Being the Bad Boy's Victim

by Claire Monette

  “Let me go!” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at James. With my free hand, I scratched at his hand, hoping it would make him let go. Unfortunately, that all backfired when he caught my other wrist with his other hand… and threw me over his damn shoulder.

  “James, let go of…” I was cut off by my own squeal as I fell backwards onto the couch, with James sitting right next to me.

  “I’m leaving,” I snapped, standing up. Within a second, I was back to sitting, this time, with James’ hand firmly gripping one of my arms to hold me down.

  “Please, let him explain,” Matt pleaded.

  My anger softened, but nonetheless I tightly crossed my arms across my chest.

  “Five minutes,” I said after a moment of silence, looking straight at Connor.

  He licked his lips nervously and began talking, “After I dropped you off, I decided to come straight home and ice my hand, because… well, you know. So when I got here, Matt and James were out, so I was by myself. I decided to ice my hand while watching TV, and I did that for a couple of hours. Then, there was a knock at the…”

  I stood up with a scowl. “Really? This is pointless, Connor. You’re just rambling on and on.”

  “Please let me finish!” Connor exclaimed and stood up, too.

  We stared at each other for a few moments, both refusing to break eye contact. Finally, I let out a growl of frustration and sat back down, still glaring at Connor.

  “As I was saying,” Connor started again, causing me to roll my eyes at him. “I went to the door, thinking it was Matt and James and that they just forgot their key. But the second I opened the door, I was knocked out.”

  “What?” I exclaimed, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

  “Hence, the giant bump on my head,” Connor said, touching the side of his head gingerly.

  Immediately, the anger and hurt washed away, and all I felt was concern and worry.

  “Do you guys know who it was?” I asked, still having trouble processing what happened to him.

  “That’s the thing, I don’t know. And then, the next thing I knew, Matt was yelling at me, and James was telling some girl to get out of the house. Bella, you have to believe me when I say that I’d never hurt you.”

  “But you have,” I cut him off, my voice barely audible. I heard him sigh and murmur something to Matt. I didn’t move at all as Matt and James both walked away, leaving Connor and I alone.

  “Bella,” he said softly.

  I didn’t even notice him sit down next to me. “I know I’ve hurt you, but that was before. I’m sorry for all those things. I am so sorry.”

  “This is just a lot to take in,” I muttered. “So, you’re saying you were knocked out, then sexually assaulted by some girl?”

  “I know, it sounds stupid. And I’m pretty sure it was a guy who knocked me out. Bella, believe me, please. I think it was a set up.”

  “What about all the alcohol?” I asked, motioning to all the empty beer bottles, and cracked-open vodka bottle. Connor dropped his head in his hands and let out a groan.

  “It was a set up! I don’t know! I wasn’t drinking at all!” Connor pleaded.

  I nodded and stood up, wiping my hands nervously on my legs.

  “I’m going to need some time,” I shook my head slightly in a pathetic attempt to clear my head.

  “Are… are you breaking up with me?” Connor asked, now looking at me.

  “No! No I’m not,” I said quickly. “It’s just really hard to believe. I mean, why did you guys just let the girl go? She could have been dangerous!”

  “Bella, Matt walked in to find some girl on top of me, while I was completely delirious. They were more focused on what was wrong with me than the bleached blonde slut,” Connor tried to explain, yet nothing was still making any sense to me.

  “Do you understand how far off that sounds?” I stood up, running my hands roughly through my hair.

  Connor stood up as well and moved so that he was directly in front of me.

  “Bella, you need to understand something. Before I met you, yeah, I was a player and I did use girls. But you’re different, as clichéd and stupid as it sounds, for the first time, I actually have true feelings for a girl,” he passionately said, his tone soft.

  And it was hurting me, to feel the pain he was feeling. But if only he could feel the pain he was putting me through, too!

  “And?” I sighed. “Obviously, I like you, too. Hell, I may even love you… But how? How am I supposed to believe in this… this ridiculous story you just told me? Honestly, I feel like it’s making everything worse. I’d much rather that you just admit you cheated on me than make something up.”

  I watched as his expression transformed with my words, the hurt and hopelessness being replaced with anger.

  “Are you serious?” It came out as a mere whisper. “I love you, Bella, so you better fucking believe me when I say I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

  “But before…”

  “I was distraught! You weren’t giving me time to explain!” Connor exclaimed, backing away from me. I watched as he slumped down onto the stool in the kitchen, his head back in his hands.

  “Connor…”

  “You don’t even understand how much you’re hurting me.”

  I stared at his figure for a couple of seconds before the walls I had placed… Well, they broke.

  “I’m hurting you? Me? How do you think I feel? People go around telling me how dangerous you are, and how you would be bad for me. But did I listen? No! And then, I made up my mind to support you, trust you, and I decide that I’d do anything to be with you. I chose you over Liam, the boy next door, the one everyone thought I should choose. Why? Because I have never felt this way about anyone, and I couldn’t let that slip past me. Then, it seems as though the second I reach cloud nine, I am thrown back to the ground because my parents decided you’re a bad influence on me, and that I couldn’t see you anymore.”

  “Wha——”

  “Let me finish!” I snapped, ignoring the tears that were streaming down my face.

  He nodded his head lightly, allowing me to continue.

  “So, I came here. I came here to tell you what my parents said, and how I… I wasn’t going to listen to them.” I was breathing heavily as tears completely flooded my vision.

  “Bella…”

  “But,” I cut him off, looking away. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have come here. You and I? This?” I choked up a little, wiping my tears furiously as they cascaded down continuously. “This shouldn’t be so hard!”

  “Bella, I thought you said you weren’t breaking up with me.”

  I looked to see Connor standing only a few steps away. I opened my mouth to respond, but all that came out was some kind of whimper.

  Biting my lip, I simply shrugged—a sign of defeat. “I lied.”

  “Bella, no!” Connor cried out, grabbing my arm. He pulled my body flush against his, wiping my seemingly never-ending tears away with his free hand. “This isn’t fair! I would never cheat on you! I was set up! Please, please believe me!”

  I pulled myself out of his grasp, taking a couple steps back in the process. “You keep saying that! That you were set up! Who then, Connor? Who set you up?”

  He looked around, holding up his hands in defeat. “I… I don’t know.”

  “Why, huh?” I asked, my tone growing cold. “Because you have too many enemies? Is that why?”

  He winced as I said that, his eyes barely meeting mine. “Yes.”

  “Then maybe, maybe this was meant to happen.” My voice grew quieter as I stared at him, the hurt spreading through my chest as I whispered my next few words. “I can’t do this anymore. You can’t do this. We… we can't do this.”

  “Are you saying…?”

  “Yes.” My heart clenched. “Connor, I’m done. We’re done.” I turned away at that, feeling my whole body shake as the tears drenched my shirt.

  That was it. Connor and I were breaking up.


  It was almost nine, and I still hadn’t found the strength to drive myself back home. I managed to drive a couple of blocks away from Connor’s house before the tears became too much, and I found myself sitting in my car, pulling over on some empty street, and sobbing my eyes out.

  Well, sobbing is one way to put it. It was more like screaming and sobbing, if you get what I mean. I was crying so hard that small screams escaped my mouth every time I thought about what happened.

  How the hell was I supposed to get over this?

  Slowly, as minutes ticked by, the tears began to run dry, and a pounding headache replaced the uncontrollable sobs. My breathing was irregular, and every now and then, a hiccup would escape my lips. And the worst part? I liked it better when I was crying. Because then, I could just sit there and stew in misery, reflecting on how shitty I felt. The sound of a loud bing caused me to shriek and jump from my seat. Cautiously, I grabbed my phone from the back seat, looking around as I did so.

  From: Matt

  Bella, I know you’re hurt and all right now, and I wish I could be there for you. But Connor just wants to make sure you’re okay, and at home. Please respond.

  A weak, faltering smile crossed my lips at the thought of Connor actually being worried about me. Great! Good job, Bella. Way to give up on the only guy who might ever worry about you. I bit my lip as the tears started again. Luckily, I managed to force them back down.

  To: Matt

  It’s okay, I understand. And I’m fine. Just make sure Connor’s going to be okay.

  The tears that I was working on holding back erupted from my eyes, and I found myself curled up in my seat once again, crying my eyes out.

  Bing!

  From: Matt

  I will. And, Bells, I really am sorry about what happened. I just think you should know, Connor really did, and still does have feelings for you. Don’t think otherwise.

  Well, that sure helped stop the tears. Not! I tucked my knees to my chest and lay my head on them. Rocking myself back and forth, I sobbed until I could take it no longer. My eyelids were extremely heavy and I felt as if my whole face was swollen. Letting out a shaky sigh, I straightened my legs and placed my keys in the ignition.

  Knock! Knock! Knock! [Cue in the “bloody murder” scream.]

  I jumped up from my seat, screaming at the dark figure outside my window, my voice surprisingly strong for someone who had been sobbing her eyes out only moments before.

  “Bella! Bella, it’s me!”

  I stopped screaming at the sound of her voice—Anna’s voice.

  “A-Anna?” I whispered. Realizing she couldn’t hear me, I unbuckled my seatbelt, opened my door, and got out.

  “Oh, my God!” she whispered, “Y-your face.”

  Self-conscious now, I placed my hair in front of my face, even though it was already pretty dark outside. The cutting wind sliced through the air, chilling me to the bone.

  “W-What do you w-want?” I hiccupped slightly, a few stray tears escaping my eyes.

  She looked at her hands and bit her lip. “I was on a walk, and I saw you crying in your car…”

  “And? Was it not just a few hours ago that you made me feel horrible and unsure of myself? W-why do you care now?” I asked, my voice broken and dejected.

  “Listen,” she started, her eyes were fixed on the ground. “My house is down the street,” she said, motioning towards the end of the street. “I need to explain something to you.”

  I let out a weak scoff. “Seems like all everyone wants to do today is explain something to me. Believe me, that doesn’t help ever.” Then I moved to get back inside the car.

  “Wait!” Anna cried out, placing her hand on the door handle, holding it back. “Please, please let me explain everything.”

  I sighed, looking back at her. “Anna, I can’t… I can’t take any more,” I whimpered at the end, shaking as a couple of tears fell down my face.

  “You need to hear this, I promise,” she pleaded.

  And that was how I ended up sitting on her couch, wrapped in a soft blanket with a warm cup of tea in my hands. She leaned against the counter, watching me cautiously.

  “Remember when we were friends?” Anna asked softly, causing me to look up at her.

  I smiled wanly, nodding as I cradled the cup to my chest, the warm steam relaxing me. I watched as she walked over to the chair opposite me.

  “Why were you crying in your car?” she asked after a few moments of silence, her eyes fixed on me.

  I looked away before letting out a sigh. Then, I began to explain.

  A few minutes later

  “I-I’m so sorry,” Anna sniffled out, tears running down her face.

  I winced at her pained expression, not expecting that reaction. Truthfully, I was worried that she would just laugh when I finished and be happy that Connor hurt me.

  “It hurts so much,” I whimpered, looking down.

  “I can’t believe he actually went through with it,” Anna whispered. Guilt, pain, and horror flashed across her face as she stared at me, tears still flowing from her eyes.

  My ears perked up and I stared at her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  She bit her lip and looked up at me. “Okay, Bella, I’m going to tell you something… Well, it’s a shitload of something, but I need you to not interrupt me. You really, really need to hear what I have to say.” She stared at me, waiting.

  After thinking about what she said, I finally nodded my head, signaling for her to continue.

  She took a shaky breath and looked away. “Where to begin…” she muttered.

  I shifted so that I was more comfortable, bracing myself for whatever I was about to hear next.

  And let me tell you one thing, nothing, nothing could have prepared me for what she told me.

  “We were friends in the beginning, you and I. It wasn’t until after a while that I started feeling left out, that I had been replaced by you, and that Jess no longer wanted or needed me as friend,” she sighed and looked down.

  I bit the inside of my lip as the tears welled up within my eyes. Damn! I really need to stop crying.

  “Anyways, I brushed it off at first, really. Jess and I weren’t actually best friends before you came, and I have other friends. But I just got so jealous. I’ve known Jess for so long. But you two, after having met just a few days, have become almost inseparable. I felt so insecure, and I don’t know why.” She paused, looking at me. “Please don’t hate me,” she added.

  “I don’t,” I said quietly. “I just don’t understand how you could say all those things to me because you were simply just jealous. I… I just feel like there’s more.”

  “There is,” she confirmed, “and you’re going to hate me so much after I tell you all of it.”

  I flinched at her tone. It sounded dejected and already pained, as if she had already given up.

  “Don’t say that,” I whispered, “I won’t.”

  Yeah, so maybe that was a lie. From what I could tell then, she did something really bad. But I wasn’t sure, at that time, how I was going to feel after she told me whatever it was she did.

  She gulped and wiped away the stray tears trailing down her pale cheeks. “Oh really? Well, first, did you find that picture in your locker?”

  “What picture? Not that…” My eyes widened and I made a gasping noise, looking at her in horror. “You’re my stalker!” It wasn’t a question.

  “No!” she cried out, her eyes wide with alarm. “I’m not the one who took that! I was just the one who put that in your locker,” she rushed out, holding her hands up in surrender.

  I stared at her in silence, my heart pounding loudly within my chest, which felt as if it was about to burst. “Continue,” I managed to squeak out, my heart accelerating as I uttered that one small word.

  She nodded, noticeably tensing some more, as she thought about what to say.

  “I am not your stalker,” she repeated. “But in a way, I’ve been his assistant. Remem
ber what happened on Halloween? Yeah well, I wasn’t involved in that. But he was. Bella, you don’t understand how bad this is. But I promise you, I’m going to help you. I won’t let him do this to you anymore.”

  I was speechless. I mean, really, what was I supposed to say? Oh, thank you for telling me now that you’ve known all along who my stalker was and oh-so-casually have been helping him.

  “That picture pretty much proves how insane he is. He was in your house! And…” Anna continued.

  “Yeah! I’m aware of the fact that he was in my house, petting me like some kind of animal!” I snapped at her, my anger overwhelming me.

  “Bella, please, let me finish!”

  Bullshit!

  “No!” I hissed at her, standing up. “I don’t care anymore what you have to say! I’m calling the police and…” Then my mouth went dry at the sight that confronted me. Somehow, during my angry tirade, Anna pulled up her sweatshirt, revealing her bruised and scarred stomach, large bruises indicating where she had been most likely punched or kicked the most.

  “Bella, I would have told you. I wanted to tell you so badly! But he just kept hurting me…” she trailed off. “I was too scared of what he might do to me if I did tell you.”

  “Wha—— I… Anna, you…” I spluttered, stumbling on my way over to her, wincing as her bruises became more gruesome the closer I got.

  “What happened with Connor was a set up,” she whispered, her hands grasping my wrists lightly. “He wasn’t lying to you.”

  “What? But, who?” Then I jerked back in horror and nervously whispered, “It wasn’t… it wasn’t you… Was it?”

  “No!” she exclaimed. “I told him I was out with my parents. But I guess he just got desperate and found a replacement at that time. He planned it so that Connor would look like he had gotten wasted, and hooked up with some slut and cheated on you. But I promise you, it’s not true. He didn't cheat on you.”

  “So, when you said all those nasty things about Connor using me…” I trailed off, looking at her.