Stay With Me, Julia

by Elle Linder

  “Fuzzy? They’re called details for a reason. They’re not meant to be fuzzy.”

  “These are fuzzy, and Luke wasn't sure what was going on in Alaska.”

  “And he went anyway? Now you’re upset, aren’t you?”

  Julia nodded. Lauren knew her almost as well as she knew herself.

  “You didn’t want him to leave, did you? I can hear it in your voice,” Lauren said.

  “No, I didn’t want him to leave.” Julia swallowed back the emotions creeping into her throat. “Lauren, I really like him. I know this will sound cliché, but the way he makes me feel is magical. I’ve never felt this way before—he fits me. He’s been gone one day, and I’m going crazy without him.”

  “Oh damn, you don’t just like him…you’re in love with him.” There was a long pause. “Don’t do it, babe. Don’t let yourself fall in love with a …man who has all that baggage.”

  “But—”

  “Seriously, I’m only saying this because I love you. You deserve to be number one in your man’s life.”

  “I know you’re right, but everything that’s happened since I arrived is like kismet. I wish he didn’t go to Alaska…”

  “You’re considering staying with him? I think that’s a bad idea. An ex-wife and kids, that’s a lot. They could tear down your love shack in the blink of an eye.”

  “Ugh, did you have to bring them up again? Why can’t I just enjoy him and our budding romance?”

  “You can, but don’t fall in love with him. Or be prepared to play second fiddle to his ex and be last in the lineup. Never mind the fact that you’ll be returning to L.A. by April Fools’ Day.”

  “Stop it! Do you have to be such a party pooper? I don’t want to think about returning right now. I want to marvel in this magnificent man.”

  “Marvel all you want, but don’t get attached.”

  Lauren’s comments stuck with Julia for the remainder of the day. April seemed far enough away to not think about it, but one day it would be knocking on her door, and then she would have to leave her magnificent man.

  Hers? When had that happened? Weeks ago, with those first fluttery flitters he had woken in her, that’s when. And from dozens upon dozens of kisses and falling asleep in his arms. She wanted him more than anything. She wanted him to be hers, but the thought of playing second fiddle to his ex-wife dashed all of her hopes. It would destroy her. She wouldn’t put herself through that again.

  So why hadn’t Luke called? The few texts he’d sent were stupid, unemotional static.

  What was he doing over there?

  Later that night, after a pint of vanilla ice cream doused in huckleberry syrup, Julia’s phone buzzed. She looked at the time on her iPad: 8:20 p.m. She had been in bed, doing a little online shopping to take her mind off her magnificent man, but it wasn’t helping. Even Jimmy Choo failed at distracting her from strolling down skepticism lane, where doubt entered her heart along with a plausible conclusion that her magnificent man might be a phony.

  If Luke could have seen the sour frown on her face and angry eye roll, he would’ve known she wasn’t happy with him, despite the way she answered.

  “Hi, Mr. Lumberjack,” she answered in a sultry voice. Like the lyrics in the song they had danced to, she wanted to make him miss her.

  “Hi, gorgeous. You sound…amazing. You have no idea how much I want to be with you right now.”

  “Mmm, me too. I slipped into bed not long ago…unfortunately alone.”

  “Good. I should be the only one in bed with you.”

  “And look at that, you’re not. It’s just me, myself, and I.”

  “You’re teasing me. Not fair.”

  “That’s not teasing. Teasing would be telling you I’m completely naked under the sheets.”

  “That’s definitely teasing. Just hold tight a little while longer, baby. I’ll be home before you know it.”

  “So, how’s it going over there?” She was done trying to make him miss her. Time to get down to business.

  “Not as crazy as Renee made it sound. Maybe she’s going crazy.” He snorted.

  Julia didn’t laugh. Nothing was funny about getting called in the morning by an ex who demanded you fly to Alaska if it wasn’t an actual emergency. Worse yet, Luke acted like it was a quick trip to Walmart for milk and eggs.

  “Anyway, Heather was caught smoking weed in the girls bathroom. I’m trying to work with the school so they don’t suspend her. I’m also trying to find a tutor to help her with the four classes she’s failing.”

  “I thought it was three classes? Geez, weed in middle school. I can’t imagine.”

  “No, it’s four classes. It’s crazy what these kids get sucked into nowadays. She’s struggled a lot since the divorce and me moving to Idaho.”

  “Has she seen a therapist to help her with all the changes?”

  “Yeah, early on. She might need to go back.”

  “Honestly, I think if it were me in her shoes, I’d need therapy. Divorce is hard on kids. I’m glad my parents…” She trailed off, remembering her dad.

  “Julia, are you okay?”

  “Yeah. After my dad died, I saw a therapist for a while to help me process my feelings. I’m willing to bet Heather needs help too.”

  “I’m sorry about your dad—losing him so suddenly. I hate that for you.”

  “Thank you. It’s the sudden losses that are the hardest. Here today, gone tomorrow and all that.” She grew quiet. Would Luke be another loss?

  “I wish I could hold you right now. I know how you get sad when you talk about your dad. I should be with you. Damn, I miss you.”

  Julia didn’t want to get mushy with him. She needed to stay strong, so she deflected. “Luke, I’m curious. Why is all this falling on you? It seems like this is something Renee would handle as the primary parent. What is she doing to help? And how are you supposed to figure out Heather’s school stuff if you’re returning tomorrow?”

  Julia heard a woman’s muffled voice. Renee? Her voice grew louder, like she was shouting. “Who are you talking to?” Julia heard the question loud and clear.

  “Do you mind? I’m on the phone,” Luke said, raising his voice.

  Julia dialed in to hear the woman. Why was there a woman in Luke’s hotel room? Remembering her cheating ex, her heart pounded like a drum.

  “With who? Brice is looking for you. He wants you to tuck him into bed…since you are home,” the woman said, like she was taking a dig at him.

  Home? Luke is at Renee’s house?

  “Tell him I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

  “Luke…who’s there with you?” Julia finally asked.

  “Are you talking to a woman while in my house?” the woman shouted, and Julia’s fears were confirmed.

  “It’s my house!” Luke shot back.

  This was all too familiar. The feelings. The short, coarse responses. She couldn’t do this. “Luke,” Julia interrupted, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I have to go.” The gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach told her this wasn’t good.

  “No, baby, just hold on a minute.”

  “Baby? You’re an asshole!” Renee yelled, slamming a door.

  The crashing sound made Julia flinch.

  “I can’t talk now.” Julia ended the call suddenly. Tears pooled in her eyes as her heart raced. She breathed in and out—slow and deep—in and out. She dabbed the corners of her eyes with a tissue.

  What in the hell just happened?

  “Fuck!” Luke yelled. He paced in his room, trying to calm down before calling Julia back. After several laps, he dialed, praying she would answer.

  “What?”

  “Julia, I’m so sorry. She has no respect for my privacy.”

  “She? You mean Renee?” Her unyielding tone spiked a fear in him.

  “Yes, Renee. When I’m here, she’s constantly underfoot and uses the kids to get to me. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

  “I didn’t hear everythi
ng, but why are you there? It’s getting late. Shouldn’t you be at your hotel by now? Don’t the kids have school in the morning? Really, you could have waited to call me from your room.” Luke wasn’t quick to answer. “Luke?”

  “I’m not staying in a hotel. We have a guest room. I use it when I come out to visit so I’m closer to the kids.” He paused a few beats. “They like having me in the house… Half the time my son is with me.” He could only hear Julia breathing. “Julia, are you there?”

  “Mm-hmm. What about the other half of the time, when he’s not with you?”

  “I’m alone the other half. Nothing is going on between me and Renee if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  “It is what I’m thinking.” The detached tone in her voice scared the shit out of him.

  “Baby, please, I’m not screwing around with Renee. I would never cheat on you.”

  “So you’re staying in Renee’s house so you can be closer to the kids? In the guest room?” she asked to clarify.

  “It’s my house,” he grumbled under his breath. “Nothing is going on between me and Renee.”

  “Really? Then why did she get bent out of shape like that? And why didn’t you tell me you’d be staying in the family home before you left? Were you hoping I wouldn’t find out?”

  “No. I forgot to mention it. I should have told you, but it’s not what you think, I promise.”

  “I’ve heard a lot of promises over the last couple of years, Luke, and they all turned out to be lies.”

  “I’m not lying! There’s nothing going on here. I give you my word, and my word is my honor. I hate being thousands of miles away from you. Please don’t doubt me or rethink us.” It pissed him off hearing the agony in his own voice. Where was it coming from?

  “I need to go, Luke. I don’t like any of this,” she whispered. “And I don’t know how to deal or that I want to deal.”

  “Julia, please, let’s talk for a while. Let me reassure you nothing is going on. This trip will be the last time I stay in the house. You’re right—I should be in a hotel.”

  “No, Brice wants you to tuck him in bed, and you should; he’s your priority. Deal with your family’s issues. It’s why you’re there. We’ll talk when you get back.”

  “No, let’s talk now.”

  “Luke, your son needs you. Be there for him and Heather. I need to go. Bye.” The call ended.

  Luke’s heart plummeted into his boots. He tossed the phone on the bed and gripped his head. He had never felt panicked to his core before, not even when snipers had shot at him in Iraq. But him, beg?

  Who the fuck had he turned into?

  What had Julia done to him?

  Where had the rock-solid, unflinching, unemotional Marine gone? Did she have him wrapped around her little finger or grabbed by the balls?

  He roughly stroked his beard. No, that wasn’t it. She had gotten into his heart, and now hearing the sadness and confusion in her voice killed him. Worse yet, she’d remained as sweet as ever. She hadn’t raised her voice once or lost control. She hadn’t manipulated him or guilted him about his kids. He could have dealt with all that. Instead, she had stepped out of the picture, removing herself from the equation. That tore at his heart.

  FOURTEEN

  Keeping Secrets

  When Luke was in a mood, it was better to leave him alone. The people closest to him knew this about him, including Renee. Last night she had pissed him off, but he had pissed her off too. How dare he call a woman in her house? And if he had a girlfriend, why hadn’t he mentioned her?

  Hearing him say “I miss you” and calling the woman “baby,” enraged her. After all, it was her house.

  Renee paced in her bedroom, trying to figure out how to make it up to him. At breakfast, he hadn’t said two words to her, nor had he spoken to her when he’d returned from the school. The documents for Heather’s revised class schedule lay on the dining table. No conversation. No update. Nothing on how it had gone with the principal.

  Of course, she could have gone to the meeting with him, if she hadn’t been difficult. If she were a betting woman—and she was on occasion—she would bet that Luke had gotten into a fight with his girlfriend. A small smirk appeared on her face. Good.

  She went into her closet and pulled out her tightest pair of jeans and a red cami with a deep V trimmed in lace. Luke had once said he loved her in red, that it was sexy. Even though that had been back in college, there was no arguing her fair skin and blonde hair contrasted nicely with the seductive color. Rick had called her a “siren in red” at Christmas. But she didn’t care about him. He was only her toddler Izzy’s daddy and not her ex-husband.

  Renee applied a little eyeliner to accentuate her slate-blue eyes and swiped tinted gloss onto her lips. Then she dusted her cheeks with blush and combed her hair. A little spritz of White Diamonds perfume to make her feel rich and beautiful completed her primping. But the final touch was a little white powder for courage.

  The tiny glass vial was nearly empty, but she didn’t need much and planned to quit anyway. She snorted the line she drew on the counter and welcomed the careless abandon it gave her. After sniffing several times to clear her nasal passages, she ventured downstairs.

  There had been a time during their marriage she had been able to coax Luke into bed to work off his anger and frustrations. She wondered if she could do it now. If nothing else, she would give it a shot. She had nothing to lose; she had already lost him, possibly to another woman.

  CNN blared from the living room, and she paused at the foot of the stairs to listen. Heather and Brice were in their rooms, and Izzy was down for a late afternoon nap.

  Like a lioness on the hunt, Renee entered the living room quietly to observe. A wicked smile appeared on her face, seeing Luke relaxed in the recliner, the one that had been used for more than sitting with Rick. She pushed her breasts out, crossed her arms beneath them, and walked in front of his view.

  “What?” he snapped.

  “We have to talk about this,” she began. “I don’t want you angry with me. You didn’t even talk to me about the meeting with the principal.”

  “If you were so concerned, why didn’t you attend the meeting?”

  “Luke.” She made a pouty face. “I’m sorry, honey.”

  He grimaced at her.

  “I want to make it up to you.”

  “Just stop. You’re blocking my view.” He scowled, trying to look around her.

  Renee’s eyes raked over him, looking from his handsome face down to his broad chest and then his muscular thighs. Earlier in the day he’d gone to the gym, and he was still in his athletic pants. She tingled. Maybe he would like to experience the recliner’s alternate use? Just as the thought entered her mind, she let the idea go and walked out of the living room.

  Dejected for failing to entice him, she suddenly became angry. At the base of the stairs, her “powder of courage” kicked in. Again, she listened for the kids. They would likely be in their rooms until dinner, so she turned on her heel and headed back to the living room, but first she removed her jeans. She hatched a quick plan and executed it.

  Renee hopped onto Luke’s lap and covered his mouth in an aggressive, hungry kiss. To her disappointment, his hands went prone on the arms of the chair instead of on her.

  “Stop!” he yelled, pulling his face away, but she gripped it in place. “Get off me!”

  “Don’t be angry, baby.” She showed her sexual know-how, reaching her hand into his pants before he could stop her.

  The fury on Luke’s face changed to mortification when she gripped his dick and tugged him in a firm motion. Renee nipped his lower lip and traced her tongue along the top, leaving her mark on him. Her heavy sighs of lust filled the room as Luke tried to wiggle out of her grasp. She moaned into his mouth, running her thumb over the smooth wet tip of his erection, and he turned to steel against her.

  “Oh, Luke, I’ve missed you. That’s it…there you go,” Renee said seductively, grindi
ng her pelvis against him. “I know just how you like it,” she encouraged, verbalizing her aroused state as he grew hard in her hand. She raised on her knees and pressed her breasts into his face. “Come on, babe, take off my cami. Play with me,” she begged while working him faster.

  ***

  The moment froze for Luke like a horror movie scene where the camera panned back, putting the victim farther away from the door…from their escape of the insane villain. It all happened so fast. One second, he was watching the news, and the next he was getting an unwanted hand-job from his ex-wife. Not much more than a minute had passed, but it felt like a lifetime. The disgust and anger in him turned to panic, and he feared he would climax as his heart pounded and his breathing deepened.

  And then Julia popped into his head.

  A violent storm ignited in him. He gripped Renee’s wrist so hard she yelped like a dog and released him. In his next breath, he flung her onto the sofa in one deft move. He grabbed a nearby knitted blanket and threw it on her.

  Luke saw red, just like the day he’d caught her screwing Rick and last year when she had entered the guest room uninvited. All would have been fine had he not woken to her giving him a blow job. He hadn’t had sex with her then either, despite her complaints of loneliness. She had been drunker than a skunk that night, but this time he didn’t smell alcohol.

  “What in the hell has gotten into you!? Is this the kind of woman you are? You’ll fuck anyone for any goddamn reason—wanted or not!”

  “You’re not just anyone. You’re my husband and the father of my kids.” She waved him off, swirling her hand in the air in a callous manner.

  He clenched his jaw.

  “You act like you didn’t like it,” she scoffed. “Is this because of your girlfriend?”

  Luke glared. He could rip her head off her shoulders. Renee could never keep her stupid mouth shut. “Ex-husband…EX-husband! I don’t want you!” he roared with his hands in tight fists, but Renee stared back unaffected. He whirled around and stormed out of the house in a fit of rage.