Love's Unexpected Gift

by Toby Wise

  Mama gives me a pointed look before looking at Hayden’s throat. I cringe, shaking my head before looking away.

  “Well, I’m off. See ya later, pretty lady,” Mama says to Emma, stopping to kiss the top of her head.

  “See ya later, Granmama.”

  My heart threatens to bleed right out of my chest at the words. Mama’s eyes are watery as she smiles and waves. We all get up from the couch. Emma and I help Hayden make dinner. The familiarity of it simple and comforting. Yet, my heart breaks every time I look at Hayden. He doesn’t want me the way that I want him and it’s past time I dealt with that instead of dreaming about the day that changes.

  That night, I fall asleep on my side of the bed, my back to Hayden just as his is to me. When I wake up in the morning, we’ve moved to the middle of the bed, Hayden’s chest against my back, his arms wrapped around my middle. Neither of us say anything as we wake up, ignoring the closeness. Hopefully, my inner alpha will accept that this is all we’ll ever be. Hopefully this will be enough.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hayden

  I slowly roll the rolling pin, making sure the dough doesn’t stick. Emma stands on a chair next to me, watching carefully, her brows wrinkling as she follows my every move. “Alright,” I tell her once the dough is flat. “Now we take the cutters and cut out little shapes.”

  Emma holds up a stocking cookie cutter. “Sock!”

  “Yes. Well done, Emma.” I take her little hand in mine, helping her press the cutter down. She lets out a happy giggle as the cutter cuts straight through, making a little stocking cookie. I help her place it on the baking sheet before helping her cut the next one. We make a row of stocking cookies and then switch over to the candy cane cutter.

  “You’re doing so well, baby girl,” I say.

  “Emma eat cookies?”

  “Not yet. We have to bake them first.”

  “No,” she tells me, her brows furrowing. “Emma eat now.”

  “Nope.”

  “Yes?”

  “No.”

  “Emma yes. Uncle Hayhay no.”

  I roll my eyes as she tries to negotiate as best as a three year old can. I place the cookie sheet into the oven and Emma lets out a pained noise, her eyes wide and glued to the cookies. “Uncle Hayhay! No! Emma eat cookie now.”

  I smirk over at her before picking up a pinch of flour and flicking it at her nose. Her eyes cross as she ties to look at her own nose and it’s so fucking cute that I can’t help but take a picture, sending it to Matt. He’s gone for the weekend on a business trip. It’s been so weird sleeping in a bed all by myself now that I’m used to having him next to me. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice waking up snuggled against Matt every morning. Despite both agreeing that we should just go back to being friends, something between us has changed. We touch each other more freely, our gazes are gentler. We wake up plastered together and Matt’s always leaving with a kiss to Emma’s head and my cheek. It’s been nice.

  Emma lets out a delight scream as she reaches onto the table and grabs a handful of flour. “Hey,” I warn, my hands raised in defense. “Don’t.”

  But then she’s screaming, “it’s snowing!” as she throws a handful of flour at me. She giggles and giggles and giggles, her cheeks turning bright red and tears literally streaming down her face. I take a video as she laughs so hard she falls on her butt. And then, when she’s finally calming down, I grab another handful of flour and dump it over her head which gets her going again.

  “Snow! Snow! Snow!” Emma cries as we throw flour back and forth until we’re both covered in white and the kitchen is a mess. But I don’t care. I can clean the kitchen later, but this memory we’re making is priceless.

  Matt texts me back, telling me how much he misses us and can’t wait until he’s back home again. I let out a laugh, feeling more carefree and happy than I’ve felt in so long. I lean down, kissing the top of Emma’s head only to get a flour covered hand slapping my cheek, no doubt leaving the perfect imprint of her little hand.

  Just then, there’s a knock on the door. I look around the kitchen and worry hits me like a freight train. Who could be showing up unannounced? Hopefully they don’t mind the mess.

  I open the door slowly and my heart sinks. It’s Stephanie, our case worker. Fuck. Unannounced home visit. Why’d she have to pick now? It’s like she has a sixth sense and knows when to show up for it to be the absolute worst time.

  “Stephanie,” I greet, giving her my best smile.

  “Hello, Hayden.”

  I usher her inside as she stares at my cheek, no doubt noticing the handprint on my face. “Well, this is awkward,” I say, breaking the silence. “I know these things are unannounced, meant to catch us by surprise or whatever, but I was hoping to make a better impression.”

  Stephanie smiles at me. “It’s fine. It looks like you two were having fun.”

  I pick up Emma who buries her face against my throat. “We really were, weren’t we Emma? Were you having fun making cookies?”

  Emma finally pulls away enough to talk. “Yes. Cookies. Then it was snowing!”

  “Oh, dear,” Stephanie says. “It was snowing inside?”

  Emma nods, looking serious. “It snowed all over Uncle Hayhay. Because he said no Emma eat cookies first.”

  Stephanie laughs in amusement. “Cookies have to bake first.”

  Emma lets out a sigh. “Fine,” she announces before going back to nuzzling at my throat.

  “You can go ahead and look around,” I tell Stephanie. “I’m just gonna take us to my room and get us cleaned up real quick.”

  “Take your time,” Stephanie says, starting to wander around the apartment.

  I quickly make my way to my room, my heart beating against my ribs. My hands shake as I help Emma out of her clothes, wiping her down with a washcloth before doing the same for myself. We switch into clean clothes. At the last second, I take out my phone and text Matt. He texts back straight away, telling me everything will be okay, reminding me of how good we are for Emma. It soothes my frayed nerves, giving me confidence as I step back into the living room.

  Stephanie is on the couch, writing in her notebook. My stomach is tied up in knots. What if our little afternoon of fun costs us, what if this was all a mistake? When Stephanie looks up, there’s a kind smile on her lips. “Everything is looking great, Hayden,” she tells me.

  I set Emma down on the ground, grabbing her coloring book and crayons. She takes to coloring right away, leaving Stephanie and I to talk.

  “It does?”

  “Of course. Your apartment is baby proofed, everything looks to be in order. You’re fantastic with Emma. I don’t see anything that gives me pause.”

  “Nothing?” I ask, looking over at the messy kitchen.

  Stephanie smiles knowingly. “You two were having fun and you weren’t doing anything that was unsafe. Plus, you’re embarrassed by the mess I’m finding. That says a lot about your character.”

  “Oh,” I breathe out. “Okay.”

  Stephanie reaches over, patting my hand. “You’re doing great, Hayden. I’m just disappointed that Matt wasn’t here as well.”

  “He’s on a business trip right now.” The oven dings, letting me know the cookies are done. “Would you like one?” I ask Stephanie as she follows me into the kitchen.

  She contemplates for a moment before saying, “how about one for the road?”

  We continue to talk and I tell her how life is, how we’re all getting along. She gives me her notes before happily reporting that the paperwork is almost finished and soon enough we’ll officially be Emma’s parents. All in all, it’s a good visit and ends on a good note.

  After Stephanie leaves, I hand Emma a cookie. “Thank you,” she tells me sweetly, giving me her brightest smile. “I love you.”

  My heart feels like it might literally burst. “I love you too, Emma.” I can’t wait to tell all of this to Matt when he gets home. My chest longs for him, longs for his
presence. He hasn’t even been gone that long but I already miss him. I realize in that moment that regardless of whether or not Matt and I are sleeping together, we’re still a family. I smile over at Emma as she munches her cookie, making pleased little hums. We’re a family.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Hayden

  I lean against the door frame as Matt tucks Emma into bed. I’m hit with a wave of deja vu for a moment, remembering the very first night Emma was with us. Was that really less than two months ago? Everything is going so well, all of us fitting together.

  “I’m happy you’re home,” Emma says through a wide yawn. “Missed you.”

  “I missed you too, baby girl,” Matt whispers before leaning down and kissing Emma’s forehead. He straightens up, stretching his arms over his head with a groan as he makes sure her night light is on. “Love you,” he says finally as he comes over to me, pulling me out of the room.

  It’s the first night since Matt’s been back from his business trip and Emma and I both missed him while he was gone. Already my inner alpha is soothed, having him and his scent back in our home.

  I follow behind Matt as he walks to the freezer, pulling a bottle of rum out. Then he rummages around in the fridge until he finds some Cola. Matt pours the Cola straight into the bottle of rum, swirling it around before turning to me with a triumphant smile on his face.

  “Come on,” Matt says putting his coat on.

  “Where are you going? We just put Emma to sleep.”

  Matt holds up the baby monitor, showing Emma sleeping blissfully. “Come on. Let’s go out to our spot.”

  Without another thought, I bundle up in my jacket, scarf, and hat, following Matt out of our apartment. As we walk up the stairs to the roof, I thank Mother Nature for being mild this year. The snow hasn’t stuck to the ground yet so we should be able to sit up on the roof at our spot. And yes, Matt and I have a spot. Jeff and Tristen used to tease us mercilessly about it but once we’d brought them up here they understood why we loved it so much.

  Pushing through the door, I take a moment to find the crate that’s always up here, using it to keep the door from locking behind us. As always, I walk over to the edge of the roof, looking down at the empty street below before sitting down, leaning by back against the wall. Matt sits beside me, both of us facing where the sun is setting.

  “Here,” he whispers, passing me the rum. I take a drink, sighing at the burn. I take a few sips until my belly is beginning to warm before passing it back. Up here, above the world, I feel like we’re in our own little bubble. Nothing can touch us.

  I slouch down slightly, putting my head on Matt’s shoulder. He readjusts until he can wrap his arm around me. This is comfortable for us, just sitting up in our spot. We used to come up here once a week just to look at the sky and talk about everything and anything. This is where Matt told me he’d been promoted to branch manager. This is where I told him my mom died. This is our spot.

  Matt lets out a sigh and my eyes are glued to where his breath puffs out with little clouds. “I miss them,” he says, barely above a whisper.

  “Me too,” I say, because he doesn’t have to explain. I know he’s talking about Jeff and Tristen. “I miss them every single day.”

  “I wish they were here. Emma used her potty for the first time and they’re missing it,” he says with conviction, his voice sounding heavy with emotion. He takes a moment to gulp another drink, passing me the bottle afterwards.

  “I know what you mean,” I say, taking another drink. Even though we’re both sad and missing our friends, my lips curl up into a smile as I think about them, remember them. “I still remember when they mated.”

  I feel Matt shake his head, his chin sitting on the top of my head. “God, those two,” he murmurs but I can hear the way he’s smiling. “I still can’t believe it.”

  I snort. “I saw it coming a mile away. They always said, ‘don’t worry, guys, we’re waiting to exchange mating bites. We have college and classes. We’re mature and can control ourselves’.”

  Matt laughs and the sound warms my belly better than the rum ever could. “And then one day they showed up with matching mating bites. Do you remember their excuse?”

  I nod my head. “Of course I do. They looked us right in the eye and shrugged, saying they can’t be responsible for what happens when they’re horny.”

  Matt lets out a laugh that rings through the air, echoing up here on the roof. I join him, shocked when I find my cheeks growing wet. I bury my face against Matt’s chest and without a second thought, his arms are wrapping around me. “God, I miss them so much.”

  “Do you think they’re watching over us?”

  I pull back, looking into Matt’s brown eyes. “I like to think so, yeah. I think they’re making sure we do our best for Emma.”

  Matt nods. “Yeah. I think so, too. Plus even in death those two would be stubborn as hell.”

  I snort, shaking my head at Matt. I lean against him again, tilting my head up to look at the sky. The sun’s gone down and the stars have started coming out. “Well,” I say, my eyes never leaving the sky. “If you two are out there, I hope we’re making you proud.”

  “And we love you. And miss you like crazy.”

  With our arms wrapped around each other, our eyes on the stars, I can’t stop myself from thinking this is real. Sure, we don’t have sex but this feels so good, so right. Matt pulls a pair of gloves from his pockets, handing them to me with a small smile.

  “I knew you’d forget,” he whispers and my heart clenches. Even if this is all I ever get, maybe it’s enough.

  I look up again once my gloves are on. We let out matching gasps of surprise as a shooting star shoots across the sky. Matt’s arms tighten around me. “Thank you,” I whisper, my heart feeling at peace.

  Matt leans down, laying a kiss to the top of my head and my stomach breaks out in butterflies. I swear he’s sniffing my hair but I don’t let myself hope, telling myself it’s in my head. My mind goes back to Jeff and Tristen, wondering what they’d think of this. I just hope they’re smiling down at us, happy with what we’re doing. I’m sure Tristen is rolling his eyes at me and my pining. The thought puts a smile on my face.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Matt

  Only one week until Christmas and of course I’ve left my shopping until the last minute. I bustle through the crowds, trying to find the toy store. Despite the overabundance of people, there’s only a handful of customers inside the toy store I duck into. There are rows and rows of stuffed animals, all with their own personalities. I smile, going to find the penguin section, knowing exactly what I’d like to get for Emma.

  I find the perfect penguin, complete with it’s own winter hat and scarf. Emma’s going to love him. I head over to the cashier to check out. She gives me a wide smile. “This for your kid?”

  I smile back, cursing my cheeks for warming up. “Yeah,” I tell her. “My three year old is obsessed with penguins right now. My mate and I are buying mostly penguin themed gifts for her.”

  “Cute! She’ll be so happy to find this on Christmas.”

  I thank the cashier before taking my bag and leaving. There’s just something about saying the words that has adrenaline surging through me. My daughter. I have a daughter. And calling Hayden my mate to a complete stranger has my hands shaking. It felt so natural. So right.

  Ever since my rut, something has shifted between Hayden and I. It was subtle but I’ve noticed it. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete idiot. We act like a mated pair, just like my mom said. The only thing missing is the sex but god, we’re even sleeping in the same bed!

  Without thinking, I take out my earpiece before dialing Noah.

  “Hey, Matthew!” he greets cheerily.

  “Noah,” I say and my voice comes out more urgent than I meant.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. More than fine. I’m great. Oh my god, I’m fucking rambling.” I take a deep breath as
I listen to Noah laugh in my ear and the sound calms me down, makes me smile. “Okay. Let me start again. Hi, Noah. Are you still planning on taking Emma tonight?”

  “Of course! I have the house all clean and pizzas in the freezer.”

  “Great. Emma love pizza right now. But god forbid you ask her to eat a banana. Apparently those are gross at the moment.”

  Noah snorts. “Mac’s the same way.” There’s a pause before Noah asks, “so what’s got you so excited you’re rambling like an excited pup.”

  I watch as a family passes by me. They’re holding hands as their kid rides on one of their shoulders. They look so happy, so in love. “I think I’m ready to take the leap,” I tell my friend. “I’m ready to live without any ‘what if’s’.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “I--” I rub my fingers over my beard, really thinking. “I feel like the risk is worth the reward?” I dodge an older couple, their hair white and aged but the smiles they have for each other makes me smile so wide my cheeks hurt. I want that. “We’re already a couple. Noah, we do everything a mated couple does. We even smell mated. If Hayden really didn’t feel the same way, he would have let me sleep on the couch. He wouldn’t have shared my rut with me.” I shake my head. “Right?”

  “You know I can’t answer that for you,” he says slowly. “But if I were a betting man, I’d bet that he feels the same.” Noah takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before going on. “Remember that first day I met you at the park? Already I could see the way you both looked at each other, the way you were both holding back. I think you’re right. Sometimes the risk is worth it.”

  “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it tonight, Noah. I’m gonna tell him how I feel. I’m gonna explain how much I love him.”

  “What if it all blows up in your face?”

  I let out a long breath. “Then the couch will have my name written on it,” I say with a snort, my belly in knots. “But it’ll be worth it. Then I’ll finally know.”