Now it was Lana’s turn to flush. “I will admit that it is not something that is easy to believe at first. But you seem to have dropped him quickly enough after you found out. It was almost like you’ve been waiting for an excuse to do it.”
“That’s the second time you’ve implied that this breakup was somehow predictable. So why don’t you say what’s on your mind and tell me why you think that?” Harper didn’t know if she was prepared to hear what Lana had to say about this. Lana didn’t know what it was like to go through life in her shoes, and Harper resented a little her sitting in judgment on her.
Lana looked down at her hands, which were neatly folded in her lap. She appeared to be choosing her words carefully. “I know what happened with Jack was devastating. I watched what it did to you, and I have been waiting for years to see you come out of it. But you haven’t. I’ve seen you put up a wall to any man who appeared to be interested in you. You let them in a little, but when they get too close, you shoved them out of your life. I had hoped that things would be different with Josh, but I can see now that they aren’t.”
Harper felt like she couldn’t breathe for a moment. Lana’s bringing up Jack brought it all back somehow. She knew that she needed to end this conversation before she said something that she might regret. Her first instinct was to lash out at Lana, to tell her that she was wrong, but she didn’t want to do it. There was a nagging feeling inside her that Lana was right. But hearing the way Lana saw her life since Jack had died made her seem pathetic.
“I don’t have time for this conversation. I need to go to Boston.” Harper skirted around the sofa, refusing to look at Lana again. She quickly went to the bedroom, hoping that Lana wouldn't follow her to continue this conversation. Lana knew nothing about the devastation that Jack’s death had on her. What was wrong with not wanting to go through that again? On the first night she and Josh had started getting to know each other he’d been shot. It wasn’t exactly a signal that Josh was going to live a long happy life.
She threw her suitcase on top of the bed and quickly threw her clothes in it. Even looking at the bed where she and Josh had spend hours making love was too painful. The room almost felt claustrophobic by the time she finished packing.
She took her suitcase back to the living room, where Lana was standing looking out the darkened window.
“I’m going now. I’ll get in touch with you about when I’ll be back.”
There was concern on Lana’s face when she turned her head away from the window to look at her.
“Are you sure you need to leave tonight? It looks like freezing rain out there, and the roads might not be safe. Why don’t you stay tonight and head to Boston tomorrow. We don’t have to talk about what happened with you and Josh if that’s what you want.”
Even if they didn't talk about Josh, it would be hanging over them all night. What Harper wanted most right now was to be out of this apartment and away from the memories of Josh that it invoked.
“I really need to leave tonight. But I promise I’ll drive carefully.” Harper quickly pulled on her heaving coat and put her boots on. She looked at Lana one last time as she hitched her purse up on her shoulder and picked up her suitcase. “I’ll be in touch soon.”
Lana nodded, and the worry on her face didn’t diminish. And it appeared that she wasn't going to say anything more. Harper tightened her grip on her suitcase as she pulled open the door and walk out of the apartment for what she knew was the last time. There was no way that she was going to be able to stay in it, not now when she’d spent so much time with Josh in there. Once the baby arrived, she would book a hotel or something, but she knew that she wouldn't be staying in the apartment again.
It was bitterly cold out and the freezing rain hitting her face stung her cheeks. She made her way around the back of the building where her car was parked. A thin layer of ice coated it and it took some time for her to scrape off the windshield and windows.
Once she got in the car a moment of doubt came over her. Was it really that urgent that she leave tonight?
She dismissed the thought. She’d be careful. She’d driven in bad weather before, and had been fine. This time wouldn’t be any different.
Once she was on the road, her car fishtailed as it hit a patch of ice. She managed to get it under control and her hands were tight on the steering wheel.
“It will be okay. Just be careful.”
She was almost out of town when a gray blur caught her out of the corner of her eye. A huge gray wolf, which looked like the same one that she’d seen in the middle of the road before, darted out and stopped in the glare of her headlights.
She slammed on the brakes and jerked the wheel to avoid hitting it. The car hit a patch of ice and she fought for control as the car went off the road. There was a loud bang and her airbag exploded from the steering wheel as the front of her car’s right front end hit a tree.
23
Josh
“I know why I am feeling out of sorts, but why do you look like you lost your best friend?”
Josh looked up to as Ben came over to where Josh was sitting in the fire station's kitchen and sat in the chair across from him. It wasn't supposed to be his night on duty, but since all he’d had to look forward to was a night thinking about how he could have done things differently with Harper, he’d volunteered to take Tyler’s shift when he’d been nowhere to be found.
“It feels like that lately.” In fact he’d lost both his woman and his best friend. “Harper has decided to end things with me.”
Ben sighed and a look of regret crossed his face. “I take it she didn’t take the revelation of your true nature at all well?”
“She says that is not the reason, but I have a hard time believing it. Something happened to her in the past, something awful and she hadn’t really gotten over it. Her fiance was shot and killed. And now it appears that she doesn’t want to take the risk of being with someone who might die on her too.”
“I’m guessing you told her about the Canergies?”
Josh nodded. “I wasn't going to but she had overheard some stuff around town and she asked me point blank why I got shot. I couldn't very well not tell her the truth at that point.”
Ben nodded. “It was for the best that you were honest. That way once she comes to terms with your nature and this stupid feud, you can move forward.”
Josh refrained from saying anything. He didn’t want to get into this with Ben. Harper’s forcing him to walk away from her was still too raw, and unfortunately, he didn't share his brother’s hope that once Harper had time to come to terms with everything that they would have a chance to be together.
He was saved from saying anything more when the alarm sounded, alerting them to a call. Josh and Ben stood up and hurried down to where their gear was stowed.
“What do we have?” Ben barked out as he looked at Derek who was on dispatch tonight.
“Car accident on Breckenridge Road. Single vehicle went off the road and hit a tree. EMS are on their way out there but they might need assistance in getting the victim out of the car.”
The crew going out to the scene were in their gear and their trucks in a matter of moments. Freezing rain slashed against the windshield of the firetruck Josh was sitting in as the wipers worked frantically to slap it away. He had no idea why people felt the need to be on the road on a night like this. Unfortunately, he had a feeling this would not be the only car accident they were called to tonight.
Once the got to Breckenridge Road, it was lit up like a Christmas tree as the lights of the emergency vehicles parked along the road flashed in the night. Josh approached one of the police officers standing in the road as Ben went toward the car.
“What’s the situation?” Josh glanced at the car again. Something about it seemed familiar and he hoped it wasn’t someone he knew in the car.
“Lone female, it appears that she slipped on a patch of ice and lost control of the vehicle. You guys are going to need to cut the ca
r in order to extract her.”
Josh nodded and went back to the truck where several of his crew members were waiting.
“She’d going to need to be extracted.” He was about to move toward where the cutting equipment was stored when he felt a firm hand on his arm. He turned to see Ben standing behind him and his face was grim.
“I think it might be a good idea if you weren’t involved in this.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Josh’s eyes darted to the car again, and his heart slammed inside his body. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“It’s Harper.”
Josh wrenched himself away from his brother and ran toward the car. Denial screamed in his mind. Ben was wrong, it couldn’t be her.
He got to the car and he could see her in profile as she sat very still in the front of the car. One of the paramedics was in the back seat, with his hands holding her head still. He knew it was a precaution, since they didn’t know what kind of injuries they were dealing with until she was out of the car. But it didn’t stop the worry from clawing at his insides.
He turned away while the paramedics did the best they could to stabilize her neck in preparation for her being cut out of the car. Once his crew used their equipment to open her side of the car like a tin can, they could safely get her out and onto a backboard.
He walked over to where Kevin stood with the cutter and went to take it out of his hand. Ben pulled him away from Kevin and inclined his head as if to tell Kevin to get a move on. Ben pulled him back to the truck.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? My woman is in that car and I need to get her out.” Josh tried to tug himself away from his brother's iron grip, but his struggles were futile.
“Hold your hand out.” The command in Ben’s voice was sharp and Josh did as he said. He didn’t know what that had to do with anything, but if it would satisfy his brother somehow and get him back to Harper sooner than he would do whatever it took.
Despite his efforts to keep it steady, his hand trembled as he held it out. “It doesn’t mean anything. I can still do my job.”
“No, you can’t. Your worry and your fear for her will make that impossible. These guys know what their doing, they’ve done this hundreds of times. Let them do their job and get her out safely.”
He resented this brother’s implication that he couldn't get her out safely, but when he heard the roar of the cutting tools as the crew worked to get her out of the car, a sick feeling blossomed in the pit of his stomach. Ben was right. Where Harper was concerned he wasn’t the least bit objective.
“I can’t lose her.” Anguish went through him at the thought of it.
“I know. And you won’t. They will get her out safely and she will be taken to the hospital. She’ll be fine.”
Josh knew that his brother was trying to offer him some comfort and reassurance that Harper would come out of this but until they knew for sure what her injuries were, there was no way of knowing if she would survive.
When the tools fell silent, he couldn’t bring himself to watch them take her out of the car. He could let them do their jobs, he could see his brother’s point in that he would be no good as far as that was concerned. But he couldn't watch them take her out of the car, because if he did, he could not be able to stop himself from interfering.
“Are you going to ride with her?” Ben’s eyes went to a spot over Josh’s shoulder and Josh turned his head to see that they had gotten her onto a backboard on a stretcher and they were now making their way out of the ditch and onto the road.
“I have to. I need to be with her.” Thankfully his brother gave a nod of understanding. He was certain that if the roles were reversed and it was Lana being loaded into an ambulance there was nothing that could keep him from her.
“I’ll come to the hospital as soon as I can. Lana needs to know about this too and we’ll be there soon.”
Josh didn’t bother to reply as he moved on hurried legs toward where they were loading Harper into the ambulance. Her eyes were closed and there were cuts on her face. The blood stood out against her too-pale skin. the anguish he was feeling must have shown on his face because one of the EMTs looked at him with understanding.
“Her vitals are good. If you’re riding with us, you'll have to get in the front so we can work.”
Josh nodded and hurried around the side of the ambulance and into the front seat. He closed his eyes as he prayed that she would be okay. The pain of their breakup paled in comparison to the pain of the thought that she could die, caused in him. If she came through this he was going to tell her how he felt about her. That was one thing that had been missing from their conversation earlier.
Even if she rejected him again, he was going to tell her that he loved her. He just needed her to be okay so he could.
24
Josh
Josh sat in the waiting room with his guts churning as he waited for word on Harper. She’d been whisked into the emergency room and the hospital staff had prevented him from following. He’d never felt so helpless in his life as when he saw the woman he loved being surrounded by doctors.
He looked up when Ben and Lana walked in. His brother handed him his shoes and he took them from him as he stood. He quickly removed his firefighting gear and put the shoes on his feet. Lana’s face was pale and he could see the same worry that was clawing at his insides reflected on her face.
“I tried to get her to stay in the apartment. I told her it wasn't safe to drive in this weather but she wouldn't listen.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that she should have tried harder, but a hard look from his brother stopped him. It wasn't Lana’s fault that she’d been out driving in that. It was his. If he‘d been honest with Harper a lot sooner about what he was, about the situation his pack was currently in, maybe she would not have felt the need to flee town on such a dangerous night.
“It’s not your fault,” Ben said as he put his arms around her. “You couldn’t have known that she would get in an accident. No one could know that.”
She buried her face in the crook of his neck and Josh looked away. Seeing how distraught she was only made the fear he had inside him worse. He looked over to the doorway of the waiting room and saw a haggard-looking Tyler standing there.
“What the hell is he doing here?” It took a moment for Josh to realize that he’d said the words out loud. The last person he expected to see in the waiting room was Tyler. A small kernel of anger curled up in his stomach. He still hadn’t forgiven his former friend for the stunt he’d pulled the other night. His actions had started into motion the chain of events that had led to what happened tonight.
A look of unease crossed Ben’s face as he set Lana away from him. “Lana, why don't you go and see if you can find us some coffee. I’m sure we aren’t going to hear anything in the next few minutes.”
She looked like she wanted to protest for a second, but when her eyes went to Tyler it appeared that she had changed her mind. She nodded and left the waiting room, giving Tyler a wide berth.
“Why are you here, Tyler?” Ben’s voice was grim and Josh stood up to stand by his brother’s side. As far as he was concerned he and Tyler were no longer friends and he was sure that Tyler felt the same way. So why was he here? Josh found it difficult to believe that he was here for moral support.
Tyler’s eyes were glued to the floor and when he lifted them Josh could see a deep regret inside him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand.”
Josh’s heart slowed to a heavy thump as cold invaded his body. “What are you sorry for?”
“The accident is my fault. I was out running, and I came to Breckenridge Road. I recognized her car and only meant to scare her. I went into the road. I only intended it to be a reminder to her, to make sure she didn’t come back. But she panicked when she saw me and crashed.”
A roaring noise went through Josh’s ears as a rage he’d never felt before raced
through his body. Tyler had done this?
“You son of a bitch.” The words roared out of Josh as he lunged at his form friend. Tyler did nothing to defend himself as Josh latched onto the front of his coat. “I’ll kill you for this.”
“Josh, no.” Ben’s was on him in a second, breaking Josh’s hold on Tyler and shoved him away. Josh charged back toward his quarry and his brother moved to stand in front of him. Josh strained against him. Couldn’t Ben understand that he needed to punish Tyler for what he had done?
“Let me go.”
“No. You don't want to do this.” Ben turned his head toward Tyler. “You get out of here. You’ve done enough damage for tonight. I’ll deal with you later.”
Tyler looked at Josh one last time before he turned on his heel and left the waiting room. Josh pulled away from Ben and straightened his shirt.
“Why did you stop me? He deserves a beating for what he’s done.”
“Maybe so, but you aren’t going to give it to him. There is too much turmoil in the pack already.” Ben moved away from him and sat down in one of the chairs lining the walls. His face was grim.
Josh took several deep breaths as he worked to calm himself down. He knew that Eloise’s death had been a blow to Tyler, but what did that have to do with Harper? He knew that Tyler blamed him for it, and perhaps because Harper was the one he had feelings for and not Eloise, it could be that Tyler blamed her too.
“How could he have been so stupid?” Josh went over to sit in a chair next to his brother.
“Grief and fear makes us do stupid things.” It appeared that was going to be the only explanation his brother could offer. “She is going to come through this and when she does you are going to have to decide what you are going to do.”
Craved By The Alpha Wolf (Firefighter Wolves Shifters Book 2) Page 10