by J. O Mantel
“Don’t even do the whole ‘I’m sorry’ thing, Sienna. It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”
He had every right to be angry, in fact, Sienna was expecting him to slap her or tell her to get out at any moment.
“Lukas, please. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“I didn’t say you did this on purpose Sienna. But that still doesn’t make it all right. You’ve known about this for the past week and you’re only telling me now?”
“I didn’t even tell Jake either. Lukas until the doctor told me that I was pregnant, I had no idea what was wrong with me. Then when I found out, I didn’t know what to do. I had so many things going through my mind.”
“So instead of staying here and discussing things like an adult, you run off to your best friend and tell her instead?”
“You know, Jake said the exact same thing,” she replied.
“Well Sienna, considering we’re both in the same position right now, I don’t blame the guy. So this is why you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts, because you didn’t want to deal with it?”
“Lukas, it’s not that I didn’t want to deal with it, I didn’t know how to deal with it. When I told Ivy, the first thing she said to me was to tell you and Jake. I didn’t even listen to her. At the time, she was the only one I could turn to. I couldn’t face you or Jake, not until I had spoken to someone.”
“Well Sienna, it would seem we have a major problem on our hands then, don’t you think?”
“Don’t you know how hard this is for me?” She cried.
“Well, I’m sorry Sienna, but you’re the one who decided to jump into bed with another guy.” He said it so calmly, as if it meant nothing.
“Don’t you dare throw this back on me,” she said, raising her voice.
“Well, I’m not the one who is pregnant with no clue who the father is, am I?” Lukas said. He had never spoken to her like this before.
She could see the strain marks that had suddenly appeared on his forehead. Sienna didn’t say a word, she got up off the sofa and walked over to Lukas, who was now standing by the mantelpiece. She wrapped her arms around his waist, but he pulled away.
“Lukas?” She questioned him.
He didn’t respond, he walked over to the front door and opened it.
“Sienna, I think you should leave.”
“What?” She replied.
“I need time to think.”
“Lukas please. Let’s talk about this.”
“No, Sienna! I need to be alone right now. I can’t think straight at the moment. I think it’s best if you just leave.”
“Don’t I even get a say in this?”
“I think you’ve said and done enough, don’t you? Just leave, please,” he said, still holding the door open.
Sienna knew that his mind was made up. It was her worst nightmare, she was losing the man she loved.
She grabbed her bag, made her way toward Lukas and stopped. She leaned forward to kiss him; “Don’t,” he said, turning his head away. He couldn’t even bear to look at her.
Tears started streaming down her face again as she walked out the door. She sat in the car for a few seconds before she finally started the engine. She buckled her seatbelt and reversed out of the drive.
“Twins?” Sienna repeated, as she lay on the bed while Dr. Hughes performed the ultrasound.
“Yes, it’s still a little early to determine the sex, but there’s definitely two in there.” Dr. Hughes pointed to the two kidney like figures on the monitor for Sienna to see.
“How far along am I?” She asked.
“Around thirteen and a half weeks.”
He poured some more gel on the wand and gently rubbed it over her abdomen. He pressed a few buttons on the computer and looked at Sienna.
“Now, if you listen… ” Dr. Hughes’ voice faded into the background, Sienna could hear the sound of a heartbeat. Dr. Hughes turned up the volume and Sienna smiled.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“Yes, heartbeat of baby number one.”
Tears began to fall down her face as she heard that miraculous sound. Dr. Hughes took a few photos of the ultrasound and moved the wand over her abdomen again, so that she could hear the heartbeat of baby number two. Sienna was in total awe, she was also sad as she thought of both Lukas and Jake, who were missing out on such a special moment.
“They sound a little fast, don’t they?”
“No, perfectly normal,” he replied.
Sienna’s face lit up with a smile. She rested her head down on the pillow and looked at the monitor. The realization that she was about to become a mother finally sunk in.
“So, have you told the father yet?” Dr. Hughes asked as he took a few more photos. He then wiped the gel off Sienna’s stomach and turned the machine off.
“Um, yeah, sort of,” she replied, fixing her top and sitting up on the bed.
“Oh? I would have thought he’d be here for the baby’s first ultrasound.”
He moved the machine out of the way and made some notes. If Sienna was going to get further advice about this, there was no better person to talk to than her doctor.
“Dr. Hughes?”
“Yes?”
She sighed, contemplating whether or not she should say anything. But she realized there was a doctor-patient confidentiality and he wouldn’t be able to disclose anything without her consent.
“This is a little difficult to talk about,” she said.
Dr. Hughes finished his notes and sat down on the chair beside the bed.
“Sienna, whatever it is you know you can tell me.”
She swallowed, hard.
“There’s a reason why the baby’s father isn’t here.”
“I figured as much,” Dr. Hughes replied.
“The re… ,” she took another breath, she was really struggling, almost tearing up.
“The real reason why the baby’s father isn’t here, is because I don’t know who it is.”
“Oh, I see,” he replied, realizing Sienna’s situation.
“There are two potential fathers, and I don’t have a clue which one it is,” she said, more tears streaming down her face.
“Do either of them know that you’re pregnant?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“Sienna you know that, with your permission of course, I can perform an amniocentesis.”
“I’ve heard of that. What is it exactly?” She asked.
“Basically it’s a procedure where I inject a needle through your abdomen, into the fluid sac surrounding the babies, draw out some fluid, and run some tests,” Dr. Hughes explained.
“But aren’t there risks involved if we do something like that?”
“It is risky and it has been known to cause miscarriages.”
Sienna sat on the bed, thinking about the prospects Dr. Hughes was talking about. Although she wanted nothing more than to find out the paternity of her pregnancy, she didn’t want to harm her babies.
“Dr. Hughes?”
“Yes?”
“What happens if we wait until after the birth?”
“Nothing. But Sienna, are you sure you really want to wait that long?” He asked.
At the moment, Sienna wasn’t sure of anything. The truth was, in her mind, she was still in a state of denial. A large part of her wanted Lukas to be the father, the two of them were so happy and Sienna knew how much being parents meant to both of them. Another part saw her and Jake raising their children together. It would be everything Jake ever dreamed of, he would finally be with Sienna and two children would definitely seal the deal. She needed time to think some more, and more importantly, she needed to make a decision.
“Is there anything else?” She asked.
“No, we’re done, unless you have any more questions for me?”
Sienna shook her head and slowly stood up off the bed. She put on her jacket and grabbed her purse.
“Thank you, Doctor,�
� she said, opening the door.
“You’re welcome, Sienna. Just remember, if you ever need anything, I’m only a phone call away.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, and Sienna… ” She paused and turned to Dr. Hughes. “Just remember, you don’t have to go through this alone.”
“Thanks,” she smiled and walked out of the room.
As Sienna drove home from the clinic she let her mind go wandering. She began to think how life would be with Lukas and the babies. Not easy, Lukas was constantly traveling, in the recording studio and performing at concerts—life would be hectic. Then she remembered that Lukas had said that he would put his career on hold, temporarily, if they wanted to start a family. If the babies were his, would this change his mind on marriage? She would love to be Mrs. Lukas Dark—but that was a long way off for now—they weren’t even really talking to each other at the moment. Could she really live without Lukas in her life? She shook her head at the thought, as tears began to flow down her cheek.
As she continued driving, Sienna then thought of a life with Jake. Even though he wasn’t as big a star as Lukas, she knew that he would be soon. The challenges she faced with Lukas, she would also face with Jake. Both of them rock stars and both of them very popular. Having known Jake for at least half of her life, she knew that he would make a wonderful father. They knew each other so well, having been through a lot of ups and downs together. They both had financial security, but she wasn’t worried about that.
How could she be doing this to the two men that she loves the most? Frustrated, she slammed her fist on the steering wheel and continued driving. She was so stressed and tired, she needed a nice, soothing bubble bath.
When she finally arrived home, Jake’s car was in the drive. The two of them hadn’t really spoken since she had told him that she was pregnant. Lukas had asked for some space while he thought about the situation. Although it was difficult for Sienna not being able to hold him, she supported his decision and they occasionally sent each other a text message. She got out of the car and made her way inside. Jake was on the sofa watching television. Sienna barely acknowledged him and went straight to her room.
That night at dinner, Sienna was hungrier than usual. She had made them both some baked potato with cooked ham. Jake sat there, eating his meal, barely making eye contact with Sienna, occasionally muttering something under his breath.
“Oh for fuck sakes. Jake, this is stupid,” Sienna suddenly blurted out.
“What?” Jake asked, finally looking at her.
“This! You and me… us not talking. I can’t stand it,” she said.
“Well, Sienna-”
“I know, Jake. I know. I fucked up. This whole situation is just fucked up. But does that mean things have to be weird between us?” She asked.
“Weird?” Jake said. “Sienna, you’re pregnant and you have no idea who the father is. Can you see it from my perspective?”
“Jake, I’ve seen it from everyone’s perspective, including mine.”
“Oh, great. So we’re going to make this about you again, are we?”
“Jake, that’s not fair.”
“Fair, Sienna? You want to talk about being fair? How about it’s not fair that you’re making Lukas and I wait around while you decide whether or not you want to have a paternity test? I know that you’ve been thinking about having one, I’ve seen you researching it on your computer. Or the fact that you chose not to involve us with any decisions that you make? How’s that for fair, Sienna?”
He was angry, and Sienna knew that he had every right to be, but she really didn’t want to do this right now.
“Jake, I don’t want to fight with you, please.” She was ready to burst into tears, but she took a deep breath and managed to calm herself down.
“So, have you decided what you’re going to do?” Jake asked.
“About what?”
“Sienna, you know what about. How much longer are you going to leave Lukas and I dangling, until you decide whether or not you’re going to do a paternity test?”
“Don’t push it, Jake. I know you and Lukas are both on edge at the moment. I know you’re wondering which one of you is the father, but quite frankly, that’s not your decision to make. It’s my body, my choice.”
Even though he felt like a prick, Jake felt he was right in what he was saying to her. Sienna was leaving both him and Lukas dangling with her decision regarding having a paternity test. He didn’t like seeing her upset—but the situation between all three of them was tense and nothing looked as though it was going to be solved in the near future.
He looked up at Sienna, as she let out a loud cry, he really didn’t like seeing her this way.
He stood up and walked over to her, and for the first time in weeks, he leaned forward and hugged her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, starting to cry.
At first Sienna hesitated, but when she heard him cry, she wrapped her arms around him also. It felt great to be in his arms again. Lukas may be her boyfriend, but there was something about Jake’s hugs that made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. He always made her feel better, even when it was his fault. He pulled away and sat down beside her.
“I’ve been such a prick,” Jake said.
“That’s not the word I would have used, but it’ll do.”
“Sienna, I’m so sorry,” Jake looked at her.
“Under the circumstances, I can’t say I really blame you, even though you were a prick about it. If it was me in your shoes, I would probably have reacted the same way,” Sienna said.
“So what do we do now? Have you spoken to Lukas?”
“I haven’t seen or really spoken to Lukas since I told him the news. He’s been distant and wants some space, and I don’t blame him either.”
“Give it time. I don’t know Lukas that well, but I know how happy he makes you. If he’s as stubborn as I am, he’s probably already thinking the same thing you are. He’s a guy, he’ll get over it. I know it’s taken me this long to accept it, but you and Lukas really are happy together. I can’t jeopardize your happiness. I just know that seeing you happy, is the only thing I could wish for.”
This was the first time Jake had ever given his blessing about Sienna’s relationship with Lukas. She could even see that he wasn’t laughing or rolling his eyes. Both of his hands were resting firmly on his thighs. He was serious.
“You really mean that?” She asked.
“Sienna, I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known you. The last eighteen months have been crazy. I mean, look at the shit we’ve been through. If people pulled off even half the crap we did, I don’t think many of them would stick around.”
She couldn’t help but smile, he was right, the last eighteen months had been challenging for all of them. No matter how she looked at it, Jake was somehow a part of her life. Can children change all that?
“When was the last time you saw the doctor?” Jake asked.
“I had an appointment with Dr. Hughes this morning actually.”
“And how did that go, is everything okay with the baby?” Jake asked.
She smiled and rubbed her belly, “Everything’s fine. Perfect actually.” She looked up and stared into Jake’s eyes.
“Jake, I’m having twins,” she said.
“What?” He replied, excitement in his voice.
“Yep! Dr. Hughes performed my thirteen-week ultrasound and confirmed that there’s definitely two in there.”
Jake took a moment before his face widened with a smile.
“Twins? You’re having twins?” He asked, sounding both shocked and excited at the same time.
Sienna nodded.
“Do you know the sex?”
“No, he did say it was still a little too early to tell.”
“Sienna, that’s amazing news.”
She could see the excitement on his face, a sight she hadn’t seen since he scored his record deal.
She grabbed his hand and placed it on her
stomach. “There’s no movement going on at the moment, it’s still too early. But you can definitely feel a bump.”
Jake moved his hand around Sienna’s belly and he could definitely feel a distinctive bump.
“Jake, we need to talk about what happens if the twins don’t turn out to be yours.”
Jake sighed, the momentary excitement on his face turned to sudden disappointment.
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
“You know that no matter what happens, you’re always going to be a part of their lives, right? Every Christmas, birthday, soccer games, special occasions and school concerts.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Jake, this isn’t negotiable. If you don’t turn out to be their father, you’re still going to be in their lives. I know Lukas will feel the same way too. I don’t want our lives or our friendship ruined over something like this.”
“What happens if I do turn out to be the father and not Lukas?”
“Then I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
He smiled, he still thought about the prospect of being a father. At the moment, he didn’t want to think about anything else, even if the results didn’t work in his favor.
“Anyway, I’m going to clean up here. Why don’t you text Lukas, I’m sure he’ll want to see you.”
“You think?”
“Trust me. Call it… male intuition,” Jake laughed.
“Jake, there’s no such thing as male intuition. There’s not even such a thing as women’s intuition.”
“Sienna!”
“Fine!” As stubborn as she was, Sienna really didn’t want to risk another argument between them.
She sent Lukas a text before pouring herself some juice. “I might lay down in bed for a while until he replies,” she said.
“Now THAT, sounds like a great idea,” Jake said.
She leaned forward and pressed her cheek against his, kissing him softly.
“Thank you, Jake,” she whispered and headed to her room.
Jake tidied up around the kitchen before he too headed to his room. He removed his top and took out his laptop, he began making some notes when there was a knock on his door.
“Jake?” He heard Sienna call.
“Just a second,” he replied, putting his top back on. “Come in.”