Inside the Beauty

by Joan Fennell Carringer

  “Yes, Crew loves you,” was all he said.

  “I want to see him.”

  “I know.”

  There was a long silence, before she spoke again. “Tommy?”

  She was the only one who called him by that name. After the last violent attack from his father, when his father had nearly killed both him and his mother, he’d legally had his name changed from Thomas Joseph Everton to Thomas Joseph Callen and started going by Joe. Callen was his mother’s maiden name. Even though his father was in prison at the time, he wanted to take every precaution to keep him from ever finding him or his mother again when he was released. Which, of course, he was. Did the law ever keep the ones who really needed to be there?

  He’d taken her away from Atlanta and moved to Durham. As far as he knew, his father had no contacts there and had never been there in his entire life. He took care of his mother and saw her blossom from a frightened woman to a happy person who laughed almost all the time. It was almost as if she was trying to make up for all the joy she’d missed out on while she was living with his father and being abused.

  He shivered, still unable to stand the thoughts of those terrible days of raging tantrums, drunken fits and knock-down, drag out fights. It was a wonder he’d never killed his father. It wasn’t because he hadn’t wanted to and hadn’t tried. He figured the Lord had kept it from happening. Didn’t the Bible say God didn’t want anyone to perish? Even as evil as his father was, God still kept giving him more chances to change.

  “Tommy!” his mother’s voice grew louder.

  “What, Mom?”

  “Where is Crew? Why doesn’t he come see me?”

  “I’ll see if I can find him, okay?”

  A wide smile crossed her lips. “Okay.”

  As frail as she was, with her weakened heart, accompanied with dementia, he knew he would never tell her the truth. It was best to simply appease her and tell her only what she wanted to hear. She’d been through enough trauma in her life, and the worst was when they’d learned Crew was dead. She never forgave herself for not being able to take care of him and letting someone else have him. Just as Joe couldn’t stand the thoughts that he’d never tried to find his brother again, when he was still living. He could have, but his father was still there, and he knew Crew was better off where he was. By the time he and his mother had actually gotten away from his wrath, it was too late. Crew was gone.

  He needed to stop his thoughts. “I was telling you about the beautiful woman I met in Florida. Her name is Sharris.”

  “Where is she? Is she waiting outside?”

  “She isn’t with me. Mom, the strangest thing happened. I was dumbstruck by her beauty and when she was friendly as well, I figured I’d found the one I was looking for all my life, even though I didn’t know I was even looking.” He chuckled.

  She laughed as if he’d said something very funny, but when she spoke, her words made total sense. “You never find something when you’re looking for it, only when you’re not.”

  “Let me tell you more.”

  She interrupted him. “Is she black?”

  He swallowed, as once again the many memories flooded his mind. The worst was the remembrance of his own words to his brother the last time he’d seen him, when he’d told him he’d never speak to him again if he chose the black family over his own. If it hadn’t been for that black family, Crew may never have lived to be grown. He was the one who took the brunt of their father’s wrath. Him and their mother. Joe could defend himself. They couldn’t, and Joe had to work. He couldn’t always be there with them when Dad was so angry.

  Joe had been devastated that he hadn’t been able to take care of either of them. He was angry, mostly at himself, when Crew had to go live with other people in order to be safe. He didn’t know it at the time, but later on he realized it wouldn’t have mattered what color the people had been. He would have felt just as helpless – and hated them every bit as much as he hated himself.

  Nothing changed for him until he met the Lord, accidentally, of course. Wasn’t that the way it usually happened?

  Once more, his mother’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “So tell her to come in. I want to see her.”

  “I have to tell you the rest of the story first. To be honest, she didn’t seem to care that much for me. She seemed pretty upset that I’d managed to get her phone number and called her, but I kept calling her anyway.”

  “What did you call her? What’s her name?”

  “Her name is Sharris. But this is what’s funny. I went to church with her yesterday morning and her friend Jackie was with her. Now Jackie’s just the opposite of Sharris. She’s short and has really short dark hair and wears big ear rings and bright red lipstick.”

  Mom grinned. “I love red lipstick. Will you buy me some, Tommy?”

  “Sure.” He knew she hated it, that she never wore any lipstick in her life. “Anyway, Jackie wasn’t beautiful like Sharris but she’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen and she talked a mile a minute, and you’re never going to believe this but……”

  “How do you know I won’t believe it if you don’t tell me?”

  He laughed. He was enjoying this visit more than he had in a long time. Mom was so sweet, so happy. She may not understand everything that was going on, but today, at least, it didn’t seem to matter to her.

  “Mom, I really, really like Jackie.”

  “Who’s Jackie?”

  ∞ TWENTY-FOUR ∞

  SHARRIS FROWNED when she looked at the caller ID. She had to tell Joe about Crew, so he’d stop calling.

  “How are you?” His voice was cheerful. “It’s raining here in Durham this Monday afternoon. What’s it like there?”

  “Raining.” Short and sweet.

  “I never had a chance to tell you how much I enjoyed visiting your church. If I lived there, I’d probably join it.”

  “I’ve been going there since I was a little girl.”

  “It’s home to you then, huh? Has Jackie always gone there, too?”

  “Most of the time. When she goes, that is.”

  “Oh?”

  “I’m afraid she finds a lot of other activities that keep her from attending regularly. She’s a Christian. She just isn’t a faithful church goer.”

  “But the Bible tells us not to fail to assemble together. It’s where we get our strength. Maybe I need to have a heart to heart talk with her.”

  She couldn’t help chuckling. “Maybe you do.”

  “I’ll tell you what. If you’ll give me her phone number, I’ll call her.”

  Jackie would be so excited, until she discovered he was only interested in her church life. “Sure.” She rattled off the number.

  “Oh, this is great. Sharris, I need to ask you something.”

  Please don’t ask me out! “And I need to tell you something, Joe.”

  “You go first.”

  “No, you.”

  “Okay. I got the impression that you’re not interested in anything more than friendship with me.”

  “You seem like a nice guy, but I’m in love with someone already. I wanted to tell you but the opportunity just never came up.”

  To her surprise, he laughed. “Well, this can’t be any better then, can it? I’m interested in Jackie. I want to ask her out, but since I met you first, I felt a little awkward.”

  She laughed with him. “I know I shouldn’t say this, but she’s interested in you, too.”

  “So who’s the lucky guy that has your heart?”

  “His name is Crew.”

  There was a sudden silence, before he repeated. “Crew? I’m sorry if I sound surprised. It’s just that it’s kind of an unusual name. I had a brother named Crew. He was killed in a car wreck several years ago, and just hearing that name kind of shook me up.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss. I had a very bad one myself. My parents and my sister were the victims of a terrible explosion in our home. My parents were killed and Marna’s face was s
carred.”

  “So that’s the reason for the scars. I’m sorry, Sharris. How long ago did it happen?”

  “It’s been four years now, going on five.”

  “My brother’s been gone for ten years. He was only seventeen when it happened.” He stopped.

  It was still bothering him. She could understand his feelings because there were times she couldn’t talk about her own tragedy without bursting into tears.

  He finally said, “As long as we’re prepared to meet the Lord, we’ll all see each other again.” Had his brother been ready? How could he know when he hadn’t seen him since he was twelve years old?

  “I know I’ll see Mom and Dad again.”

  “Sharris, I have to go now. It’s been really good talking to you, and I’m so glad you bumped into me at Disney. I may have never met Jackie otherwise.” He chuckled.

  When she hung up, she almost counted the minutes, waiting for Jackie to call. Five minutes went by, then ten and then a half hour. What was taking her so long? Maybe he hadn’t been able to get her. It was a work day and she might not have been able to pick up.

  As soon as she went back to the ad she had been working on, the telephone rang.

  “Sharris! You did it! You gave him my number and he is coming in again this week end and we’re going out!”

  Sharris laughed, excited for her friend. They talked for a little while – rather Jackie talked and she listened – until she insisted she had to get back to work or she was not going to meet her deadline.

  The phone rang again immediately. Could it be Crew? Oh, please let it be Crew! She hadn’t talked to him since Sunday morning and she missed the sound of his voice.

  It was a telemarketer. She was so disappointed she wanted to cry.

  Why hadn’t he called? Surely he wasn’t too busy to take a few minutes to call and say hi. Of course, their calls were never that short. Maybe that was it. He knew he didn’t have time to say all the things that were on his mind, so he was waiting until he did. She smiled. That had to be it.

  Just the same, if she didn’t hear from him by tomorrow, she was calling him.

  He didn’t call and she did. Whether he was busy or distracted, it was hard to tell, but he told her he didn’t have time to talk and probably wouldn’t be able to get back with her for a while.

  She sat on the edge of her bed, holding her phone in her hand. He didn’t sound right. Something was bothering him.

  “He told me he didn’t want a commitment. Maybe I’m coming on too strong and it’s scaring him. Maybe I need to be patient, wait til he’s home again, and then tell him what’s on my mind.”

  Just the same, she couldn’t keep from asking Judy if she’d talked to him lately.

  “Oh, he calls me every day,” she answered. “Usually, all he does is tell me he’s checking to be sure I’m okay and we hang up. He’s so thoughtful. I couldn’t love him more if he were my own flesh and blood.”

  Sharris didn’t say anymore.

  The week passed with no calls. Now, she was really becoming concerned. Why didn’t he call?

  After Judy left Saturday to do some shopping, the doorbell rang. Her heart started racing. Had he decided to come home and surprise her? She opened the door with wide-eyed anticipation.

  There stood Jackie and Joe.

  “We’re headed off to some flea markets in Georgia,” Jackie said, beaming. “Joe wanted to stop by and say hi.”

  She smiled. “I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”

  They talked for a few minutes and were gone again.

  “I can’t stand this,” Sharris said to herself. “He hasn’t called and Judy doesn’t even know when he’ll be home again. Have I done something to make him mad at me?”

  There was no answer to the question of her mind.

  ▬ ▬ ▬

  “I ABSOLUTELY don’t believe this!” The man sitting in the black SUV parked across the road from the end of the driveway was a gasp in his surprise. He watched the steel gray truck drive past him, clearly seeing the face of the driver. He would never have believed he could have such luck. First he’d found Crew, and now Tom!

  Todd Everton, their father, laughed aloud, just before he took a big swig from a small whiskey flask he kept in his pocket. He had everything backward from the very beginning. All he planned to do was get rid of that black woman who had taken his son all those years ago. He’d been looking for her ever since she’d left Atlanta. After hearing that her husband had died, he figured she’d be easy prey but for some reason he couldn’t find her. He never thought one time that she would’ve moved to such a little dinky place as this. He didn’t even know they allowed blacks here.

  He could have fallen over from his surprise when he’d seen Crew with the girl at the pool. All he was doing then was passing through the area. He had a score to settle with that boy, too. Imagine his choosing to live with black people instead of at home! It had just about killed his mother. He decided the best way to get even with him was to hurt his little blonde girlfriend. He’d almost forgotten about the hatred he still bore for the black woman, until the blonde had led him straight to her.

  Had Crew and Tom seen each other? Would they be able to figure out that he had to be the one that had gotten their aunt, his sister, to give them the sad news that they were all dead? She’d called Crew to tell him about his mother and brother. He snickered. As well as him. Not long afterward, she’d called Elaina and Tom to tell them Crew had been killed. Oh, she’d done it so well! As he listened to every word, her fake heartbreak almost brought him to tears.

  It had to be done. It was his security. If they all thought the others were dead, they’d never look for each other. Crew left on his own, completely disgracing him, and he wanted to be sure he never got to be with his mother and brother again. There’d be no chance of a reconciliation or for them to find out that he’d been behind it all. Could he be put in prison for such a thing? He’d been there a couple times and had no desire to go back.

  Now he was in a pickle. Even if he got rid of the black woman, his two sons would get together – and sooner, rather than later. They both seemed to have a real interest in the women that either lived in or visited this house.

  He was going to have to get rid of them all.

  He immediately had second thoughts. Tom had hidden his mother someplace and the minute he found out Crew was still alive, he’d take him to her. All he had to do was follow them and he’d have them all in the palm of his hand. He’d make them sorry for what they’d done to him. He had a high-powered rifle that would take care of both the boys and their shriveling, cowardly mother.

  The only one he had to get rid of here was the black woman. He’d let the boys’ girlfriends alone. They’d get their recompense by mourning later on.

  ∞ TWENTY-FIVE ∞

  HOW COULD SHE get Crew’s attention again? As the days passed, and another weekend began, Sharris couldn’t understand why he didn’t call or why he was so evasive when she called him. She knew in her heart that he cared for her as much as she did him. She’d felt it when they were together. She’d seen it in his eyes when he looked at her, and heard it in his voice. What had happened? When she reminded herself of the times they’d talked about both of their determination to remain single, she wondered if she was the only one who had changed her mind about it. Maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he realized he was getting too close to her and was avoiding her in the hope that his feelings would change.

  Why did she have to fall in love when she’d been so adamant about not letting it happen? Worst of all, why did it have to be with someone who was just as stubborn, or more so, than she was about refusing to admit he loved her, too?

  She always thought it was marriage that would create too much heartache. She hadn’t considered that marriage had nothing to do with it. It was love itself. Marriage could be avoided but love simply happened, whether a person wanted it to or not. And right now, her heart was hurting in a most uncomfortable way. The worst thing
was, she didn’t want to get over it. All she wanted was to keep loving Crew and have him love her back.

  And that’s exactly what she was going to do! Even as her eyes lit up at the thought, at the same time she winced. But how?

  ▬ ▬ ▬

  “WHY WAS I SO QUICK TO BELIEVE RUMORS?”

  Crew’s mind rattled on a mile a minute as he drove toward North Carolina. When his brother had told him all the things he’d heard about Sharris and another man, he hadn’t doubted for a minute they were true. She was so beautiful, no man would be exempt from wanting her. He couldn’t imagine one single reason why she’d choose him, so he’d automatically assumed she’d grown tired of him and was looking for someone else. After all, hadn’t they both insisted neither one of them wanted a commitment?

  He sighed. There was still the possibility she hadn’t changed her mind about that, but he was going to do everything in his power to try to make it happen.

  He recalled the talk he’d had with Judy the night before. He’d finally gotten the nerve to tell her what he’d heard and ask her if Sharris was seeing anyone else. She lived with her. If anyone knew the truth, she would, and he knew she’d never try to cover it up with lies. In his entire life, Judy had never lied to him about anything.

  She told him about Joe Callen, how they’d met and how the man had pursued Sharris, to Sharris’ distain – and then fallen head over heels for Jackie. She had never met Joe, but Sharris had told her about him. Sharris had also told her that she was in love with Crew.

  His eyes lit up as he slowed down to stop at a red light. She loved him. She’d told his mother that she loved him. Again, he sighed, hoping his distrust of her wouldn’t hinder that love. Love and trust went together and he’d immediately believed everything Jess had told him. Not only that, he’d let it fester in his imagination without even asking her about it.

  No more. He was going to knock on her door and tell her everything and beg her to forgive him for his lack of trust. If she didn’t want anything to do with him, he wouldn’t believe it without hearing it from her own lips.