by Faith Gibson
“My stick figures don’t even look normal,” Bryan admitted. He had no artistic abilities whatsoever.
“I can draw a little. Why? What do you need?” Andy asked.
“I have an idea. I want to get a tattoo, and I want it to look specifically like the one on Cade’s chest with a few exceptions.” Mal’s excitement was palpable, and Bryan felt hope for Mal and Cade for the first time since Mal found out the truth about the farm.
“So, you talked to Cade?” Bryan asked, making sure he wasn’t misreading the situation.
“Not exactly. I texted him earlier, but he must be busy.” Mal shrugged. “I want to have this done soon so it has time to heal before the show in a few weeks. That’s enough time, right?”
Bryan lost a little of that hopefulness. Mal hadn’t talked to Cade, so this idea might backfire on him. Still, if Mal wanted ink, who was Bryan to stop him? “If you can find a good artist that isn’t booked. This is an important piece, and you’ll want an experienced tattooist, not an apprentice.” Bryan had dealt with enough tattoo shops to know that they often hired people who were trying to get established. His first tattoo had to be redone because the person who did the original work wasn’t as experienced as he let on. Luckily, it wasn’t a big piece, and Bryan was able to have it fixed with little trouble.
“Will you help me find someone while Andy draws it out?” Mal asked Bryan.
“Yeah, sure. Let’s eat first then we’ll get to work on it.”
Mal ate faster than Bryan had ever seen. When Mal took his dish to the sink, Andy caught Bryan’s eyes, grinning, and Bryan just shrugged. He had a good mind to call Cade and make sure everything was still okay on his end before Mal made a big mistake. Declaring your love was one thing, but doing it in such a permanent way was another. Since Mal was sitting right there, Bryan didn’t want to chance calling Cade in front of him. Instead, he looked up tattoo shops in Nashville, studied several artists and their portfolios, and read reviews on the ones who specialized in the type of tattoo Mal wanted. He was able to get Mal an appointment with one of the better-known artists who just happened to have a spot open after a cancellation.
Andy drew the design Mal wanted. Instead of simply getting the same nautical compass like the one Cade had, Mal had Andy change the letters. In place of the N, E, S, and W, Andy drew the letters of Cade’s name at the four points.
While Andy was putting the finishing touches on the drawing, Mal said, “I know I’ve been an ass, but I realized it was my own insecurities puttin’ the wedge between us and not how much money Cade has. He’s been nothin’ but givin’ and supportive, and I’ve been nothin’ but a dick. I want to do this for him, to show him how much he means to me. Cade is my compass. Wherever he is points me home.” Bryan had to admit it was an excellent idea for a tattoo once Mal explained the meaning behind it. It got him to thinking about making a permanent declaration of his own for Andy.
The change in Mal was like night and day. He no longer hid out in his office. He spent his days riding the land with Bryan and Andy. On the nights he wasn’t visiting his mom and Walt, Mal stayed downstairs and watched movies. That Sunday, Walt and Suzette came for dinner, and they brought two of Mal’s nieces with them. Matilda was still her talkative, cute self, and Bryan thoroughly enjoyed being around her. It was Megan, the three-year-old, who stole his heart. As soon as Mal brought her in the house, she reached for Bryan and didn’t turn loose until it was time to go.
Bryan caught Andy staring at the two of them together. They had talked briefly about having families when they first moved to the farm. Now, though, things were completely different. Their relationship was fresh, and they didn’t need to be considering kids yet, but if Bryan was honest with himself, he’d love nothing more than for him and Andy to raise a child or two together. Until then, he would enjoy every minute spent with his new “nieces.”
Mal’s tattoo turned out really well. Both Bryan and Andy had taken the trip to Nashville with him. Afterwards, they’d walked up and down Broadway, stopping in several of the honkytonks and having a beer while listening to live music. It was the first time they’d been back since the night at Primus, and Bryan had to grin when he thought about Andy’s ploy to make him jealous. When they got in the truck to head home, Mal asked, “Sure y’all don’t wanna check out Primus before we head home?”
“No,” they both groaned at the same time. Mal grinned at them. “That’s what I thought.” He didn’t elaborate, and neither one of them asked if he knew. Bryan did put his arm across the back of the seat, and Andy leaned a little closer on the ride home.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Andy
Andy and Bryan began to get worried as Mal’s mood slipped a little more each day into the broody man he’d been. One night while they were sitting outside on the front porch together, Bryan called Cade. When they first met the rock star, both Bryan and Andy talked to Cade usually once a week about every day stuff like his tour, the band members, cattle, the horses, and the girls. When he didn’t answer, Bryan left a message stating he just wanted to say hi since they hadn’t talked in a few days. Cade didn’t return his call, and their unease increased.
Mal wasn’t as talkative as he’d been after getting his ink, but he wasn’t hiding away in the house. That morning before they’d gotten out of bed, Bryan told Andy he was ready to ride Cochise. It was the first time he’d even mentioned getting on the Paint, but he’d ridden Callie enough, and Andy felt he was ready. If he didn’t, he would tell Bryan the truth, because there was no way he would let Bryan do anything to endanger himself. When they said something to Mal about it at breakfast, he was on board.
Mal and Bryan saddled the horses and walked them out the barn. Andy was just about to fire up Cade’s four wheeler when a UPS truck stopped at the end of the driveway.
“You want me to get it?” Andy asked.
Mal waved him off. “Nah, I got it.” He climbed atop Callie’s back and trotted down to retrieve the package.
When he came back, he slid off the side of the horse, handed the reins over to Bryan, and mumbled, “Here, please watch her.” Mal ripped the cardboard packaging open as he walked into the house.
Andy got off the ATV and took Cochise’s reins from Bryan. He led the horse into the small enclosure on the far side of the barn. Bryan followed with Callie. The horses were able to graze while waiting on Mal to come out of the house. The two of them stood propped against the rails talking about going to look for patio furniture, and that led to them discussing a new bedroom suite. They still hadn’t moved into Suzette’s bedroom, but the more Andy thought about it, the more it made sense. The two of them still wanted Mal and Cade to have made up before approaching him, even though he more than likely had figured out they were together.
When an hour passed, Bryan said, “I’m going to check on him.” Andy followed him, and when they entered the kitchen, music was floating through the house from Mal’s office. Andy waited in the hall while Bryan pushed open the door and asked, “Hey, Boss. You okay in here?”
Since Andy was outside the door, he couldn’t see Mal. When he didn’t answer, Andy took the opportunity to listen to the song. Andy didn’t recognize the song, but the voice sounded familiar. When he began listening to the lyrics, it dawned on him who was singing – Cade. The words coming from the speaker of the laptop were so sad, Andy’s heart hurt for Mal.
When the song was over, Bryan grumbled, “Aw hell, Mal. I thought you talked to him.”
“He wouldn’t call me back,” Mal whispered, but it was loud enough for Andy to hear. Both men were silent, and Andy wondered if they were just staring at each other.
Andy was just about to make his presence known when Bryan said, “Holy shit!” Andy entered the room and went to Bryan when he held out some papers for Andy to read.
“Holy shit,” Andy echoed Bryan’s sentiment after reading enough of the document to see that Cade had signed over the farm to Mal. “Why would he do this? I thought things were
good between you.” He handed the papers back to Bryan.
Mal removed his cap and resettled it on his head. “He never called me back. I just assumed he was busy. I guess he was, gettin’ on with his life.”
“What are you going to do?” Bryan asked, handing the deed back to Mal.
“There’s nothin’ I can do. It’s clear he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I waited too long. I shoulda called. Texted. Somethin’. This is all my fault. I waited too long, and now he’s movin’ on.”
Bryan’s demeanor changed. Andy knew the look well. Bryan was getting pissed. “I’ll ask you again, what are you going to do? The Malcolm Wilson I know isn’t a quitter.”
“But he’s –”
Bryan slapped his hands down on the desk in front of Mal, startling him and Andy. “But nothing. You love him? You want him? You gotta fight for him.”
Mal pressed a button on his laptop, turning the music off. With tears in his eyes, he said, “Yeah, I love him. I just hope it’s enough.”
“Isn’t the concert tomorrow?” Andy asked.
“Yes,” Bryan said as he pushed away from the desk, frustrated. He had come to think of Cade as a friend, and Andy knew his heart was hurting for both men.
“Mal can settle things between them after the show. Mal, I know Cade loves you, and once you explain how you should have accepted his generosity instead of throwing it in his face, he’ll forgive you for being an ass, and y’all can kiss and make up.”
Mal didn’t respond. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
“Come on, B. Let’s give Mal some space.” Andy didn’t worry about Mal seeing when he put his hand to the small of Bryan’s back as they walked out of the room. He needed the connection between them after seeing Mal so upset. He waited until he was outside to say, “Goddamn, that was a sad song.”
Bryan ran a hand down his face and sighed. “Yeah, it was. Dammit, why didn’t Mal respond to him sooner? All the silence had to be killing Cade. I’m going to text him and see if I get a response.”
Andy walked over to the fence to wait. The first few days after their trip to Nashville had been fun. Their time spent with Walt, Suzette, and the girls had filled Andy’s heart with something he’d needed for a long time. Family. It was one of the reasons he asked Mal about having them over every week. Bryan gave so much to Andy that it should be enough to make him whole, but it wasn’t until he watched Megan cling to Bryan that he felt complete. Seeing the two of them together had Andy wishing for things he knew were better left to the future.
Being around Walt and Suzette, and them accepting Andy for who he was, went a long way in mending that place inside that had been destroyed when his grandfather disowned him and his mother stood by and watched it happen. When he first met Suzette, she began putting him back together, one stitch at a time. When she recently stood in front of him with his face in her hands and told him she loved him, well, it was all Andy could do not to break down in front of everyone. He’d waited until he and Bryan were in bed together before he let the tears go. Instead of being mortified that Andy was a big, badass Marine crying like a little bitch, Bryan shed his own tears right along with Andy’s. Andy felt that much more love for his best friend. He could be himself with Bryan.
When Bryan rejoined him, he said, “Let’s go for a ride.” Bryan opened the gate and mounted Cochise while Andy pulled himself atop Callie. The two set off at an easy pace, giving Bryan and Cochise time to get used to each other.
While they were riding, they made the rounds. “Does it bother you that we get paid to spend all day together?” Andy asked.
Bryan grinned. “All day and all night. Fuck! I was ready to talk to Mal about us sharing a room together, and then this. He really is our boss now. Do you think things will change?”
“I can’t imagine they will other than who signs the paycheck. I don’t see Mal letting us go, not when things are so good. Not that he can’t find others to do what we do, but he likes us and has no reason to let us go. He’s not like that.”
“True, but now that the farm’s his again, he gets all the responsibility that goes with it. Dammit. Let’s just hope when they see each other tomorrow it’s not too late. I can’t imagine loving someone so much only to lose them over miscommunication.”
Andy knew the feeling. He and Bryan had almost done the same thing. Only instead of miscommunication, there had been none. But they were together, and he intended to keep it that way. He had yet to tell Bryan he loved him. They were still feeling each other out and hadn’t taken things in the bedroom to the next level. They had planned on talking to Mal about moving bedrooms so he’d have no doubt they were together. If things went the way he hoped they did, Mal and Cade would make up after the concert, Mal would stay downtown with Cade afterwards, and Bryan would come home to him where they could finally make love.
“I want you, B,” Andy blurted out.
“You have me, Babe.”
“I mean I want to make love to you.”
Bryan pulled back on the reins, and Cochise stopped. “Now?”
Andy shook his head. “No, but soon. If Mal ends up staying with Cade tomorrow, I want you to come home to me. We’ll have the house to ourselves, and I want to be with you.”
“And if things don’t go well with them?”
“Then we should go get a hotel room somewhere. I want a night with you where we can be as loud as we want. Naked all night without worrying about who’s gonna see us. Tell me you want that, too.”
“I want that, too.” Bryan stretched out his hand, and Andy took it. He wanted so badly to kiss Bryan, but he didn’t want to take a chance on spooking Cochise by getting too close. The need to be skin to skin with his man threatened to smother him. Andy took several deep breaths, and Bryan gripped his hand tighter. “Breathe, Babe,” Bryan urged, frowning.
Andy tried. He breathed in deeply, trying to control his emotions. Normally, he didn’t have to be touching Bryan twenty-four seven, but the sadness with Cade and Mal mixed with the thought of finally making love to Bryan was overwhelming.
“Talk to me, Andy.”
“I just…” He blew out a deep breath. “I’m scared, but at the same time, I’m overjoyed, you know? It’s hard to explain.”
“I get it, Baby. Every time I look at you, I can’t believe you’re mine. It scares me to think one day you’re going to wake up and figure out you could do so much better than me. Not that you’d ever find someone to love you more than I do, but someone with more of the other stuff to offer.”
Andy’s breath caught again. “What’s more important than love, B? I don’t have anything to offer you, either. We’re a lot alike, you and me. We have the same job; I’m figuring we make the same amount of money, not that it matters. We’re both Marines. We’re the same age; we like the same things. We love each other. Unless you get bored of the job we have, I don’t see life getting much better except for maybe throwing in some kids down the line.”
“Kids, huh?”
“I saw the way you were with Megan. You’d make a great father.”
“So would you, Lily. So would you. I really want to kiss you right now. Follow me.” Bryan turned loose of Andy’s hand, and with the touch of his heels, got Cochise moving toward the barn. Both men slid off the side of their horse and tethered them to the fence post. Bryan grabbed Andy’s hand and pulled him inside where they could have a bit of privacy. Bryan didn’t attack Andy like he expected. His movements were slow and gentle. His kiss was so tender, Andy never wanted it to end. Without coming right out and saying it, they’d both declared their love.
“I will make sure Mal and Cade find their way back to one another tomorrow night. Then, I’m coming home to you, and we will spend all night making love,” Bryan promised.
“I can’t wait.” And he couldn’t. Andy was ready to strip Bryan bare right there in the barn and worship his body.
“Let’s get the horses put up and go check on Mal.” Obviously, Bryan could wait,
but Andy knew he was right. They only had one more day to wait until they were finally together completely. Once they had the horses back in their stalls with feed and water, they headed inside the house. They had already planned on grilling out, so Bryan got the charcoal ready while Andy headed upstairs to talk to Mal.
Andy knocked on Mal’s door and waited for a response. “Come in.” When Andy eased the door open, Mal was leaning against the headboard looking through a notebook.
“Hey, Boss, we’re gonna put the steaks on. You want a baked potato or fries?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Maybe not, but you need to eat anyway. I’ll fix you a potato, that way you can heat it up. Rewarmed fries suck.”
Mal looked up from whatever he was reading and gave Andy a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks, Andy. You and Bryan have been good friends to me, puttin’ up with my bullshit these last few weeks.”
“It’s what friends do.” Andy closed the door and made his way downstairs. He washed and wrapped three potatoes before putting them in the oven. Once that was done, he took the steaks out to Bryan. The small grill was the only thing on the deck besides a couple of chairs Suzette had brought over. Andy sat back and enjoyed the view of Bryan manning the grill. Bryan had said he couldn’t believe Andy was his, but Andy was the lucky one. Bryan Moore was a hell of a man, even if he didn’t realize it.
Mal surprised them when he came out of his room and joined them for supper. He even sat around watching a baseball game afterwards.
During a commercial, he said, “I’ve been thinkin’ about remodelin’ the den and turning it into a dining room. Now that Ma and Walt are comin’ around more often, we need a bigger table. What do y’all think?”
Andy thought it was a wonderful idea. He loved having his new family around. “I’m all for it, just please don’t get rid of the piano.” Andy had played it several times while he and Bryan had been avoiding each other. He had forgotten how much music meant to him and how therapeutic it was to get lost in playing. Now that he and Bryan were together, he wanted to write a song for his love. He’d never tried to write one, but he had a tune floating around in his head, and if things went the way they all hoped, Andy was going to get Cade to help him.