Unspoken Rules

by Eliah Greenwood

  He doesn’t reply right away, probably wondering what part of my outburst to focus on first. That’s a lot to take in.

  “I guess, what I’m trying to say is… unless you’re willing to sit down and tell me everything, and I mean everything, I don’t think a second chance is possible for us.”

  I bite my tongue and fight the urge to take it all back. Losing him once almost completely destroyed me. I can’t imagine what it’d do to me if I were to let him back into my life and get even more attached only for something like that to happen again.

  I can’t keep falling for him unless I’m sure he’ll be there to catch me.

  I’ll also be going back to Canada soon. I didn’t bring that up because I know it would make him feel pressured, and I wish he would come clean because he wants to, not because he has to.

  “You asked for time and I gave it to you, but I need you to tell me everything now. Can you do that for me?” I beg. His eyes drop to the concrete, and I know from his stance and silence that he’s not going to give me the answer I desire.

  I want nothing more than to see the pain leave his marvelous face, but I know what I’m about to do can only have the opposite effect.

  I place a gentle kiss on his cheek, fighting tears that are hell-bent on paying us a visit, and walk away. I know to anyone watching the scene, this probably would’ve seemed like my way of forgiving him.

  But it’s not.

  Far from it.

  It’s my way of saying goodbye.

  Lying on Kass’s bed, I wonder if I should start working on my will since I’m obviously not getting out of here until I’m seventy. I’ve been waiting for her to finish getting ready for an hour now. It didn’t even take me half the time that it’s taking her. I chose to wear a very simple black dress and slapped on a bit of red lipstick. Pretty bold, I know. But I wanted to try something different.

  I watch her straighten her already perfectly straight hair and absently scroll through social media. I’ve seen Rose’s party mentioned a few times already. Everybody’s going. I’m not stupid. I know Haze will probably be there, too.

  I literally have to force Kass to drop the mascara when the boys threaten to leave without us for the third time. We get in Kendrick’s car, and Will turns up the radio. Will says something about Ryder, Alex, and his girlfriend meeting us there through the blaring AC/DC music.

  Will’s the designated driver for tonight. As for Kendrick, he’s already started drinking. Will’s mouth opened so wide when he saw Kass earlier that he could’ve easily swallowed two families of flies. The reaction she got must be why she dressed up. I think she’s trying to get him to wake up. Or to torture him for not telling Kendrick about them. Now that I know about their secret, the chemistry is so obvious it seems impossible that I’m the only one noticing.

  Twenty minutes later, the car stops in front of a two-story white house with way too many people standing on its front yard. I catch myself looking for Haze’s car in the full driveway. I don’t see it. Maybe he’s not coming. An unwanted mix of relief and disappointment shoots across me, and I never thought such a combo could exist.

  We step inside the house without knocking, and the first thing I see when crossing the threshold are two girls dancing on top of the kitchen counter. I scan the crowd, recognizing many people from school and trying to stick names to the countless faces around me.

  A few girls next to the minibar notice me and elbow each other. They shamelessly stare. I recognize the tallest one.

  Natasha.

  Bianca’s best friend.

  I think I’ve seen the other two girls hang out with Bianca at school. Natasha runs a hand through her wavy ginger hair and raises an eyebrow at me. It looks like she’s thinking, “So, this is the girl who got Haze Adams to commit?”

  She gets her phone out of her pocket and starts typing. I’d bet a hundred dollars that they’re alerting Bianca, their evil clan leader, of my presence. Luckily, I’m dragged out of the room when Kass pulls on my arm and goes up to the second floor where she says Ryder, Alex, and his girlfriend are waiting for us.

  As promised, they’re standing by the pool table. We’re introduced to Mia, a short brunette with a bright smile. She keeps on cracking jokes, which instantly makes me like her. Once we get the introductions out of the way, the guys offer to go get us drinks. Kass, Mia, and I keep the conversation going until the first delicate question falls out of my cousin’s mouth.

  “So, how well do you know Alex?” is the only way she can put it.

  Mia chuckles. “If by that, you mean, do I know about the fights? Then, I know him very well.”

  “Great. She’s one of us,” I say, and the girls laugh.

  “How did you guys find out?” Mia asks.

  “Well, as far as I’m concerned, I live with a dumbass who can’t keep a secret to save his life. Wasn’t too hard to put the pieces together,” Kass says.

  “What about you?” She turns to me.

  Kass scoffs and I know she’s wondering how I’m going to summarize such a long and messy story into a few sentences.

  “Oh boy, I followed the guys when I thought they were lying about going to a party. News flash, I was right. It turns out they were going to some creepy meeting. I had no idea when I got into the car that night that it was the beginning of—”

  “An epic love story.”

  I freeze in place.

  I know that voice.

  “Haze,” I say to myself.

  I turn around and, because I’m the luckiest girl on earth, come face-to-face with the one person I was afraid to see tonight.

  Shit, he looks hot.

  It’s like the more I try to convince myself that he has no effect on me, the more handsome he looks. He’s wearing a plain black T-shirt. How is that enough to make me dizzy?

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Hello to you, too, gorgeous. I’m good. Thanks for asking.” He beams.

  “Who’s this?” Mia asks.

  I take a sip of my drink. I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.

  “Me? Oh, I’m no one. Just her future husband.”

  I start coughing, the liquor in my mouth going down the wrong pipe.

  “Don’t choke, babe. We haven’t even gotten to ’til death do us part yet.”

  Mia swallows a laugh and arches an eyebrow like she’s waiting for me to confirm his story. Problem is, I’m too busy trying not to suffocate. I finally manage to breathe properly again after a few seconds.

  Did he just say that?

  Like he can hear my every thought, he fills the distance between us, wraps his tattooed arm around my waist from behind, and presses his body to mine. I slightly gasp but don’t move away. I can’t. The truth is, I want to stay there. I wish his embrace didn’t feel this good. I wish he didn’t feel like home.

  I finally gather the strength to step away from his hold when I notice a few people staring.

  Mia laughs. “Future husband, huh?”

  “Absolutely. She just doesn’t know it yet.” He takes a sip out of the red cup in his hand.

  “Boyfriend?” Mia guesses.

  “Ex,” I correct her.

  Haze leans in just enough to brush my jaw with his lips and whisper in my ear, “Baby, you’re breaking my heart.”

  Don’t you dare shiver. Don’t you dare sh…

  Crap.

  “Excuse me.” I throw Mia a polite smile before dragging Haze to a quiet spot—or as quiet as a spot can be in such a monster party—and push him into the corner, away from prying eyes. A deep laugh leaves his lips.

  “You know, if you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was ask.” He steps dangerously close to me, and I know from his even-more-cocky-than-usual behavior that he’s had a few drinks. I’m proved right when I smell the liquor on his breath. “You look stunning, by the way.” He captures my waist with both his hands, brings our bodies together, and draws circles over my stomach with his thumb. I catch myself wishing I wasn�
��t wearing a dress just so I could feel his fingers on my skin. I can’t lie. I still want him. Bad. Special thanks to my inhibitions for bailing on me when I need them the most.

  “Don’t do that.” The words itch in my throat as I step back.

  “Do what?” He pushes a strand of my hair away from my eye.

  “Stop being so… charming. Nothing’s changed.”

  “Yet,” he taunts.

  “I thought I’d made myself clear earlier.”

  “You did. You were perfectly clear. I don’t have your trust anymore. So I’m going to get it back. I’m going to earn it.”

  “You mean you’re ready to tell me everything?” I let myself hope for a brief second. As always, he becomes uncomfortable and shuts down as he balances his weight from one foot to the other. This is my answer. “I see. Enjoy the party, Haze.”

  By the time I find Mia and Kass, the guys are back with our drinks and already done with theirs. I bring the plastic cup to my lips and take a huge sip I’ll most likely regret in a few hours. Maybe it’s the heartbreak. Maybe it’s to feel better. I don’t know. But one thing’s for sure…

  I want to forget.

  Haze

  The heat is unbearable. The house is so packed it’s nearly impossible to move around the crowd without smelling what everyone had for dinner. She doesn’t seem to mind, drinking and laughing with her friends. She’s the most beautiful girl here, and she doesn’t even know it. She’s completely clueless, as always. That’s just Winter being Winter.

  I’ve been talking with some guy from school for over an hour now, but I can’t stop glancing in her direction. Not going to lie, I only came to this lame party because I hoped that she’d be here. She says she needs space. I can give her space.

  I mean, I’m like five feet away from her.

  That’s enough space, right?

  She’s drinking a lot—like a lot—and I hate it, but I don’t have a say in anything she does anymore. Damn it, Haze. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just tell her? Why are you so messed up?

  I notice a guy from the varsity team walk by her and turn around to get a second look. He’s staring at her ass. Anger tears through me. I know exactly what he’s thinking. She’s wearing a black dress that shows off all the right curves, and I don’t know if it’s the fact that I can’t have her anymore, but I’ve never wanted to take her upstairs and make her scream my name more than in this very moment.

  This is new for me. I’ve never missed someone’s presence. Yes, I miss her body, but for the first time, I also miss… everything. I miss her sticking her freezing feet to my legs at night. I miss her smell. I even miss her trying to push me off the bed in her sleep.

  I’m brought back to reality by my phone buzzing for the twentieth time tonight. The guy I was talking to says something about needing another drink, and when I don’t reply, he walks off. I press ignore on Trevor’s call and push my phone deep in my pocket. My guys have been harassing me all day. Word that I was back in town spread a lot quicker than I would’ve liked. They weren’t supposed to find out this fast. I get it. I’ve been the worst leader possible, and I know me leaving out of nowhere and feeding them bullshit excuses is not going to go unpunished.

  I did it because they wouldn’t understand. Hell, I don’t even understand. I’ve tried, but I can’t possibly comprehend what this woman did to me. How she and only she can make me want to change. To be better…

  “Hey, sexy.” A high-pitched voice rings in my ear, and I curse under my breath.

  Bianca.

  I analyze her smudged makeup and her lipstick, that’s so bright it could blind you, then focus on her outfit. She’s definitely dressed to impress.

  “Hey,” I say, my eyes wandering back to Winter.

  “Hey? Is that all you have to say? Hey? I’ve been texting you nonstop. Did you not get my messages? Where have you been?”

  “Around.” I shrug.

  “How could you not tell me you were back in town?”

  A guy the size of a giraffe steps in front of us, his frame blocking the view. And by view, I mean Winter.

  “I was busy.” I take two steps sideways to see around him.

  Great. Guess I’ll just add “turned me into a stalker” to the list of things Winter Kingston did to me.

  “Well, now that you’re back…” She bites down on her lip. “There are other things you could get back to.”

  “Thanks, but no, thanks.”

  Winter laughs at something that Ryder douche said, and I wince. Come on, Winter, it’s so fucking obvious that he wants you. Can’t you see? I know because I used to look at you that way. I used to and I always will.

  Noticing that I’m somewhere else, Bianca follows my eyes.

  “Don’t tell me you’re hung up on the new girl.”

  I take a sip of beer as a reply.

  “I was right, wasn’t I? You two were together this whole time.”

  Well, isn’t she smart?

  “What? Are you like dating or something?”

  “We will be” is all I say.

  I’ll find a way to get her back. I have to.

  “Come on, she’s clearly flirting with that guy.” She points to Ryder, who keeps devouring Winter with his eyes, and I clench my fists. “Don’t you want to go upstai—”

  “I said no thanks!” I interrupt her. How many times am I going to have to reject her for it to stick?

  “What’s wrong? You used to like it.” She presses her breast to my arm, and her fingers trail down my chest. Her hand takes a very inappropriate direction, and I gasp. Is she insane? I’m about to push her off when she stops moving and whispers the worst four words I’ve heard today.

  “We have an audience.”

  That’s all it takes.

  My eyes jump to Winter.

  In her gaze are anger, disappointment, pain. She looks down, shakes her head, and walks off.

  Shit.

  “There. Problem solved.” Bianca grins victoriously.

  I don’t waste a second listening to her nonsense and walk around her to follow Winter—no, wait, I try, but Bianca stops me, sinking her five-foot-long fake nails into my arm.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “What don’t you get? I don’t want to fuck you,” I snap. “I didn’t even want to fuck you back then; you were just too easy. Now get the fuck out of my face.”

  I squeeze my way through the crowd, the hateful words I spat leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. That was harsh. I know it was. After telling her a hundred times that we weren’t happening, I lost my temper. I’ve tried to let her down easy, but nothing I do ever seems to work. I guess I thought maybe rejecting her the hard way would do the trick. I push all Bianca-related thoughts out of my mind and turn the corner, desperate to figure out where Winter went. I need to explain myself. She’s got this all wrong. I walk into the living room and curse at the endless sea of heads surrounding me.

  How am I ever going to find her now?

  Winter

  Sitting on a bench I found while wandering around in Rose’s backyard, I swallow the sobs filling my throat and shiver in disgust at the scene playing on a loop in my head. We aren’t dating. He’s not my boyfriend anymore, but I still couldn’t stand to see him with her. Bianca, out of all girls? That’s low.

  I hate him.

  I really, really, really hate him.

  Okay, fine. I want to hate him.

  No matter what I do, I can’t seem to convince my heart to mirror my brain. You’d think seeing Bianca try to grope him in public would pave the way for my hatred but nope, I’m still an idiot hung up on a guy I can’t want. What’s it going to take to get these feelings out of me? A freaking heart transplant?

  “There you are,” a familiar voice calls behind me.

  Ryder.

  Disappointment runs through me. Even after what happened, I hoped it would be Haze. I hoped he’d be the one following me.

  “I’m fine. Go back
inside. I just need a second.” I turn my face to conceal my teary eyes.

  “Don’t do that. Don’t push me away. I want to help.”

  “Ryder, I mean it, go back inside.”

  He doesn’t listen, sitting down next to me.

  “I’m not leaving. I saw what happened. He sucks. He doesn’t deserve you.”

  I take in his concerned features. He’s worried. That’s nice of him, but I truly wish he’d leave me alone. What part of “Go back inside” doesn’t he get?

  “Winter…” He clears his throat. “I know we might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot, but me trying to kiss you at the pub, it wasn’t…” He searches for words. “It wasn’t a part of Kendrick’s plan. It was real. I like you.”

  Awesome.

  And the award for the world’s worst timing goes to Ryder.

  “I’m way too broken to like anyone like that again, I’m sorry.” I try and reject him in the nicest way possible.

  “It’s okay. I can wait. I can fix you. I can fix what he broke.”

  When he tries to take my hand, my bullshit meter explodes. I reach a limit I knew was coming for a while. I can’t take any more. I’ve been through so much recently. I am not adding awkward unrequited love to the list.

  “I can’t do this right now. Listen, I’m flattered, I really am. But you and I… it’s not happening,” I say and get up.

  Something snaps in his eyes.

  Something I’ve never seen before.

  I start to walk away, but he jolts up, wraps his hand around my wrist, and forces me back to him.

  What the hell?

  “What are you doing? Let go,” I warn.

  He doesn’t budge.

  “Every time. Every single fucking time.” He raises his voice, obviously trapped in his own head. “It’s always the same thing, isn’t it? You’re never going to change.”