Reach for Tomorrow

by Lurlene McDaniel

  Dullas didn’t wait for Katie’s answer. She grinned impishly and skittered away.

  Meg sat on a blanket by the lake watching her girls swim and splash. Katie, Lacey, Chelsea, and all their girls were playing keep-away with a giant beach ball. Meg was glad she could sit and watch and didn’t have to go into the water. Actually, she was glad she didn’t have to be in her bathing suit. She’d tried it on, and even though it was actually a little looser than she remembered, she still hadn’t wanted to venture out in it. Especially if there was a chance that Morgan might see her.

  “Why aren’t you swimming?”

  Eric plopped down beside her on the blanket.

  “Oh … I just didn’t feel up to it,” she answered.

  He studied her for a moment, then grinned. “Oh, it’s that girl thing, huh?”

  She gave him a blank stare, then reddened. He thought she was having her period. How embarrassing. “Can’t a person just not want to go into the water?”

  He leaned back on his elbows and offered her a lazy smile. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

  “I’m not mad.” Why was she having this conversation? It was so junior high school, and she was almost a college sophomore!

  “All right, you’re not mad and you’re not swimming. What are you doing?”

  “Reading.”

  He made a face. “Don’t you get enough of that in school? I sure do.”

  “I love to read.” She gave him a sidelong glance. “Especially poetry.”

  “Roses are red, violets are blue—” he began.

  She interrupted. “Real poetry.”

  He looked thoughtful, then said, “I think Megan’s cute, don’t you?” He flashed her another grin. “That’s poetry.”

  She had to laugh. Eric’s style was disarming. “Do you always charm your way into people’s lives?”

  “Naw, sometimes I barge right in uninvited.” He gazed at her with half-closed eyes, as if sizing her up. “I’ve been thinking, why don’t you and I go for a moonlight ride in one of the canoes some night?”

  Canoeing was the alternate activity for the campers who couldn’t go swimming for various medical reasons. Meg had paddled a girl around the lake in a canoe just the day before. Still, Eric’s offer caught her off guard. “You want to take me?”

  “Yes, you. What’s so strange about that?”

  “Nothing, I guess.”

  “Then you’ll go?”

  “Um—sure.”

  He sat straight up. “Terrific. So how about tomorrow night?”

  She ran through her obligations mentally. She was supposed to take her girls to Lacey’s cabin for board games, but she was certain Lacey could handle twelve girls on her own. “All right,” she told Eric. “Tomorrow will be fine if it’s all right with Lacey.”

  “Cool. Why don’t I meet you down here about eight-thirty? I’ll have the canoe ready to go.”

  “You’re sure you won’t tip the canoe over and drown me, now?” she joked.

  “Not in my game plan,” he said with a wink. “I like to think I’m not that klutzy.” He sprang to his feet. “Got to run right now. Almost snack time for the hordes.”

  Meg watched him lope away, feeling pretty good about herself. It had been easy to say yes to Eric. Why couldn’t she be that way with Morgan? What was it about him that made her heart beat faster and her tongue tie in knots whenever she was around him? It didn’t make sense to her.

  Chelsea dropped to her knees on the blanket and began to towel dry her hair. “I saw you talking to Eric.”

  “He just came over to say hi.”

  Chelsea sighed and sat back on her haunches. “I’d give anything if he’d stop long enough to say hi to me.”

  Meg started. “You would?”

  “I think he’s so cute.”

  Meg just nodded. She thought it best not to mention her upcoming canoe ride with him. She knew what it felt like to long for somebody to notice you and never to have him even so much as look your way. It hurt, and she wouldn’t hurt Chelsea’s feelings for anything in the world. Certainly not for Eric Lawrence. He was nice to her, but he didn’t make her pulse flutter and her heart beat faster. No way.

  SEVEN

  Meg met Eric on the shore of the lake the next evening. In the failing light, the water was the color of pale emeralds and smooth as silk. A canoe had been pulled up out of the water onto the damp ground.

  “You made it,” he said, looking pleased.

  “No problems at all,” she said. “I told Lacey I’d do double duty for her whenever she wanted it.” When Meg had asked Lacey if she could step out for the evening, Lacey hadn’t peppered her with questions. It was understood that counselors needed some “alone” time because of the intensity of their job.

  “Your yacht awaits,” Eric joked, shoving the canoe into the water and helping her into her seat. Meg looked at Eric’s broad shoulders as they started paddling across the smooth lake.

  A whippoorwill called out, and two snow-white herons lifted gracefully off the bank when the canoe glided near. Tree branches dipped low over the water, brushing the surface with lazy, leafy fingers. Tree frogs began their evening symphonies, fireflies dotted the shoreline, and overhead, stars winked on.

  “It certainly is peaceful out here.” Meg spoke quietly so as not to shatter the silence.

  “Better than church,” Eric answered over his shoulder.

  Meg found the lapping sound their paddles made comforting, and the pull on her arms as the paddle sliced through the water was invigorating.

  Since he was in front, Eric guided the canoe with his paddle, and soon Meg realized that he had a destination in mind. “Are we going somewhere in particular?” she asked.

  “Yes, straight toward that rock that’s jutting out.”

  She could see it in the gathering twilight and helped him paddle toward it. Beside the rock, Eric swung the canoe around and nudged it close to the reedy shore. He helped her out, pushed the canoe farther into the reeds, and said, “Follow me.”

  “Where are we going?” she asked. He certainly appeared to have a plan.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “It’s getting dark, hard to see.”

  “Faithful scout have fake fire,” he said, flipping out a small high-beam flashlight from his pocket and taking her hand.

  She followed him through the woods. The trail widened, then opened out into a meadow ringed by tall trees. In the center of the clearing a blanket had been spread out, and on the blanket were a picnic basket, a couple of pillows, and about half a dozen unlit candles.

  “Let me get these going,” he said, dropping down on the blanket and taking out a lighter. In seconds, the candles flickered, throwing off warm golden light that sank into darkness beyond the edge of the blanket.

  She sat beside him, amazed. “You did all this for mer?”

  “For us,” he said. “I stumbled across this place one day when I went exploring and thought it would be the perfect spot for a moonlight picnic. All I needed was the perfect girl to share it with.”

  “Why, Eric, this is just beautiful.”

  “Don’t sound so shocked. Guys know how to be romantic when they put their minds to it.” He opened the basket and brought out paper plates and a cluster of grapes. “I’ve got cheese too. And sodas. Lie back. Make yourself comfortable.”

  Meg fluffed a pillow and stretched out. Above her a thousand stars twinkled down. All she could think about was how sweet it had been of him to think up the idea. True, his presence didn’t make her heart pound the way Morgan’s did, but Eric certainly was fun to be with. He had style and imagination. “So, confess, how many girls have you done this with before me?”

  “I’m crushed,” he said popping a grape into his mouth. “This was carefully premeditated with you in mind.”

  She nibbled on a slice of cheese. “Well, I’m totally impressed. Thank you. But why me? Why not ask one of the other girls?” She was thinking about Chelsea.

&nb
sp; “Because I like you best?” He offered his explanation as a question.

  “Lacey’s prettier.”

  Eric shivered. “Cold as ice, that one. Besides, she’s got a boyfriend. Ditto Katie. I mean, who wants to run afoul of Josh? He’s nuts about that girl and would probably pound my brains in if I so much as looked at her.”

  “And Chelsea?”

  “She’s cute, but I’m not interested.”

  Meg felt let down on her friend’s behalf.

  “No, I like you best, Megan Charnell, so stop trying to pass me off to some other girl. You’re the one I want to be with. End of story.” He stretched out beside her, lacing his fingers through hers.

  She was flattered that he liked her but not quite sure how she felt about his attention. She wasn’t prepared for a summer romance. “What do you do when you’re not cooking at camp and taking girls on moonlit picnics?” she asked. “College? A full-time job?”

  “I’m starting junior college in the fall. My sister’s idea. I live with her and she thinks I need a good education, so to keep the peace, I’m going.”

  Since she loved college and learning, his answer surprised her. “Don’t you have any dreams? Anything you want to do with your life?”

  “Make a lot of money.”

  “That takes a skill.”

  He rolled over, boosted himself up on his elbows, and peered down at her face. “I can get that lecture from my sister.”

  “I didn’t mean it the way it must have sounded. I was just making conversation.” In the candlelight flickering on the side of his face, Meg could appreciate how attractive he was.

  “I’d rather go light on the conversation and …” He let the sentence trail off.

  “And what?” Her pulse began to pound.

  “I’d like to kiss you,” he said. “Can I?”

  No boy had kissed her since Donovan, and she felt woefully out of practice. “Permission granted,” she told Eric.

  He slid his arm beneath her shoulders and cradled her close. He touched her temple with his lips, sending small shivers down her spine. He kissed her softly on the forehead, then on the cheeks, and then fully on the mouth. The incredible sweetness of it all went through her like melting candle wax.

  She let him trail kisses down her neck, along her throat, then back to her mouth. She reveled in the sheer physical pleasure of the moment. When he pulled back, she didn’t even open her eyes. She was floating on a sea of warmth, and she savored it the way a hungry person savors a succulent dollop of deep, rich chocolate.

  “You taste good,” he whispered. “I really like you, Meg.”

  She couldn’t answer. Although she’d experienced physical pleasure in his arms, a part of her felt disengaged and uninvolved. And some voice inside her was saying that he had done this before, and that it worked for him. He knew how to romance a girl, all right. He knew just what to do, just what buttons to push. She was certain that many girls had fallen for his charm, enjoyed his kisses.

  “Your picnic was wonderful,” she said in his ear. “Thank you. But I really have to be getting back. You know we’re always on call around here, and I shouldn’t leave Lacey alone with my group all evening.”

  Eric’s expression turned to one of astonishment, but he recovered quickly. “Are you sure? It’s not that late. We’ve only been gone a little while.”

  “Sorry,” she said with her sweetest smile.

  If he was mad, he didn’t show it. He began to put things away. She helped him blow out the candles, pack up the basket, and fold the blanket.

  “You okay?” he asked before they started back to the canoe.

  “I’m fine, Eric. Better than I’ve been in months.”

  He grinned. “Then we can do this again?”

  She shook her head. “Probably not.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “I’m not sure I do either, but this is the way it has to be.”

  They returned to the canoe, got in, and paddled in silence back to the place they’d shoved off from. Once on land, Meg caught his hand. “Thank you, Eric. I really mean that.”

  “Um—yeah, sure,” he said, but he looked totally confused in the pale light of the half moon.

  Meg stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Then she turned and hurried back toward her cabin, leaving Eric standing on the shore, shaking his head.

  In nearby shadows, Morgan stood watching. So Eric had made a move and Meg had gone for it. Morgan felt an edgy spark of jealousy, an emotion he hadn’t felt since before Anne died. It’s a free world, he told himself. She can do anything she wants, be with anybody she wants. Still, his insides simmered.

  There was nothing he could do about it, except maybe give Eric a wide berth for the next month. The guy got on his nerves. Morgan recalled the moves he himself had once put on Anne and how she’d turned him away. At the time, he’d been hurt. Then he’d learned of her HIV status, and he had been grateful. Anne had been a wonderful girl. He missed her.

  Meg was the first girl to interest him since Anne, and she was attracted to a guy like Eric. “Figures,” Morgan said under his breath. Life just didn’t seem to have a way of working out for him. No, it surely didn’t.

  EIGHT

  Two nights later Morgan was sitting in the tack room rubbing saddle soap into a saddle thrown over a sawhorse when Josh strolled in.

  “Would you mind a little company?” Josh asked.

  “I thought there was some big movie everybody was watching tonight in the rec center,” Morgan answered. He wasn’t crazy about having company right then.

  “I can’t get into it.” Josh lowered himself in an old chair. “They won’t miss me. I just needed some fresh air. I saw your light on and I knew you weren’t at the movie.”

  “Movies bore me,” Morgan said, flipping the saddle around on the sawhorse so he could reach the other side.

  “How do you like working at the camp so far?”

  “The scenery’s pretty, but I miss the wide-open spaces of Colorado.”

  “I’d like to go out there sometime. From the pictures I see, the place looks awesome.”

  Morgan worked a few minutes in silence, then asked, “You the only one not at the movie?”

  Josh gave him a blank look. “I think so. Why do you ask?”

  “Just wondering.” Morgan was bombarded with images of Eric sitting in the dark next to Meg, or slipping out with her much as Josh had done so they could be alone.

  More silence. Josh broke it with, “You don’t like hanging around with us counselors much, do you?”

  “I like some of you more than others.”

  “Who don’t you like?”

  “Eric sort of gets under my skin.”

  “Eric’s all right. He’s kind of a party guy, but he means no harm. Just has some growing up to do.”

  Morgan grunted.

  “What about the rest of us?”

  “I’ve always liked horses better than people. They don’t talk much.”

  Josh burst out laughing. “They don’t talk at all.”

  Morgan grinned in spite of himself, dropped the polishing rag, and dragged a chair over to face Josh. “Look, I know it seems to all of you that I don’t mix. But keeping to myself is just a habit. Back home, I spend lots of time alone out on the trail. It’s easy to forget how to talk and socialize. Nothing personal.”

  In truth, Morgan liked Josh. The guy had a good head on his shoulders and seemed mature in ways the others didn’t.

  “No offense taken,” Josh said.

  “You’re sweet on Katie, aren’t you?” Now that the ice was broken, Morgan felt like talking.

  “You could say that. I love her.”

  “That’s hard to tell from a distance.”

  “Well, things between us are a little one-sided right now.” Josh leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’d change it in a heartbeat if I could.”

  “What did you do to back her off?”

  “Nothing. S
he’s just confused about her life these days … doesn’t know exactly what she wants. Her friend Lacey tells me to just be patient. That Katie’ll come to her senses soon. That I’ve got to give her plenty of space until it dawns on her that she loves me too.”

  “You believe Lacey?”

  “I’m willing to wait, I know that much. I think love is worth the wait. I know Katie’s worth the wait.”

  Morgan was intrigued. He’d never heard a guy talk so openly about his feelings. He had sometimes tried to show a girl how he felt, but saying a bunch of sappy words wasn’t his way. Maybe that was why he was reading the poetry book. So that he could feel more at ease with pretty words of love.

  “You have a brother, Morgan? A big family?”

  Morgan shook his head, feeling the old squeeze on his heart when he remembered what fate might await him within his family.

  “I had a brother once,” Josh said. “He practically raised me because our parents were drowning inside booze bottles. I never told Aaron I loved him. The last day I saw him alive, he came into our grandfather’s kitchen and told me to clean up my room. I had my face buried in a cereal bowl and didn’t even take the time to look up at him. I just resented him telling me what to do.

  “That very day, he walked out onto a football field for practice and had an aneurysm go off in his brain and died. Just like that. I would give anything in this world if I could look up and see him come through the door one more time.”

  Morgan swallowed. Josh’s story touched him, but he didn’t know how to respond.

  Josh offered a wry smile. “I guess that’s why I try my best these days to tell people just what I think. You never know when they walk out of a room if it’s going to be the last time you ever see them. That’s why I work this camp. Because I know some of these kids won’t be around next year. And I want to be sure they have the time of their life while they’re here.

  “And as long as I’m being brutally honest, I came so I could be around Katie. Because I love her. Whether she loves me or not, I still love her.”

  Morgan cleared his throat self-consciously. “I hope Katie comes to her senses real soon. A guy can’t wait forever.”