Bad Kind of Love

by Remi Rose

  His sad eyes peer down into mine, begging for me to forgive him. And a part of me wanted too.

  I wanted to pretend like none of this happened, and just move on but I couldn’t. I couldn’t forgive him.

  Darting past him, I race out the door and notice that Aunt Claire’s car is missing.

  Shit.

  Bolting towards my car, I fumble around for my keys, but hear Jack sprinting towards me.

  “Becca, wait.”

  My eyes shut as I hear the anguish pour off his tongue.

  “Just talk to me, please.” He stops a few feet away from me, looking crazed as he watches my movements.

  I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t even want to be around him right now, but questions swirled around in my head that I needed answers to.

  “Why did you lie to me?”

  “I never lied to you.” He insists and I suddenly fill with rage again.

  “You’re really going to stand there and tell me you didn’t lie to me? You lied about everything! About who you are and how you knew who I was this entire time!” I go off, feeling my pulse spike.

  “Becca, listen to me.” He steps forward. “I fucked up, I know. I tried to keep my distance, but I couldn’t.”

  “You should’ve tried harder.”

  He flinches like I cut him deep, and I’m glad. The pain he was feeling was nothing compared to mine.

  “Don’t push me away, Becca.” He shakes his head, taking another step towards me. “I love you.”

  Closing my eyes, I feel more tears coming.

  This was his first time saying I love you. I should feel cheery, and overjoyed by his confession but I only feel anger.

  “This is so messed up.” I shake my head with my eyes still firmly shut. I hear his footsteps approach me from behind, and then suddenly his hand rests on the curve of my waist. My first instinct was to shrug him off, but the vulnerable state I was in made it nearly impossible.

  “Please, just…. fuck.” He groaned, squeezing the spot on my waist while brushing his mouth against the shell of my ear. “I need you.”

  “You’re the reason I sleep with a light on.” I confess, causing his grip on me to tense. “An eleven year old girl should never have to witness something like I did. You were the villain in my story and now you think that somehow you can be the good guy?”

  That was never how it worked. The girl never fell for the bad guy. It always ended with her being swept off her feet by her savior and living happily ever after. It wasn’t the other way around.

  If it was, there’d be a trail of hearts left behind.

  “How could you think that any of this was okay?” I force my body to spin around, and catch his sorrowful stare.

  “It’s not okay, nothing I did was okay.” He searches my eyes with hopeful intent, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of caving in.

  Everything about our situation was so wrong. I felt used, betrayed but most of all, so fucking angry.

  “But I can’t let you go, I won’t.” He demands caging me in between the car and his body. Leaning my head back, I glare up into the same eyes that tormented me as a child.

  And to this day still do.

  “You’ll have to when I leave for Georgia State.” I snarl, causing his dark brows to furrow in confusion.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I was accepted into Georgia State College, but I didn’t know how to tell you. So, instead I came up with the brilliant idea to stay here and go to some fucking community college so I could be with you…. But now I realize that was a huge mistake. I need to get as far away from you as possible.”

  My words were like a knife to his chest, pressing in deeper until his ears couldn’t bear anymore of my cruelness.

  “Don’t do this.” He bends down as anger begins to take over. “I told you once we did this, you were mine. And if you think I’m giving up on us, you’re sorely fucking mistaken.”

  His demeanor turns desperate, pinning me to the side of my car. I avert my eyes from his.

  “I was never yours.” I mutter, feeling the steam of his breath dance across my face.

  With flaring nostrils, he drops his arms from the car and takes a step backwards. I feel like I can breathe again, but my heart was too weak to do anything more.

  “Go.” He growled. “Before I change my fucking mind.”

  It didn’t take me long to hop inside my car and back out of the driveway. I couldn’t look at him as I pulled out, but the minute I was in drive, I peered out the rear view mirror.

  And got one last look at the man who shattered my heart.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Becca

  Sometimes, all I feel like I do anymore is cry.

  I haven’t cried this much since I was a little girl, but this hurt was different. It wasn’t the sting of a scratch you get after you’ve fallen off a bike. It was more intense, more painful than anything I’ve ever experienced. This hurt dug its nails into my heart, ripping and tearing until my chest was ready to explode and my body ready to give in.

  But that’s heartbreak for you.

  It came unannounced, just like when you experience the feeling of love. In retrospect, love and heartbreak happened the same way, the emotions were just different.

  As I clung onto the steering wheel, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling or splashing into my lap, creating a stain of wetness on my jeans. Jack’s betrayal was unforgivable. I felt used, dirty even knowing the man I fell in love with, was the same man who haunted my dreams.

  I wanted to hate him. I wanted to smack him until he felt the same pain I felt when I realized he wasn’t the man he said he was. But as I squeezed the leather of the steering wheel, hate was a feeling that I could never feel towards Jack.

  Even if he fucking deserved it.

  I continue to drive around town looking for any sign of my dad anywhere. After he jet off in Aunt Claire’s jeep, I had a terrible feeling he might go to the police, but luckily after driving by the station, he wasn’t there. The sun was going down and my hopes of finding him were dwindling. But as I turned down a sketchy road on the outskirts of town, my aunt’s jeep sticking out like a sore thumb. It sat parked in front of an old warehouse building.

  It looked straight out of a horror movie, shattered windows, an old dilapidated roof that appeared ready to cave in and a chain link fence that reminded me of the prison's fence. Everything about this place gave me the fucking creeps and whatever was going on inside had to be illegal.

  Pulling up behind the jeep, I shut off the car and peer out the windows for any glimpse of my dad. The last thing I wanted to do was go inside the eerie building, but I had a strong feeling he was in there.

  And up to no fucking good.

  Wiping at my wet cheeks, I muster up all my courage and hop out of the car. The sounds of barking dogs echo in the air and you could smell something foul. My nose scrunches up immediately, but as I round my car and find a small gap through the fence, the smell was the least of my concerns.

  I notice a tall burly man round the corner of the warehouse, dressed in all black. He halts to a stop when he sees me standing by the fence.

  “This is private fucking property.” He seethes, reaching down onto his belt and pulling out a firearm. It’s hanging loose at his side, but I find myself lifting my arms up in fear.

  “I’m… I’m looking for my dad.” I cry. “He’s parked right out front.” I point towards the jeep, and the man’s eyes follow my movement.

  “Who’s your dad?” He grunts while tilting his head at me.

  “Shane.” I respond. “Shane O’Connor.”

  His lips twitch, and soon his gun is placed back in its holder on his hip.

  “Come with me.” His monotone voice reverberates toward me, but I’m reluctant to follow him.

  “Is he inside?” I ask.

  He appears almost frustrated by my question as his brows furrow.

  “Yes, now come.” He demands again. />
  “Can’t… can’t you just tell him to come outside?” I beg, staring into his dark eyes that grew colder as I continued to disobey his command.

  “Come, now.” He orders taking a long stride towards me.

  Fear got the best of me and I quickly crouched down to go back under the gap, but the firm grasp of a hand on my arm stopped me

  “Scream and I’ll hurt you.” He growls before tugging me towards him.

  The sting of his strong hold had me yelping in pain, but the terror of who this man was and what he was going to do with me was even worse. His dark hair was cut short, almost military like as I observed him up close. He wasn’t an ugly man but a deep scar ran down the side of his face, dragging down the length of his neck.It made him appear sinister.

  Pulling me across the yard, he kicks open the door and drags me inside the dinghy building.

  “Where are you taking me?” I whisper as my heart pounds wildly against my breastbone.

  “To the boss.” He grunts without acknowledging me.

  What the fuck did I get myself into?

  As I’m led down a narrow hallway of flickering lights and scattered trash everywhere, he pounds his fist onto a door and it soon opens.

  “Why, who have we here?” A blonde man with a skull tattooed on his face observes me with a playful gleam in his eye.

  Recoiling back from his heavy stare, I’m pushed hard into the room until I fall onto my knees in a loud thud.

  “O’Connor’s daughter.” Scar face responds as he enters the room.

  With my head down, I notice my body is shaking uncontrollably. My fingers vibrate against the cold cement, and the feeling of prying eyes sends shivers down my spine.

  “Becca?” I hear the small whisper of my dad from the opposite side of the room.

  Instantly lifting my head, I find him sitting in a folding chair in front of the desk. He looks beyond mortified as I lay on my knees and soon rises in his chair.

  “She has nothing to do with this.” He shouts to the men behind me, but my eyes lock onto someone else.

  The person who is perched behind the desk with a smug look across his face. What looks like it used to be black hair was now greying at the sides while the top flopped over his forehead, giving him a more youthful appearance than his actual age.

  “From what you tell me, she has everything to do with this.” His eyes never waver from mine, observing me head to toe with familiar dark eyes.

  “Stand up.” The blonde grasps under my shoulder and pulls me up.

  “Let her go.” My dad shouts but this time it’s directed at the man at the desk. “I came here alone. I didn’t expect her to follow me.”

  His sad eyes connect with mine, but I’m jerked hard and brought closer to the desk.

  “Ky, seat her in the chair.” The older man nods and pulls me toward the seat and I plop down. Ky removes his grip, but stands so closely behind me that I can feel his body against the back of the chair.

  “Do you know who I am, Becca?” He leans over the desk a tad with a slight smirk across his face.

  “No.” I respond shaking my head.

  His chin lifts and his eyes meet my dad’s before focusing back on me.

  “Your father’s never mentioned me before?” He asks, astonished.

  Confused, I shake my head again.

  Leaning back in his chair, he brings his hands up to rest behind his head, but his intense stare still burns through me.

  “I can see why he’s so fascinated with you.” He tilts his head to the side, while my gaze flickers over to my dad’s.

  “Who?” My brows knit together.

  “My son.”

  All the air in the room welters out and I’m left breathing in the moldy walls and the man who’s pressed up behind me.

  “Your teacher or, should I say, lover?” He raises a dark brow and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. “Your father filled me in on everything.”

  My head whips in my dad’s direction and all the color seemed to have drained from his face.

  Why the hell would my dad need to talk to him?

  “You look confused darling.” His Boston accent rings in my ears, and the laughter from behind me causes my body to tense.

  “Why… what is my dad doing talking to you?” I stumble over the words along the way.

  Rising out of his chair, I notice the uncanny resemblance between the two. Both tall, with dark hair and devilish ways about them that were terrifying.

  “Where do I begin…” He rubs a finger along his jawline before circling his desk and stopping directly in front of me. “Your father and I have known one another for quite some time now.”

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I peer up at him watching as he pulls a large knife from his side and drops it onto the desk.

  “Are you two friends?” I question as the knife rattles on the desk before falling still.

  “Not exactly.” He scratches at the stubble on his chin as a menacing smile forms across his lips. “Something was stolen from me years ago.”

  “Stolen?” I glance between the both of them, when suddenly he leans forward.

  “Surely you remember that night.” His stare cuts through mine. “The night you met my son.”

  Oh my god.

  It was them, his men that came to my house that night.

  “He stole those drugs from you, didn’t he?” It comes out barely audible but the satisfied gleam he gives me causes my body to recoil.

  “Smart girl, O’Connor.” He winks at my dad who snarls in response.

  But what I didn’t understand was why my dad was here? Surely he wouldn’t be that stupid to visit the people he stole drugs from.

  “So what is this? Some drug cartel?” I keep engaging him and he seems more than interested in talking.

  “I guess you could call it that.” He nods. “But, I like to refer to it as an empire.”

  Thoughts jumbled through my head, when the realization that Jack was a part of this delusion hit me. He was the leader’s son, most likely next of kin but what made him leave?

  “And, Jack...” I swallow. “He was a part of it?”

  Smiling, he drops his head with a chuckle. “My son was loyal to a fault, you see. In the beginning he wanted this life, embraced it even but as time passed his heart got in the way of his job.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The night him and my men went to your house, neither your father or you were supposed to come out alive.”

  My breathing hitched as I stared at him in horror. Jack wasn’t the devil after all, his father was.

  His face turned angry as a scowl replaced his grin.

  “Instead of following orders, his heart got in the way of the mission.” He pushed off the desk, and began to circle around my chair. The man behind me was shoved away and in seconds, a cold body was thrust up against my back. “He met a little girl with fire in her eyes that saved both of their lives.”

  My heart wouldn’t stop pounding, it was on an endless loop as realization and memories of that night came flooding in.

  “You wanted us dead?” I whisper as my eyes fluttered.

  “I wanted to prove a point.” I felt his words vibrate down my chair.

  “Then why are we still alive?”

  I wanted to turn in my seat and gauge his reaction but the feeling of his hands on my shoulders stopped me.

  “Because of my son.”

  All the air rushed out of my body, and the feeling of his hands on me dissipated into nothing. I was completely numb from head to toe, my steady breaths echoed in the room and I was brought back to that night.

  Jack saved us.

  Saved me.

  “The deal was to leave the both of you alone and let you live your lives as long as your father never came back here.” He grunts as my eyes immediately fly to my dad’s. “But here we are.”

  Why the hell would my dad risk coming here then?

  My head drops and his hold on me t
ightens.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not going to kill you.” He reassures. “Whatever’s going on between you and Jack is far more interesting than dealing with two dead bodies.”

  I try pulling my shoulder out of his hand, but my strength is nothing compared to his.

  “Now tell me, was it easy for him to get you in bed or…”

  “Shut your fucking mouth, Fitzgerald!” My dad bellows but the sound of pistols smacking my dad’s face causes him to drop to his knees.

  “Dad!” I scream trying to fight my way out of the chair, but I’m going nowhere. I kick, I claw, but his grip on me is too strong.

  “Easy, angel.” He coo’s in my ear causing my stomach to churn. “My son might be fond of you, but I won’t hesitate to put a bullet through your temple.”

  My body freezes, and his grip loosens into a gentle caress. “Now, Shane.” He announces to my dad who’s gripping his face as blood flows freely down his chin. “Tell your daughter why you're here.”

  My dad lifts his chin, but no words are spoken.

  “Tell her.” He growls, dragging a single digit down the collar of my neck and down towards the swell of my breasts. I felt the bile rise up in my throat as my begging eyes connected with my dad’s.

  Groaning, he watches the movement and appears ready to rip his finger off.

  “To get him away from you.” He shouts. “I came to get Jack away from you.”

  “And what did you want me to do with him?” He presses as blood continues to gush from my dad’s face.

  “Anything… anything to keep him away.”

  He thought by coming to Jack’s father that he would somehow make him go away?

  Was my father really that naive?

  “You have nothing to do with him anyway!” My dad shouts.

  “Our relationship has nothing to do with this!” He spits from behind me. “Stand up.” He growls, dragging me up from the chair. My hair gets caught in his grip and I yelp in pain.

  “What about her?” He motions towards me as I’m being pulled toward my dad. “Your daughter isn’t so fucking innocent in this.”

  “She’s still in high school!” He shouts bloody murder. “He fucking manipulated her.”

  I whimper as I’m shoved toward my father. His arms immediately circle around me and I feel my skin get wet with his blood.