them, Kevin shouted, “See ya soon, Val!”

  “Show-off!” Ryan shouted back, before closing the door. Laughter reached them from behind the closed door. He shrugged and smiled at Valerie. “He’s fun, though. He’s an artist, so he’s a bit of a weirdo sometimes, but he really makes me laugh. I’m sure he’ll stop acting like a jerk after he’s gotten used to having you around.”

  “Having me around? You mean I can come over again?”

  “Why wouldn’t you? I mean, you’ve come all the way to Boston just so we could be together again, and you thought I wouldn’t want to see you?” He frowned, then wrapped his arms around her. “You’re silly, you know? Of course you can come over any time you want. When you’re not busy studying, that is.”

  “I thought that maybe... you know... we’ve been apart for so long, we’ve grown up, and you have new friends here. I thought you wouldn’t want to be spending as much time together as we used to.”

  He pulled back a little and stared at her. His hazel eyes narrowed a little and held hers for three long seconds before his face cracked into a sweet smile, something completely different from his trademark lopsided grin. The warmth in his eyes reflected the warmth she was feeling in her chest.

  “Nothing’s changed for me, Val. You’re still my best friend, you always will be. I still want to spend time with you, just like we did in Dublin. But you’re right: we probably won’t be spending as much time together as we used to ’cause we’ll be busy studying—especially you, Doc.” Valerie smiled, and he kissed her forehead. “But I’ll always want to spend time with you, Val. No matter how busy we are, we’ll find a way to keep our friendship as strong as ever. We made it with the ocean between us, and we can make it now that we’re only a few blocks away. It’s a promise.”

  She nodded, and he pulled her back into the safety of his arms.

  “Ready to finish the tour, now?”

  Ryan took her hand again and showed her the common rooms and the rest of the school. Then they left the building and, as they strolled happily down the roads, she thought the world looked so much better when Ryan was with her.

  Chapter 28

  *** Present day ***

  Valerie had been awake longer than twenty-four hours by now, and was functioning on gallons of coffee, energy snacks from the vending machine, and the sandwiches Karen forced her to eat. She’d been on the night shift again, and when Doctor Tyler had come in to start the morning shift, he told her to go get some sleep. Instead, she’d gulped down another cup of coffee and had gone to sit by Ryan’s bed.

  As minutes ticked by, her eyelids grew heavy as fatigue took over. She pinched her cheek a couple of times to stay awake, but it didn’t work. Seeing Ryan sleeping so peacefully only made her more tired, so in the end she gave in and rested her head on his chest, its rhythmic movement as he breathed lulling her to sleep.

  The sound of the machine beeping loudly jarred her out of her peaceful sleep, and it took her only a second to realize what was happening.

  His heart had stopped beating.

  Again, like in the operating room three nights before.

  She wasn’t going to lose him; she was a doctor, her job was to save lives, and she was going to save Ryan’s life.

  “Ryan,” she shouted, while she rhythmically pressed her hands on his chest to restart his heart. “Ryan, I know you can hear me. Please don’t give in. Please don’t leave me now.”

  The door opened and Doctor Tyler came in pushing the emergency trolley with the defibrillator—their last chance to save Ryan.

  “How long have you been doing that?” he asked her, switching on the machine and holding out the plates so that the nurse could put gel on them.

  “About ten seconds, as soon as the alarm went off.”

  “Move aside, Valerie.”

  She took a step back but stayed close to his bed. She wasn’t going to leave him.

  “Clear,” Doctor Tyler said, before releasing the electrical shock on Ryan’s chest. His body rocked, but the sound of the machine didn’t change.

  “Okay, charge it to two hundred,” he told the nurse, and a second later he tried again. Ryan’s chest lifted from the bed, but nothing changed.

  A sudden sense of desperation overwhelmed her, clouding her mind. She knew where this was going: Doctor Tyler would try a third time, but if Ryan’s heart didn’t
start beating then, he’d ask the nurse to switch the machine off and declare the time of death.

  No, she couldn’t let that happen—she couldn’t lose her best friend. In medical school and during residency they taught you how to be professional and practical, how to make quick decisions in the blink of an eye, but they didn’t teach you how to act when the patient was your family, when your decisions and your actions would change not only the patient’s life, but yours too.

  “Ryan, Ryan!” She bent and pleaded close to his ear. “Please stay with me, please stay with me now, come back from wherever you’re going.”

  She knew she probably sounded like a lunatic to Doctor Tyler and to the nurse, but she couldn’t just leave anything untried, not if Ryan’s life depended on it. If he could hear her, if he heard her plea and the desperation in her voice, he’d come back. She knew he’d never want to willingly hurt her.

  “Charge to three hundred,” Doctor Tyler ordered. Valerie took a step back, and closed her eyes, praying God would listen to her. “Clear.”

  He gave the third electrical shock, and they all looked at the screen, waiting for the sound to change from an uninterrupted to a rhythmical beep—the sound of Ryan’s heart.

  Valerie took Ryan’s hand and squeezed, as if to transfer some of her life into his body. Doctor Tyler hung his head and checked his watch to declare the time of death. Just then, the sound of the machine changed, and his head whipped up, his eyes widening.

  “He’s back!” His tone was shocked as he checked the data on the monitor. “Your friend’s one hell of a lucky guy, Valerie.”

  Valerie smiled through the tears and bent down to kiss his cheek. She stroked his brow and Ryan’s eyes fluttered open. It took him only a couple of seconds to understand there was something stuck in his throat, and his eyes widened in panic. He reached for the tube to remove it, his eyes wild with fear, gasping for air.

  She stopped him and expertly pulled the tube out of his throat, then stepped aside to let Doctor Tyler put an oxygen mask to Ryan’s mouth.

  “You’re gonna be okay, now. It’s all over.”

  He looked at her, his hazel eyes darker than usual and still a little bewildered. A moment later he gave her a crooked smile from under the oxygen mask and closed his eyes, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

  Chapter 29

  It felt as if he had been on a long, exhausting journey. Had he been touring Europe, or was it the States? Maybe it was Canada. He couldn’t remember anymore. All he was sure of was that he was exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept for days.

  He’d been dreaming. It had been a weird dream. It had felt like flying in the sky, high above the clouds. He was skipping from one cloud to the other, totally careless and free. Man, had it felt good. He could still remember the feeling of freedom, of pure contentment. He hadn’t felt like that in ages; he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d felt like that.

  Actually, he could. It had been ages ago, before he became famous, before he started traveling around the world, before he became a celebrity. It was a late October afternoon, and he’d been strolling in St. Stephen’s Green park in Dublin with Valerie, talking about their dreams and what the future would hold for the two of them. They’d made so many plans, and each and every plan included the two of them together. They just couldn’t picture a life in which they weren’t together. Back then it had seemed that everything was possible, that whatever lay ahead for them would be perfect as long as they had each other, as long as their friendship existed.

  But it had all gone wrong, it had all turned out to be just some kids’ fantasies, and soon they’d parted and had started living two separate lives. Good as they were, lucky as they’d been, they were nothing like they’d planned back then.

  Indeed, he had never again felt like he had on that October afternoon—yet he’d felt that way in that dream. It was so good, he didn’t want to wake up. He didn’t want to go back to that hectic routine. Yes, music was his life, it had always been, but he’d never wanted it to take everything he had. He hardly ever saw his family, he didn’t have friends other than Kevin and Valerie, and he had risked losing his best friend, since he was always too busy traveling around the world to find some time for her.

  Okay, he had a girlfriend, this beautiful model who had unbelievably fallen in love with him, but she had her job too, and most of the time they weren’t even on the same continent at the same time. Whenever she was free, she would reach him wherever he was, but he knew that wasn’t how a relationship should be, and he knew it wouldn’t last. He’d probably known it all along—but he’d been pretending that everything was okay, that they were perfect together, just because Jennifer didn’t object to him spending time with Val.

  While he was still floating on the clouds, a voice called his name; a familiar voice invaded his dream and drew him toward it, like a coin toward a magnet. It was as if an invisible force was pulling him down, away from the clouds and from that wonderful feeling of freedom he’d been experiencing. He didn’t want to leave, yet he couldn’t resist. Somebody was calling him, the force became stronger, and he knew he couldn’t resist it any longer. He had to let go, to give in and stop resisting.

  “Ryan,” the voice was saying. “Ryan, I know you can hear me. Please don’t give in. Please don’t leave me now.”

  He was sure he knew the voice, yet he just couldn’t make out whom it belonged to.

  He had to open his eyes, he had to see the person calling him. Yet he felt so weak, even a simple action like opening his eyes seemed impossible, so after a few tries, he gave up. After all, the place where he was now was so inviting, so cozy, he never wanted to leave, no matter who was calling him.

  He turned back toward the clouds and started to walk—well, to float toward the bright white light on the horizon.

  “Ryan, Ryan!” the voice called again, with a deeper urgency now, as if that person had seen him walking away. “Please stay with me, please stay with me now, come back from wherever you’re going.”

  He turned back, half expecting to see someone behind him, to see that person, the woman the voice belonged to, but there was nobody, and nothing but clouds could be seen. How could she know where he was going—how could she know where he was?

  He didn’t want to go back; it was quiet and peaceful here and he needed to rest. He so needed to rest after all that traveling around the world. He didn’t want to go back to that life, not yet anyway.

  He shrugged and moved to take a step, but something clicked, and suddenly he knew he had to leave. She was calling him and in a flash of light, his whole life rolled by his eyes, as if on a big screen. Ryan saw her; he saw her eyes shining bright, he saw her smile, he saw the two of them walking in the park, playing the piano at the Club, lying on his bed listening to old records and talking about the future.

  Valerie.

  It was her voice, pleading, shaking, as if she was about to break down. He didn’t want to hear her in such pain; he didn’t want to be the cause of it. He had to go back, to tell her he was okay, that he was only resting for a while and he would be back soon.

  He fought with all his strength to open his eyes; he had to leave that wonderful place, even just for a little while, so he could reassure Valerie and make sure she’d be okay.

  Then, all of a sudden, the clouds were gone and he was falling, just like Alice had fallen down the white rabbit’s hole. His body went through a long, dark tunnel and, just like Alice, he didn’t know where he was going or how to stop.

  The fall seemed to last forever, but eventually there was a flash of light and his eyes fluttered open without any effort this time. Only to find he couldn’t breathe, only to find that something was choking him. Something was inside his throat, and he instinctively reached for it to take it out. As soon as he did, a warm, soft hand stopped him and before he could do or say anything, expert hands removed the tube from his throat and out of his mouth. An oxygen mask replaced it, and a few seconds later he was able to breat
he again.

  Ryan looked up and saw Valerie standing over him, her eyes sparkling with tears, but a big smile spread across her face. He smiled while a tear escaped his eye, and for the first time in a long time, he felt he was home. The same way he had the day Valerie had landed in Boston.

  Chapter 30

  *** Twelve years earlier ***

  Ryan had always wanted a younger brother or sister, someone who would depend on him and whom he could take care of, teaching him or her to ride a bike, to play soccer, and maybe even to play the piano. His two older brothers seemed to prefer video games and rugby to boring piano lessons, and he’d often felt like an outcast in his own family.

  After three boys though, his parents had decided that trying again for a girl would be useless, and so he’d ended up being the baby of the family, and his dream of having a younger sibling had remained such.

  When he met Valerie, though, he felt as if his dream had finally come true. They shared the same unusual passion for old music, they both loved hanging out with their grandfathers, and they both loved Frank Sinatra. She’d even looked at him in awe when he said he played the piano—his schoolmates usually asked him why he even bothered and if it helped him be more popular with chicks. She loved to simply sit by him at the Club, listening to him play.

  He was looking forward to seeing Valerie again. He had seen her at Christmas break when he’d gone home to Dublin, and they’d spent time together, planning her own trip to Boston. It was only a matter of hours now before they’d be in the same city and, most importantly, in the same country again. Though Boston was a a big city, they’d be only a few blocks away, and they’d be able to see each other whenever they wanted to.

  Studying at Berklee was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. The best jazz musicians had been students there, and lots of doors would open when he’d say he had studied at the most renowned school of jazz music in America. He would have been a fool to waste such an opportunity because he didn’t want to leave his hometown and family. But leaving Valerie behind had been tough.