Stay With Me, Julia

by Elle Linder

  “Yet? Did you just say yet? That means you’re considering it. Are you in love with him?”

  “I’m something with him, but I don’t know if it’s love.”

  “Oh my God. OH MY GOD! I’m coming out there. I need to meet the man who’s threatening to steal my best friend and business partner away from me. I’ll be there next Monday,” she said definitively.

  “Do you have the time to come out?”

  “Don’t play that with me! I’m the fucking boss and will do as I damn well please.”

  Julia closed her eyes. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

  “Listen to you, you big chicken! I’m coming, and that’s that!”

  “I’ll reserve a nice suite for you.” There were several seconds of silence between them as Lauren calmed and Julia found the guts to open up about Luke. She was, in fact, a chicken. A self-inflicted chicken. Lauren might yell, curse, and rant, but in the end, she loved her fiercely. Julia could always count on her support no matter how absurd or ludicrous her ideas were. It was why they were successful business owners and best friends. Lauren would stand by Julia even if it meant getting hurt in return. “Lauren…”

  “What?”

  “I’m falling for him, and I’m scared.”

  Julia heard Lauren inhale deeply. “Tell me all about it.”

  Thirty minutes later Julia had brought Lauren up to speed on Luke’s three-day trip turning into seven days. How she’d found out he was staying in his ex’s house, how she didn’t know if she wanted to deal with his “commitments,” and how they’d talked over the weekend. She even told Lauren how her dreamy, swoony feelings had returned and how she wanted to give them a chance. She felt like the weight of the world had lifted from her shoulders.

  “Wow, that’s a lot. I can’t believe you’re wanting to sign on with an ex-wife who has him by the balls and two kids he’ll drop everything for in a heartbeat, even you.” Right there was the Lauren she knew and the one she hadn’t wanted to talk to when her phone buzzed earlier.

  “I know it sounds crazy, but I feel a connection to him unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I don’t expect you to understand, but I do expect you to be a little more supportive than that.”

  “I’m your best friend, and I love you to pieces. I’m trying to protect you from yourself and your fantasy of forever and happily ever after. I’m telling you, as much as you don’t want to hear it, you won’t find it with this guy. I don’t care how fucking sexy and good in bed he is. His wife and kids will be forever connected to him… There’s your forever,” she scoffed.

  “Just stop talking now. I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say.”

  “No, I won’t stop. You’re a gorgeous, tender-hearted woman who is only twenty-seven. There are plenty of other men without his baggage. You don’t have to settle, babe.”

  “You think I’m settling?”

  “Maybe. How old is he anyway? Forty? Maybe he doesn’t want more kids, and I know you do—at least three.”

  Tears formed in Julia’s eyes as she listened to Lauren talk sensibly—realistically—while crushing her dreams. It was a hard pill to swallow, but what she said made sense, too much sense. And her heart didn’t want to hear it or believe it. “He’s thirty-eight.”

  “I’m sorry for being harsh, but sometimes your head is stuck in the clouds and it takes a hard tug on your heart to bring you out of it. I only want you to have the very best of everything. You deserve real love and devotion from a man who will make you his priority.”

  “But the way he makes me feel in his arms is real.” She sniffled.

  “He isn’t the only man on the planet.”

  “But he’s the only lumberjack I want.”

  “Just be careful. I’ll see you next Monday.”

  “Okay…bye.”

  Julia’s giddy schoolgirl mood vanished. Lauren had replaced it in one phone call with sadness and doubt. The problem was, everything she had said gave Julia pause. Maybe Luke didn’t want more kids. They’d never talked about it, or marriage for that matter. They had only been together a month, and they hadn’t even made love.

  Of course he would always put his kids before her. It was just the kind of man he seemed to be, and she couldn’t fault him for that. She admired his steadfast devotion to them.

  Maybe what she needed was a clear picture of what her life would be like with a divorced dad. Nobody in her family was divorced, so she didn’t have any firsthand experience in this area. All she knew about divorce when kids were involved was that they paid the ultimate price, and that broke her heart.

  On her quest to find out more…she googled “dating a man with kids.” Every article and blog post overloaded her with information. A hard dose of reality hit her. Vengeful keywords and statements jumped off the screen: post-divorce guilt, hostile ex-wives, post-marital drama. Julia read about healthy boundaries versus lousy boundaries. How over fifty-percent of remarriages with children involved ended in divorce.

  And then she read how she would never be the “first wife,” and her children, if she had children with Luke, wouldn’t be his first either. All the first-time experiences couples shared, Luke had already had them with Renee. A proposal, wedding, honeymoon, and a first baby. Her heart cried.

  From there on, the more she read about the effects for her, it got worse, and her heart ached.

  Depression.

  Loneliness as “an outsider.”

  Kids resistant to the girlfriend/new wife.

  Blood is thicker than water—she was water.

  Time passed as she stared at the screen feeling hopeless. It all came down to one final thought: if she wouldn’t be able to be part of a blended family, she needed to end the relationship before they made love. In her heart, she knew if she opened up to Luke intimately it would be nearly impossible to walk away from him.

  The laugh shook her from her pensiveness and filled her body with a familiar warmth. Julia sprang from her desk and stopped in the doorway. There he was at the counter talking to Erika. Julia drank him in while the world around her disappeared and her heart begged for his arms.

  “Hi, beautiful.” He smiled that sexy grin she had missed. He walked toward her, and she stepped back into the office, her heart racing with anticipation. Luke kicked the door closed behind him and pulled her into his arms. “I can see you’re happy to see me even though you haven’t spoken a single word,” he teased. “I’m home, baby.” He cupped her face and kissed her with meaningful desperation. In one penetrating kiss, Luke nullified all her fears, doubts, and resistance of heart.

  “I’m happy to see you, but you’re earlier than I expected.”

  Luke pulled her onto his lap after he sat down. The gesture had become their thing since The Peak, and it made her heart flutter. His muscular arms cascaded around her. A hand went between her knees, while the other gripped her thigh.

  Her breast brushed against his chest, rousing her imprisoned desires. She pulled back to regain her focus. Turning to mush wasn’t permissible. But he doused her attempt by drawing her closer.

  “I got an earlier flight home. I couldn’t be away from you for another second.” He gazed into her eyes.

  “You left early for me?”

  “Are you kidding? After staying four days longer than planned, nothing was going to keep me away from you any longer.” He kissed the tip of her nose, and the butterflies in her stomach cheered. “I’m sorry for not returning when I said I would. I promise it won’t happen again.”

  She looked down at his large, protective hand rubbing her thigh. It reminded her of what she had missed while he was gone and how there would be other times she would be without his touch. Could she handle it?

  “What’s wrong?” He lifted her chin.

  “I don’t want to come between you and your kids.”

  “Do you know how amazing you are? I love your honesty. I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I want you to know I’m going to do everything possible to make us work�
��all of us. You’re important to me, Julia.”

  “Okay, just stop talking and kiss me,” she demanded. His resolute tone and the love in his eyes were enough for her. She closed her eyes, only wanting to enjoy this moment with him.

  “As you wish…”

  Now that Luke was back in Idaho, her world and heart were righted. But the hesitation inside her hadn’t left. If she opened herself up to him intimately, would he break her heart? For tonight, she would enjoy being in his arms. Sex was temporarily off the table, and now she was glad he had insisted they wait. After being apart, and after the drama that had developed, they needed to reconnect without the pressure of sex. Where that naturally led, she decided the second she saw him, she would be open to, whatever the future brought.

  NINETEEN

  Not What She Expected

  Murphy’s Café was a one-of-a-kind beauty on the east side of town and a short scenic drive along the lake from the resort. The quaint café surrounded by lush gardens, Douglas firs, and quaking aspens had all the charm of a storybook cottage.

  It was no secret Julia had been dying to sample the culinary talents of Chef Kandace since the first guests for the Sweethearts Retreat had raved about their special meal. Luke had been planning to take his sweetheart to Murphy’s for weeks. Tonight, she would find out what all the fuss was about. The smile on her face, the way she gently squeezed his hand, and the little sighs of happiness were all clues he was on the right track with his atonement.

  Luke’s mission was to show Julia they could conquer anything life threw their way: kids, Alaska, his ex-wife. Being away from Julia had not only been hellish, given the issues that threatened to tear them apart, it had also given him a sneak peek at life without her. He never wanted to experience that emptiness again.

  He pulled into a paved parking lot on the side of the café and exited his truck, looking handsome in a white open-collared oxford shirt and a black tweed sports coat. He had his “special” dark denim jeans on instead of his regular Carhartts. Luke had always been a head turner, with flocks of women drawn to his size and attractive masculine features, but the only person he aimed to impress was his lady, Julia.

  ***

  Julia held her breath as she watched her magnificent man open the door with his eyes locked on hers. He stretched his hand out in a gentlemanly fashion to assist her. Such chivalry she hadn’t expected, nor the tingles it produced.

  Swoon.

  “Thank you.” She accepted his assistance.

  He nodded, placing a hand on the small of her back. They walked toward the entrance casually. Luke’s attentiveness created a cocoon around her tiny world. With the sun’s evening glow warming her beside him, no one else existed.

  The understated café had grey shingle siding and a high-pitched charcoal roof. The white-trimmed grid windows complemented the grey, and the rounded-top solid oak door added an enchanting finish, reminiscent of a hobbit door. The magical wonder felt like stepping into a child’s nursery rhyme.

  Inside Murphy’s, they were greeted by a hostess standing beside a gorgeous antique desk with a red velour wingback chair. Atop the table was a reservation book and a lovely floral arrangement. Julia closely eyed the flowers—white hydrangeas, spray roses, mini calla lilies, dusty miller, and silver brunia berries. Two words came to her mind regarding the café: charming and whimsical.

  “Hello, Mr. Hamill,” the hostess said. “Your table is ready. Please follow me.”

  “Thank you, Pamela.”

  At their table, Luke pulled out Julia’s chair like a proper gentleman would, but her rugged lumberjack? His refined poise surprised her. She didn’t doubt everything was to woo her.

  The dining room had an elegant wallpaper with a floral motif against a burgundy background. Four brass chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Candles were placed on every table, creating an intimate and romantic ambience throughout the classically designed room.

  The room was large enough for a small, formal gathering, like an engagement party or a special birthday celebration. In typical Julia fashion, she imagined the kind of event she would have in the café. Much like the woodland wedding she had envisioned with Luke last month. Her mind was always at work, imagining celebratory events. Azure Inn and Spa was a highly desired venue. Julia was proud of that aspect of her business. A true hostess at heart, she enjoyed planning romantic retreats and gatherings.

  “Tonight’s chef’s special is roasted chicken with risotto, caramelized onions, and porcini mushrooms,” Pamela said in a soft voice while gracefully handing them each a menu. She carried herself with a refined poise, like a ballerina. “Miss Greene, right? We haven’t met before, but I saw you a couple of weeks ago talking to Kandace and around town with Mr. Hamill.” Her cheeks turned pink when she looked at Luke.

  “I’m sorry, Pamela, yes, this is Julia Greene, Becky’s niece,” Luke said.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you.” She smiled. “I heard you were beautiful. The rumors were right this time.”

  “That’s very sweet of you to say, and it’s a pleasure to meet you too, Pamela.” Julia returned a small smile. Rumors? What else was being said about her around town?

  “Your waiter will be with you shortly.” Pamela nodded, leaving them.

  “She’s right, you know,” Luke said, staring at her fondly.

  Julia looked up from her menu. “What?”

  “The rumors are right. You’re beautiful, especially in that black dress.” He stared at her, spellbound and looking as happy as a clam.

  Julia laid the menu down and leaned toward him with a sassy expression. “What else has the rumor mill said about me?”

  Luke leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed over his broad chest. The wool fabric of his sports coat tightened around his biceps; she couldn’t help but stare. After a week of not seeing him or being in his arms, she craved the gorgeous specimen eyeing her. Even his beard had become sexy. Julia shifted in her chair. Maybe the ambient lighting in the room aided in weakening her resistance to his magnetism as he held her gaze?

  “Are you worried the rumor mill is talking about us? I haven’t tried to hide my feelings for you. In fact, I’ve made sure they were clear. Remember, The Peak? I claimed you that night. The whole town knows you’re mine.” His eyes were locked on hers.

  “Seriously? You claimed me? What exactly does that mean?”

  “It means you belong to me, and no other man better try anything with you or he’ll meet his demise…painfully.” Luke leaned forward, wielding a powerful and irresistible intensity that sent her heart racing. All kinds of yummy feelings spurred to life inside her, but she needed to hold firm.

  “Luke, I’m a feminist. Laying claim to me like you’re a caveman goes against everything I believe in. I don’t belong to anyone. I’m my own person.”

  “Caveman? No, baby, lumberjack.” He reached across the table for her hand, and she allowed him to take it. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her palm, his sultry breath warming every inch of her body. Then, in a startling move, he swirled his tongue in little circles on her hand. Currents of lust traveled through her body at the slow tempo he set. Her eyes had just closed at the enjoyment of his oral activity when the fear of moaning jerked her back to reality. She pressed her lips together to avoid letting a peep or a moan escape her mouth.

  “Do you want me to call up the rumor mill, aka Louise, and retract my claim?” A devilish grin taunted her. “I would do that for you if you wanted me to.”

  “No. I’ll forgive this infraction since you were obviously out of your mind with desire for me.”

  “Thank you, baby. Your mercy is gracious and fucking sexy.”

  “Luke,” she whispered, aghast. She glanced around the room to see if anyone had heard him. Stoic and unfazed, he stared at her with nothing but his sinfully sexy grin. She squirmed in her seat, the torture real, and then she was saved.

  “Hey, Luke, heard you were in Alaska again. When did you get back?” Mike, the waiter a
nd part owner of the restaurant, asked. His timing couldn’t have been more perfect, except did he have to mention Alaska? Julia had hoped the sexual tension between her and Luke would cool down, but not like this.

  She stiffened, looking at Luke with bitter annoyance coursing through her veins.

  “Yesterday. How’s Kandace and the kids?”

  “They’re great. You have to try the risotto; it’s to die for.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “Hi, Julia. That promo of yours has increased our business by thirty-five percent. It’s been an awesome month.” Mike raised his brows at Luke.

  “That’s great. I’ll be calling Kandace next week about a spring promo I’m working on for March, if you guys might be interested?”

  “Oh, we’re interested,” Mike said eagerly. “Luke, you found yourself a keeper right here.” Mike patted Julia’s shoulder. “Don’t let her go.”

  Luke held Julia’s gaze, and she wondered what he was thinking.

  “So, what can I get you, Julia?” Mike asked.

  “I’ll have your to-die-for risotto,” she answered.

  “You got it.” He nodded. “Luke, the risotto? I’d have a glass of Pinot with it.”

  “Sounds good. Pinot good for you, baby?” Luke asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

  She nodded approvingly but also blushed when Mike cleared his throat following the term of endearment. Luke had once again laid his claim masterfully. She loved it and hated it all at the same time.

  “Great, we’ll get that out to you both shortly.” Mike collected the menus.

  Julia glanced up at him. He was a bit taller than Luke, with an athletic physique and a bald head. Mike was an attractive man—dark eyes, a great smile, and a little scruff on his face. He wasn’t the typical rugged man in town. Not once had she seen him wearing flannel. She had learned that he and Kandace weren’t from Faithful Falls. They’d met at culinary school in Seattle and moved to Idaho to start Murphy’s Café and begin a family. They were what Julia called a perfect couple—a successful husband/wife team tackling life and kids effortlessly. She sighed. Could she and Luke tackle life, kids, and an ex-wife so easily?