A Form of Justice

by Dawn Marsanne

  The audience was feeling her pain, and the air seemed full of embarrassment. This was not the performance they had been expecting.

  ‘Er, sorry, could I have some more water?’ asked Gina.

  Jill bustled over and poured her some more.

  ‘Thank you. I’m so sorry,’ Gina said to the audience, ‘I have a most persistent frog in my throat.’ She slurped some more water rather ungracefully and placed the glass down using both hands.

  ‘I was very fortunate to benefit from such marvellous teaching here and went to Cambridge to study Law. I’m sure you don’t want to hear in great detail about my career, but instead, I thought I would...’ Gina paused and gripped her stomach. Her hand flew to her mouth, and she gagged.

  ‘Ah, oh, no!’ she screamed. ‘I feel sick!’

  The audience gasped, and Gina was transfixed by indecision, should she rush from the stage or should she try to swallow down the rising tide of bile which threatened to burst forth?

  Jill rushed back on to the stage to help the distressed visitor just as Gina doubled over and vomited violently.

  The audience recoiled in horror and averted their eyes. Murmurs amongst them grew to an audible volume of chatter, and a few gathered their things and walked from the hall overcome with a sympathetic feeling of nausea.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ said Gina.

  Jill took her arm and tried to ignore the vomit which had spattered her shoes. ‘Can someone get a bowl or something?’ she called.

  A general commotion ensued as the organising committee set about deciding the best way to proceed. The second speaker, Dr Anika Khatri, assisted Jill in helping Gina off the stage and out of the hall.

  Gina had never felt so humiliated. ‘I don’t know what happened,’ she said as she was led out of the hall. ‘I was fine before I arrived, it just came on so suddenly. I’ve ruined the evening.’ Her voice broke, and she began to cry. ‘Oh, God, your shoes! I’ll buy you some more.’

  ‘Shush, don’t worry, anyone can be ill,’ said Jill. ‘I’ll get you some more water, it must be one of those noroviruses. I caught one from my grandson a while ago. I know how horrible it is.’

  Gina had her head in her hands. Her stomach was sore with the act of retching, and she felt hot and sweaty. Her hair stuck to her forehead and her blouse felt soaked under the armpits.

  Back in the hall, the Headmistress was making an announcement.

  ‘We will take a short break whilst we sort things out. I’m very sorry about what happened, just one of those unfortunate things. In a few minutes, we will hear from our second speaker, Dr Anika Khatri, a neurosurgeon from the hospital here. In the meantime, please catch up with old acquaintances or take the opportunity to read the poster boards at the back. We should be able to restart in about fifteen minutes.’

  As the Headmistress was speaking, Susan stood and excused herself past two women on her row and scurried out to the back of the hall on tiptoes. She opened the door and saw Gina sitting in a chair in the cool draft from the open main door, accepting a glass of water.

  ‘Hi, Gina, how are you feeling now?’

  ‘Well, a bit better actually after chucking up my guts all over the stage.’ She shook her head. ‘Oh, no, I think it’s happening again!’ Gina heaved but produced nothing.

  ‘I’ve some anti-nausea pills if you want one?’ said Susan. ‘I take them when I have my chemo.’ She foraged in her bag and produced a strip of pills.

  ‘Thanks, I’ll take one,’ said Gina, swallowing it down with the glass of water offered by Gill. She had shed her jacket and pulled her blouse away from her back. ‘God, I’m a sweaty mess,’ she said, ‘what a shambles.’

  ‘Look, I’ll take you home,’ said Susan, ‘you can’t drive.’

  ‘I can phone my husband and get him to collect me,’ replied Gina, searching in her bag for her phone.

  ‘Look, don’t bother him, I’ve got my car here, and we can go now, I bet you just want to get home and into bed?’

  ‘I feel awful, troubling you,’ said Gina.

  ‘It’s no trouble, really. We can leave anytime you are ready.’

  ‘OK, well, thank you, it’s very kind of you. I’ll just get some fresh air for a few minutes.’

  Gina picked up her handbag and wandered outside, leaving her jacket behind and held on to the wall and door as she escaped from the confines of the lobby.

  ‘It’s very kind of you to offer,’ Jill said to Susan.

  ‘I’ll get her home,’ said Susan. She noticed that Jill had by now discarded her vomit-spattered shoes and was padding around in her tights, which unfortunately still had a few specks of regurgitated food clinging to them. Susan picked up Gina’s jacket from the back of the chair and was now ready to leave.

  ‘I’m so upset about this evening, it’s such a shame,’ said Jill, slumping down in the chair vacated by Gina. The adrenalin was wearing off now, and she felt exhausted and depressed.

  ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it, I’ll sort her out.’

  ‘Thank you so much. I hope she won’t be any trouble.’

  Susan raised her hand to wave goodbye and went outside to collect Gina who was sitting on the bottom step, her arms hugging her body.

  ‘Right, here we are, my car’s this way.’

  The two women wandered over towards the red Ford Focus which winked its lights welcomingly as they approached.

  ‘I’ve got the most disgusting taste in my mouth,’ said Gina. ‘Where’s my e-cigarette? I need a vape.’

  ‘Do you think that’s wise? It might make you feel sick again?’

  ‘I’ve got to get rid of this taste, it’s awful. I think I put it in my jacket pocket.’

  Susan held out the jacket, and Gina fumbled in the pockets. ‘Shit, it’s not there, it must have fallen out, oh, never mind.’

  'In your handbag perhaps?'

  ‘No, it’s not there, I must have mislaid it.’

  ‘You can have mine if you want? I have used it, but I’ve not got a cold.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes, here you are.’

  ‘I’ll buy you another one, I’ve got some money in my bag.’

  ‘Don’t worry about that, let’s just get you home. Mind your head, that’s it,’ she said as she helped Gina into the passenger seat. ‘Put your belt on.’

  Susan went around to the driver’s side and got in the car. Gina took a couple of deep breaths. ‘That’s better, hopefully, it will take away the taste of being sick.’

  Gina cooperated and Susan climbed into the car. They were now ready to leave the school grounds. Susan started the engine, reversed out of the space and left the car park, passing by the steps to the main entrance where the group of women were gathered, waving at the departing vehicle.

  Gina continued to vape. ‘I think this is helping, I’m feeling a lot better actually.’

  ‘It’s probably one of those twenty-four-hour bugs. You should feel fine tomorrow. Right, where do you live?’

  ‘It’s not far, Bridlegate Gardens. It’s up by the Chaucer Hospital.’

  ‘OK, I’ll head that way, and you can direct me.’

  They drove along with Gina vaping away.

  ‘What’s that?’ shrieked Gina, pointing at the road ahead.

  ‘Goodness, you gave me a fright,’ said Susan, slowing the car and indicating to pull over to stop. ‘It was a fox, that’s all. My heart is racing after that outburst.’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Gina, then she began to laugh. ‘What a crap evening!’

  ‘It’s been eventful, I grant you,’ said Susan, looking in her mirror as she pulled away from the kerb.

  ‘I must have taken leave of my senses to come back here.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Because they are a waste of fucking space, that’s why!’

  Gina had become energised, she was speaking in her familiar clear, loud voice. She giggled as if amused by her own joke.

  ‘Well, we all make mistakes, I guess,
’ said Susan, concentrating on her driving.

  ‘Mistakes? What do you mean?’

  ‘What you said, about coming back to the school, I mean perhaps it was a mistake?’

  ‘It certainly was. I must be completely mad. Do you know, I think that sickness brought me to my senses. I realise now just how much I fucking hate them!’

  ‘Do you really? Hate them?’

  ‘Yes, I do! All of them!’

  ‘Oh, dear, that’s a bit harsh.’

  ‘Waste of space the lot of them. They should be put out of their misery. Spineless and hopeless.’

  ‘Unlike you who’s always in control, is that right?’

  ‘Most of the time I am. I try to be. Why, is that wrong of me?’

  ‘No, not wrong but sometimes we can’t always be in charge.’

  ‘True but I’m at my best when I’m in control.’

  ‘You’re lucky then, aren’t you?’

  ‘Lucky? How am I lucky?’

  ‘Lucky that you are always able to be in control.’

  ‘It’s not luck, it’s taking control of your own life. It’s my life, therefore, I decide what I want to do.’

  ‘Gina, I’ll just open the window a bit if you are going to vape so much. I’m having trouble seeing the road.’

  ‘Fine by me. Where are we going by the way?’

  ‘I’m taking you home, aren’t I? Unless you feel like going somewhere else?’

  ‘I don’t want to go home, not yet. I want a drink!’

  ‘I don’t think that’s very wise,’ said Susan. ‘A cup of tea would be better.’

  ‘Tea! Pfff, I don’t think so. Let’s go for a drink. No, not a drink, several drinks,’ replied Gina, laughing again.

  ‘OK,’ acquiesced Susan. The woman beside her needed to be placated. Susan indicated right and waited for a gap in the traffic, then joined the main road and stopped at the traffic lights which were on red.

  ‘Can’t you go any quicker? I need a drink!’

  ‘We are nearly there. I can’t do anything about the lights.’

  ‘You could go through on red! Why don’t you? Let’s have a bit of fun.’

  ‘We’ll have fun later, we don’t want to have an accident, and get stopped by the police, do we?’

  ‘Spoilsport,’ laughed Gina. ‘Fuck!’ she shouted at the top of her voice making Susan start.

  ‘Gina! I’ve told you, don’t shout like that, you made me jump. What is it?’

  ‘That tree is moving, did you see it? It’s coming for us!’

  ‘It won’t catch us, now close your eyes and relax,’ said Susan. ‘You’re quite safe with me.’

  Chapter 46

  Tom had made himself a cup of tea whilst he waited for Trish to return, and as it was now after 10 p.m., he hoped he wouldn’t have to wait much longer. Normally, the talks at her University of the Third Age group finished around 9 p.m., so it was possible she had decided to go for a drink with the others. He just wished she would respond to his texts though. Her phone was still diverting calls to voicemail, so he had no way of contacting her.

  After browsing the sites his wife had visited, he was beginning to wonder whether she had become a drug abuser, although thinking back over the last few weeks, he could remember no particular change in her mood. In fact, she had seemed more positive than she had done in a long while and was certainly keeping busy, and interested in her new hobbies. It all seemed a bit incongruous at the moment and what was equally disturbing, was that she had clearly revisited the transcripts of the SEKare inquiry on a regular basis. He was worried that repeated exposure to the harrowing evidence would bring about another attack of memory loss. Perhaps he would contact Beth in the morning and see whether she had picked up on anything different about Trish in their recent interactions.

  ‘Come on, where are you?’ he sighed as the newsreader announced that it was time for the sports news.

  **

  ‘We’re not going up to London are we?’ asked Gina. ‘This is the station car park.’

  ‘Yes, I know, but I’ve got to park somewhere. This is the closest.’

  ‘To where?’

  ‘The wine bar.’

  ‘Oooooh, very posh, not a pub but a wine bar. What’s it called?’

  ‘I can’t remember, but you’ll like it. Come on, we need to get a move on before last orders.’

  ‘I can’t open the door,’ said Gina.

  ‘I’ll do it, it must be the childproof locks.’

  Susan got out and ran around to the passenger side, and Gina climbed out unsteadily.

  ‘Here, take my arm,’ said Susan.

  ‘Which way?’

  ‘Up St Dunstan’s Street, this way. It’s not far now.’

  They reached the level crossing, which was open to cars and pedestrians and Gina stopped to look at the railway lines. ‘London this way, the sea, that way,’ she said. ‘I think they are pulling me, they look like ropes. Where will my journey take me?’

  ‘That’s right, they do have a certain draw. They look amazing, don’t they? The railway lines stretching out almost into infinity.’

  ‘I’ve never looked at them like this before,’ said Gina, wistfully.

  ‘Gina,’ said Susan, trying to attract her friend’s attention to bring her back to the moment, ‘do you know there’s a shortcut to this wine bar, we need to hurry, it’s getting late.’

  ‘Sounds good, which way?’

  ‘This way, follow me!’ shouted Susan, as she ran along the side of the railway.

  ‘Wait for me!’ shouted Gina.

  Other pedestrians looked on in horror at two middle-aged women walking along the side of the railway lines. Gina continued to vape as she ran along, but the cloud of smoke seemed to be lessening.

  ‘This way!’ shouted Susan. She was heading out of town in the direction of London, and it was becoming increasingly darker, so she activated the torch on her mobile.

  Gina caught up and seemed a little out of breath.

  ‘Mind the live rail!’ shouted Susan. ‘There’s a third rail down here remember!’

  ‘Oops,’ shouted Gina, stepping to the side away from the tracks. She stumbled over a piece of debris or perhaps a tree branch. ‘Shit!’ she shouted. ‘Oh, where’s it gone?’

  ‘What’s the matter?’ called Susan.

  ‘I’ve dropped it! Oh, where is it?’

  ‘Never mind, you’ve done enough vaping tonight, too much isn’t good for you.’

  ‘Don’t tell me what to do, I’ll do what I fucking want!’ spat Gina.

  ‘Really? Do you reckon? That’s what you are used to doing isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, we’ve already had this conversation? Why are you bringing it up again? Stop wasting time and let’s get to the wine bar.’

  ‘I’m just mentioning what you’ve already told me. You were very proud of telling me how you are used to being in control of people. Getting your own way!’

  ‘So, that’s the way I am. It would be no good always being a doormat. Some of us have to be in charge.’

  ‘I see. You are in charge, and the rest of the world is made up of minions to do your bidding? Is that it?’

  ‘Well, possibly. I’m not sure.’

  Gina’s mood had become more subdued. She was speaking quietly and much less animatedly than she had been earlier.

  ‘Are you OK, Gina? You seem a bit tired?’

  ‘I’m cold. I want to go back. This is a shit shortcut! Ha! That’s a good phrase, a shit shortcut!’

  ‘Not so fast, I’ve not finished!’ screamed Susan, pulling a knife from her bag and holding at Gina’s throat.

  ‘What are you doing?’ cried, Gina.

  ‘Oh, you’ll find out soon enough. Now, I think it’s best to keep still, and then nobody gets hurt.’

  **

  Tom had gone to bed, as he had begun to feel sleepy due to the effect of a second whisky, that had proved much too tempting during his solitary wait. He had a busy day ahead and needed to
sleep, but at the same time, he wanted an explanation from Trish about his recent discoveries. Her phone was still diverting to voicemail, and it was now after 10.30 p.m. He was seriously beginning to worry she’d had a car accident. He switched on the news to keep him company, turned down the volume and relaxed back against his pillows with the phone in front of him on the duvet.

  Chapter 47

  Susan had the knife pressed into Gina’s neck and could see a drop of blood burst from the surface of the skin. She shone the torch from her mobile phone directly into her captive’s face.

  ‘Arghh,’ screamed Gina.

  ‘Not so much in control now, are you?’

  ‘Let me go, Susan!’

  ‘No, don’t tell me what to do! It’s time for me to be in control, not you! Look at it as a new experience!’

  ‘Susan! What are you doing? Are you mad?’ Gina was now very much back in the present moment.

  ‘Wrong name!’ Suddenly the person Gina believed to be Susan, ripped off her headscarf and threw her glasses down on the ground. She ruffled her hair and stared directly at Gina, still holding the knife to her neck.

  ‘What? Who?’ was all Gina could manage to say.

  ‘Patsy is the name you are searching for. Patsy Locke as you knew me. Have I changed? Physically? Take a good look.’ She removed the torch from in front of Gina’s eyes and used it to illuminate her own face.

  ‘Oh, God, Patsy!’ Gina was shell-shocked. Her mouth fell open and her eyes surveyed with horror the woman before her. She had been duped, and her brain struggled to make sense of the situation, further hampered by the strong LED light which Trish continued to brandish. ‘Look, we can talk about this. We need to get back to safety, away from here.’ Her voice was trembling, and fear was emanating from every pore.