Adventure Pack One Free RPG Adventures

by David Dostaler

  Chapter Two: Secret Agent Caper

  You were so successful on your last mission that it isn’t long before the Duke summons you once more. “I know this isn’t quite what you’re capable of, but there’s been something disturbing found in the basement of the Pub of the Three Dragons. The innkeep, Harold, would be much obliged if you can check it out and make sure it’s safe. Thanks. Oh, yes, I almost forgot: the last ten guys who went down there didn’t come back, ha ha.”

  Once again the Duke is willing to pay the PCs, this time 400 gold pieces each if they can bring back the ten lost men or their bodies. He doesn’t see any reason to pay them in advance this time, but if they press the fact he’s willing to lower their reward and pay up to half to them up front.

  The Pub of the Three Dragons

  Harold is a midget monkey sorcerer who hoots at you and waves his magic wand. He can now speak your language and it’s clear he’s none-too-happy. “What the HOOT! There’s some HOOTING HOOT HOOT in my basement driving away all my HOOTING customers. If you can get rid of the HOOT HOOT thing then I’ll give you free beers for life.”

  Anyone who tries to steal his wand makes a mad monkey as enemy for life but gains a wand of speak all languages. He has no other good treasure but he does have a wizard hat with stars on it. He can show the PCs to the basement but nobody in the village of Goran is willing to go down inside with them.

  If the PCs enter and explore they find a lot of beer in barrels and bottles and several footprints through the dust where the other men went. There’s no sign of anything else weird until they find the portal hidden behind a shelf at the back wall.

  In the back left hand corner of the room, concealed behind a shelf you see a blue swirling disk of energy. It seems to gaze hungrily at you and you find yourselves irresistibly drawn toward it. Fangs sprout along the edges and a demonic voice boasts, “Ha ha ha, more food for my energy maw, prepare to die, witless mortals.”

  As soon as anyone tries to ‘take it out’ the voice laughs more loudly:

  “You think you’re puny weapons are enough to stop, Akklkssioosine the beast lord? Think again, piddly bipeds!”

  When the PCs come up with something brilliant or deal at least 20 damage to the thing the portal screams in outrage and dies. Hacking off the teeth may be another idea. Every round the portal attempts to suck in at least one PC (all others held by gravity well, no teleportation or magic can escape). RR 15 strength or similar to evade being sucked in.

  If the PCs manage to kill Akklkssioosine the Beast Lord they gain 3,000 xp but regardless in the explosion of his death they are sucked in to the other side.

  The Other Side

  When all PCs are on the far side you can describe their predicament to them.

  You appear to have landed in an underground chamber, possibly in an alternate dimension. The rock is gray and of a type you’ve never seen before. Your companions also look very strange. They are all wearing black and white suits, dark glasses, and carrying various metal rods and strange devices you’ve never seen before.

  The PCs have landed themselves into an alternate dimension set somewhere around the 1950’s in which they’ve been transformed into secret agents working for the Queen of Scotland.

  A wall slides aside and as you back away and try to draw your regular weapons a short man wearing a scientific suit approaches you and smiles as he waves. It appears as if he knows you. “Welcome double-o 1, 2, 3…(etc.) You’ve arrived far ahead of schedule, well done! It appears the Soviet States of Arabia are planning a Nuclear bombardment of Taiwan, our greatest ally. As members of the secret service of her majesty “Bolf” the Queen of Scotland, you must help protect the world.”

  If anyone freaks out or otherwise acts strange the man just gives them a weird look and continues on:

  “Yes, I realize you need to practice your “Persona” but really (insert code name of PC). We don’t have time for this now. The Soviet Arabian Democratic Government has found something called ‘project x’ which is hidden somewhere in the capital city of Egypt. You must go and find it, it could mean the world. Our only lead is a woman in Portugal named “Sexy Beast” you must find Sexy Beast and convince her to help us.” The man coughs into his hand and smirks. “I know it won’t be any trouble for you, your cars and gear are already packed on the jet.”

  Several men with machine guns escort the PCs to their jet which, indeed, is crammed with sweet cars and gear boasting the latest in weird spy technology. All the classics should be there along with anything the PCs want and seems reasonable to you. Some ideas are: radar, heat seeking missiles, machine guns, invisible cars, nitro, seat ejectors. Tracking devices in shoes, laser pens, paper clips which are actually massive bombs, and so forth. There should also be at least one car that can turn into a submersible sub.

  The Flight to Portugal

  As the PCs are taking flight a young woman brings them refreshments and asks how many times they want their martinis shaken and stirred and how many ice cubes they want in them.

  This young woman can teach them to use all their gear and weapons, train them about the history of the Soviet Arabians, and pretty much whatever else they’d like.

  As soon as they’re flying out over the ocean at about 20,000 feet the doors to the pilots swing open and a Russian woman in nothing but her skimpy dress with rhinestones steps out holding a gun.

  “Prepare to get blown away by my beauty, agents one, two, three, (etc.)”

  Russian Agent Polovo HP 15 (1d6 damage bullets, she wears a bullet proof dress). RR 20 (kung fu dodge) Damage 3d6 (subduing karate kick or sleep darts). Gold: none, dress bullet proof, comm link to Arabia, purse with explosives. XP: 1,000 Special: Instead of dealing damage she can kick the gun out of any PCs hands.

  If anyone shoots at her and misses the cabin de-pressurizes and the plane goes into a death roll, everyone loses their weapons and must grab parachutes to escape. Of course, there aren’t enough so someone is going to have to grab the waitress, pilots, and the Russian Agent.

  If the PCs are smart enough to use Kung fu and similar they quickly find Polovo is a master but if they try their seduction skills on her she is easy prey and quickly betrays her country. She also tells them that “Sexy Beast” is a trap in Portugal. Apart from this she knows nothing and thinks they should probably still go.

  The Ocean

  If the PCs somehow land in the ocean at least one of the cars is a submersible sub which they can use to quickly reach Portugal with the help of at least one navigator who knows what he or she is doing. They probably run into at least half a dozen sea monsters and Arabian Soviet Democratic subs, but those challenges are left up to you.

  The Trap in Portugal

  The address leads the PCs to a one time meeting at a night club where everyone is dancing and speaking in Portuguese. Of course, they all known English as well if anyone cares to talk to them.

  The PCs now have another opportunity to order their favourite drinks and try to hunt down the proprietor who is the only one who knows who Sexy Beast is and where she can be found.

  To find the proprietor at least 3 waitresses must be seduced. It appears he’s ‘in the back’.

  When they find the proprietor he tells them they must play him a 20 million dollar game of cards to find the woman. If they pull a gun he tells them anyway. It is RR 15 to beat him at cards.

  Sexy Beast is apparently ‘further in the back’. When the PCs pass about 50 thugs with machine guns HP 1 Damage 2d6 RR 15 Movement: 3 XP: 50 they find a pool in the back surrounded by frigid ice sculptures which large vents of liquid nitrogen constantly shoot up into.

  She’s wearing a bathing suit and sitting in the water. After the PCs give their opening lines she responds:

  “That is what you think, Mr. (and Ms.?) double-o 1, 2, 3 (etc.)” She snaps her fingers and twenty men with machine guns rise up out of the pool.

  The PCs can attack in which case a horrendous firefight breaks out. Men: RR 16 Damage 2d6 machine gu
n bullets HP 1 Movement: 2 (scuba suits) XP: 100 each Gold: none.

  Sexy Beast RR 17 Damage 1d6 (bite) HP 1 Movement: 3 XP: 100, 1,000 if seduced. Gold: 0

  Putting the liquid nitrogen into the pool kills everybody. If Sexy Beast and her men win they tie the PCs to the ice sculptures with a slowly rotating liquid nitrogen nozzle spraying toward them and leave.

  If the PCs win and capture (or win over) Sexy Beast she reveals the location of the secret base in Egypt containing project x but she can’t say what it is either.

  If the PCs win but kill everyone they can find the address of secret x tattooed to Sexy Beast’s back (or the lining in her bra or whatever) for no good reason.

  Obligatory Race Car Scene

  Outside the club as you’re driving for the plane (or nearest airport/sub if it’s destroyed) you see two black vehicles in your mirror.

  If any of the PCs fancy cars survived they may now use all of their nifty doo-dads and the craziest driving they can think of. Be sure to include plenty of enemy cars shooting harmless machine gun bullets at them, bridges to jump the cars over, and opportunities for mad stunts (which nearly always succeed).

  Once the PCs have the drive-like-a-madman thing totally out of their systems they can reach the airport/plane or whatever and head out to Egypt. If they still don’t know where it is they’re supposed to be headed you can always have some allied agent get shot by an assassin with a silencer and hand them over a note in his dead hands.

  Egypt

  You land in the capital city of Soviet Arabia which is, of course, Egypt. There are many camels, pyramids, and men with French wigs around, but otherwise the place seems just like New York.

  When the PCs leave their plane/submarine or whatever and start to make their way towards the address they’ve found about a million ninjas jump out of nowhere and attack them. They could surrender, but where’s the fun in that? None of the ninjas will use any weapons other than their fists because they want to capture the PCs.

  There are 1,000 ninjas.

  Ninja HP 1 Damage 1d6 RR 14 Movement: 4 Gold: 0 (ninja sword, blow gun with sleep darts, etc.) XP: 100 each.

  When all the PCs have been captured or escaped, or defeated all the 1,000 ninjas (should be max 1,000 xp for doing so) Marilyn Monroe or some equally famous woman comes up to them and flirts with them for a while after which point she either beats them up and takes them to the secret base, or falls in love with them and leads them to the secret base.

  On the way there, should the PCs wish, they can use any plan they want to escape and find the place on their own terms.

  The Secret Base

  You enter a deserted parking lot, but before you can do anything else a huge Eiffel tower splits the ground apart and rises high into the sky. People nearby scream and you see a miniature Statue of Liberty sprout out the top holding a laser cannon which points vaguely in the direction of the UN. A large speaker blares out over those assembled, “Today democracy will rein over the world! No more will the communist states of America hold sway, no longer will the British Empire control 75% of the world. Freedom at last!”

  As the laser starts firing at satellites to bounce back and hit various parts of the world, the PCs as secret agents can spring into action or not, depending on their preference. Anyone smart may roll an RR 10 check to determine these people would not have the power necessary to shoot a laser of this size and it must be powered by magic, possibly a portal back to their home-world.

  Within the building there are a load of flunkies and aimless guards who can be snuck past or fought as the PCs wish. Flunky HP 1 RR 10 Damage 1d6 Movement: 3 Gold: 0 (gun) XP: 10.

  The PCs can see a shimmering blue portal at the top of the inside of the Eiffel tower. It looks just like the one that brought them here. They have two basic choices now: they can use the elevator, or they can climb the metal supports (no stairs). RR 15 to reach the top.

  The elevators are wired with explosives (RR 16 to spot or disable) and about halfway up the speaker voice says:

  “Ha ha ha, not so fast agents 1, 2, 3, (etc.) Freedom will not be stopped so easily…”

  At this point the PC(s) should automatically detect the explosives and are allowed 1 or two rounds to do something about it (or bust their way out to safety).

  The Portal at the Top of the Eiffel Tower

  Beside the portal holding a control box is a patriotic Frenchman wearing a wig and a crazed expression and a helpless girl tied firmly to a support strut. She’s blonde and wears a revealing white dress. Behind her, on the other side of the metal support a bare-chested and muscular man is also tied up, crying out feebly for help. He’s wearing a Speedo.

  Breaking the ropes requires RR 17 strength, a weapon, or RR 15 use rope. The Patriot is RR 15 HP 1 Damage 1d6 (gun) Movement: 3 Gold: 0 XP: 500 Special: Before he dies he’ll hit the self destruct button on the Eiffel Tower control switch box by accident and curse. The PCs have a very short time to escape.

  As all of this is going on you see about 50 jets flying in toward your tower, guns blazing, apparently the Communists don’t take kindly to people trying to force democracy on them with giant, magically powered, lasers.

  As everything blows up on all sides, guns blazing, self destruct going or the patriot firing lasers back at the attacking planes (women and guy screaming the background) a giant hairy monkey leaps off of a concealed platform in the top of the tower and hoots menacingly, beating his chest. Apparently, it’s King Kong making his debut movie by smushing the PCs into jell-o and throwing them off the precipitous tower.

  King Kong HP 15 RR 16 Damage 2d6 Movement: 5 Climb +15 Hoots loudly and swats airplanes in his free time. Gold: 0 XP: 5,000

  Giving him the girl will pacify him as he hoots and lumbers off with her.

  Anyone who jumps in the portal disappears. You should play up the drama for all it’s worth and impose your own challenges for evading gun fire, escaping a giant enraged monkey, and climbing around the precarious tower to pull of stunts. When everyone’s done fighting and blowing up stuff the patriot (if alive) or someone else (if he’s dead) informs the PCs that the laser is damaged beyond repair through the firefight, if they want to leave they’ll have to leave now.

  Allow the PCs time to say their goodbyes, safely escort prisoners, gather loot, or whatever, after which they should head home. If they want to stay the portal blows up in their faces and snatches them through (or you could design a modern campaign, but that’s up to you).

  Home sweet Home

  You find yourself back in the basement of the Inn of the Three Dragons. There is no portal in sight and you’ve no idea how much time may have passed. You’re disappointed to find you’re wearing your old clothes and you have none of the sweet gear and loot you’d picked up on the other side. However, there’s someone here you didn’t expect, wearing a leather jerkin which makes her/him look really weird.

  Whoever was the most interesting character the PCs brought with them to the final battle appears with them dressed in leathers that suit the time and without any of their usual fancy equipment. This NPC will need help learning the ropes of the new world or getting back to his/her old one. This NPC is also carrying the ten previous men sent through the portal in his or her pocket. Weird magical vortexes deposited them there out of limbo and any wizard can tell that they will gradually return to normal size.

  The Story

  The Duke gladly pays the PCs their 400 gold pieces each and eagerly asks about their quest. He doesn’t believe them if they tell the truth, and neither will anyone else except for the monkey innkeeper Harold who believes every word (and will probably fall in love with any female the PCs brought back from their mission).

  Each PC should be awarded 3,000 bonus xp for successfully completing this adventure and they find the submersible car outside the inn waiting for them. It will soon run out of gas and weapons, and no one has any clue how to repair or fuel it, but for a time it may be fun anyway. Its weapons deal 1d6 damage on a hit and add
+2 to attack because of superior accuracy. The car will wear out faster if not used on dry roads and level ground.