Dazzled and Dazed

by Harley McRide

  “Brother, please do not let them in the delivery room, they will totally take pictures, but I think with the new additions he will be too busy,” I said, and Fin and Michael laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” Cal asked as he and Falon joined the mix. Fin composed himself and explained what we were discussing.

  “Are you talking about Dad’s girls?” Bry laughed. “Dude, for the more observant out of all of us, you’re kinda slow,” Bry said as his big body sat down between Fin and me, causing us to shift to make room for him.

  “Dammit, there are other places you could’ve sat,” I said, and Fin agreed.

  “Could’ve, but didn’t want to listen to Tony, Jet, Reed, Reese, and Ranger talk about security shit. Besides, I don’t get to aggravate the crap out of you guys enough anymore. Miss it,” Bry said and laughed.

  “We see your ass every day, dipshit,” Falon said as he, Cal, and Michael sat on the other couch that attached to make the ‘L’ shaped piece of furniture. Cal smacked Falon on the back of the head, and the rest of us laughed. “What the fuck?”

  “Miss doing that,” Cal said.

  “Need I remind you assholes that I now have a woman who can kick every one of your asses.”

  “Do you even care how ridiculous you sound using your woman as a threat?” I said disgustedly when the others groaned.

  Falon took a drink of his beer, then looked at each of us. “No, not really. I’m comfortable in my manhood to accept that my woman is strong and a badass. The added bonus of her being physically fit, well...” Falon lifted his brow, and I rolled my eyes. The man had no shame.

  “Brother, I watched Mel this week showing Jet some interesting moves in the ring. You should be afraid, very afraid,” I said and tipped my beer bottle at him.

  “Please, she can’t resist me,” Falon said, and each of us groaned.

  “Jeez, you’re so pitiful. I don’t know why Mel puts up with you,” Mia said and sat on the arm of the couch beside me.

  Falon looked at Mia and smirked. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes anticipating what would come out of my brother’s mouth this time.

  “Well, to start with, she likes the size of my—”

  “For God’s sake, Falon, don’t finish that,” Bry said, cutting Falon off.

  “She started it,” Falon said and pointed at Mia. I dropped my hand from my face and watched Mia as she stuck her tongue out at him.

  “Seriously, don’t you think it’s time for you to get over not being the baby of the family?” Fin pointed at Falon, then turned to Mia. “You know he says and does shit to get you to act like a five-year-old, and you fall for it every time.” I chuckled when Mia flipped Fin off.

  “Oh, that is righteous coming from you, Fin. What’s the excuse for how the rest of you act?” Mia said and waved her had to include all of us. Fin laughed, and Mia glared. I patted the leg she had curled on the armrest beside me.

  “Damn, I’m with Bry and Cal. Miss this shit,” Michael said and laughed.

  “I have to agree. Been a while since the seven us sat like this together,” I said, and the others smiled and nodded.

  “Shit, Mia and I are the only ones who are left that don’t have to answer to anyone to do what we want. Isn’t that right, Mia?” Cal said. When Mia didn’t answer right away, I looked up at her.

  “What?” Mia asked, and then looked around.

  “You didn’t answer Cal. Hiding a man that you have to answer to, sis?” I said and laughed when she smacked my arm.

  “Umm...sure. You know me, I have...a couple men hidden,” Mia said and flipped her hand, then stood. “Going to help Mom set dinner on the table.”

  Mia walked away, and I frowned, then looked at the others. “She’s kidding, right?” I asked, which then caused the others to frown. We all turned and watched Mia leave the room. When we turned back around and looked at each, we burst out laughing.

  “She couldn’t even keep a boyfriend hidden from us when we didn’t live here,” Fin said.

  “You think when she does settle down, it will be in a ménage like the rest of you?” Falon said, and we glared at him. Falon’s hands went out, “Just asking. Your women have two men, which I find nothing wrong with that. Of course, Mel didn’t need two because let’s be honest, she has me.”

  “Holy shit, how the fuck can you walk with the weight of that head on your shoulders.” Falon shrugged at me in response. Michael was the one to smack the back of Falon’s head this time.

  “You’re such a dumbass. Did you forget Ranger and Maria aren’t in a threesome?” Cal said.

  “No. I didn’t count them because they are on the Roark side. It was Mom’s uncles who were dipping their oil sticks into Aunt—”

  “Dude, do not even finish that statement. Good grief, Mel should receive a medal for putting up with your ass,” Michael said, then looked toward Zoey when our dad told her and Brook they needed to sit down.

  We watched Dad lead them to the new lounger and point, but Zoey and Brook looked at each other and shook their heads. Dad moved them to the two recliners that sat on the opposite side and were separated by a table. The two women sat, and then I watched as they glared at the other women who were fighting not to laugh.

  “What the hell is up with that lounger? Zoey and Brook aren’t sitting on it, and Brit told Jet and me to stay off it when we got here,” I asked, and the others shrugged.

  “Beats me. Brook told Tony and I the same thing but didn’t explain. Anthony and Sonia have one too in their house. I just figured maybe it wasn’t made to hold our weight, but looks pretty solid,” Fin said.

  “Got me. Zoey’s sat on it several times when we’ve been here. Even said it helps with her back, but today she told Reese and me not to sit on it,” Michael said.

  “When Mel told me to stay off it, she said it was special to Mom and Dad. I figured it was her way of telling me not to break it,” Falon said and shrugged.

  “I’ve sat on it. It’s comfortable,” Cal said.

  When the couch shook, I looked at Bry and so did Fin. The man’s shoulders were shaking, but he held in his laughter.

  “Okay, spill it,” I said and elbowed him. It took a minute for Bry to compose himself while we waited and stared at him.

  “What if I said you really don’t want to know,” Bry said and smiled at us.

  “Oh for fuck’s sake, just tell us. I’m sure you and Reed got told the same shit. I know Petal,” Falon said and rolled his eyes. When Bry chuckled again, I got worried that maybe we were better off not knowing.

  “Asshole, you don’t know Petal as well as you think. And you should be glad because Reed and I would hate to have to kill you. Petal told us about the chair. We are considering getting one, but ours will go in the bedroom,” Bry said and laughed when Falon frowned at him.

  “Why the fuck would you buy a chair that won’t hold you? Not to mention put it in your bedroom,” Falon said and looked from the chair to Bry. I wasn’t saying shit because every time one of them said anything, Bry chuckled.

  Bry pulled his phone out and Fin and I leaned into him. While he brought the chair up online, Cal, Falon, and Michael moved to the coffee table in front of us so they could see, too. Bry hit the mute button and held the phone flat. We all leaned in to get a better view, and Bry touched the play button.

  The video started and I stared at the small screen, then I looked over to the chair and back again.

  “Holy shit,” Falon whispered. When I looked up, I noticed the other men were walking toward us.

  “What the hell are you guys looking at?” Tony asked. Bry handed the phone to Tony, and the other men gathered around him. The rest of us watched and waited.

  The guys watched, and then Tony, Jet, and Ranger looked over to the chair that now stood out as if it was the largest piece of furniture in the room. Jet looked at me, lifted his eyebrows, and I smiled and shrugged.

  “Goddammit, can’t you fuckers keep anything to yourselves? Why does everyon
e in this family feel the need to share?” Ranger said, and that was all it took to have the rest of us laughing. The women looked over at us, but they didn’t get a chance to ask what we were laughing about.

  “Dinner is on the table. Let’s eat before it gets cold,” my mom said from the doorway that led into the dining room.

  Once everyone was seated, grace was said, and then the platters filled with food started making their way around the table.

  “Every time I’ve been able to make family dinner, there are more people around the table. I don’t know how your mom and dad do it?” Jet said as he passed the platter of roast beef to Brit who sat between us.

  “I don’t know, they’ve always done it. Just the faces change. Growing up, there would be some of Dad’s work buddies or Kink and his parents along with the Roarks. Ms. Maddie, Brook, and Reese were here. Even a few of our other friends. I can’t remember any dinners that there weren't extra people,” I said and shrugged.

  “Said by someone who didn’t grow up an only child,” Brit said between bites.

  “God, I loved coming here for dinners or even just to hang out with Mia. The O’Malley house was full of laughter and noise. Something was always going on here,” Brook chuckled.

  “You can admit you came to see Tony and me,” Fin said, and laughed.

  “You two didn’t know I existed,” Brook said and smacked Fin’s arm.

  “Ah, baby, but look what happened when we did,” Tony said, leaned over, and kissed Brook on the top of her head as he placed his palm on her stomach.

  “Dude, that sounded a little creepy,” I said and laughed when Tony flipped me off.

  “There is an impressionable young boy present, Tony, knock it off,” Sonia scolded, and my lips twitched.

  “Who wasn’t paying any attention until you said something, Ma,” Tony said and winked at Rucker who giggled. While the Roarks continued arguing, I leaned toward Brit.

  “What was that about being an only child?” I chuckled when she elbowed me.

  “Your family is great. You’re just used to it. I bet you have never felt lonely,” Brit said and looked around the table. I did the same. Ten different conversations had to be going on at the same time. Everyone was eating, laughing, and talking. When I looked at my dad, he was smiling at my mom and patting her hand.

  “You’re right, I’ve never been lonely. But you are wrong about one thing, though.” Brit looked at me and frowned.

  “What?”

  “They’re your family, too, and Jet’s.” I couldn’t read the expression that crossed her face at my words.

  “You know I love this family, but you can’t make me claim Falon,” Jet said and laughed.

  “Hey, I’m the coolest one in the family,” Falon said.

  “Sweetie, how many times have I told you that is only in your mind. Others do not think that,” Mel said and ate the last bite of her food.

  Before Falon could respond Michael tapped his fork on his glass and everyone stopped talking to look at him.

  “Since almost everyone is done eating,” Michael said as he looked down at Zoey, who scooped another helping of mashed potatoes on her plate and reached for a roll. He smiled, then continued. “I have some news to share.”

  “Is there a baby hiding and my girl is having triplets?” my father said with a huge grin. I shook my head when Ms. Maddie clapped and yelled out wouldn’t that be wonderful and my mother, the sanest of the paternal bunch, joined in.

  “Oh, Madeline, that would give you, me, and Reilly each one to hold.”

  Michael pinched his nose and growled, “No! And she is mine and Reese’s! It is creeping me the fuck out every time you say that. Hands OFF!”

  Reese shook his head, and the rest of us laughed while the parents discussed the benefits of having three grandbabies at one time. I looked around the room, and then sucked in a breath.

  Oh yeah here we go. Let the crazy begin.

  “Maybe Brooklyn will have twins. You hear all the time about babies hiding behind the other one and the doctor missing it,” Anthony said, which started off another round with the parents.

  “They’re teasing, right?” Brit said and looked at Jet and me when my dad mentioned how many grandkids they could have in a short time if the women had multiple births.

  “Babe, I’d like to tell you yes, but I can’t lie to you,” I said, and Brit’s eyes grew wide.

  “Dude, don’t scare her,” Jet laughed.

  “I’m not trying.” I shrugged, and Jet’s laughter cut off.

  “Brit, Jet, I know you both are only children, but is there any multiple births in your family history?”

  Brit started choking, and I handed her the glass of water by her plate and patted her back.

  “Umm...not that I’m aware of,” Jet answered, then shot his eyes to me. I shrugged. They’d both been around my family long enough to know nothing was sacred and no one was exempt from their quest to raise the population in the Bronx. With the parents, if you stayed quiet, they would move on to someone else.

  “What a pity,” my dad said, and then went back into the fray with the other parents.

  “Why is no one stopping them?” Brit whispered.

  “Okay, I’ll let you two in on how this works because, evidently, you haven’t been to enough of these dinners. Since they’ve hit us already, we should be good. So, sit back and watch because if I’m right, this dinner is fixing to be epic.”

  “Right about what? What are you talking about, dude?” Jet asked.

  “Look around.” Jet looked around the table, then back at me.

  “The rest are being too quiet.”

  “Huh. You two are crazy. They are being quiet because no one can get a word in,” Brit whispered but looked around.

  “Bets on who cracks first?” I chuckled.

  “Bry, Reed, and I are getting married because I lost a bet with Reilly!” Petal shouted over everyone.

  “Say what?” Bry and Reed said at the same time and looked down at Petal.

  “Fin, Tony, and I didn’t tell anyone we had an ultrasound at my last appointment. We’re having a boy!” Fin’s and Tony’s mouths dropped opened as they looked down at Brooklyn.

  “Really, you felt the need to blurt that out!” Fin said.

  “I don’t do well under pressure,” Brook said and shrugged.

  “Ah, sweetie, a grandson,” Ms. Maddie said and went to Brook and hugged her. When she stepped back, my mom and Sonia did the same. “I’m not sure why you young people feel the need to keep secrets,” Ms. Maddie said and looked at Caine who shrugged. “Caine asked me to marry him, I said yes. Plus, I’ve decided to retire from Southside Haven. The young man who has taken over is doing a wonderful job and I’m going to recommend they hire him permanently. Now, see how easy it is. We are family, no reason to hide things.”

  “What the hell, Ma?” Reese and Brook both said.

  “Holy shit,” Brit said, and I smiled and leaned over so she and Jet both could hear.

  “Just wait, I don’t feel it’s over.”

  “Well, seems this has turned into the dinner of surprises,” Dad said, stood, and rolled his sleeve up. “I’m no longer a—what is that saying, Petal?”

  “A tattoo virgin.”

  “Yes, my girl, that’s right. And look at what she came up with. It is the O’Malley family crest. I have to go back a couple more times for her to color it in. It is mostly yellow with some green and red,” he said and turned so we could all see the outline of the crest on his upper arm.

  “Damn, that is going to look good when it’s finished, Dad. I might have to have mine and Reed’s woman do one for me,” Bry said.

  “Nothing like dinner and a show. Angelique is going to be so upset she missed dinner,” Brit said, and Jet and I laughed when she grabbed a roll and bit into it while she looked around the table and waited for whatever else was revealed.

  “So is Mace,” Cal said and laughed.

  “You’re awfully quiet, Mia,
” I said, and her head whipped to me.

  “Why do you think I’m hiding anything?”

  “Geez, Mia, paranoid much,” I laughed.

  “Damn, sis. I think what Sean meant was you never pass up a chance to give everyone shit, yet you have sat quietly. Are you feeling okay?” Cal asked, and Mia waved her hand and chuckled.

  “Why wouldn’t I be? Nothing wrong with me. Healthy as a horse.”

  I looked at Cal and lifted a brow. Cal looked at me and shrugged. Our sister was up to something, but that would have to wait for another time.

  “Falon, you got anything to share?” Falon smiled at our dad and shook his head.

  “Nope, Mel and I are good. Right, babe?” Falon said.

  Mel looked at him, slapped her hand over her mouth, and jumped up and ran out of the room. Falon paled, stood, and went to follow, but stopped in the doorway.

  “This family sucks. You all had to jinx me. I swear on all that is holy if any of you poked holes in my condoms I will kick your ass.”

  “I have to agree with Falon, which has to be a first, you guys all suck. I am going to remember this, mark my words, I am going to remember this, and you guys will be so screwed,” Michael said and sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “He was like that when he was a little kid, too,” my mother said softly and patted Michael on the back. “Just let him sort it out in his head, he will be fine.”

  “It will come back around to you, baby,” Zoey said, patted Michael’s arm, and took another bite of food. Reese shook his head and laughed before grabbing a roll and putting it on her plate when she pointed at the basket.

  When Brit chuckled, I looked at her. “I was picturing Zoey turning purple like the girl in Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Then Michael and Reese rolling her out,” she said and smiled at us.

  Yeah, she was going to fit perfectly in this family. I looked around and once again paused, yeah, they weren’t done yet. I was so happy I dodged this whole thing this dinner. I knew the next one I was going to need to come clean, but I already had a plan for that. Falon was my ace in the hole, all I had to do was let him find some notes or something in my tat room, and then he would blab. I planned on doing this before the next dinner so they could get all the ribbing done in one fell swoop. It would be one of those rip the Band-Aid off moments.