by JM Butcher
I nod.
“The Girl with No Thoughts.”
“What?” I ask.
“I hear about you on the secret channel.” Dade finally releases my hand. “You were like the youngest Unfavorable ever. And you finally got rescued.” He smiles. “Like me.”
“Secret channel?”
“All right, buddy,” Billy says. “Let’s get you some new clothes and some food.” He puts his hand on Dade’s shoulder. “Hey, Maggie. I’m glad you were here.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Me too.”
“Bye, Maggie,” Dade says and walks off with Billy. “I hope to see you soon.”
I smile and wipe a tear from my cheek. I take a deep breath. What secret channel? A rebel channel? I see that Makayla and Gia are next to me, so I let it go.
“Come on, hotshot,” Gia says.
“Where to?” I ask.
“To Johnny,” Makayla says. “You coming?”
For the first time since I’ve been here, I’ve felt okay. I even stopped worrying about my family and friends. I was in the moment—with the rebels. With Hayden, who saved a boy who looked like he’d been living on the streets. The comfort I felt, believing Dade might be safe here, is such a foreign feeling. A nice feeling.
“Yes,” I say. “I’m coming.”
***
I accompany Makayla and Hayden to Jack’s office. I hear arguing from inside. We stop in front of the door and eavesdrop.
“You put us all at risk,” Jack says, from within. “They have your face now. They know Billy’s in the area. And they are probably tracking that kid. His eye is on you, Hayden. It’s on you!”
Gia knocks on the door. “Johnny,” she says. The arguing ends. “The princess is with me.”
After a few seconds of silence, Jack opens the door. “Come in. Come in.”
Hayden is standing behind Jack’s desk. He is hunched over and shaking his head, with his fist clenched by his side.
Glaring at Jack, Makayla says, “Is everything okay in here?”
“We are good,” Jack says. “Right, Hayden?”
“Yeah,” Hayden answers, straightening his back and composing himself. “We’re good.”
Gia changes the subject. “I’m sure hotshot wants to know how Columbus went.”
“Yeah!” I exclaim. “How was it? Did you see Tyler? Did you hear anything about my dad? How are Melli, Lexa, and Ronnie? Heck, how’s Olivia?”
Jack replies, “It was an eventful trip. The good news is that, yes, Tyler is with Melli and Lexa. He is safe. He’s angry as all hell. But he is safe.”
Of course Tyler’s angry. He saw his dad get shot and his sister kidnapped. And he doesn’t even know the whole story. I’d be upset with Tyler if he wasn’t irate.
Jack goes on with his report. “The bad news is that I did not find any information regarding your dad’s status. His name has not been listed in any obituaries, so that is a plus. Tyler wanted to check the house, but he is in hiding at the moment.”
“That’s not good enough, Jack,” I say. “You have to know something.”
Jack responds, “My guess is that the Gray Coats found out that he was placed in the hospital and that they took him into their own care. Into their custody.”
“Wait. Custody? And why’s Tyler in hiding? It was your people who broke in.”
“Yes,” Makayla says, “but Tyler doesn’t know that.”
“You didn’t tell him?” I ask, standing tall.
“No,” Jack answers. “He’s under the assumption that Gray Coats invaded the house.”
Hayden adds, “And now the Gray Coats are looking for him.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
Jack says, “Two students go missing from the same school. Two chipped students. One is a Transgressor. One is the daughter of a notorious Transgressor. Not to mention, the public thinks that both Billy and you were in Gray Coat custody. Only we and the Coats know that is not the case. They are looking for anyone that will lead them to the eye-patched imposters. Your missing brother is near the top of their list. And your dad is probably a bargaining chip.”
“Trade me,” I say.
Jack looks confused. “What?”
“Trade me for Dad.”
“We can’t do that,” Hayden says. “We will find him. Isn’t that right, Johnny?”
Jack coughs. “Well, I do not want to lie to her. We will try to find him, though. However, we must be cautious right now. If he is in custody, though, I am sure he is being cared for.”
Gia’s heavy breathing distracts Jack. “Wait. So they’re onto us?” She’s starting to panic. Pointing at me, she says, “We gotta get rid of her. We’re done for.”
“Cool it, Gia,” Makayla says. She looks at Jack and Hayden. “You shouldn’t let her in on things.”
To my surprise, Gia doesn’t stick up for herself. Instead, she looks to the ground, hiding the flush on her face. Now I know why she goes on her power trips around me. She’s number four dog at best here.
“Gia is fine,” Jack says. He then reassures her. “And, Gia, we are fine. We need to be smart, but they are not onto us. They have no clue where or who we are.” He looks at Hayden. “That is as long as rogue boy here did not blow our cover.”
I shiver, thinking about what Jack said about Dade’s eye. Nervously, I ask, “Can they read my chip?” My eye twitches, hopefully not for the last time.
“Nah,” Hayden answers. “I told you that we hacked your chip. Besides, the T-Blox kept you off the grid for so long. You started the meds before you were even chipped, right? The Coats shouldn’t have any record of your thoughts.”
Jack cuts him off. “Right. Without any information on you, they have to look elsewhere.
So now it is a good thing your brother thinks the Coats are after him—because they are.”
Hayden says, “There is a different problem though.” He looks in Jack’s direction and instructs, “Show her. She deserves to know.” Hayden then walks up to me and places his hands on my shoulders as if to prevent me from throwing a fit. “Please, don’t freak out. We’ll take care of this. Promise.”
“If you say so.” Jack pulls a remote control from the top drawer of his desk. He presses a button, and a TV screen drops from the ceiling. It’s a cool hologram TV. Only the best for Jack, though where he gets his money is a little suspicious.
Watching the screen, I recognize the location of the recording right away. Two large green recycling bins. It’s the Garbage Spot. The camera shakes up and down. It’s a body cam, most likely from Jack’s perspective.
Melli enters the shot with her Bic-bun in. Her face is swollen and red. She’s been crying. It doesn’t matter why she’s crying; I want to reach into the hologram and yank the pen out and tell her everything’s okay. If only that would work. And if only everything really was okay.
Jack wasn’t lying about Tyler. He follows a couple steps behind Melli. I breathe a sigh of relief.
Tyler’s wearing the same plain white t-shirt that he wore the last time I saw him—only it’s now a plain yellowish-brown t-shirt. His jeans look newly ripped at the knees. Tyler never joined the ripped jean trend train. I hope he’s not hurt. He doesn’t appear to be walking with a limp. It’s possible Tyler borrowed the jeans. He wouldn’t have gone back into the house if he’s a wanted fugitive. If he did borrow a pair of pants, he should’ve asked for a clean shirt too.
Two more people enter the scene. Olivia’s black hair is up in a ponytail. So is Lexa’s. They don’t look like they’ve been crying. Both in black tank tops, they look ready to start a tag team fight. The bat in Lexa’s hand is a sign of that.
The camera shakes violently and zooms out as Lexa approaches with the bat raised. Actually, the camera isn’t zooming out. It’s moving backwards as Jack tries to avoid a broken arm, or worse. Lexa doesn’t swing, but her brow furrows and her mouth appears to rattle off a thousand curses. I’ve only seen her curse someone out—like really curse someone out—one time since
I’ve known her. I don’t remember why she was mad then, but this time she’s way past fiery Lexa mode. While we’re all watching the TV, Jack says, “Sorry, the audio wasn’t working.” He could be telling the truth, or he doesn’t want us hearing the one-sided conversation.
I remember now. Lexa cursed out a boy from school when he called Ronnie a derogatory name. Something…something…you Unfavorable…something. Lexa didn’t have a bat then. If she did, that kid would be wearing a new set of teeth these days.
As Lexa continues to berate Jack, the other three flank her.
The other three. There should be at least five total. Melli. Tyler. Olivia. Lexa. And…
“Where’s Ronnie?!” I spit. I wish I had a bat. “Jack! Where is Ronnie?! No way Lexa would’ve gone there without Ronnie!” Jack pauses the video. He runs his hand through his hair. His smug face is intolerable.
“Ronnie was not there,” Jack says. “He is gone. Most likely, he is somewhere in the South by now.”
I lunge at Jack. Hayden and Makayla hold me back. “What did you do to him, you worthless piece of trash? What did you do!” I yank my arms free.
“It wasn’t him,” Makayla says. “It was Melli. And maybe me. I gave it to her.”
The sweat kicks in on cue. I think about the night at the Garbage Spot. Melli did something to Ronnie. That’s why she’s crying. The Bic-bun indicates her guilt. What did she say that night? She said she’d take care of it. Then she injected Ronnie with T-Blox. Makayla winked in approval. Ronnie’s night thoughts shut down. He went off the grid. Would the Coats pick up on it that quickly?
My fury now is directed at Makayla. “You gave Melli the T-Blox? You said it’d be fine. You said he’d be fine!” I push Makayla toward the wall. Her head collides with the corner of the TV. Her bleached hair now has a hint of red in it. She reaches her hand toward her head to examine the damage.
“I deserve that,” Makayla admits. “I do.” She keeps her distance.
“You deserve a lot more than that!” I pull my arms away from whoever tries to calm me. “Someone better explain to me what’s going on. Jack, you’re up.”
“Well,” Jack begins, “the Coats normally would not immediately look into a chip going off grid. But with you and Billy both missing, and the Coats looking incompetent, they stormed through your school. Melli said that they lined up every chipped individual in the school, along with any person affiliated with either of you. Billy was a loner, so nothing panned out with that. But Ronnie not only is your friend, he’s a non-Ivory. A non-Ivory who went off the grid.”
With an unusually serious tone, Hayden interrupts, “Okay, Johnny. Let’s get to the point. Detaining and deporting Ronnie is a power move. They needed someone to take down, and Ronnie took the hit. And by making a public example of him, the whole Union is probably happy. One less non-Ivory to worry about corrupting this perfect republic. The Coats will get an award or something, probably.”
I bend my knees and put my head between them. No one moves toward me. I think they know I need to unload my frustration. I scream.
“Listen, Maggie,” Jack eventually silences my screams. “That’s not all. Melli is kicking herself for urging you to stop the T-Blox. Lexa and Tyler blame me, which they might be justified in doing. They’re all freaking out.”
I stand up and stare at Jack through my watering eyes. “Did you tell them I’m safe? Did you tell them I’m here?”
“No,” Jack responds. “I couldn’t do it, not yet. They think the Gray Coats got you. We cannot risk it while the Coats are looking for you. Especially with your friends all freaking out.”
Gia says, “See! We’re done! I told you. Those fools are gonna be the end of us. Let’s offer her up. The Coats will be happy then. We’ll be in the clear.”
“Gia, chill!” Makayla commands. She now holds a bandana over her head wound.
“Gia’s right,” I say. “I’ll turn myself in. Ronnie will be safe. Tyler will be safe. And Dad will be released. Right?”
“It’s not that easy,” Hayden says. “And I won’t let you.”
Jack says, “They know you are alive. I did tell them that. I told them I talked to my YRL contacts. If I didn’t tell them something, I was a dead man. On the plus side of things, we have four potential recruits. Well, in all honesty, just one. Melli is way too emotional right now, and Tyler will not take a liking to the recklessness of my Suits. Olivia is sold on the YRL peaceful revolution agenda. But Lexa—Lexa is a viable option. She would jump at the opportunity to get back at the Coats.”
I reel at the very idea of it. “No!” I yell. “Leave Lexa out of this! If I had a baseball bat, I’d finish you off for Lexa. You’d be a dead man.”
Jack says, “Don’t worry. I would never recruit any of your friends without your consent.”
“Not a chance!” I clench my fists to slow the trembling in my arms. “We’re not bringing Lexa into this. You do that, Jack, and I’m out. I’m out!”
Hayden rubs my shoulders to relax me. It doesn’t work. He whispers in my ear, “Maggie, I’ll keep Lexa away. For you. I won’t let Johnny bring her in.” Hayden’s promise alleviates some of my tension—a very small amount.
“What are ya saying to her?” Gia says.
“I said,” Hayden responds, “that Johnny will not bring Lexa into this.” He turns to Jack. “Isn’t that right?”
“I would prefer not to,” Jack says, rubbing his nose.
“Yeah, I think it would serve you best to stay away from her,” Hayden says, almost threatening Jack. Again, he comes to my defense.
I think back to my friends. Melli’s traumatized. Olivia’s prepared to lead a freedom march. Tyler wants to walk into a Gray Coat base and open fire. Lexa wants to bomb every government building in the country. And Ronnie has been deported. And then there’s me. I’m here—with Jack and Gia and an army of Transgressors. I can’t see the cost of being somebody—as Lexa put it—being worth any of this. So much sacrificing, just for me to think at night.
Sacrifice. What did Jack say yesterday? I hope your sacrifice is not in vain. Maybe he’s right. I didn’t ask for any of this, but sitting around and waiting for things to fix themselves hardly seems like an option. I have some leverage here; for whatever reason, I’m the key to Jack’s plan.
I hold Jack responsible for this whole situation, and I don’t have any real interest in helping him. Who knows if his intentions are good or bad? I’m certainly not the best judge. But if there’s something I can do for the others, should I try?
Without knowing what I’m saying, I suddenly ask, “How can I help you?” I’m not surprised by the shocked faces. I’m shocked myself. Am I ready to help these people? If it means I can help Ronnie and the others, then maybe I am.
Jack grins. “You are going to be a Thinker.”
Makayla steps in. “That’s what I was trying to get to earlier.” She must sense my irritation, because she doesn’t risk getting too close. “Thinkers are everything. They respond to our intel. They tell us what’s safe and unsafe. They let us know whether or not we make a correct call. They ultimately determine the plans for all of our actions. The Thinkers are the resistance.”
I nod my head, pretending I understand what she’s saying. I honestly have no clue. What intel? What safety? Calls for what? Why me?
“Why me?” I blurt out the question in my mind. “Why am I so ideal?”
“Like we told you at our previous meeting,” Makayla explains, “your thoughts have been untainted.”
To an extent, I grasp the whole untainted concept. Without any real connection to the government or to the opposition, I’m a neutral party. My night thoughts haven’t been active; therefore, the influence of opinions around me hasn’t been retained. My mind is essentially disconnected from the turmoils and pleasures of daily life. Until they become tainted by my surroundings, my night thoughts will be entirely organic, spontaneously objective. That’s what Jack wants.
“And to be honest,” Makayla s
ays, “you’ve been shut down for so long that your night thoughts should be free from corruption for a long time. That’s what we think, at least. We’ve never had a Thinker with this much...” Makayla pauses. “…this much experience.”
Experience. Makayla’s very smart in the way she spins a hole in my life into a remarkable ability. It’s a unique way to look at it. I’d consider it a lack of experience. How can a detachment from the world compute to experience?
“We could be wrong,” Jack confesses. “It could backfire. Your thoughts have been locked up for so long that they might blow up into something so insane that not even our Techies can piece them together. Then, your night thoughts would be unusable.”
“Okay,” I say. “How many Thinkers are there?”
“We can’t tell you that, newbie,” Gia chimes in.
“Only you,” Jack says. “We only want the daughter of the Tara Gordon. You will be great. You have her genes.”
I think about Dade. I think about how he was so excited to be in my presence. It’s probably because of Mother. But if I could help more people like Dade, if I could help Tyler. Or Ronnie. Then, maybe, this could be worth it.
“I’ll do it,” I say. If anything, I want to know more about this whole operation. “At least, I’ll try.”
“What?” Hayden responds. “Are you sure?”
I’m not sure. Not at all. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. I answer, “Yes…maybe…I don’t know. I don’t know who the enemy is. But you can clear that up for me. I want to know your plans. And I want to know what it is that makes me so damn special.”
“Gia,” Jack says, not hesitating, “take Maggie to the Think Tank. First thing in the morning. We’ll meet you all there.”
“Yes, sir,” Gia says without reluctance or resistance.
“You don’t have to do it this soon,” Hayden says. “Give yourself time.”
Time is the one thing I don’t want. Tyler doesn’t have time. Ronnie doesn’t have time.
Dad doesn’t have time.
Chapter 13