I wiped a tear away and then stepped back. “I love you too, Daddy.”
Turning, I walked into my mother’s arms next. She held me and whispered she loved me, and I had to fight to hold back the onslaught of tears.
When I stepped away, my mother let out a quick breath. “Well, your father brought the trunk down that had everything of yours in it. Most of it came from Nolan’s house and Amanda’s room.”
I nodded. “I think we should take it back.”
They both looked at me with a befuddled expression. “Take it back?”
I nodded. “Yes. I think Nolan and I need to decide what to do with Amanda’s things together.”
A tear slipped down my mother’s cheek. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Linnzi.”
Nolan
WHEN I GOT out of the truck, Duke came running over to me. I dropped down and let him give me his greetings.
“How was the flight back?” Truitt asked as he stood at the base of the porch steps.
“Uneventful.”
“Are you back for good?” he asked.
I nodded. “I agreed to do some consulting work for both the Air Force and NASA, so I’ll most likely be heading out every so often, but I don’t think it will be anything too bad.”
Truitt nodded.
“Where’s Belle?” I asked, glancing around.
“In the house, crashed in the kitchen. Duke wore her out.”
Laughing, I patted Duke on the side and stood. “Thank you for picking them up from Amy and Steve’s, Truitt. I just didn’t want to see anyone before I saw Linnzi.”
“Of course. Have you heard from her?”
I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I thought about her last few text messages to me. “Yes. I told her I would call when I got back into town. She told me Ryan helped her out.”
Truitt nodded. “Yeah, he told me as well. I did give him a fair warning that you would possibly kick his ass when you found out he knew where she was and didn’t say anything.”
I laughed. “He already called me and explained. I told him I would have done the same thing.”
“You’re not upset with Saryn either, then?”
With a shake of my head, I opened up the back door of my truck and grabbed a box. “Nah, man. I’m not upset with anyone. Linnzi needed her space to get her thoughts and feelings in check. I can’t blame her for that.”
“Let me grab a box.”
“You don’t have to,” I said as I watched him quickly walk up and grab another box out of the back of the truck.
“I know I don’t have to, I want to.”
Smiling, I said, “Thanks.”
After we carried all the boxes and both of my suitcases in, I stood in the living room. “It feels weird to know I’m here for good.”
Truitt gave me a quick slap on the back. “I, for one, am glad to have you home, Nolan. I’m going to take off, so you can call Linnzi. I’m sure she’s waiting for you.”
“Thanks for everything, Truitt.”
“When you and Linnzi are ready, Saryn and I would like to have you over for dinner.”
I pushed my hands into the front pockets of my jeans and nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll, um, I’ll walk you to the door.”
When I opened the front door for Truitt, he turned back and gave me a warm smile. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good.”
He opened his mouth to say something, most likely reading my face and seeing in my eyes that I was far from good. But instead of speaking, he hit me on the side of the arm and walked away.
“Later,” I called out as he got to the bottom step and jogged out to his truck. Then he tripped and nearly busted his ass, which made me laugh. A part of me wondered if he did it on purpose, but then this was Truitt we were talking about. That was just him. He rounded his truck and gave me one last wave before he climbed in and pulled off down the driveway.
With a sigh, I shut the door and walked back into the living room, surveying all the boxes Truitt helped me carry in. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with unpacking. I glanced down to Duke. “Where’s Belle?”
He looked around, and I headed to the kitchen. She wasn’t in there, and now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen her since I got home.
“Hell, I hope she didn’t get out when we were moving stuff in.”
Duke barked, and suddenly, there was Belle. Running out of the pantry and straight to me. I couldn’t help but laugh as I reached down and picked her up. “Hey, sweetheart. I bet your mommy misses you.”
My chest ached suddenly, and I had the most overwhelming need to head upstairs. I placed Belle down and pulled out my phone and stared at it. I needed to call Linnzi, but I also needed to take care of something else first.
“Let’s head upstairs, kids.”
Duke ran to the steps and was at the top of them before I even managed to climb four steps. Belle did her best to keep up with me as she climbed them.
“That’s a good girl. Keep going. Good girl,” I said as I encouraged her on.
Duke barked, clearly giving Belle the confidence boost she needed. Once she got to the top, she did a little circle and let out a puppy bark. Duke ran to my bedroom, but I turned and went the opposite way. “Come on, boy, not there.”
I stopped outside the door of what was once the nursery and let out what I knew sounded like a defeated sigh. I hadn’t been in the room since I had cleaned it all out. My hand reached for the door, and I pushed it open. Duke and Belle both ran inside, and I took one step in and stared out the giant window that overlooked the back of the ranch. You could see the rolling hills and what looked to be the first signs of spring attempting to show her face. I walked over and stared out, lost to the view and my thoughts. I closed my eyes and thought back to the day I brought Linnzi and Amanda home to this very room. How happy we had been. How happy Linnzi had been. I squeezed my eyes shut more tightly, and fought to keep the tears at bay…and lost.
“I miss you,” I whispered as I wiped at my damp cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Mandy. I’m so sorry I let you down.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Nolan.”
I spun around and nearly stumbled back when I saw Linnzi sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. She had been here the whole time. Duke and Belle were laying quietly next to her as she stroked their heads softly.
“Linnzi.” It was the only thing I could make my brain say.
She stared at me with a look that said she was trying with all her might to reach into my soul and make me believe that her words were true. “It wasn’t your fault. The accident.”
I looked away as I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Do you come into this room often?”
“N-no,” I managed to get out. “I haven’t been here since…um…since the accident. Well, when I came back for Truitt’s wedding. I had everything taken out and the room painted.” Another tear slipped free, and I quickly wiped it away.
Linnzi gave me the sweetest smile. “The rocking chair was right here. I remember sitting in it when we brought her home.”
It felt like someone kicked me right in my gut, but I nodded. “I remember.”
She sighed. “And over there was her bed, and that cute little cabinet you made sat under the window. Do you still have that cabinet?”
All I could do was nod. It was clear her memory was completely back.
She looked up at me. “Do you still have the paintings that we hung on the walls?”
Another nod, since I couldn’t seem to make myself form words, let alone speak them.
Linnzi stood, never once taking her eyes off me. She reached out her hand, and I felt a sob slip free.
“I’m so sorry, Linnzi. I’m sorry for the accident, for not telling you, for…for…”
“Staying away all those years,” she added.
My chest felt like a vise had a grip on it, and it kept turning with each word I spoke. I fought for every single breath I took. “For everything.”
> She walked up to me, her hand still stretched out, reaching for mine. She picked up my hand and looked up into my eyes, forcing me to look away. I felt my jaw muscles tighten as I tried with all my might to keep my emotions somewhat in check.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Linnzi…” I croaked out.
Her hand squeezed mine as she spoke. “Look at me, Nolan.”
My eyes closed, and I couldn’t move. Suddenly, I felt her hands on my face, and she turned my head until I was looking down at her.
“Listen to me, I want you to hear every word I’m about to say. Okay?”
I closed my eyes once more.
“Damnit. Look at me, Nolan.”
Doing as she asked, I held my breath.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Swallowing hard, I replied, “I—I promised to protect you both. I swore to you that I would…”
Linnzi reached up onto her toes and pressed her mouth to mine. I instantly wrapped my arms around her as she slid her fingers into my hair and drew me deeper into the kiss. Every ounce of guilt I felt slipped free. Every regret I had held onto for the last eight years vanished. All that mattered was this one kiss. It spoke of forgiveness, love, loss, regrets, dreams, and passion. All wrapped in one kiss from the most amazing woman I had ever known.
When Linnzi finally drew her mouth from mine, I rested my forehead against hers.
Her voice was soft and soothing as she whispered, “It wasn’t your fault. And I understand why you and my folks made the decision you did. I love you, Nolan. Do you hear what I’m saying to you? I love you.”
“I love you so much, Linnzi. You have no idea how much I love you.”
She let out a soft chuckle. “I think I know.”
I pushed a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen from her ponytail. “Are you okay?”
Drawing in a long, deep breath, she exhaled. “I think I have my own guilt I need to work through.”
I jerked my head back and stared at her. “What?”
The corners of her mouth rose slightly as she gave me a half shrug. “The whole how do you forget your child guilt has hit me pretty hard.”
“Linz.”
She pressed her finger to my lips. “No, don’t say it, Nolan. We’re both going to get through this together. Neither one of us has truly grieved the loss of our daughter, and we need to. From this point on, Nolan, we do everything together. Promise me that.”
“Oh, baby,” I said as I cupped her face and kissed her again. On her mouth, her nose, her eyes, her cheeks, her jawline. I kissed her everywhere, sprinkling words in between each kiss. “I promise you. I love you. I missed you. I’m so sorry.”
“I love you too,” she softly said, dropping her head back and letting me kiss her neck. “Will you do me a favor, Nolan?”
“Anything,” I said as I drew back and looked into her eyes.
“Will you lie down with me and hold me? I’m so tired. But I need to be in your arms.”
Before she had even finished speaking, I reached down and picked her up. Duke jumped up, which caused Belle to start barking. They both followed me out the door as I walked down the hallway.
I headed to my room, but Linnzi spoke. “No. Not this room.”
Pausing outside my bedroom door, I looked back toward the guest room. “The guest bedroom?”
She let out a weary laugh. “I went shopping with my mother this morning.”
My eyes went wide. “What?”
She laughed a bit harder, but there wasn’t really any humor in it. “I bought us a new bedroom set. It’s Farmhouse French. I find myself missing France.”
“Okay,” I said with a nod, not wanting to get too excited that she said she bought us a new bedroom set.
“Truitt, Ryan, and Roger helped move all the furniture in and out of the house.”
I stared at her, confused. “Okay.”
“Our bedroom is now the owner’s suite downstairs. It’s time we made that room ours.”
My heart dropped to my stomach, and for a moment I thought I might let go of Linnzi.
She placed her hand on the side of my face and gave me the sweetest smile. “It’s time we left the past in the past, Nolan. We need to move forward, and the only way we can do that is to stop looking back.”
I nodded and turned and headed down the steps, and then down the hall that led to my parents’ old room.
The door was partially ajar, so I pushed it open with my elbow and froze when I saw the room. It looked completely different. A large, rustic, tufted headboard in a curved shape sat in the middle of the room with matching side tables on either side. A large dresser sat across from it. Light blue curtains hung on all the windows, and a settee sat in the nook area with a blue throw rug draped over it.
“You did all of this today?”
She snuggled her head against my chest and yawned. “I did. Well, I saw the bedroom set yesterday and bought it. I arranged for them to deliver it first thing this morning. Truitt, Ryan, and Roger all moved the old furniture out and put it in the storage shed in the back. I wasn’t sure what you would want to do with it. Saryn and my mother helped me get things put up in the room. Do you like it?”
I smiled and looked down at her. “It looks like something you would like.”
She smirked. “Do you like it, though?”
Kissing her forehead, I replied, “I love it. Come on, let’s get you into bed.”
Linnzi slowly slid down my body and held onto my arms, trying to gain her balance as her feet hit the floor. “Will you undress me, Nolan?”
Without a second to spare, I quickly got to work stripping her out of her clothes. I picked her up again and carried her to the bed. I pulled back the covers and gently laid her down, then kissed her on the forehead. She sighed in contentment as she snuggled into the pillow while I covered her up.
“Will you help Belle up onto the bed?” she asked.
Smiling, I reached for the puppy and set her down next to Linnzi. Duke jumped up, did a few circles, and then planted himself at Linnzi’s feet.
“Are you going to get undressed and get into bed?” she asked, yawning again.
I didn’t realize I was tired, but suddenly it felt like I could sleep for days. I walked to the other side of the bed, took off my clothes and tossed them onto the floor near Linnzi’s. I climbed under the covers, pulled her up against me, and kissed the back of her head. “Go to sleep, princess, I’ve got you.”
Linnzi sighed and snuggled closer to me as I felt my body relax completely.
“Nolan?” she whispered.
“Yes?”
“How is it you’re here?”
“We’ll talk about it later, after you sleep.”
She nodded. Another minute went by and she asked, “Nolan?”
I pressed a kiss to her head. “Yes?”
“Did you have a funeral for Amanda?”
My body froze, and I fought to keep my voice controlled. “A small one, with me and your folks.”
“Where is she buried?”
“Here, on the ranch, next to my folks. Would you like to go and visit her grave?”
She sniffled and whispered, “Yes. I would.”
Drawing her body closer to mine, I replied, “Okay, just tell me when you want to go.”
She let out a long, deep breath. “Okay.” After a few minutes, she spoke again. “Nolan?”
“Yes?” I asked, chuckling.
“When can we get married?”
My eyes popped open, and I stared at the back of her head. I fought the urge to reach over and pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. “I’ll marry you whenever you want, Linz.”
“Let’s get married this weekend.”
“This weekend?” I asked, surprised.
“Yes. Just you and me, no one else.”
My heartbeat picked up, and I tried not to let myself get too excited at the idea of finally making Linnzi officially mine. “Where? I mean, did you hav
e a place in mind where you wanted to get married?”
She sighed happily again. “We can get the license and then have Pastor Scott marry us down by Cibolo Creek.”
My mind raced for a moment. We could easily get our marriage license, and I knew Pastor Scott would drop anything for me and Linnzi. “Are you sure?”
She turned slightly and looked at me. “Do you not want to get married that quickly?”
“Hell yes, I do. I only want to make sure you don’t want a big wedding. Before, you wanted…”
I let my words fall off into the air as she stared into my eyes and then rolled completely over until she faced me.
“All I want is to be your wife. I don’t want to pick up where we left off. I want to start new. Focus on our future. And I want to get off my birth control and let what happens happen.”
I brushed a stray piece of hair away from her face. “I love that plan.”
She smiled. “Good, then I’m going to need you to put that engagement ring back on my finger. It’s over there on the dresser.”
I kissed the tip of her nose. “I will, after you get some sleep.”
Closing her eyes, she breathed in and then exhaled as she buried herself deeper into my chest. Less than a minute later, my sleeping beauty was fast asleep in my arms.
Linnzi
THE SMELL OF something delicious drifted into the bedroom and woke me from my sleep. With a yawn and a stretch, I slowly sat up in bed to find Duke still snuggled down at my feet. Belle was missing, and so was Nolan.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. As I made my way over to the dresser, I glanced back at Duke. “I see you’re going to be my little sidekick.”
He barked, and I laughed as I pulled open one of the dresser drawers. I had somehow managed to bring most of Nolan’s clothes down that he had up in his room. It was all older stuff that he really needed to weed out, but I found an old Def Leppard t-shirt and slipped it over my head. It fell to the middle of my thighs. When I reached down for my panties, I stopped. My eyes lifted to see Duke watching me. “Don’t judge me, Duke. I haven’t seen him all week.”
He gave a low bark that made me giggle.
“Let’s go see what your daddy is making.”
Take Me Away Page 20