After School Activities

by Dirk Hunter

  “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

  “Of course. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

  We really were. Like, real friends. I felt myself compelled to tell her about Adam, share with her my misgivings. All the doubt I’d been having lately, feeling like his shameful secret. It seemed like she might have something insightful to say, some way I could make the situation easier.

  But at the same time, I knew I couldn’t tell her about it, not without betraying Adam, at least a little bit. Which is exactly what I was upset about, this need to keep quiet. It was frustrating.

  So I ate another cookie, and thought of something benign to say.

  “Tonight’s been fun. You really know how to throw a party.”

  “You should come to my New Year’s party. Everyone’s invited, and most of the school comes. It’s awesome.”

  As we gathered up the cookies and headed back to the group, a plan was forming. Charlotte’s New Year’s party was the perfect solution to my problem. Everyone would be there, so no one would think twice about Adam and me both being there. We could spend time together in front of everyone. We’d show everyone we were friends, so we wouldn’t have to be quite as secretive. Maybe we could even sneak off to some secluded corner, where no one was around to see us, and enjoy some of our more… private activities.

  And if someone did catch us, and the secret was out? Well, I couldn’t say I’d be too upset.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “…WELL, ANYWAY, I was thinking, since Charlotte’s New Year’s parties are always so huge — like the entire junior and senior classes will probably be there — it wouldn’t be weird at all for us both to be there. And since practically everyone knows we’ve been hanging out lately anyway — okay, okay, that I’ve been ‘tutoring’ you, but still. What I’m saying is, I think we should go together. It would be fun.”

  Adam took a long time to finish chewing his bite of sandwich. We were at Adam’s secret spot, what I still referred to as Adam’s Lake, even though he had told me its real name at least three times. It had taken me a few weeks to work up the courage to finally broach the subject with him. A few weeks of practicing speeches in mirrors, and case-testing them with Mel, all thrown out the window the instant I opened my mouth and began stammering. Typical.

  Adam finally swallowed. “I can’t. I have family stuff to do that night. We’re visiting my mom. Besides, I figured you’d wanna spend that time with your friends. Hasn’t Kai been complaining lately that you two never hang out?”

  Kai really had. He’d started periodically sending me texts listing things that had happened more recently than us hanging out. The last one was Dinosaurs went extinct. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “There you go. I can spend time with my family. You can hang out with your friends. Everyone’s happy. And then after that, maybe you and I can have our own private celebration here.”

  “In January? Maybe we could find someplace else. Someplace a little more indoors.”

  “Oh come on. It won’t be so bad. We could build an igloo, hunker down for the winter.”

  “Or, we could do it at my house, where there’s heat.”

  “But there’s so much more we can do out here, where it’s private.”

  Great. Private. Always private. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

  “I can think of a few things.” He grinned at me suggestively. “In fact, why wait until January? We could get started right now.”

  “Now? It’s like thirty-five degrees out here. And we can’t exactly build that igloo, unless you’re hiding a bunch of snow in your pants.”

  “There’s always the back of my car.”

  My eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to change the subject, aren’t you?” “Is it working?”

  “Oh yeah. Now go get the car started so it can warm up.”

  “No need. We can get it steamy enough on our own.”

  BEFORE CLASS started, I broached the subject of New Year’s with Kai. “I thought you already had plans” was his immediate, biting response.

  I knew he wasn’t gonna make this easy. “I simply thought it’s been so long since we’ve hung out. Why don’t I spend the holidays with my best friends? Besides, wasn’t hanging out on New Year’s your idea?”

  “Yeah, and I believe your exact words when I had the idea were ‘ha-ha, no. I’m going to Charlotte’s party.’”

  “You’re taking my words out of context,” I said.

  “‘Everyone who is anyone is going to be there, which you’d know if you’d gotten invited,’” he continued.

  “Okay, I’m pretty sure you’re paraphrasing.”

  “‘This my chance, blah blah, popular kids, blah blah, finally be cool, new best friends, etc., etc.’”

  That last part wasn’t even close. “Is that really how I sound to you?” “Pretty much.”

  “And are we suddenly in a teen movie? Are we the misfit kids desperate for popularity with, like, a ‘lose our virginity by prom’ pact? ’Cause I can think of like twelve reasons why that doesn’t work off the top of my head.”

  Kai shrugged. “It’s the only reason I can think of why you’re so desperate to go to this party.”

  “You’re right. I was popularity crazed. But now I’ve come to my senses, and we can hang out, just us misfits.”

  “Unless….” Kai’s eyes narrowed. “You wanted to go with Adam, but he doesn’t want to go with you.”

  Fuck. I was really beginning to wish I had stupider friends. “Well, yes and no.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Yes, he doesn’t want to go, and, um, no, I’d rather just spend the night with you?”

  “Let me get this straight.” Kai said. “Because Adam’s not going, now suddenly you don’t want to either?”

  “I mean, when you put it that way, it sounds kind of….”

  “No, that makes perfect sense.” His words practically dripped with sarcasm.

  “Really? ’Cause your words are saying one thing, but your tone is saying another.”

  “I mean, why would you want to go? You don’t have anyone to go with.” “I feel like we’ve established that already.”

  “You don’t know a single other person you could take. Nope, not a one.” “Okay. I think I see where this is going.”

  “It’s not like there’s anyone you’ve been friends with since forever…”

  “Kai….”

  “…Who has always wanted to go to a cheerleader party…”

  “First I’m hearing about it.”

  “…’Cause he’s been trying to make it with Sandra for, like, ever….”

  “I remember things a little bit differently. One might say gayer.”

  “Someone who has stuck by your side through thick and thin, good times and bad….”

  I sighed. “Kai, do you want to go to Charlotte’s party?”

  “What, me? I’d have to check my schedule,” Kai said with a mixed look of smugness and feigned innocence, and a grin like he thought he was clever. It was embarrassingly satisfying when, a second later, Mel dropped her books on the desk behind him, making him jump slightly in surprise.

  Try and play that one cool, doofus.

  “The weirdest thing just happened to me,” Mel said as she sat down. “What’s that?” Kai asked, turning his startled jump into a pretend stretch. No one was fooled.

  “Out in the hall, I was banked by a horde of cheerleaders. Before I knew what was happening, I was right outside the lunchroom where Charlotte Pierce herself made a big deal about asking me to come to her New Year’s Eve party. She was, like, really weirdly insistent. She mentioned your name, Dylan, no less than six times. I counted. I found myself saying yes, simply because she was so oppressively nice to me. I’m not certain I was physically capable of saying no. I made it halfway back here before I noticed I was carrying a bag of homemade cookies and a personalized thank-you note.”

  “Do you still have those cookies?” Kai asked, “’Cause I know a guy who….”
Mel handed him a cookie, and he shoved the whole thing in his mouth. “Ooo, they’re good.”

  “Dylan, I think she might legit be an evil genius,” Mel said.

  “Maybe she just really wants you to come,” I said.

  “No. I go to Charlotte’s New Year’s party every year. That’s not what this is.”

  “Seriously?” Kai said. “Am I the only one who doesn’t get invited to this thing?”

  Mel ignored him. “I get the feeling she went to this length so I would convince you to come, Dylan.”

  “What about me?” Kai whined. “I want to come.”

  “No, Malachi. She specifically said you’re not invited.” Mel said dryly. “The only thing I can’t figure out,” she continued, ignoring Kai’s sulk, “is why she would be worried you wouldn’t come. The other night you were really excited to go.”

  “Oh, you know,” I said, “I thought it might be more fun if we did something just the three of us. How long has it been since the gang’s been together, am I right?”

  Mel gave me a flat look. “Let me guess,” she said to Kai, “Adam doesn’t want to go, so now Dylan wants to stay home and mope.”

  “What is with the both of you and…?” I began, indignant.

  “That’s exactly what it is,” Kai said, cutting me off.

  “I figured. Listen, Dylan, I know it bothers you that Adam doesn’t want to be seen with you in public….”

  “What? That is not why I don’t want to go to Charlotte’s party.”

  Both Mel and Kai gave me identical “really?” looks, down to the angle of their raised eyebrows. They had to have practiced that. “Okay, maybe that’s a tiny part of it.”

  “Exactly,” Mel continued. “And you knew that was the deal going into this. You’ve even said that you were okay with that, how many times?”

  “I don’t know….”

  “At least a million,” said Kai.

  “Oh come on, it wasn’t that many.”

  “At. Least. A. Million,” Mel reiterated. “So you are in no way allowed to mope about this. You are coming to this party with me.”

  I sighed. Clearly I’d lost the argument. No sense in putting up a fight. It was a very real possibility that Mel would literally drag me to this party. She’d done it before.

  “Well, I guess it would be fun to party with you.”

  “Damn straight it will be.”

  “Just to be clear,” Kai said, “I am coming to this party too, right?”

  “We’ll see,” I said.

  “If you’re good,” Mel said.

  We laughed.

  “No, but seriously, I get to come, right? Guys? Stop laughing at me! I’m starting to feel insecure. Seriously? That makes you laugh harder? … I hate you guys.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  WHEN NEW Year’s Eve finally rolled around, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had never been to one of those high school megaparties before.

  Sure, Oak Lake was a small school, but if it was true that most of the junior and senior classes were coming, even if they did filter in and out throughout the night, that still meant there’d be hundreds of kids there.

  Now, Charlotte’s house was easily big enough to swallow crowds of people, but I imagined it had to be overflowing. I mean, I really just had movies and TV shows to go off here. I was picturing walls shaking as enormous speakers pumped out dance music, discarded beer cans, and drunken teens rollicking around the yard, broken windows with scantily clad people hanging out of them. That whole schtick.

  Imagine my surprise when I showed up with Mel and Kai, and the only signs of a party were the lights in every window, and the occasional silhouette. Well, that and all the cars parked on the street. We had to circle around for about twenty minutes before we found a place to park over a block away.

  “Not what I was expecting,” Kai said. I grunted in agreement.

  “You were thinking it would be a rager?” Mel asked.

  “Well, yeah. Basically.”

  Mel shook her head. “Charlotte always throws classy affairs.”

  “Seriously, how did I never know about you going to these parties?” Kai asked.

  “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. I’m a big ball of mystery.”

  “Right,” Kai said dryly. “Obviously. So what do we do, knock or just burst in and join the mass of lithe and youthful bodies?”

  “What do you mean, we?” I joked as we walked up to the door.

  “You were just our ride. You can leave now.”

  “Ha, ha. Very funny,” Kai said sarcastically as Mel knocked.

  Charlotte opened the door. “Welcome to my New Year’s extravaganza! Where the fun….” She cut off when she saw who was at the door. “Malachi,” she said in a tone the dripped with scorn. She turned to Mel and me. “I thought I made it clear that he was in no way allowed to step foot in my house ever. He is the vilest, least popular scum to ever crawl the halls of Oak Lake.” With each word, Kai’s jaw dropped lower and his face grew redder until he looked like an anthropomorphic tomato about to eat a bowling ball.

  Mel and I burst out laughing in unison, and Charlotte’s face went from wrathful to grinning in a fraction of a second. Kai’s mouth snapped close with an audible click.

  “What just happened?” he asked.

  “They told me to give you a hard time, hon,” Charlotte replied.

  “Apparently you are the only person in the entire school who didn’t know my parties are open invitation. Couldn’t pass that opportunity up, and man, was it worth it.” She held out her hand. “Now, keys please.”

  Kai, who was busy glaring at Mel and me, was taken completely off guard by Charlotte’s demand. “What?”

  “Your car keys. Give them to me. I do my best, but my punch always ends up spiked and the jocks manage to smuggle in beer. I suspect in their pants, but I’m not about to mandate strip searches upon entry — as much as we’d all enjoy it, I’m sure. Point is, when you’re ready to leave, you can get your keys back from me once sobriety has been proven.” She wiggled her fingers expectantly. Kai heaved an exaggerated sigh, but dropped his keys in her hand. “Now, welcome to the party!”

  Inside, things were much more like what I was expecting. The living room was absolutely packed with people. Nearly everyone held a red Solo cup. Music played and people danced and filtered from room to room to experience everything the party had to offer. The kitchen was stuffed with mostly jocks, engaging in drinking competitions to the sound of “Chug! Chug!” shouted at the top of their lungs. An office was packed with nearly two-dozen people watching fail videos on YouTube and laughing uproariously. A group chilled at the end of a hall, smoking near an open window.

  In short, the party was awesome. Whenever things would start to get out of hand — say the music got so loud eardrums could burst or a fight began to brew — Charlotte would materialize and flawlessly deal with the issue, redirecting everyone to the fun and celebration. She’d snatch drinks in midair before they could spill, replace ashtrays, and subtly make certain all the smoke made it out the window, all with a smile and enough charm to melt the iciest heart. And don’t even get me started on her ability to dispense snacks. You’d have an empty hand for a fraction of a second, and BAM there’d be a plate full of all your favorite foods. She was magic.

  Right when we got inside, Kai immediately dove into the tangled limbs and bodies on the dance floor, grinding up on every girl who would tolerate his attentions. It would have been creepy if it weren’t for his endearing enthusiasm, which was apparently enough for most of the girls to not only tolerate, but welcome his eager undulations.

  For a moment — just a moment, like a split second, I swear — I actually felt a little jealous. Not because I wanted to be the one Kai was grinding up on (okay, that was a little bit of it, teensy, honest), but because he had someone to dance with. Sure, I could have danced with Mel, or one of my cheerleader friends, but not that crotch-bumping, sexual-energy-fueled kind of dancin
g Kai was indulging in with such reckless abandon, with no less than three girls simultaneously, for the record. Even if I had been able to convince Adam to come with me, that would still have been off limits. In fact, having him there might have made this even more frustrating. Realizing that left a sour taste in my mouth and a kink in my gut. But I was determined not to let it get to me. So Mel and I ran off to experience the rest of the party, with all the brimming enthusiasm of two coked-out kids at a carnival.

  Upstairs the party had taken on an entirely different tone. The music could still be heard from downstairs, but muted, as were all the sounds of the party. Small groups gathered together for close-knit conversations on everything from school gossip to who would win in a fight between Batman and Spiderman. I weighed in on that last one, in favor of Spiderman, obviously, provided we discounted the various bat-vehicles. It grew quite heated there for a while. Mel had to drag me away before I punched someone in his stupid, bat-loving face.

  I walked into one room that was pitch black. Luckily my ears registered the, shall we say, intimate sounds before my hand managed to find the light switch. By the light from the hallway, I could see a small bowl filled with condoms sitting on a table. I recognized Charlotte’s trademark touch — uncannily prepared for every eventuality. Though, if my ears were as good at determining the sheer number of people in that room as I believe there were, then Charlotte better have another one of those bowls stashed somewhere, or there was a real danger of running out. I pulled the door shut, but paused for a moment before I took my hand off the doorknob. As dark as it was in there, I could easily sneak in and join the fun without any guy realizing that I wasn’t exactly a girl. I noticed Mel giving me a knowing look. I quickly let go and walked away.