Caught Me Dreaming

by Sophia Jenkins

  Fuck him, man! He did her a favor.

  Next day, I get on up and get ready for work. I check my phone to see if Neeci texted me, but she didn’t. I start to text her, but I don’t wanna seem desperate, and I don’t know what to say. I just say fuck it and head to the bus. I get on and part of me is looking for her. I don’t know why, I just do.

  It’s kinda light this morning on here, so I find a seat near the window and sit down. I’m riding in peace and then some chick comes and plops down next to me. She’s actually fine. Nice lil’ redbone with some nice eyes. I start talking to her, and she seems cool as hell. She gives me her number before she gets off.

  Her name is Michelle. I might have to get back up with her.

  I get to work and the shit is crazy. It’s Homecoming week, so the shit is lit! Orders out the ass. I get so caught up in the shit that the day flies by like crazy. I barely come up for air until I feel my phone going off. I look down and see it’s Neeci. I’m about due for a break anyway, so I go outside to see what’s up. I pick up and all I hear is some heavy breathing.

  “Hello? Neeci?”

  “Sha’quan…”

  “Yeah, what’s up? What’s goin’ on?”

  “I…I…”

  “Hey, what’s wrong? Why you sound like that?”

  “I was just robbed!”

  “Oh fuck! For real?”

  “Yeah, some crackhead just came and stole my guitar. He threatened me with a knife, so I gave it to him. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Shit, Neeci! I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “What am I gonna do now? How am I supposed to play tonight? I’m fucked! I gotta play tonight, so I can get this deal.”

  “Aye yo, calm down. Where you at?”

  “I was on the bus when I got robbed. The crackhead ran off after he robbed me. People were just lookin’, they ain’t do shit. I was so freaked out, I just got off the bus.”

  “Where you at now?”

  “I’m like two stops away from the Coffee Cat, but I can’t come up in there without a guitar. I’m standin’ by this shop that has some guitars, but it ain’t no use. I can’t afford a new one. I gotta figure something out. I don’t even know why I called you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Shit!”

  I stop and think for a minute. I can’t even imagine what Neeci must be feeling right now. First, she loses her job. Now this. Shit is so fucked up. I know she is hanging all her hopes on this performance tonight. She needs her guitar. I mean she might be able to get it either way, but that’s what she does. I find myself pacing in front of the club. I look over at the bus stop and get an idea. I think about the money I’ve been saving to start my restaurant. I ain’t got enough for no place yet, but I’m sure I got enough for a guitar. I think real hard, but I don’t wanna leave Neeci hanging for too long. I know she’s gonna make it, but man, this is a big deal. I worked hard for that money. But I said I got her.

  “Hey, go on in. I’ll meet you there.”

  Chapter Seven

  I don’t know why, outta all the people in my phone, I decided to call Sha’quan. Maybe because I knew he was closest to me. Or maybe because he makes me feel safe. Either way, I called him. He just says he’s coming to meet me. It does make me feel a lil’ better. I have had the world’s two shittiest days. First, I get fired, then I get robbed. I had finally made myself feel better last night by channeling it into my music, but here we go again.

  I’m trying real hard not to panic, but I feel like throwing my hands up and asking God why. I feel like I’m being punished for something, but I don’t know what. Maybe it’s just a sign that I need to get my shit together. I’m looking at these guitars, and I’m tryna come up with any possible way I could come up with the money for it. I could possibly ask my mama, but even if she could give it to me, I would definitely have to pay her back. Right now, I don’t know how I would do that.

  I could call up my ol’ dude Eric, but that would mean I would have to start dealing with him again, and that’s just not worth it. It’s hopeless.

  I just stop and say a prayer, “God, if you’ll just help me get this guitar, I’ll know that it’s meant for me to do music. Otherwise, I’ll give it up and just find myself a job and move on.”

  Even as I say this prayer, I know it’s probably impossible.

  I keep wandering around the store, looking at guitars I cannot afford. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I almost jump out of my skin. I turn around and see Sha’quan standing there. He has his hands up like he meant no harm, and I realize that I’m still a bit rattled. He comes forward and gives me a hug. It’s just what I needed. A nice, strong, tight hug. I hang onto him.

  “Hey Neeci,” he says, once he pulls away from me. “I’m sorry about everything. Are you okay?”

  “I’ll try to be. For now, I’m worried about this performance.”

  “Yeah, I know. Did you look at the guitars?”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “You find one you like?”

  “Yeah, there are some really nice ones in here, but I can’t afford any of them.”

  “I’ll take care of it, just tell me what you were looking at.”

  “Wait, maybe they have a payment plan. Why didn’t I think of that?”

  I walk over to the counter and flag down the man behind it. “Um, excuse me, I was looking at your guitars, and I was wondering if you do payment plans here.”

  “Why sure, little lady,” he replies. “We have a few easy installment payment plans. If you look at this paper, you will see your options. Please excuse me while I help this gentleman, and I will be back with you in a moment.”

  He walks away to help the other customers, and I take a look at the payment plans. At a glance, they seemed like a decent deal until I looked at the interest and how long it will take to pay everything back. I really have to think about this, but I don’t see what choice I have.

  As I stand there thinking, I completely forget Sha’quan is there until he says, “So what you thinkin’?”

  “I’m thinkin’ I really don’t have any choices here. I have to get this guitar.”

  He looks over my shoulder at the paper. “These plans look like some bullshit though.”

  “They do, but it’s better than nothin’.”

  “Look, Neeci, I’ll just get it for you.”

  I musta heard him wrong. “What?”

  “I’ll just get the guitar for you. Then you don’t have to worry about it. It’ll be paid for.”

  “I’m not lettin’ you buy me a guitar. That’s not what I called you for.”

  “I know, but it’s okay. I got some money I’ve been savin’ and I’ll just use that.”

  “Sha’quan—”

  “Just let me do this for you, alright. Just let me do it. You’ll get me back later.”

  “I have no way of payin’ you back right now.”

  “You’ll get me back later. You got like an hour and a half ‘til your performance. We gotta get the guitar and get you to the club. We’ll talk about it later. Just get it.”

  I stand there thinking for a minute. Sha’quan has done some pretty good things for me over the last week or so, but this is over the top. There’s no way I can take this from him. I know I didn’t ask, but still…I can’t believe he would even offer. I don’t even know what we are right now. Whatever it is, it’s not enough for him to buy me a guitar. I’m just completely stumped. I asked God to send me a way, and it seems that He has, but I don’t know if I can really take it?

  This is all so wild.

  He’s right though, I am running out of time, and I have to make a decision.

  As I hesitate a moment longer, Sha’quan says, “Neeci, just get the guitar. Come on.”

  I just go with my gut and pick one, telling myself that I’ll be able to pay him back later, with interest. For now, I gotta get this guitar.

  I pick out a good one and get it. I try to get the least expensive one, but it’s s
till a nice chunk of change. Sha’quan takes out his debit card and swipes it. I just look at him. I cannot believe what he is doing. He has amazed me in so many ways, and I cannot even begin to thank him for this.

  He doesn’t really give me a chance. Instead, he picks up the guitar and steers me out of the shop, to the bus stop. We wait a few minutes before it comes, and then we get on. I look at my watch and see that it’s a lil’ over an hour until the show.

  We’re gonna make it.

  I let out a sigh of relief. I can’t even say nothing to Sha’quan right now. In fact, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say.

  It takes us a lil’ over ten minutes to make it to the club. We go in, and Sha’quan heads back to the kitchen. I go to find Nikki to let her know I made it. I find her towards the back and she looks relieved to see me. I apologize for cutting it close, then I go to tune up this new guitar. It’ll feel weird not playing my old one—especially since I saved up my whole senior year of high school to get that guitar. I didn’t really have it, but my mama made up the difference as a graduation present.

  Speaking of my mama, I just remembered that she was supposed to be coming tonight with Shawna, Mocha, and a few others. I peek out to see if they’re out there, and sure enough, they got a table a bit off to the side.

  My mama spots me and waves. I wave at them all, then I look around and spot a very important-looking man on his phone. That must be the owner of the record label. I get some butterflies in the pit of my stomach, but I shake it off.

  It’s time to make magic happen.

  I go out on stage and give it my all. I perform two of the songs I wrote the day before, along with one old one, as well as “Visions” by Stevie Wonder and “That’s Why You’re Beautiful” by Beyoncé. The crowd is with me every moment, and it’s even better than the first time. Of course my people go crazy, but they aren’t the only ones. I see Sha’quan poke his head out a few times too, and I decide that I’ll sing a lil’ bit harder for him.

  Before I know it, the show is over. I get to my feet and take a bow, as the crowd loses their minds. I can barely make it off the stage without security’s help.

  My mama, Shawna, and Mocha break through and give me one huge hug. As I stand there talking to them, the important looking man comes over and taps my arm.

  “I’d like to speak to you for a minute outside. I’m with Richman Music Group,” he says.

  I follow him out front on weak knees, feeling like this might be it, the moment I’ve been waiting for.

  As we come to a stop, he puts his hand out and says, “Hello, Neeci. I am Terrence Richman from Richman Music Group. Travis told me about you.”

  “Yes, I remember,” I say. “Thank you for coming out. I hope you enjoyed the show.”

  “I did. You have a very lovely voice. I think you have a lot of potential. I don’t think you’re quite ready for a full deal yet, but I would love for you to come on with us and do some covers, maybe open up for some of our bigger acts.”

  That wasn’t really what I was expecting, and I know I should be grateful, but I feel kinda disappointed. My emotion comes out my mouth as, “Oh…”

  Mr. Richman apparently notices my sudden loss of enthusiasm because he continues, “It may not sound like much, but it’s a start. It puts you in business with us and puts some money in your pocket. It can offer you some exposure. If you work hard and we really see some development in you, down the line we could be looking at a real deal.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Richman. I appreciate it.”

  “Here’s my card. Give us a call, and we can get started. You look beautiful tonight. If you’ll excuse me, I have another engagement. Hope to hear from you soon.”

  “Yes. Goodbye, Mr. Richman.”

  I stand there and watch him walk away. I’m still more than a lil’ disappointed. I mean, it wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t the big break that I was hoping for. I guess I should be grateful. I mean, it is a step in the right direction, but I feel like it’s a small step. I guess it’s better than nothing though. Even with what he’s offering, it doesn’t look like Imma be able to pay Sha’quan back any time soon.

  What am I even s’posed to tell my people? That I got a sorta kinda deal that’s not really a deal, but it could be in the future? Shit, I don’t know.

  As I’m standing there, still in a bit of a daze, Sha’quan comes out to meet me. I guess he saw me walk off with the dude and waited to come out and see what happened. He looks so excited, but I feel so bad. He stops short when he sees the expression on my face.

  “What happened?” he asks.

  “He offered me a chance to do some covers, and maybe open for some of his acts.”

  “That’s good though, right?”

  “It’s not a deal. It’s a maybe someday.”

  “Oh…”

  He turns away, trying not to show me how disappointed he is. I’m sure he was relying on that deal as much as I was. I don’t know how much money he has, but I’m sure he over-spent tonight. I feel so bad.

  “Well, I gotta get back in and finish up before the kitchen closes,” he says. “Will you wait for me to get off?”

  “Yeah, I’ll wait around for you.”

  “Cool.”

  He goes back inside, and I stand there for a few moments longer to try and wipe the disappointment off of my face before I go see my mama and all them. I try to pull my shoulders back up and pretend I’m cool.

  I go back inside, and as I walk in, I greet a few people who say that I did a great job. I smile and thank them.

  Another group of people say they were there Tuesday too, and they came back to see me. That makes me feel better.

  I make my way over to my mama and all them. I barely walk up before Shawna says, “What happened, girl? We finally gonna get paid or what?”

  My mama says, “Shawna! Girl, leave her alone. Let her tell us what she wanna tell us.”

  I laugh it off. “It’s okay, Mama. Well, he did offer me an opportunity to do some covers and possibly open up for some of his acts.”

  “Oh yeah? That’s something.”

  Mocha chimes in, “Yeah, cuz, they keep hearing you sing and they’re gonna have to sign you. A lot of people blow up off of covers. You might end up on Ellen or something.”

  I laugh at them.

  Maybe they’re right. It might not be so bad after all, I think.

  They offer to go out somewhere else to celebrate, but I tell them I’ll have to get up with them later.

  “Let’s go out to dinner tomorrow night. I promise,” I say.

  “Ok. Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”

  “I’m cool,” I say, and they go.

  I get together my guitar and prepare to wait for Sha’quan, but I don’t have to wait long. He comes out of the kitchen and nods towards the door. I tell Nikki and Jermaine good night, and then we go.

  We get on the bus, get to his stop, and get off without saying a word. We walk to his building in silence. He checks his mail, and we go on up. When we get into his place, I go over and sit down on the couch, and he looks over the mail. I just sit there, kinda awkward, not knowing what to say or do. After a few minutes, he comes over and sits down on the couch beside me. Before I can say anything, he leans over and kisses me passionately. I return the kiss with the same intensity. He pulls me onto his lap, and I straddle him. Before long, my dress is off over my head.

  We both start tugging at his clothes at the same time. I pull off his shirt, and he unbuckles his pants.

  I stop him for a minute and say, “Don’t forget yo condom.”

  He pulls one out of his wallet and puts it on. No sooner than it is in place than I lift myself up and carefully place myself back down on top of him, with him inside of me. I take a moment to adjust before beginning to rock. That slow shit goes out the window quick, as he grabs me and starts thrusting up to meet me. I grab the back of the couch for balance cuz he catches me off guard. It doesn’t take either of us long to overheat, and we
come to a breathless stop.

  I lay my head on his chest, sitting in silence for a while, then I get off of him and go to the bathroom. When I come back, he’s still sitting on the couch, so I sit down next to him. He turns to face me, and I can tell he has something he wants to say.

  “Look Neeci,” he says. “I know this whole thing between us has been crazy, but I really hope you don’t feel like you owe me nothin’. It was my decision to get you that guitar.”

  “What were you savin’ that money for?”

  “My restaurant.”

  “Damn, Sha’quan!”

  “It wasn’t enough for one no way.”

  “That’s not the point. That’s your dream.”

  “And this is yours. I believe in you, Neeci. I know you gonna make it, but that’s not even why I did it. I wanted to support you and make sure you have everything you needed. I ain’t want you to be out here fucked up over no guitar.”

  “But that was my problem. It’s not like you’re my man or nothin’, right?”

  “I mean, I don’t know. The titles and shit is something different. I think there’s something here though. Something real.”

  “So what does that mean?”

  “What you want it to mean?”

  “I don’t know, Sha’quan. A lot has happened in the last week. I don’t really know how anything is gonna go from now on. Am I gonna be able to afford my place? I just don’t know.”

  “What if I told you I got you?”

  “Why, though?”

  “Because I care for you.”

  “You care about me that much?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I don’t know about love or nothin’ like that, but I really do care for you, and I want to make sure you aight.”

  “But what about you and your dreams? Your restaurant? You gotta make sure that happens.”