“Is there anything I need to know?” Karen asked with a smirk, as soon as Valerie walked through the staff room door a couple of hours later.
“I see news spreads fast around these wards.”
Karen giggled and slumped down on a chair. “Kevin sent me a text. He said you had great news to share with me and that it was about you and Ryan. He didn’t say much more though.”
“Well, I guess there isn’t much more to know. He’s already told you everything.”
Karen snorted, and Valerie turned her back to her to pour herself a cup of tea, although she knew she probably would’ve needed something stronger to endure Karen’s interrogation.
“Tea?” she asked, and Karen waved her away.
“Valerie! I want the details. Come on, what happened?”
Valerie shrugged and poured milk into her mug, then she slowly turned back and sat down next to Karen. She didn’t know how else to say it, so she guessed saying it straight out would be the easiest way.
“Ryan and I... well... we’re in love.”
“You’re what?” Karen stared at her wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as if she had just seen a ghost. “That Ryan? Your best-friend-slash-big-brother-slash-jazz-star Ryan?”
“How many Ryans do you know? Yes, that Ryan. And yes, we fell in love—is it such a terrible thing? Weren’t you the one saying that friendship between a man and a woman doesn’t exist? Well, there you have it now. We kissed and we’re in love. No big deal.”
Valerie took a sip of tea, while Karen shot up from her chair.
“I need a coffee, a strong one. This is better than any of the tabloids I always read. You and Ryan... I can’t believe it!” She filled her mug to the brim with black coffee and gulped down half of it before sitting back on her chair. “How did it happen? I want to know everything, down to the very last detail. How was it? Kissing him, I mean. Was it good? Or was it weird? Did he kiss you, or did you kiss him? Is he a good kisser? I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him—”
“I won’t tell you about our kiss—it’s private!”
Karen rolled her eyes and groaned. “Was it good? You can at least tell me that.”
Valerie blushed and thought back to the million different sensations she had experienced the moment Ryan’s lips had connected with hers, the minute his tongue had met hers, and how everything else around them had suddenly disappeared.
“It was perfect,” she whispered, still daydreaming.
Karen giggled again. “You’re so in love, aren’t you?” Valerie nodded, and Karen gave her an I-told-you-so look. “What happened to the brother-and-sister kind of relationship, then? How did things between the two of you change so suddenly?”
Valerie shrugged. “I’ve always considered Ryan the big brother I’d never had, and I knew I was like a little sister for him. But when I was holding his heart in my hands, when I realized that I was never going to be able to see his smile again, hold his hand, feel his arms around me, well... it just hit me hard. I realized that, if he died, I would want to kill myself because my life without him would mean nothing at all. And, apparently, he felt the same. He said he heard me call his name, and he came back from that limbo he was in, just to be with me.”
“Wow,” Karen said, bringing a hand to her heart. “This is, like, what true love’s all about, isn’t it? I mean, Kevin and I, we’re head-over-heels in love now, yes, but when it all started it was, like, all about great sex and having fun together. Love came after a few months. But you guys, this is like a fairy tale. It’s so romantic!”
“All about great sex, huh? Please, Karen, spare me the details.”
“But it was! It still is, as a matter of fact. Well, whatever.” She stopped when Valerie wrinkled her nose, feigning disgust. “So I guess he dumped his long-legged, super-skinny girlfriend for you?” Valerie nodded, and Karen fist-pumped the air. “Good riddance.”
“He said he’s going to leave the music business and apply for a job at Berklee. He’s tired of being a celebrity. He wants to be with me and be free to be himself and write his music.”
“Wow. If he’s willing to leave it all behind just for you, the guy’s got it pretty bad.”
“And I for him,” she whispered, bringing her mug to her lips and sighing dreamily.
“Aww, you’re so cute, Doctor Fogarty.” Karen grinned and patted her shoulder. “I’m so glad you two finally opened your eyes. Kevin and I were running out of ideas to make you two get together.” Valerie frowned and Karen shrugged, gulping down the other half of her coffee. “Well, a close proximity to death wasn’t something we had thought of but, well, since it worked...”
Valerie opened her mouth to say something, but her pager went off, so she stood up, put the mug in the sink and, after telling Karen she’d see her later, she ran out of the room, leaving Karen to giggle on her own.
Chapter 37
When Ryan was finally discharged, a little more than a week later—since Valerie had been adamant that he stay and rest as long as possible—he knew he would have to face the hardest challenge: tell Gordon he wanted to quit. His manager was extremely good at what he did but he wasn’t the most easy-going person and Ryan was looking forward to talking to him as much as he would be looking forward to a root canal.
“Sure, let me just check the calendar and fix a date,” Gordon was on the phone when Ryan stepped into his office, and waved him in with an ear-to-ear smile Ryan had only seen on his manager’s face when he was just about to put his hands on more money. “We’ve been contacted by other networks, but I think yours would be the best to feature an exclusive interview.”
Point proven. Gordon was setting up an interview in which Ryan would be expected to explain the accident and hospital stay down to the smallest detail, and certainly talk about his break-up with Jennifer. This exclusive interview would bring just a little more money into Ryan’s pockets and, as a consequence, into Gordon’s. Thus, the reason for Gordon’s smile. Hoping he was in a good mood just because would have been too much to wish for.
Waiting for Gordon to end the conversation, Ryan plopped on the leather chair in front of the desk and realized this wasn’t going to be as easy as he’d thought it would be. When he was lying in that hospital bed after having been given another shot at life and after realizing his heart belonged to Valerie, he had thought he’d be able to make Gordon see things through his eyes. He’d thought that once he explained to him he had understood what was really important in life and that he didn’t care about success if it meant he would be away from Valerie, Gordon would accept his decision and even commend him on his choice.
Seeing the way he was getting all excited about this interview, Ryan quickly understood that Gordon wasn’t going to be happy about what he was about to hear.
“Ryan, it’s good to see you, man. You’ve got perfect timing. I’ve got great news for you,” Gordon said once he’d hung up. Ryan’s blood went cold. No, Gordon definitely wasn’t going to like Ryan’s speech. “But first: how are you? Are you fit for flying? I can always organize something close, like New York, so we can drive, if you can’t get on planes yet.”
Ryan opened his mouth to say something, but Gordon didn’t even pause to take a breath, so Ryan couldn’t do much more than lean back in the chair and wait for him to finish his soliloquy.
“I can put together a gig at the MSG in New York—we could even turn it into a two or three-night event. I’m sure with all the news about your accident the shows will be sold out within hours.”
Gordon took his iPhone out of his pants pocket and swiped his finger on the screen, no doubt checking his organizer for the best dates for the event. Ryan inhaled deeply and held it in for a second, wishing he were miles away, possibly with Valerie.
“Gordon, there’s something I need to tell you,” he said, letting out the breath in a loud exhale. Gordon’s eyes shot up, searching Ryan’s for a clue. He frowned seeing the serious expression on Ryan’s face and for a moment, Ryan�
��s confidence faltered. Gordon’s left eyebrow quirked, waiting for him to speak, and Ryan decided it would be best to just spit it out. “I want to quit.”
Gordon’s face went pale and flushed bright red immediately afterward, as soon as anger replaced shock. Ryan feared the man was going to have a heart attack.
“You, what? Have you gone crazy?”
Gordon sprang up, nearly knocking down his chair with the force of his movement, and started pacing around his desk, clenching and unclenching his fists.
“What do you mean you quit? You can’t quit now! You’ve just started your career—you haven’t even been to Asia yet.”
“I don’t care. I’ve reconsidered my priorities while I was stuck in the hospital: music still ranks high but it’s not my top priority anymore. And show-biz is definitely not in my top ten chart.”
Ryan stood up and leaned against the desk with his hands on the polished mahogany top. He clenched his jaw while he fought for control. He’d almost died in a car crash and all his manager seemed to care about was that this was a great marketing opportunity, a reason to sell more tickets for his shows.
Gordon snorted and spun around, his eyes ablaze.
“Is there a woman behind this, Ryan?” he spat, slamming his hands on the desk. Ryan flinched. “I heard you and Jen split up. Is that the reason why you’re quitting?”
“Jen’s not the reason why I’m quitting but yes, there actually is a woman behind this—although she’s not the only reason why I made this decision.”
Gordon’s cheeks were bright red and his frown was so deep, the lines looked etched on his skin. His lips were in a thin line and trembled a little in an attempt to keep his temper. Ryan’s stomach twisted. No, his manager would never see things through Ryan’s eyes.
“Damn, Gordon. In case you’ve forgotten, I almost died. Three times. This sort of put things into perspective, you know? I’ve always wanted to be a pianist, yes, but I didn’t want music to take everything away from me. I want my life back, my friends and family. I want to spend time with the woman I love, and be there for her.”
“You can’t be serious. You’re throwing five years of hard work out the window; do you realize that?” Ryan nodded, and Gordon threw his hands up in the air, letting out an annoyed grunt. “Well, I hope she’s worth a billion dollars, because that’s how much you’re giving up if you quit now. You could be the next Sinatra. Hell, you were heading the right way for a Grammy and you’re giving it all up for a woman? I thought you were smarter than that.”
“I don’t care about the money, you know I never did. Valerie’s all I’ll ever need.”
Gordon’s face flushed burgundy and Ryan mentally slapped himself for this stupid slip of the tongue.
“Valerie? Your friend, Valerie? That same friend you always swore was like a sister to you and who caused all that fuss when she came to Miami?”
“Valerie didn’t cause any fuss—those stupid reporters did. Anyway, back then we were just friends. Being close to death made me realize she is more important than money or success. I don’t want to leave her, ever again.” Ryan kept his tone calm, even though he wanted to turn on his heels and walk away, maybe even slamming the door on his way out. A very dramatic exit was what everyone expected of a spoiled, fickle celebrity—and he was sure that was what Gordon thought of him right now. Instead, he sat back on the chair and clasped his hands on the desk. “I don’t expect you to understand my reasons for quitting, but I’d like for you to accept my decision and not make things hard. I want to find a way to sort this out. I could do a final gig, like a farewell show or something, if that works? I’m going to apply for a job at Berklee, so I’ll be free until the new term starts.”
Bringing up a show turned out to be a great diversion. Gordon’s shoulders relaxed and the frown eased. He sat back on his chair and brought his joined hands to his face, resting his chin on the tip of his fingers. Ryan thought he could almost see dollar signs and little stars in his eyes. Business was all Gordon was interested in, and for the first time since he’d met him, Ryan felt a little pity for the forty-something man in front of him.
Maybe if he hadn’t had that accident, Ryan would’ve ended up like Gordon, all caught up in music and money and with nobody to love him, and he knew right there and then he had made the right decision. Valerie was worth more than all the money in the world, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life proving it to her, every single day.
Chapter 38
Valerie had had a long, tough day, but as soon as Ryan opened the door wearing a gorgeous smile, all of her worries and events of the day dissipated like snowflakes in warm water.
Two weeks had already gone by since she’d gone back to her surgery residency and, although it was tough, she realized she’d never been this happy when she was in the ER. Surgery was her life, her mission, and she could endure the longest shifts without complaint. After hearing about the way she had saved Ryan’s life, the chief surgeon had spoken to the hospital manager, and they had both offered Valerie the opportunity to go back to cardiac surgery. It hadn’t taken her long to decide; working in the ER was okay, but now that she’d managed to walk back into an operating room, she wanted to go back to her initial plan and be a surgeon—a good surgeon who’d save hundreds of lives, just like she’d saved Ryan’s.
Valerie took one single step inside the apartment and took his face in her hands, then kissed him slowly. He tasted of sweet wine and of Ryan—probably one of her favorite combinations, second only to chocolate and Ryan.
“Mmh...” he said against her lips, when they came up for air. “What was that for?”
“I had a tough day, and needed to feel you close.” She shrugged and closed the door behind her, hanging her purse on the peg on the full-length mirror. “Why, do you mind?”
“Not at all,” he said, shaking his head. His arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her flush to him. “I only wish you had more tough days, then.” His warm lips nuzzled the side of her neck and her knees buckled just a little. He trailed soft kisses all along her throat, until his lips met hers.
“You taste like wine. Have you been celebrating without me?” She pulled back a little and stared at him with a quirked eyebrow. He lifted a shoulder.
“I popped a bottle for our dinner, and tasted it to make sure it was all right.” He kissed the top of her head, and suddenly the hospital was light years away and all her problems disappeared. “So, what happened at work? Did something go wrong?” he continued, stroking her back gently and leading her to the kitchen.
“Four-hour double coronary artery bypass, and we almost lost the patient. She’s fine now, but it was tough.”
“No kidding!” He brushed a lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail and tucked it behind her ear. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of his touch. “But try to leave it all behind now; your shift’s over and you’re off tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy tonight, just you and me. Come, I have a cure for you, Doc.”
He pulled her into the kitchen. The sink was filled to the brim with pans and kitchen utensils, while a lovely smell of salmon lingered in the room in spite of the scented candles all over the counter and kitchen island.
He turned back, holding two goblets of sparkling white wine. “There’s nothing a glass of good Chardonnay can’t fix,” he said, winking as he offered one. She took it and he clinked his glass with hers.
“When did you become an alcoholic, Ryan?”
He laughed, and took a sip from his glass. “A glass of good wine usually helped after a long day of interviews, fan meetings, and rehearsals, when I was all alone in my luxurious hotel room. I never really drank more than one, though. You don’t have to worry about me going into rehab.”
“I should very well hope so. I don’t want to date an ex jazz star with low self-esteem and alcoholism issues.”
“I see you have a very high opinion of me,” he said, his face puckering up like a child. “And here I was making you a nice, roman
tic dinner, thinking you loved me.”
She placed the goblet on the table next to her and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck. She stood on tip-toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
“Of course I love you,” she whispered, her lips brushing his. His arms tightened around her and she reveled in the feeling of their bodies so close. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with leaving it all behind. Music’s always been your life: I don’t want you to rush things and regret it.”
“I’m not rushing anything. I’m happy with how things are now. Being a jazz star wasn’t so exciting, after all. Especially since it kept me away from you. So,” he pulled back and gave her a dazzling smile that made her all but forget her name. “You hungry?”
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