“Stop!”
I can hear in his voice that he doesn’t mean it.
Not even a little.
“Why?” I pull away, worried that I did something wrong.
“Because I won’t be able to hold it,” he pants, taking a deep breath as though he needs a second to regain his composure.
Confused, I say, “What would you hold it for?”
His eyebrows shoot up to his forehead like he’s wondering how I can even be asking such a question. Then, he half-smiles as though he finds me adorable and wraps a hand around my wrist to get me off the shower floor. I get back up, confusion plastered on my face. Without a warning, he spins me around and bends me over.
“For this.”
He uses two fingers to make sure that I’m ready, and I gasp. Oh my God. I’ll never, ever know what to expect from this guy. I look back at him and conclude that he’s happy with what he found from the smile on his face. He lifts one of my legs up with his right arm, and I instinctively put both my hands on the shower wall in front of me.
“I’ve been going crazy just thinking about this moment and all the things I want to do to you since the other night. It’s not ending now,” he says, and I feel him push against my entrance from behind.
“Haze, wait.” I come to my senses. “Not without—”
“Shit, you’re right.” He stops. “Hold on.”
He lets go of me and quickly slides the shower door open. He stretches his arm out to get something on the counter. I hear the sound of a condom packaging being torn open.
“Wait, did you leave that there?” I ask and watch him slip the condom on.
“Maybe.” He beams and bends me back down.
I rest my hands on the wall again, feeling the warm water run down my spine.
“So, what? Did you plan for this to happen?” I grin, amused.
“I’m not an idiot, Kingston. Shower with my hot girlfriend? The thought crossed my mind.”
I’m about to speak again, but he shuts me up with one strong and sudden move. He grabs my waist and fills me entirely. I gasp and bite back a moan. He takes a sharp breath and stills himself, the both of us taking in every mind-blowing sensation that comes with our bodies merging. He stretches me, but it isn’t as painful as last time. I’m so ready I easily adjust to his size. When he starts moving in and out of me in the way he does so well, I ask myself, why did we wait so long to do this again?
“Does it hurt?” he says through slightly gritted teeth and slows down. The closeness between us sends my heart into an endless race. I love that he’s always concerned about me.
“I’m good. I promise.” I dig my nails into my palms while leaning against the tiled wall in front of me.
I’m more than good.
I let out a breathy moan when he uses his hand to pull my hair into a ponytail and speeds up his thrusting.
Oh my… And I thought last time was amazing.
For a second there, I almost forget that Kendrick’s right down the hall. I let the pleasure fog the truth. We’re not alone anymore. I hope that the sound of the water running is loud enough to drown out the very obvious noises we’re making. After a while, he pulls out and I wince at the emptiness he left between my legs.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Honestly?” He arches his eyebrow. He seems to be asking me if I can handle his honesty.
I nod hesitantly.
“I can’t keep watching while I fuck you.”
My mouth falls open.
He doesn’t wait for me to reprimand him on his choice of words. “I won’t last long, and I’m nowhere near done with you.”
He spins me around and my back hits the freezing wall. I can’t believe how turned on I am by his dirty mouth. I should’ve expected this from him. I should’ve known he’d be very blunt after passing the initial “I don’t want to hurt you” period.
He circles my thigh with his arm, carelessly lifting one of my legs up and kissing the corner of my mouth. Then, he smiles and fills me again. My eyes automatically close. Wow. He bites his lip in pure bliss, and I know I like this position a lot more than the previous one because it allows me to see the look on his face.
“You feel… so fucking… amazing.” He groans between each word, breathing heavily, and cups my breast with his hand.
“We’re so going to be late to the beach,” I pant.
He nuzzles his face into my neck and plants hot kisses all over my collarbone. Then, he grips my ass and pushes harder, deeper.
“Oh, I plan on it.”
Just like that, I’m reminded of why I could never take the “out” even if I wanted to. I’m reminded that I couldn’t walk through the wide-open door even if I tried. I’m reminded that I couldn’t dodge the bullet if I saw it coming.
And I’m terrified.
Because deep down…
I know it’s coming.
18
True Colors
Haze slowly turns into the parking lot situated near the shore, finds a spot, and stops the car. The engine dies in a low grumble, and he lets go of his hold on my thigh. He always holds it when he’s driving. It’s become a habit of ours. Kendrick insisted on tagging along, which annoyed Haze to the extreme. He can’t stand having him around. Says it’s like having a second child.
I have to agree. All Kendrick does is watch TV, empty the fridge, and provide us with unwelcomed remarks about Haze and Riley. But, even after all of this, deep down, I’m thankful that Kendrick’s here. I feel supported, sane. He’s the only one, apart from me, noticing Riley’s behavior, and I’d lose my mind if I was alone with Haze and his incessant unawareness. I’d probably let him convince me that I’m imagining things.
I know Kendrick secretly came with us to watch over me. He won’t admit it, but he’s worried about me getting hurt.
I am, too.
I glance at the quiet and distant beach. Riley and Jacob have been waiting for us for a while now. Haze texted her a shitty apology about being late when we got out of the shower.
I mean… it’s only five minutes.
Okay, fine, it’s thirty.
What can I say? We got a bit carried away.
My gaze shifts to the calm sea, and I smile. I might hate the girl, but she was right about one thing: getting up early means having the beach to ourselves.
“You do know that your crazy ex’s trying to ruin your relationship, right?” Kendrick casually says to Haze as we walk.
“Let me guess, you’re the one who got that idea inside Winter’s head.” Haze locks the car doors with the remote.
“Me? Are you really that dumb, Adams?” Kendrick mocks, and I capture Haze’s hand in mine as guarantee that he won’t use it to punch Kendrick. His clenched fist relaxes under my fingers, and he takes a breath, trying so hard to control himself for me.
“Remind me why I’m letting your douchebag of a cousin live in my house again?” he asks me.
“Because I need to be there for when you fuck this up and Winter leaves your ass,” Kendrick says with a smug face.
“She’s just trying to be a good mom. You’re both looking too far into this.” Haze shrugs.
“Yep, he’s really that stupid,” Kendrick adds.
When Haze sees Jacob sitting on a towel with sand all over it, his face lights up. This… this right here is one of the reasons why I can’t be mad about this. He’s not here for Riley. He’s here for his son.
“About time.” Riley smirks at Haze, completely dismissing Kendrick and me standing behind him.
“I wish that girl would eat sand and choke,” Kendrick whispers in my ear, and I hold back a laugh.
Also one of the reasons why I’m glad my cousin’s here.
We lay down the few towels we brought into a circle and sit.
“What took you so long?” Riley asks.
Kendrick scoffs. “You mean, aside from having sex in the shower and thinking they’re sneaky?”
When he says that, I’m the one who wants to eat
sand and choke. Haze and I shift uncomfortably, both thinking the same thing: Well, shit.
Riley’s mouth flies open, and her face twitches in anger.
“Excuse me?” she lets out.
This it is. She’s going to expose herself.
She notices Haze’s perplexed eyes stuck on her and covers Jacob’s ears to make it pass as if he’s the reason she’s upset. Thankfully, he’s way too young and focused on his sandcastle to even come close to understanding what’s been said. I know damn well she wasn’t being a protective parent. She was being a jealous ex-girlfriend.
Haze apologizes for Kendrick’s behavior while my cousin beams, proud of the very awkward moment he just created. Riley is careful not to address anyone but Haze for the next twenty minutes. She asks him to help Jacob with his sandcastle, making sure to exclude us and scooting closer to him on the beach towel. Kendrick and I exchange glances.
Good to know at least one guy here isn’t completely blind.
Kendrick and I decide to make a sandcastle of our own, well aware that Riley will surely cut our fingers off if we try to intervene in her picture-perfect family moment. After a few minutes of very bad sandcastle making, Haze turns to us and laughs.
“Not to be mean, guys, but… a two-year-old’s castle looks better than yours.”
Haze made a joke. That’s Riley’s cue.
Like she’s on a timer, she bursts out laughing and punches him playfully. My gaze jumps to Haze, and I try to catch his eyes. The look on my face screams “I told you. I freaking told you.” But, of course, he doesn’t look my way, his attention drifting back to Jacob and his unsteady castle.
“Are you thirsty?” Riley asks Jacob after a while.
Haze jumps at the opportunity to go get us drinks at the food stand on the opposite end of the beach. It warms my heart that he’s so caring and good with kids, but… it also destroys me that I had to find out this way.
“Not that I love your company, Kendrick, but I won’t be able to carry five drinks by myself,” Haze says, and Kendrick groans, getting up to help.
“I’ll help, too,” I say. I can feel Haze’s insistent eyes on me, but I don’t care.
I’m not staying alone with her even if you pay me back all the money I’ve spent on food in my entire life.
We’re halfway there when he says it.
“Babe…”
“What?”
“You know what. You should go back there and try to talk to her. Give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure you’ll like her if you give her a chance.”
“I highly doubt that,” I say to myself.
“Winter, please. For me. I really want you two to get along.”
I can tell it means a lot to him.
“Fine.” I roll my eyes, and he smiles. “But if it’s hell on earth, you owe me big-time.”
“Yeah, yeah. Now, get back over there.” He slaps my ass, and I grin at him before walking back to the last place I want to be.
Riley’s back is facing me. She appears to be on the phone with someone. She hasn’t noticed my presence, and I can hear what she’s saying from here. I can’t help but slow down and eavesdrop.
“What?” she asks.
Silence.
“No, of course he doesn’t know. What kind of idiot do you take me for?”
I stop dead in my tracks. Who doesn’t know?
“He won’t. I won’t let him.”
Him… Who’s him?
“Okay. I’ll catch you later, girl. Bye.” She hangs up.
So many scenarios are spinning in my head. Who is she talking about? Haze’s words return to me. Give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s probably a misunderstanding. She must be talking about a surprise she’s organizing for someone.
I take a deep breath and join her, sitting down on my towel. As much as I love Haze, I won’t force it. If she doesn’t say a word to me until the boys return, so be it. She sees me but doesn’t speak. Awkward and hateful silence it is. I get my phone out of my pocket and pretend to text.
That’s when she turns to me.
“I can’t believe you’re actually still here.”
There it is. She’s finally showing her true colors.
“Excuse me?” is all I can muster.
“Wow, you really can’t take a hint, can you? In a week tops, Haze will be mine again and you’ll be nothing but a memory.” She pushes her perfectly straight black hair over her shoulder.
I knew she was after Haze all along. But seeing her finally drop the act still shocks me. She’s got some nerve, that’s for sure. I open my mouth to speak, but she beats me to it.
“Let’s be honest. Do you seriously think that you stand a chance against me? I’m his first love, Winter. Not to mention the mother of his child. I’m the one he’s supposed to be with and you’re just…” She pauses, looking me up and down. “A filler. A distraction.”
I can’t even form a sentence.
“You may have him thinking that he’s in love with you right now, but sooner or later, he’ll come to his senses and do what’s best for Jake.”
I finally manage to get a word in. “Let me guess, what’s best is to be with you?”
She nods.
“Then what? You’re going to get married? Have a bunch more babies and live happily ever after?” I say with mockery all over my face.
“Exactly.” She smiles and fidgets with her manicured nails. “Why are you even fighting this? We both know this isn’t what you want. It never was. You don’t want to be the stepmom. You don’t want to be with a guy who has a kid at your age.”
For the first time since the beginning of her speech, she waits for a reply. But now that she wants one, I can’t give it to her.
“So please… please do us all a favor and have enough self-respect to walk away.”
My gaze shifts to Jacob, who’s playing with his toys. He’s not paying attention and is completely clueless as to how much of an awful person his mother is. How did such an evil woman create such a sweetheart?
“Or what?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Or I’ll have to get rid of you myself.”
“Do you really think that I’m scared of you?”
She laughs in a very creepy “I’ll make your death look like an accident” way and stares up at me.
Okay. I might be just a little afraid of her.
“You should be.”
I’m alerted by the sound of Kendrick and Haze’s bickering. I turn my head to see them heading toward us. They’re not holding any drinks. We got here so early the food stand probably isn’t open yet. Riley notices Haze and Kendrick approaching and looks at me with a smile on her face. Just like that, I know…
She’s going to do something.
“Why do you have to be so horrible to me?” she scolds me.
You have got to be kidding me.
“What’s going on?” Haze asks, stopping next to us.
She gets back on her feet and glares at me. I’m certain that no one could ever fall for her show, until fake tears come pouring down her cheeks and she starts sobbing.
Shit, the bitch is good.
“Nothing.” The words tumble out of my mouth.
“Nothing? You call threatening me nothing?” She wipes a tear away dramatically.
“What? That’s insane. I didn’t threaten her.”
“Oh, I’m insane? Your girlfriend just told me that I was ruining her relationship and she wanted me gone. She said that she’d do anything for things to go back to the way they were. She wants to get rid of me. Of us.” She points to Jacob and chokes on her false sobs.
“What? I didn’t say anyth—”
“More lies. How can you live with yourself? All I wanted was to reunite my son with his dad.” She starts stuffing Jacob’s toys into her beach bag.
I expect Haze to see right through her game because he knows me. He knows I would never do something like this. But when I look up at him, the understanding eyes I imagined would be point
ed at me are nowhere to be found.
His eyes are cold, torn.
“Come on, Jake. We’re leaving.” She pulls a very confused Jacob into her arms and starts to walk away. “Don’t even think about seeing your son again as long as this psycho’s in your life.”
“Riley, wait,” Haze calls out, and hearing him desperately call her name breaks me.
He believes her.
No. It can’t be.
“I told you there was nothing to worry about.” His harsh tone sends shivers down my spine. “Why did you have to make a scene?”
Kendrick intervenes. “Excuse me? Are you kidding me right now? You’re seriously going to believe that girl instead of Winter? She loves you, for some un-fucking-believable reason. There isn’t a single bad bone in her body, you know that.”
“Shut the hell up, Kendrick. I’m not talking to you,” Haze hisses angrily and turns to me.
“I can’t believe you… Tell me you’re not actually considering this. You know me. I’d never do anything to make you lose Jake. I didn’t say any of these things, she did. She said that in a week tops, you’d be together again. That I’d be out of the picture even if she had to get rid of me herself. How can you believe her?”
“I…” He stops speaking, a bit angrier with every passing second. “Fuck, I don’t know what to believe, okay?”
My heart splinters into a million pieces.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“I believed you. When everybody on the freaking planet told me not to. When every sign pointed to you being guilty. I always believed you and you can’t even believe in me for two seconds!” Tears build up in my eyes.
I wish I could stop the words coming out of my mouth. I wish I could swallow them before they do any damage. But I can’t. Because Riley’s right. Deep down, I don’t want to be the stepmom. I don’t want to be with a guy who has a kid. I tried. I really did. But it’s too much for me.
So I let them fall.
I let the words destroy us the way Riley wanted them to.
“This doesn’t work. We… We don’t work.”
His jaw drops.
Then, I walk away. No last word, no last look. I leave Haze stranded on the beach, and Kendrick follows. I wish he’d say something. I wish he’d say that he believes me. That he has no idea how he could ever doubt me in the first place, but he doesn’t. He just stands there.
Unspoken Rules Page 17