A Hasty Decision

by Wynne Mabry

  Moira was Mrs. Annesley’s first name, which Jane and Elizabeth had both been invited to use.

  “So am I,” Mr. Darcy said. “She has been a very sensible and peaceful person to have around during trying times.”

  After an awkward moment of silence in which Elizabeth did not know what to say, he added, “I suppose I reveal too much, but then you can hardly be without your suspicions. It must be obvious to anybody who spends even a little time with us that my wife and I do not have a very harmonious relationship.”

  Elizabeth was hesitant to answer this, but she wanted to be as honest with him as she would be with any other friend. “I have noticed something of the sort,” she admitted. “I am very sorry that you are not happy in your marriage.”

  “You must not be sorry for me. It is the consequence of my own choice.”

  “But I fear that I influenced your decision,” she said in a very low voice.

  “No, it was not you. Do not think of blaming yourself for my problems. They are of my own making. Anyway, the important thing is that I must try to make the best of my situation. My marriage just needs a little work. I think my wife and I may yet find happiness together.”

  He said this in a hopeful voice, but Elizabeth was not at all convinced that he had any such idea. Apparently, he was determined not to be miserable though, and she gave him great credit for that.

  “Now, what do you say to finding out what it is that amuses our friends so much?” he cheerfully suggested.

  They went on this quest, and in a moment, he was joining in the laughter as though he had not a care in the world. She admired his resilience. Indeed, she was inclined these days to think that there was a great deal to admire about Mr. Darcy.

  A Shocking Revelation

  Georgiana came to visit Jane and Elizabeth in their home far more often than they crossed the street to the Darcy’s house, where they were never welcomed by Mrs. Darcy. Elizabeth did go there to practise music with Georgiana though. She had been taking some helpful instruction from her younger, but far more accomplished friend. Fortunately, the pianoforte was in a different room to the one which Anne and Mrs. Jenkinson used during the day, and she was usually able to go in and out of the house without seeing the two of them at all.

  On one morning, though, Anne came into the room before they had sat down at the instrument. “I am about to go out and visit Caroline and Louisa, and I would like you to come with me” she said to Georgiana. “It has been a long time since you paid a call upon them. Your friend can come to visit you another day.”

  Georgiana blush at this ill-mannered remark. “I am sure it has only been a couple of weeks,” she said. “Anyway, I see them more evenings than not.”

  “But you rarely pay much attention to them. You should not be slighting such old friends in this manner.”

  “Yet you recommend that I slight another friend instead. I will not do it, Anne. I shall make a point of having a chat with Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst the next time I see them, but today, I am otherwise engaged.”

  Anne made a sound of disgust, but she went away, although slamming the door behind her.

  “She can be such a pain,” Georgiana said with exasperation. “I must apologise for her rudeness to you.”

  “She really seems to have a particular dislike for me,” Elizabeth mused. “Do you know if I have done something to offend her?”

  Georgiana blushed again, but she answered the question. “The fact is that she thinks more of that business with your sister than anybody else does.”

  “Ah, I see. She knows about that, does she?”

  “Not from us. My brother told me about it, but nobody else. He would never have told Anne, but she heard of it from her mother.”

  “Who was told by Mr. Collins. He mentioned that in a letter. He is the one who has no discretion. Do not worry. I know that your brother is trustworthy.”

  “He stood up for you too. He told Anne that regardless of what happened he still thinks you very respectable.”

  “How very good of him.”

  “She was unpersuadable though. And on top of that, she also thinks that you are a bad influence on me.”

  “Really? In what way?”

  “You are too spirited for her liking. She would have me be as dull as she is. But you need not worry. It is only Anne who disapproves of you, and she does not count. My brother thinks that you are an excellent influence. He told Anne that I would do well to take you for a model. She did not like that.”

  “I suppose not. But I hope that I was not the cause of excessive disagreement in your family.”

  “There is always disagreement in our family, to be honest. It is a relief to admit it to you. At first Anne was just quietly disgruntled, but then she started talking more. Now she tells us what to do and complains about everything. It is not just you. She grumbles about meals, and the servants, and who is invited for dinner.” Georgiana stopped short and coloured.

  “You need not be embarrassed,” Elizabeth said. “I can guess that she objected to having my relatives to dine.”

  “She did,” Georgiana admitted. “Indeed, she made a great protest, but my brother would hear nothing of it. He said that she was to treat them with respect, but I suppose you noticed that she did not.”

  “I did.”

  “Well, I like them a great deal.”

  “I can see that. Your friendliness makes up for anything else.”

  “It was easy to be friendly to such nice people. I do not care for judging anybody by Anne’s sort of standards. She does not understand real friendships.”

  “She seems to be great friends with Mr. Bingley’s sisters.”

  “There is no affection in it, and that should be the basis of friendships. They are drawn together by a common desire to criticise and complain. Especially you. I hate to tell you this, but they also seem to dislike you.”

  “I already knew it. They have never liked me. Not since we first met, I believe.”

  “I expect you are too lively for them as well.”

  “That was my impression too.”

  “I keep excusing myself when they visit, for I will not sit and listen to the things they say about you. Friendship is also about loyalty.”

  “You are a very loyal friend,” Elizabeth said affectionately. “I am fortunate to know you.”

  “I am the fortunate one. It is such a comfort to have you and Jane to make up for Anne. I do wish one of you could have been my sister instead.”

  This was disconcerting for Elizabeth, but fortunately Georgiana laughed. “What would Mr. Bingley think if he heard me say that?” she said in a more cheerful voice. “One cannot think of Jane being married to anybody else. They are such a devoted couple.”

  Elizabeth agreed that it was as though the pair had been destined for each other, and the awkward moment passed, but it was replaced by another.

  “I believe my brother envies them. He bears it well, but I have sometimes seen a sad expression when he looks at them. He would have liked to be just as happy, and instead he has a miserable marriage.”

  “Is he very miserable,” Elizabeth asked sorrowfully.

  “I think he is at times. But you cheer him up, Lizzy. All his friends do, but I think you are a particularly good influence on his spirits, and I am glad of it. I hope you do not think I have excessively open with you, but you feel more like family than Anne.”

  “I am sorry that you cannot feel close to her.”

  “I do not mind it so much. I have a great many consolations. But I do feel it excessively for my brother. He deserved better in his marriage. Anne is not even a real wife.”

  Elizabeth looked at her friend in puzzlement.

  “I should not have said that,” Georgiana cried. “I can see that you are wondering what I meant. They are actually married. It is not that.” Her face had turned deeply red. She lowered her voice to the quietest whisper. “You know that thing which married people do. They do not.”

  Elizabeth
looked at her friend in surprise.

  “I know,” Georgiana said. “It is startling, but the worst thing is that he does not even care. She was the one who did not want him, but he did not mind.”

  Elizabeth could not say anything to this.

  “I have shocked you with my indecency,” Georgiana said sadly. “I hope you can forgive me. I never meant to tell anybody of such private things, but you looked so puzzled that I had to explain what I meant.”

  “I understand completely. I am not shocked at you. I was just feeling very sad that your brother is not happy in his marriage.”

  “It is sad. I have found it very distressing, but I do feel that a burden has been lifted by sharing my concerns with you. And naturally you will keep this in confidence. You are my brother’s friend too, and I know you will be loyal to him.”

  “Absolutely,” Elizabeth replied. “I would never betray him. You can depend upon that.”

  This ended the subject, and they turned to practicing their music, but Mr. Darcy’s situation remained on her mind throughout that day, and she was greatly distracted by her concerns for him. His marriage was even worse than she had realised. He had spoken of unhappiness, and that had indeed been evident, but now she feared that Georgiana’s idea of misery was closer to the mark. And no wonder he sometimes seemed strained if he was always being criticised and told what to do. It was not so very surprising that there was no intimacy between him and his wife, but that knowledge was troubling too.

  She thought of the cries of pleasure which she sometimes heard coming from her sister’s room. It had been made apparent to her that such closeness played a great part in a contented marriage. Mr. Darcy had none of that pleasure. Nothing of a real marriage, as Georgiana had said. There could be no children either. She felt deeply sorry for him, and for any influence she may have had upon him leading up to his proposal.

  But as she pondered his situation, another illuminating thought came to her. She was glad to know that he was not intimate with his wife. She did not like the idea of him being with another, not even the person who was entitled to have all the benefit of his affections. Somehow, her feelings for him had grown to be more than friendship. She knew this to be dreadfully wrong of her, and it was something she must conquer, but it seemed that she had fallen in love with him.

  It was hard to behave as usual when she saw him that evening. She was at first too quiet and then a little too bright and talkative in her attempts to hide the feelings of which she was newly aware. He, who had himself become so very spirited since their friendship had begun, returned her merriness with the same, and she focused upon being a cheerful and amusing friend for his benefit. It was comforting to feel that, as Georgiana had said, she was the source of some happiness for him. They could not be together, but they could be the best of friends.

  But later, in thinking over the evening she wondered if it was right for them to remain friends. Perhaps after this season, she should return to Longbourn and not remain with her sister and Mr. Bingley. She might occasionally see Mr. Darcy, but their friendship would naturally wane away.

  Only what about Georgiana? Losing the company of a good friend might be painful for her. And at a time when she was obviously in need of friendship. It was so difficult to know just what to do. The problem was that her life and Mr. Darcy’s had become entangled. That had happened so easily and naturally, but the threads would not be so easily untangled.

  A Short-Lived Truce is Followed by Another Skirmish

  “I can sit at the end of her bed and talk to her, but if I even move an inch, she quivers with fear,” Mr. Darcy said to the vicar. That was the truth, although he was intentionally neglecting to mention how many weeks had passed since he had even bothered to sit on the corner of his wife’s bed. Or that he was happy to stay away because the idea of being intimate with her felt disloyal to his love for Elizabeth.

  He knew these feelings to be disloyal to his wife though. His obligation was to her, as this chat with the vicar reminded him. He had also stopped making any effort to talk to Anne when they went out in the evenings. He used to go to the card room once or twice in an evening to pay some attention to her, but lately he had not felt like bothering.

  This would not do. He was allowing them to become very nearly estranged while living in the same house. After his visitor left, he went looking for his wife with a determination to speak pleasantly with her. It was a feeble attempt, but somewhat successful. They did not quarrel for the next couple of days, but then another incident caused further strife between them, and in a way which particularly affected him.

  He received an invitation to dine with the Gardiners, whom he now counted as excellent friends. Fortunately, he had no prior engagement for that evening, for he would not like to refuse them again. Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley were both pleased by the prospect of seeing the Gardiners again, but unsurprisingly Anne wanted no share in this invitation.

  “Dine in Cheapside!” she cried with revulsion. “I think not. Caroline told me that she went there once just for a brief visit, and it was a very lowering experience.”

  “Then I shall give them your regrets,” Mr. Darcy said, trying not to mind her reason for declining. He was glad that his wife did not desire to join the company. They would have a better time without her being present. Her refusal was rude to the Gardiners, of course, but they were not the sort of people to dwell upon a slight, especially from a person so insignificant to them. Indeed, they might be as desirous of Anne’s nonattendance as he was.

  “I do not want you to go either,” she said. “It was bad enough that you invited them here, but dining in such a disreputable neighborhood is beneath people of our stature.”

  “I am not going to Rotherhithe, you know. Cheapside is a respectable area.”

  “I have never heard of Rotherhithe. Your tone makes me doubt that I would care to know about it, but that is not the point. Cheapside cannot be called respectable. It is inhabited by tradespeople.”

  “Gracechurch Street is inhabited primarily by respectable and gentlemanly business owners. Some of them even come from well-established families. You talk as though I was going out to dine with our chimney sweep.”

  “What a dreadful notion! I think you are deliberately being disagreeable.”

  Mr. Darcy had to admit to himself that he probably was. Resisting the temptation to say that the chimney sweep would be a more entertaining dinner companion than his wife, he calmed himself and softened his tone. “The material point is that Mr. Gardiner is an extremely well-mannered gentleman in a very respectable line of trade. I am not ashamed to know him or to dine in his home as often as he likes to invite me.”

  “I shall be ashamed that you do so.”

  “Unfortunate though it is for you, that will not change my mind. You must learn to resign yourself to having a husband who does not meet your standards.”

  “My mother shall be told of this when Mrs. Jenkinson next writes to her.” As Anne would not trouble herself to write letters, everything she wished to relate to Lady Catherine was penned by her companion.

  “I shall not be guided by your mother’s opinion either. I have already taken far too much of her guidance.”

  Anne did not appear to comprehend the meaning behind those words, but he still regretted having blurted them out. If he allowed himself to speak so freely, there was no telling what he might say next. Curbing any further impulse, Mr. Darcy went to his study to write his acceptance of the Gardiner’s invitation for himself, his sister, and Mrs. Annesley.

  He very much enjoyed that evening. It was another occasion when they crowded six people into a carriage without the slightest thought of discomfort. There was merry conversation both ways and all the time in between. At dinner, there was also the sort of intelligent conversation which Mr. Darcy had appreciated the last time he dined with the Gardiners.

  Afterwards, both Elizabeth and Georgiana played to entertain the company. Although he did not say so, for it would soun
d like criticism of past performance, Mr. Darcy noticed the improvement in Elizabeth’s abilities. He had always thought she played more than adequately, even though, to her own admission, she did not practice enough, but now there was an additional finesse which had presumably resulted from those sessions with his sister. It was wonderful to watch them play together this evening, but also a little sad. They would have been very loving sisters.

  Still, he was able to take great pleasure in seeing them such good friends, and also in this happy company of which he was so fortunate to be part. Thank goodness his wife was too high and mighty to put a foot in Cheapside.

  Forever in a Moment

  The very next day, Mr. Darcy and his wife were at odds again. Another drawing room had been announced, and there was to be a grand ball at which Princess Charlotte was expected to appear. Anne was eager to talk about it at dinner, and Mr. Darcy discovered that her enthusiasm for the event had more cause than just the opportunity to see the princess.

  “I am going to make an application to present Caroline and Louisa,” she said. “Then they will be able to attend the ball with us.”

  Mr. Darcy wondered if this had been their plan all along. Had they any real friendship with his wife, or had they just been cultivating an opportunity to achieve that coveted honour? It was obvious that the three of them shared a mutual pleasure of maligning others, but Anne’s connections might well have been the primary reason for Miss Bingley’s and Mrs. Hurst’s initial attentions. Whatever the case, it looked as though they were about to reap a reward of great value to them.

  “Perhaps you might also present Mrs. Bingley as well,” he suggested. He had the sense not to include Elizabeth in this idea, but even her gentle, inoffensive sister was too much for his wife.

  “I think not,” Anne said. “Not with her scandalous background.”

  “There was never any scandal,” he protested.

  “I still think her tainted. I would be ashamed to present somebody from such a disgraceful family.”