Smile Like You Mean It (Charlotte Reynolds Book 1)

by Willow Hadley

  His voice doesn’t sound bitter, but everything he says and does makes me want to know him more. He hands Sebastian my new phone and hits me with the most stunning smile I’ve ever seen. Holy crap. His eyes are intense as ever, and his smile lights up his entire face. And oh god, he has dimples!

  Acting like I don’t have a million butterflies in my stomach, I turn to watch Sebastian put his number into the phone. It only takes him a few seconds before he hands it off to Elliot. I’m not sure what to do with myself now. There’s still one more bag of clothes to hang up and a bunch of stuff to put away in the dresser. Plus, I haven’t touched any of my makeup, hair stuff, or anything that needs to be put in the bathroom.

  I tap my fingers against my lips and look back and forth between the stuff on the bed and the boys sitting on the floor. Liam gives me this super adorable smile and pats the space between him and Grayson under the window. I’m glad I don’t have to keep over-thinking what I should do next, and I’m even happier that they’re still acting like they want to hang out with me.

  I still feel awkward when I sit down between them. There’s enough room for me to sit so that I’m not touching either one of them, but they’re still pretty close. Grayson seems nervous when he meets my eyes, and it almost looks like he’s pushing his tongue against his lip ring.

  He hands me the cell phone and quietly whispers, “Here.”

  I’m only holding it for a second when Liam holds out his hand. Before he does anything or puts his number in, he asks, “Have you had an iPhone before?”

  It never seemed like that big of a thing to me, but now I feel extremely stupid. My voice comes out so quietly that I’m surprised Liam can hear me. “I’ve never had any phone before.”

  Liam doesn’t falter and smiles pleasantly. He holds the phone in front of me and shows me how to unlock it, set the lock-screen with a passcode, make calls, go on the internet, and pull up contacts and messages. Under the messages icon, I see four messages from the boys who have already added their numbers. Liam messages himself and shows me how to add a contact. He’s super sweet about all of it. He has a way of talking that makes everything sound extremely simple without making me feel dumb. And again, I’m completely in awe that he doesn’t seem to be judging me for being a weirdo.

  “Show her how to download apps!” Grayson lightly kicks Liam’s foot.

  With our backs against the wall, they’re still almost a head taller than me and their legs are stretched out way longer than mine. I’ve been entirely focused on Liam for the past few minutes, so I finally look up to see what the other boys are doing. Sebastian and Remy are sitting closer together, looking at the same cell phone, and Elliot’s sitting with his legs crossed right in front of us, watching us with a grin on his face.

  When I smile shyly at him, Elliot tilts his head a tiny bit. “Did you have a computer before?”

  I nod my head, and Liam says, “Okay, cool! There’s pretty much an app for everything now. Did you have any social media accounts like Twitter or Instagram? Facebook?”

  I shake my head, but I can’t hide my curiosity and excitedly blurt, “Is there an app for Pinterest?”

  Elliot and Grayson chuckle. Before I can feel too embarrassed, Grayson smiles at me and shakes his head. “God, you’re such a girl. My moms are going to want to be your best friend.”

  Liam shows me how to search for apps and begins downloading Pinterest. “Anything else?”

  It only takes Liam a few minutes to download Goodreads, Spotify, YouTube, and Wattpad for me. When I have the phone back in my hand, I feel so appreciative. I smile warmly and genuinely at him. “Thank you, Liam.”

  His lips part slightly and his cheeks redden. “You’re, um, you’re welcome.”

  I really want to play on my new phone, but I still have a lot of stuff laying on the bed that I need to put away. So, I stand up and finish hanging the rest of my skirts, dresses, and blouses, and move on to putting away pajamas, socks, stockings, tights, scarves, and workout clothes into the dresser.

  Once I’m finished with everything except for the stuff I need to put in the bathroom, I follow the boys downstairs. They start talking about playing video games, but Sebastian seems unsure until I promise I don’t mind. I spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch next to Elliot, playing on my phone while the boys play their game. They offer to give me a turn several times, which is really sweet, but like last night and upstairs in my room today, I feel incredibly peaceful and happy just being around them and listening to them talk.

  Today was seriously perfect.

  Chapter Six

  I startle awake from a nightmare, feeling completely panicked until I remember where I am.

  I’ve been here a few days now. Almost a week, actually, and it still feels completely surreal whenever I wake up and realize how much my life has changed in such a short amount of time. I grab my phone from the bedside table and hold it close to my face to check what time it is. Just after three in the morning.

  It’s not like I really expect to see any messages, especially in the middle of the night like this. But I still feel slightly disappointed when I see no new notifications. After shopping and hanging out with Sebastian and his friends Saturday night, I really haven’t seen or heard much from any of the guys. Grayson has come over a few times, but Sebastian always leaves with him almost immediately. I’m pretty sure Sebastian’s avoiding me, and I haven’t seen the other three boys at all. I’m trying not to take it personally, and it’s stupid that my feelings are hurt in the first place. I figured this would happen. It’s exactly what I expected when I first showed up here.

  I quietly get out of bed so I can go and use the bathroom. I’m quick about it, trying not to make much noise so as not to wake Sebastian or Arthur. So, I nearly have a heart attack when I open the bathroom door only to come face to face with Sebastian in the hallway. He seems just as surprised to see me, jumping slightly.

  “Holy shit, you scared me,” I whisper.

  Sebastian chuckles, suppressing a yawn. “I’ve never heard you curse before.”

  I stare at him in bewilderment. I don’t know if it’s because it’s so late or because it’s dark in the hallway, but I bravely whisper back, “Well, it’s not like we’ve really talked much.”

  Sebastian rocks back and forth on his feet without responding. I quickly move away from the bathroom doorway so he can go in, and he grabs my hand before I can go back into my room.

  He drops my hand to brush his fingers through his hair when I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Sorry, um, let me go to the bathroom really fast and then can we talk for a minute?”

  I stand in the hallway outside my bedroom door awkwardly while I wait for him. I’m still so sleepy and my brain is sort of muddled from the nightmare I had. I can’t imagine what Sebastian wants to say to me, and it makes me nervous.

  When he comes out of the bathroom, he seems relieved to see me still waiting. I stand up straighter and nervously tap my fingers against my legs. I wonder if we’re going to talk in the hallway like this, but Sebastian at towards Arthur’s door and mumbles, “Um…”

  I step into my room and turn on the small lamp on the bedside table before gesturing that he can come in. Sebastian’s eyes go straight to my bed, but he sits down on the floor. I sit down in front of him, wishing my vision wasn’t so blurry. But I’m too sleepy to put in my contacts, and there is no way in hell I’m pulling my glasses out.

  When he doesn’t say anything, I yawn and whisper, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  He stares at me for a few more seconds before answering. “I guess I just feel kind of bad.” I raise my eyebrows again and he runs his hand through his hair. “For making it seem like I’m ignoring you.”

  “Oh.” I blink and look down at my blurry hands in my lap. “It’s okay. You don’t need to feel bad for anything. I know I just showed up here out of nowhere, and it’s not like you were really given a choice over having to share your house and bathroo
m.”

  Sebastian shakes his head and raises his voice the tiniest bit. “No, I don’t care about that. I’ve always felt like this house was too big, and it’s felt even bigger and emptier since my mom died. That’s why the guys are always over here.”

  I’m really glad that he’s not upset about my being here, but I can’t think of anything else to say other than, “I’m sorry about your mom.”

  Sebastian barely grazes his fingers over my hand, soft as a feather. He lowers his voice again. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

  I turn my hand over and lace my fingers through his. He squeezes my hand softly and we’re both quiet. I wish I could see his eyes more clearly right now, because I’m sure they look pretty. But I’m also glad I can’t see the expression on his face. I’ve never felt closer to someone than I do in this moment, knowing we understand each other’s pain.

  Sebastian clears his throat, and he doesn’t let go of my hand. “Anyways, the guys have been bugging the crap out of me the past few days about hanging out with you. I just wasn’t sure…”

  I pull my hand away and bring my knees up against my chest. I make a weird humming noise before mumbling, “I know I’m really awkward. I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang out with me.”

  “What? No, hold on. God, I suck at talking to girls. We all want to hang out with you. I want to hang out with you! It was just, Sunday morning when you were still asleep, Arthur heard me and Grayson talking about inviting you to go to the gym with us. He said we should leave you alone for a little while and let you get adjusted, and like, he was afraid the five of us were overwhelming you on Saturday.”

  I’m so relieved. I’ve been worrying so much the past few days and over-analyzing everything I said and did in front of the guys to make them not like me. I can’t really blame my uncle. “Poor Arthur. It’s my own fault, really. I know my file probably says I’m not good in social situations because I hardly ever talk and because of all the fights I’ve gotten into.”

  Sebastian’s smile widens and he whispers, “You’re talking right now.”

  I shrug and hug my knees tighter while smiling nervously at him. “This probably sounds stupid and doesn’t make sense, but it’s easier with you and your friends. With most people I freeze up.” I put my hand over my mouth to cover a yawn and add, “Plus, you caught me when I’m too sleepy to filter myself.”

  He laughs quietly. “I know what you mean. It’s a lot easier to talk to you like this in the middle of the night, especially when the guys aren’t here saying dumb shit to you and acting like idiots.”

  I snicker, thinking of Elliot’s teasing and silly jokes. “Don’t worry about that. I think you guys are really cool.”

  Sebastian shakes his head and laughs a little louder than a whisper. “We’re not cool at all!”

  I disagree, but I’m not going to argue with him about it. I just smile, and he smiles back at me as he begins to mess with his hair again.

  “So, um, would you want to hang out with us tomorrow? Remy and Liam have the day off work, and Elliot doesn’t have football practice. They’ll probably come over first thing in the morning.”

  “Yeah, I’d love to!”

  Sebastian grins and exclaims in an excited whisper, “Okay, awesome!” He rubs his hands on his knees and chuckles nervously. “I guess I should let you get back to sleep now.”

  We both stand up and stare at each other awkwardly for a moment. When he starts backing towards the door, I murmur, “Thank you, Sebastian.”

  “Good night, Charlotte.”

  Hours later, I wake up feeling super groggy. After talking to Sebastian so late, I felt too anxious and excited to go back to sleep right away. When I finally did, I ended up having multiple nightmares again, and now I feel like crap.

  I decide to get up out of bed for the day, not bothering to check what time it is. As soon as I walk out of my bedroom, I hear laughter coming from downstairs. My heart skips a beat when I remember that Sebastian said the boys will be here this morning. I can’t tell how many of them are downstairs, but the sound definitely motivates me to start getting ready for the day.

  I look at myself in the mirror as soon as I walk into the bathroom, but my vision is blurrier than usual with my headache. I quickly use the toilet, wash my hands, and splash water on my face before pulling out the case for my contact lenses.

  As I’m grabbing the first contact, my gaze catches on something small and black next to the sink from the corner of my eye. I can’t see it clearly, but I assume it’s a spider and jump up, clumsily dropping the entire contact case in the sink in the process.

  “Oh no!” I exclaim, and grab the case in alarm. It’s completely empty now, and I frantically feel around in the sink. I panic when I don’t feel anything. I’m gonna have to put my glasses on to see clearly, and I pray the contacts are there and I just can’t find them.

  When I turn to walk out of the bathroom, I hit my leg on the cupboard I left open and somehow trip, and I fall against the door.

  I’m so stupid and it hurts so badly that I shout without thinking, “Holy fucking shit!”

  And oh god, I already hear someone running up the stairs before I’ve made it to my room. I’m mortified, but I try to focus on finding my glasses so I can get this humiliation over with as quickly as possible.

  I’m kneeling on the ground next to my dresser when I hear a light knock on my open door and Sebastian’s hesitant voice. “Charlotte? Is, um, everything okay?”

  I turn my head to see Sebastian and Grayson standing in the doorway. I feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment and mumble, “Just don’t look at me for a few minutes.”

  It’s quiet for about two seconds until Grayson asks, “Oh, are you, uh, on your period?”

  I whip my head around and make a face at him. “What? No…” I see Sebastian shaking his head at Grayson, but I’m seriously so confused. “How did you even come to that conclusion?”

  Neither boy responds, so I turn around and open the bottom drawer. It takes me a few seconds to rummage around my old backpack to find my glasses case. I wish they would leave, at least until I can hopefully find my contacts. But I’ve already embarrassed myself, so I guess it doesn’t matter.

  I put the glasses on and blink at the guys, finally able to see them more clearly. They’re blushing, which makes me feel a little better since my face is almost definitely red too.

  “I dropped my contacts in the sink because I thought I saw a spider, and then I tripped, so that’s why I yelled.”

  There’s a slight pause, and then they start laughing.

  Sebastian’s eyes are all squinty from laughing so hard. “I didn’t even realize you wore contacts!”

  Grayson smirks and asks, “Do you need us to kill the spider for you?”

  I groan and answer Sebastian first. “I’m pretty much blind without them. I could barely see you last night when we were talking.” Then I meet Grayson’s light green eyes and nod my head. “I don’t even know if it actually was a spider, but um, yeah. Please.”

  They continue laughing and follow me into the bathroom. To my chagrin, the ‘spider’ turns out to be nothing more than a fuzzy piece of lint. I don’t know or care how it got there, but I’m pissed off at myself.

  Grayson picks up the lint and gives me a teasing grin. “There, I got it.”

  I can’t help giggling. He looks so cute, and I really don’t mind that they’re teasing me. I totally deserve it for being such a moron. I look in the sink. Only one of my contacts is there, barely sticking out of the drain. I pick it up triumphantly, but I’m distraught to see that it’s somehow ripped nearly in half.

  I can’t hide the distressed expression on my face when I meet the boys’ eyes in the mirror.

  Sebastian grimaces sympathetically. “Well, at least you have your glasses. We’ll ask Arthur later today to order new contacts for you.”

  I look at myself in the mirror in horror. Not only is my hair a complete mess, but my glasses seriously ma
ke me look like the biggest nerd ever. “They’re so ugly though.”

  Grayson chuckles and shakes his head. “Nah, you look really cute.”

  I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. I definitely do not look cute right now, but he did call me hot the other day. I give him a shy smile, and decide to stop thinking about it. It doesn’t matter anyways. I want to be friends with these guys. The last thing I need to be doing is wondering if they like me or think I’m cute.

  As we all walk out of the bathroom, Sebastian smiles warmly at me. “Elliot, Liam, and Remy will probably be over in, like, half an hour. We’re gonna grab a late breakfast and go downtown to the arcade. Did you still want to come with us?”

  Yes, I definitely want to go with them, but my stomach twists at the idea of eating out again. It was fun for the first day or two that I was here, but god, I want some real food. Even the fridge and pantry downstairs are full of mostly snack type foods or frozen dinners.

  “Do you guys, um, always eat out?”

  Sebastian blinks at me for a second. “Oh, well, kind of?” He brushes a hand through his hair and laughs like he’s nervous. “None of us can really cook, and Grayson’s the only one with parents who do. And they think we eat too much, so we’re not invited over that often for dinner.”

  I perk up enthusiastically. Finally, I’ve figured out how I can start repaying Arthur and the guys for being so freaking nice. “I can cook!”

  Sebastian and Grayson glance at each other, and Sebastian shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that.”

  I make my way down the stairs, not surprised when the boys follow me. “I want to! I mean, if you guys are okay with that.”

  Grayson laughs from just behind me. “Fuck yeah, dude!”

  Chapter Seven

  Once we’re downstairs in the kitchen, Grayson and Sebastian sit at the island and watch me search through the fridge, freezer, and pantry. I’ve been too nervous to really look in depth at what food there is to eat since I’ve been here. Now I’m making a list in my head of stuff to buy. I didn’t plan on using my debit card again so soon after all of the clothes shopping, but I’m glad I can at least use it for something useful like this.