Last Goodbye

by Holly C. Webb

Matt stared at him for a moment, then turned and bolted out of the room.

  “What the hell were you thinking, Cassidy?” Evan said turning to me and giving me a disapproving look. “What if I hadn’t come looking for you?”

  “Why is it any of your business, Evan?” I shot back angrily, feeling completely mortified. “It’s not like I need your permission.”

  Evan looked at me for a moment and then his expression changed as if the penny dropped. He knew I had heard what he’d said.

  “Cass,” he said stepping towards me.

  “Don’t Cass me,” I snapped back as I walked towards him. “You and I are done.”

  I pushed passed him and stormed out of the laundry room, mortified to see everyone just standing there, watching US.

  “Party’s over,” I said as I walked towards the stairs. “Everyone, get the hell out.”

  I stormed up the stairs to my room. Once inside I locked the door and slid to the ground completely heart broken. I knew right then I had just lost my best friend.

  Chapter 2

  Cassie

  2019

  “I can’t believe finals are less than a week away,” Flick said as she lay on her back on the floor, her legs up on the bed and holding a book up above her head so she could read it. I looked up from my book and smiled.

  It still surprises me that in the last two years, this girl had become one of the most important people in my life.

  The first day I arrived on campus of UCLA, I was determined to keep my head down and lose myself in my studies. After the four years of hell that was high school, I learned how to make myself invisible.

  After my fight with Evan, I found it impossible to let people close to me, so I spent most of high school alone. That’s when I discovered I liked taking photographs. I began to carry a camera everywhere I went. It made being alone easier if I looked like I was busy.

  I had considered joining the school paper, but Evan worked on it, so I decided to steer clear of that, at least until my senior year, and Evan had left for college. Working at the paper had made my senior year somewhat more bearable, but still I was glad to leave it behind and head to college.

  The minute Felicity Wallace, or Flick as she was better known, came thundering into the room, I knew the quiet life was most definitely not an option. She was a live wire, that was for sure.

  Flick was your typical southern belle; beautiful, confident and full of life. She was kind and caring, with a heart of gold. The minute we met we connected and have been inseparable ever since.

  “Explain to me again why you are lying on the floor?” I asked as I watched her with great curiosity as I chewed the end of my pen. She always made me smile with her funny ways.

  “Because, I am trying to keep the blood flowing to my brain,” Flick replied, deadpan. “Hoping it will help me retain this.”

  “I don’t think that’s a thing,” I laughed as turned back to my books.

  “Well neither is wearing those earrings you insist on wearing to every exam,” Flick said as she took her feet down from the bed and sitting up straight. “But you still insist on wearing them every time you take a test.”

  “That’s different,” I sighed, knowing that even after two years, she was still dying to know the story behind the earrings. I glanced at the box on my nightstand and sighed. “Now stop talking, or we will never get through these books.”

  There was nothing I wouldn’t tell Flick; she was my best friend. Nothing, that was, except the story of Evan and me.

  It’s been almost six years since I last spoke Evan and still it was something that hurt me deeply.

  My mind wandered back to the night of my fifteenth birthday. I remembered the look on his face when he saw me with Matt. Even now, all these years later, I still cringe when I remember how he looked at me. I also remembered the things he said about me to Charlotte Palmer in the back garden. I remembered how I cried when I locked myself in my bedroom.

  My dad pleaded with me for days to come out of the room. Evan even came by the next day and tried to talk to me, but I refused to listen to him.

  And the truth was, although he had hurt me and let me down, I was angry at myself the most. I was embarrassed about what had happened and I didn’t know how to fix it. So, I did the only thing I could think of doing. I refused to back down and refused to talk to Evan again.

  I missed him more than words could ever describe, but I’d let it go too far and I had no one to blame but myself.

  “CASSIE!” Flick called and I jumped with fright. I was surprised to find her sitting on the bed in front of me. “Hey, girl. Are you okay? You were miles away.”

  “Yeah,” I smiled at her. “I’m just tired I guess.”

  “You are always tired lately,” Flick said giving me a broad smile. “I think the summer has come just at the right time. You get to go home and enjoy a little rest and relaxation.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. Part of me was dying to get home and see my dad, but part of me wished I never had to go back. Things were just easier here. I felt more relaxed than I did at home.

  Back home, every time I left the house it was always with the fear that I might bump into Evan, and that was something I really didn’t want to do. Which I know is totally ridiculous, but it was how I felt.

  That summer of my fifteenth birthday, I spent most of it hiding out in my room, much to my dad’s frustration.

  Even when the Millers had their annual Labour Day barbeque, I refused to go. My dad insisted, but I stuck to my guns. I told him, I was not feeling well and that he should go without me. He did.

  About twenty minutes after he left, there was a soft tap on the door. I remembered how sick I felt, afraid it would be Evan, and I would have to face him for the first time in over a month. I sat up on my bed and took a deep breath.

  “Come in,” I called out nervously.

  “Hey, kiddo,” Mike Miller said as he popped his head around the door. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure,” I said as I cleared my belongings from the bed.

  “So, your dad said you aren’t coming to the barbeque,” Mike said as he sat on the end of my bed.

  “I’m not feeling well,” I said as casually as I could, but I knew Mike could see right through me and he wasn’t buying it.

  “Come on, Cass,” he said in his usual brotherly tone. “Hasn’t this gone on long enough? You can’t ignore Evan forever. You guys are best friends.”

  “Then why didn’t he come over here himself,” I asked. I could see I had surprised him with my honesty.

  “Look,” Mike sighed. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I do know that this is crazy. Evan is miserable, and clearly so are you. Why not just come over and make up?”

  “No,” I replied abruptly. “Why should I be the one to go over there? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “It’s not about who did or didn’t do anything wrong,” Mike pushed. “It’s about you two being friends.”

  “Friends don’t talk about you behind your back, Mike,” I said feeling more than a little angry. “Friends don’t use the one thing you fear more than anything in the world, against you. And friends don’t judge you.”

  “What the hell happened between you two?” Mike asked and I knew he was thrown by my reply.

  “He hurt me, Mike,” I said as suddenly the tears began to flow. “He hurt me in a way I never imagined he could have. I can’t go over there. Please understand.”

  “Okay, kiddo,” Mike said, giving me a big hug. “But just because you two are not talking, doesn’t mean I’m no longer your big brother. You need me for anything, kid. You just ask.”

  I smiled as I remembered how sweet Mike was that day. I still talked to him regularly. He is a junior associate in a posh law firm in San Francisco. We email each other once a week, but we never talked about Evan.

  “I’m hungry,” Flick said as she got up from the bed. “I need food. Come with me to get something to eat. I don’t want to go alone.
”

  “I’m not in the mood for anything,” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s my nerves about finals, but my appetite seems to be almost non-existent these days.”

  “Yes, and you are getting too skinny, girl,” Flick scolded me as she pulled me up from my bed. “You have to eat.”

  I turned to pick up my books and put them away, agreeing that maybe it was time for a break, when suddenly I felt like the room was spinning and I was going to be sick. I dropped back down on the bed and closed my eyes.

  “Cassidy,” Flick said with concern in her voice. “Are you okay, what’s wrong?”

  “I just need a minute,” I replied. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, so I knew it would pass soon. “I just feel a little dizzy.”

  “Cassie,” Flick said sitting back down next to me. “You are pushing yourself too hard. You need to take things a little easier. You are one of the smartest people I know. You’re going to ace these finals, so stop worrying.”

  “I’ll try,” I replied with a smile, grateful for her support, before I added. “Maybe I am hungry after all.”

  We both headed down to the mess hall, and I laughed as Flick piled my plate high with food. She was determined to fatten me back up, no matter how much I protested.

  We found a table next to the window and sat down.

  “Don’t look now, but Danny Monroe just walked in,” Flick said in a hushed voice as she leaned forward.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I whispered back and laughed. “Is it a secret that he eats food?”

  “You are impossible,” she sighed before rolling her eyes. “The hottest guy on campus it totally into you and you act like he doesn’t exist.”

  “I know he exists, Flick,” I replied with a smile. “He just isn’t the centre of my world.”

  “He’s coming this way,” she quickly said under her breath and fidgeted nervously in her seat. I looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

  “Hi, Cassidy,” the voice I instantly recognised as Danny Monroe’s said suddenly from beside me. “Hey, Flick.”

  “Hi, Danny,” we both replied, almost in sync.

  “So, Cassidy,” he said as he pulled out a chair from the table beside us and sat down next to me. “Beta house is having a party this weekend; I was wondering if you would like to come?”

  “Sure,” I said giving Danny a bright smile. “Flick and I would love to come.”

  “Cool,” he said as he nervously smiled at Flick. “Of course, Flick is invited too. But I was actually asking, if…um…you would be my date?”

  “Oh!” I said unsure of what to say. I did like Danny. He was a good-looking guy and seemed to be genuinely a nice person, but still something scared me.

  “Come on, Cass,” he gently pushed. “Next week are finals, after that, we will all be going home for the summer. One date, that’s all I’m asking.”

  I looked at Flick and smiled when I saw the expression of horror on her face, thinking I may say no. If I was honest, I wanted to. I was still terrified of letting someone close to me. I was always afraid I would be hurt.

  I told myself that was the only reason I wanted to say no. However, if I was honest, I knew it was more than that. It was about Evan too.

  I knew it was stupid. I knew he had moved on. He’d dated lots of girls in high school and the last I heard he was seeing some girl that was in his class in college, but still something inside me always made me wonder, what if?

  This is stupid, I thought to myself. It’s time to move on Cass,

  “Okay,” I said surprising both Flick and Danny.

  “Okay?” Danny repeated, sounding a mixture of happy and surprised. “Wow, yes, okay.”

  He stood up and gave me the biggest smile and I had to admit; he was pretty cute.

  “Okay,” he said again. “I will collect you from your room at seven on Saturday.”

  “I’ll be ready,” I laughed as he almost fell over his chair.

  “Okay,” he said once more then turned to Flick. “I will see you too Flick. I can give you a ride to the party if you need one.”

  “Thanks, Danny,” Flick gushed, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Bye, Cassie,” Danny said, looking at me once more before he turned and walked away.

  “OH, MY FREAKING GOD!” Flick squealed once he was out of earshot. “You’re going on a date with Danny Monroe.”

  “I know, Flick,” I laughed as I balled up a napkin and threw it at my friend. “I was here too, you know.”

  “I know,” Flick said and stuck out her tongue. “I’m just happy for you.”

  “I know you are,” I smiled at my friend, grateful that she cared. “But now you have to tell me what the hell I am going to wear.”

  “We have to go shopping.” Flick squealed excitedly again. “Yay. This is going to be so much fun.”

  “Oh lord,” I laughed as in leaned forward and gently hit my head off the table.

  “Don’t you dare spoil my fun, Cassidy North,” Flick said matter of factly. “We are hitting the mall tonight.”

  I looked up, about to argue but was stopped by the change of expression on Flick’s face.

  “Cassie, your nose is bleeding!” she exclaimed as she grabbed her napkin from her plate and handed it to me. “Here, use this.”

  “Where the hell did this come from,” I said as I pinched my nose and held my head back.

  “Did you bang it on the table?” Flick asked.

  “No,” I replied.

  “Come on,” She said standing up suddenly. “Let’s get you to the nurse.”

  I sighed and I stood up and reluctantly followed her.

  Maybe this is a sign, I thought miserably.

  “How do I look?” I asked Flick as I turned to her and gave her a nervous smile. I had settled on a pretty cream summer dress and a pair of nude coloured shoes. I left my caramel coloured hair down in soft curls around my shoulders and applied my makeup, so it wasn’t too heavy, which was how I liked it.

  “You look amazing,” Flick said as she gave me a big smile. She had chosen a short skirt and a top that left little to the imagination, but she could so pull it off.

  Flick had long, blonde hair, chocolate brown eyes and a body to die for. Unlike me; I was thin and short with boring light brown hair, but I guess in my own way I was pretty. I just wasn’t as confident as Flick was.

  “You look amazing,” I said as she gave me a twirl, but before she could reply, there was a soft tap on the door and I instantly glanced down at my watch.

  “Right on time,” I said as I gave Flick a nervous grin.

  “He’s eager,” she giggled as I walked to the door, but before I opened it, she stopped me. “Wait. If things work out tonight, and you end up back here, just leave a sock or something on the door.”

  “We won’t be coming back here,” I laughed giving her a knowing look. “Because nothing is going to happen tonight, I can assure you of that.”

  “Yeah, but…” she shrugged and gave me a wicked grin.

  “But nothing,” I laughed as I turned back to the door and straightened my dress before I reached for the handle.

  “Hi,” I said when I opened the door and saw Danny standing there, looking even more gorgeous than I had remembered. His dark brown hair was still damp from the shower, making it look almost black. His crystal-clear blue eyes were just perfection, as was his beautiful smile. Suddenly I felt more nervous than I had ever felt before.

  “Hi yourself,” he replied, his smile widening as he took in every inch of me. “Wow, you look…wow.”

  “Thank you,” I blushed as I stepped back into the room to let him come in. “I just need to grab my purse.”

  “Hey, Flick,” Danny said when he spotted her standing behind the door. “You look great.”

  “Thanks,” Flick purred as she grabbed her purse too. I smiled to myself wishing that I could have just an ounce of the confidence she had, but I didn’t.

  “I’m ready,” I said as I grabb
ed my purse from the bed and turned to face Danny once more.

  “Then let’s do this,” he replied, giving me another breath-taking smile as he held his hand out to me. I smiled as I crossed the room and took his hand, before he led me out the door, followed by Flick.

  When we reached the party, I wasn’t surprised by how many people were there. The place was packed to the rafters. As we walked in, lots of people greeted Danny, but the whole time he held my hand.

  “I’m going to go mingle,” Flick shouted into my ear as we walked through the front door.

  “Okay,” I shouted back. “But don’t leave without telling me who you’re with first.”

  “Yes, Momma,” Flick laughed, then kissed me on the cheek before she disappeared into the crowd, leaving me alone with Danny.

  “What would you like to drink?” He asked as he turned to face me.

  “A beer is fine,” I replied, giving him a broad smile.

  “There are bottles in the kitchen,” he replied, moving closer to me. “I hid some for us before I left to collect you.”

  “Great,” I replied, having no clue what else to say. Danny just smiled once more before he turned and led me through the crowd to the kitchen, where he grabbed four bottles of beer. Once he had those, he led me out to the back yard, where it was still busy but not as crowded as the house.

  “We can sit in here,” he said as he led me towards a small pool house at the back of the garden.

  Once inside, Danny set the four bottles on the small table, then handed me one before opening one for himself. I smiled as I took the beer, then sat down on the small sofa that was in the room.

  “This place is kind of cool,” I said as I looked around the room. “Like a little man cave.”

  “I guess it is,” he laughed as he walked slowly to the sofa and sat down next to me. I don’t know why, but for some reason he seemed nervous. “You know, I’ve been wanting to ask you out for the longest time.”

  “Really?” I asked, surprised by his comment. Danny Monroe was one of the most popular boys in school. I had no clue what it was he saw in me.

  “Are you kidding me?” He laughed nervously. “You’re the prettiest girl on campus, all the guys think so.”