Unspoken Rules

by Eliah Greenwood

  “I love you, too,” I say, emotional.

  “Is that a yes?” he teases. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

  “What do you think?”

  I let our mouths connect, unable to wipe the smile from my face. I try my best to kiss him through the overflowing joy pouring out of me, but we’re both smiling like absolute idiots. With every passing second, the soft and sweet kisses become heated, insistent. The tension keeps climbing, reaching a level I know all too well.

  Haze’s hands climb under my shirt. He sucks my lower lip in between his teeth as his fingers gently brush my skin. They stop right under my breast. He pulls on my waist to get me to straddle him, which I do without a second thought. I can barely recognize myself when I start grinding provocatively against him, rocking my body back and forth and causing an obvious bulge to rise in his jeans. His breathing grows heavier, and he clenches his jaw. I know that look.

  He’s not letting me go this time.

  He raises his eyebrows and gets up without a warning, lifting me up along with him. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, feeling his hands on my ass as he walks and kisses me harder. It feels so easy. So effortless. I know exactly where he’s taking me. I know what’s going to happen, but I’m not afraid anymore. Because this time, there’s nothing stopping us. This time…

  We’re official.

  14

  Burning Desires

  Haze kicks the partially closed bedroom door open and lays me down on the bed roughly. We resume kissing like we’ll never get to feel each other again, and his fingers venture under my shirt, brushing my stomach on the way up. He kisses down my jaw, his tongue searing the crook of my neck and igniting a blaze only he can put out. I flutter under him, light moans falling from my mouth.

  If my skin is fire, his lips are gasoline.

  When he pulls away and stares, I know he’s once again admiring his work.

  “I hate you for that, by the way.” I punch him in the arm. His smile grows bigger.

  “What? I told you. You’re mine. I want the world to know.” He slowly brushes the purple marks above my collarbone with the tip of his index finger and wets his lips.

  Boy, do you need ChapStick, or are you trying to turn me on?

  I need a T-shirt with that quote.

  “Okay, that’s cute and all, but do that again and I’ll make your face a giant hickey,” I threaten, and he chuckles, leaning forward to kiss me again.

  Before I know it, my shirt is over my head and on the bedroom floor. My jeans quickly follow. He squeezes his hand under me, and easily unclasps my bra. I’m thrown off by the fact that he’s better than me. I’ve been struggling with my bra since the day I was old enough to wear one, but Haze didn’t even bat an eye.

  That’s because he’s got experience, Winter. You think you’re the first one? He’s unhooked many bras. He’s seen many bodies. You’re nothing new.

  I despise the voice in my head telling me that this isn’t as special to him as it is to me. I’m ripped away from my thoughts when I notice him staring at me.

  “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t complete his task, his eyebrows drawn and the worry on his face unmissable.

  “Nothing…” I lower my eyes to my body. Now is so not the time to be feeling like this. Why am I doing this right now? We’re together. Together as in a couple.

  Haze is my boyfriend.

  That still doesn’t register.

  He must think that you’re at least a little special if the guy who doesn’t commit committed to you, Winter.

  “Bullshit. Something’s bothering you. What is it?”

  “I… It’s just… This is nothing new.”

  I can already hear him scolding me when the words break free.

  “What do you mean?” He frowns.

  “You know, this… me.” I shift uncomfortably and curse myself for feeling this way. I can’t even put words on what I’m feeling. It sounds so lame. It didn’t get to this level yesterday. I thought about it, but it didn’t bother me that much. Probably because I had the safety of my underwear. I wasn’t going to be fully vulnerable. In a way, I could still hide.

  My body language seems to make things clearer. I can tell he understands when realization fills his gaze.

  “Seriously? Is that what you think? That you’re nothing new?” He’s a mixture of angry and confused.

  “It’s just… you’ve been with a lot of people.”

  “So? You have, too,” he says.

  “It was just one,” I whisper.

  His eyes grow at my sentence, but he tries to hide it. I think he always knew it, deep down, but he just needed confirmation. For a second, my inexperience seems to scare him.

  He inhales a sharp breath.

  “Do you think that I did this with any girl?” He pauses, reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. He lifts them up to get me to stare. “Or this…” He slowly leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead. “What about this? You think I did that with them?”

  He pulls my face closer and brings my mouth to his. My stomach flutters. I kiss him back, but he pulls away quickly, careful not to let the tension rise.

  “I never, ever kiss during sex. I never looked into these girls’ eyes. Not once. It’s too intimate. So if you think that you’re nothing new, you’re wrong. This is more than new. This is a first. Winter, I might know sex, but I’ve never known someone like you.”

  I can feel the pit in my throat melting away with every word. I’m baffled by what he just said to me, completely dumbfounded by how adorable he can be when he tries.

  He closes the distance between us and kisses me again, only to whisper something in my ear a few seconds later.

  “You see, the difference is… I might’ve wanted them for a few hours, but I could want you for the rest of my life.”

  My mouth flies open.

  Haze’s eyes immediately portray worry at my reaction.

  “That sounded way less like rushing things in my head, I swear,” he says rapidly and I chuckle.

  Is this real? Did Haze Adams just get scared that commitment would scare me away?

  It’s official. The world is upside down.

  His words spin around in my head. I might’ve wanted them for a few hours, but I could want you for the rest of my life.

  This is without a doubt the cutest thing anyone will ever say to me in my entire existence. Yes, will. I’m claiming right here, right now, that this will never be topped. That no one else will make me feel the way he just did with a few words.

  Ever.

  Haze just won that award.

  But he also won something else.

  Without a word or warning, I slam my lips to his. He seems surprised but immediately grants me access to his mouth, kissing me back. I let my hands explore his chest, and he grunts when my fingers tug at the black elastic waistband of his boxers.

  I want him.

  I’m done being afraid.

  With his lips still on mine, he finishes what he started and removes my bra, throwing it all the way across the room.

  Wow, if he was worried that I’d want to put my clothes back on, no need to worry anymore.

  My bra’s in another country by now.

  He places a hand on my uncovered chest, and with just the touch of a finger, he makes me regret waiting so long. He slightly pinches my nipple, his mouth disconnecting from mine and focusing on the newly exposed area. I bite back a gasp. His tongue twirls around my left breast, sending jolts of energy to my lower stomach.

  His fingers find the path they were on the day before and lead the way to my panties. He looks up at me. I know the look in his eyes—he’s asking me if I want him to.

  I nod and he pulls on the light fabric to remove it. I’m completely naked, letting him see a side of me I’ve never shown anyone before, because yes, no one’s really seen me naked. Not even my first time. It was pitch-black; you couldn’t see shit.

  But now I’m exposed in front of Haze
in the most defenseless way a human can be.

  He looks up at me for approval. I give it to him, and he smiles mischievously. He firmly wraps his arms around my thighs and pulls them apart. He fixes his gaze on me, and a million thoughts cross my mind. What is he thinking? Is it okay? I never really thought I’d be self-conscious about well, down there…

  “You’re fucking perfect, Winter.” He takes his lower lip between his teeth. My useless questions are blown to pieces when I see the way he’s looking at me.

  He looks at me the way I look at cheesecake.

  I disconnect from reality when he leans in and I feel his mouth against me. He starts doing what he’s proved to be so good at: circles, his tongue quickly swirling around me and sending me to cloud nine. If I thought what he did before was good, I clearly hadn’t felt this.

  When I feel him inserting a finger inside me, it seems we don’t have yesterday’s problem. He effortlessly adds a second one and goes back to the motion that was incredibly effective last night. He starts curling in and out of me, and I chew on my lower lip to stop myself from moaning. Haze stops abruptly and looks up at me.

  “Don’t.”

  “What?” I say, coming out of a trance.

  “You did that yesterday, too. Don’t hold back. I want to hear you moan.” His voice is firm.

  I feel the embarrassment rush to my cheeks. He’s doing it again. I never pictured myself to be a “dirty talk” kind of girl, but with Haze… all of my beliefs fade away. It’s just… the way he says it. I don’t know why my instinct is to repress any noise I want to make. It’s automatic.

  Haze picks up where things left off, and before I know it, I’m throwing my head back and swallowing yet another moan.

  “I told you not to do that.” He stops again, the authority in his voice sending shivers down my spine.

  “Or what?”

  I can’t believe the words that just came out of my mouth. He raises an eyebrow.

  “What did you just say?”

  “You heard me,” I say, challenging him in every way possible. I can tell he’s a bit taken aback by my response. He doesn’t say a word. Instead he gives me one look.

  And that one look… is enough to make me regret challenging him.

  I’m in trouble.

  “Fine.”

  He starts moving his fingers in and out of me so fast that I have to grip the sheets to contain myself. My stomach clenches in pleasure, and he scoffs at my miserable attempt to resist him. I know I don’t stand a chance.

  “Play strong all you want. I’m not going to stop until I hear you moan for me,” he says and goes back down on me, his tongue moving like it knows exactly how to end me. I arch my back, unable to take it anymore. The mix of his tongue, dirty mouth, and fingers finally result in a loud moan escaping my trembling lips.

  Shit.

  He smirks.

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

  I want to punch the cocky grin off his face.

  “I hate you,” I whisper under my breath, and he cackles.

  “Do you? Well, looks like your body didn’t get the memo.”

  He’s right. Even if I wanted to deny it, the moisture between my legs would betray me. Minutes later, I know I’m not far from the bliss I experienced yesterday, but the need to be as close to him as I can possibly be outgrows the urge to climax. I want to feel him. Now.

  “Take it off.” I look down at him, and he instantly knows.

  “What’s the magic word?” he asks. He’s not going to stop torturing me.

  “Really?” I pant.

  “What’s the magic word?” He speeds up his pace in and out of me to the point of making it impossible to even form a sentence.

  “Shit, Haze!” I throw my head back.

  “Say it,” he says, and I can’t fight him anymore.

  I give in. “Please.”

  He smiles, satisfied with himself, and slides his boxers down to his feet. Now, just like I didn’t expect Haze to be bad in bed, I also didn’t expect him to be small. But it’s a whole other story seeing it with my own eyes. You mean to tell me that this has to fit inside me?

  My worries die down when I feel the familiar wave of ecstasy building up in my stomach. My body starts convulsing uncontrollably. Haze finishes the job, his tongue spinning around me so relentlessly that I have no choice but to come undone all over again. Every trace of self-control in my being vanishes. Speechless, I lie there with widened eyes.

  This never gets old…

  Haze gives me a second to catch my breath, but all I can think about is how ready he is. That doesn’t look like fun. It must hurt at this point. Before I can talk myself out of it, I let my hand move downward and circle him. He sucks in a breath, surprised. He’s warm. Firm. I can feel him throbbing under my fingers. I tighten my hold on him and he clenches his jaw. I’ve never touched him in that way before.

  “Not yet, baby,” he says and moves my hand away. “There’s something else I want to do first.”

  I know we’re approaching a turning point when he gets protection out of a drawer on the nightstand. He says he’s clean, but it’s a risk that’s not worth taking. Not to mention, I’m not trying to get pregnant when I can’t even find my other sock. I’ll learn to take care of myself, first.

  He quickly slides the latex down his length and gazes at me hesitantly. His eyes are asking me if I’m sure. I nod and quiver when he guides himself closer and I feel him press against me.

  “Haze, wait.” I blurt.

  He stops, a worried look on his face. “Now, where have I heard that before?”

  I grin. He’s referring to what I said last night.

  “If we do this, there’s no going back. No more running away because you’re scared. No more doubts, no more secrets. We’re all in. Are you ready for that?”

  He smiles like he finds me adorable.

  “Oh, Kingston…” He pauses. “We both know there was no going back since the second I laid eyes on you.”

  Then he pushes himself inside me.

  I immediately gasp at the overwhelming sensation and bite on my lip. Haze stills himself and clenches his jaw. This is… indescribable.

  “Shit, Winter, you’re so…” I don’t give him a chance to finish and kiss him. I know what he was going to say. That’s to be expected since I’ve only ever let one person do that before.

  “It’s going to be hard to move,” he breathes. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “It’s okay. I’m okay. I promise.” I place a small peck on his lips, and he looks deeply into my eyes as if to make sure that I’m telling the truth. He starts moving again, slowly squeezing in and out of me and picking up the pace with every second that goes by. My first time only hurt because I wasn’t ready or comfortable. It was awkward, cold. There was no pleasure, but this feels great even through the initial ache.

  “You feel so fucking good,” he hisses, and a gazillion butterflies collide in my belly. I struggle to adjust to his size at first but the dampness his fingers created quickly helps me adapt. Every time he lets himself go faster and the pain diminishes, he slows himself back down.

  “Winter, I… I don’t know if I can go slow.” He lays his mouth on my collarbone, probably trying to think of something else. “You drive me crazy. I can’t…” He stops moving. “I want to be good to you. I just need to calm down.”

  He seems ashamed, and my heart drums in my chest at the thought that he literally feels bad for how much he wants me. I love him so much.

  “Then don’t.” I hold my breath.

  He frowns and I kiss him.

  “Don’t be good to me,” I whisper against his lips.

  It’s nothing. It only lasts a second. It’s just a look.

  But we both know what it means.

  Oh, it’s on.

  Without a word, he yanks my hair around his fingers and starts pounding into me almost violently.

  Jesus Christ!

  My eyes roll back at his
reckless yet calculated thrusting. He moves like he knows every weak point. Every sweet spot. The pain completely disappears. I can’t help but moan and give him what he so desperately wanted earlier: I call out his name. Over and over again. He goes faster every time I say it, like his name rolling off my tongue is music to his ears. He starts kissing my neck, then transfers to my earlobe, biting it and making me shiver tremendously.

  “So, this is how you like it, huh?” he smirks. “Duly noted.”

  I flush and moan again when he pushes deeper. I know what he really means is so you like it rough?

  And I do.

  God, what has this guy turned me into?

  I shudder while he does things I didn’t even think were possible to me. I know we won’t last long. We’ve been waiting forever for this moment.

  This is like thinking about the food you’ve left in the fridge all day, coming home to see that it’s still there and finally getting to eat it. I really need to stop making food comparisons.

  After a while, spasms take over him, and I know he’s close. I whisper in his ear not to hold back, and he asks me if I’m sure. I love that he’s thinking about me first. I nod and he gives in, speeding up the pace and blowing my mind as he grunts into my ear.

  “Fuck, Winter.” He rams himself inside me unbelievably fast until he starts to tremble. Then, he fills me with one last powerful shove and collapses on top of me. He nestles his head on my shoulder and breathes heavily, still lightly shaking. I love seeing him like this. The look on his face is everything. We’re both panting, high on each other.

  “We have a problem,” he says the last thing I expected to hear.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I’m never going to let you leave this bed again.”

  I flush and let out a chuckle.

  “That good, huh?” I tease.

  “Beyond good.” He kisses the corner of my mouth and rolls off me, pulling me into his arms. We don’t move one bit, holding each other in complete silence as I listen to his heartbeat and he traces circles on my skin.