by Fitch, E. M.
Kaylee had been rounding the stairs, heading for the supply room and a new tube of toothpaste, when she overheard their low argument.
“There’s no rush,” Nick insisted, his eyes on the tabletop.
“I’ve always said Andrew and I would stay with you and the girls; but Nick, I’m a fool if I don’t take my boy and go with them.”
“And you think Andrew would leave the girls?” Nick asked. Kaylee thought she could detect a note of shame in her father’s voice at his use of this ploy. She felt he should feel ashamed at delivering this low blow, but she also knew he was right. Andrew would never leave them.
“Nick,” Anna interrupted. “You need to be fair. We’ll all stick together but we can’t be selfish. You need to see what’s best for all of us.”
“What’s best for my girls is for them to be protected,” Nick said, his voice a low and pleading whisper. “I don’t know what I’m more afraid of, that there isn’t anyone left, or that there is. I’m very afraid of what finding people would mean for my daughters.”
Neither Bill nor Anna responded, though Bill did shove away from the table and stalk past Kaylee to his room. He hadn’t even seemed particularly bothered that she had heard them, just gave a look that was an odd mix of sympathy and anger.
Emma was grinning like the Cheshire Cat when Kaylee had finished knocking out. She was practically bouncing in her seat and Kaylee rolled her eyes at how ridiculous her little sister got when it came to winning a silly card game. Jack gave a hearty laugh as Emma threw her pair of Queens. He rapped his knuckles on the table immediately.
“You, on the other hand, are excellent at this game,” he said with an affectionate push to Emma’s shoulder. “I’ll bet that last card is a two.”
“You’ll have to keep playing to find out,” she retorted, sticking her tongue out at him. Andrew scowled but knocked once on the table.
“Andrew! You in the kitchen?”
“Yeah!” Andrew yelled, answering his father and pushing back from the table. “Guess that’s it for me. Dad needs help with the doors. One of the frames is giving way again,” he continued, not sounding at all disappointed to have to leave the game. “Kay, do you have laundry to do?”
“Nope,” she answered, placing her cards on the table. “Finished already.”
Andrew grunted his understanding, shifting his feet where he stood. He seemed reluctant to leave now and Kaylee thought she knew why.
“Andrew!”
“Coming, coming!” he shouted back. He gave the group one last rueful glance. Jack was looking politely towards Andrew, his hands folded across his chest. Emma’s leg was bouncing and she was staring from the pile of cards in front of Kaylee to the pile lying in the center of the table.
“Can you go on that, or what?” she asked, nodding towards the table. Kaylee rolled her eyes.
“Right, well, bye,” Andrew muttered as he left for the living room and the fireman’s pole that still transverse the three levels of the old station, landing on the floor of the garage.
“Bye, Drew,” Kaylee called before yelling out in pain. “Ouch! Emma, don’t pinch!”
“Can you?” she asked, pointing to the pile. Jack was laughing quietly, looking as though he was trying to keep himself from doing so and failing miserably.
“No, I can’t, okay? You’re so rude!”
“You’re my sister,” Emma retorted. “You can’t be rude to siblings, they just have to get over it.”
“I don’t know who taught you that logic but—”
“Will you just knock already!”
“Fine!” Kaylee all but shouted as she rapped hard on the table. Her knuckles felt the sting but she held in her wince knowing it would only make Emma laugh even harder. Jack, on the other hand, had no qualms about laughing at her anyway. He was nearly doubled over. Kaylee thought it was a bit of an over-reaction.
It’s not that funny.
Emma whooped as soon as Kaylee knocked out of her turn and threw her last card, a two, unto the pile. “I win!” she declared. Jack continued chuckling even as he threw his last pair, nines, after Emma’s.
“And I’m second again,” he added unnecessarily.
Even more unnecessarily Kaylee spoke. “Yeah, yeah, last. I know.” She had lost five out of seven hands. She was getting used to it by now.
“Believe it or not,” Jack said, pushing up from the table and stretching. “It’s really not as much fun with only three players. Do you both want to head into the living room and—”
“Actually, I think I’ll head to the roof,” Emma interrupted, gathering the worn cards and shoving them in her back pocket. “See if Quinton’s up there.” She rushed for the stairs and Kaylee heard her take them two at a time.
“Did I say something?” Jack asked, looking bewildered at her abrupt departure. “Or was that her subtle way of giving us some alone time.”
Kaylee rolled her eyes. It was not the first suggestive comment Jack had made to her. It was part of the reason he annoyed her so frequently, with his overt and ridiculous lines that were so over the top and embarrassing. It was also part of the reason Andrew disliked him, or so Emma thought.
“No, you were your normal charming self,” she answered dryly.
“Right, obviously,” he said, nodding towards the living room and indicating Kaylee should follow him. She did, for lack of anywhere better to be. “But normally Emma’s not too turned off by my charm.”
“It’s not you,” Kaylee sighed, crossing the threshold to the living room and folding herself unto one end of the couch. “It’s the living room. Emma doesn’t come in here.”
For as tough as Emma was, she couldn’t stand to be in the living room. It offered the best view to their old home and her father was seen all too often staring out the window. Kaylee knew what he would see. Mom. Emma couldn’t stand the sight.
“Because of…” Jack trailed off but nodded out the window towards the high rise. Kaylee jerked her head up towards him, surprised he understood so quickly, and nodded. “Poor kid,” Jack murmured, his eyes still faraway out the window. He turned from it and sat next to Kaylee on the couch.
“You know,” he started after a comfortable moment of silence. “You’re an awfully hard girl to get on her own.”
“I am?” Kaylee asked, surprised. She hadn’t realized he had been trying.
“Andrew seems to have quite a hold on you.”
She stiffened under what felt like an accusation. “It’s just a small building. And it’s very crowded at the moment.” Jack laughed under his breath.
“True,” he murmured and then his demeanor brightened. Kaylee eyed him suspiciously. “Want to get out?”
She laughed. “Oh sure!”
“I’m serious. It’s dark,” he continued, turning towards her and grabbing her hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Kaylee drew her hand back. Her palm felt sweaty, not at all expected in this season, and she was suddenly nervous. “My dad would pitch a fit,” she offered as a weak excuse to say no.
“Good thing he stays locked in his room and barely notices a thing then.” Jack grabbed her hand again and stood, tugging her with him. Kaylee frowned but followed as he pulled her to the fire pole.
“I don’t know, Jack,” Kaylee murmured hesitantly, staring at the pole. She very rarely left the building, just twice a week to pick vegetables when they were in season and even then her father and Andrew were watching her until she got inside the chain link fence. Kaylee was pretty sure Andrew had a rifle and ammunition put aside for those nights.
“Don’t you get at all frustrated staying locked up here like a little kid?”
Her eyes flashed as she spun on him, teeth grit in anger. But he merely grinned and rolled his eyes.
“C’mon, ladies first,” he said with a gentle push to Kaylee’s lower back. She shifted away from him.
Why is it I let him talk me into things? Kaylee half-mused, half-scolded herself as she gripped the cool pole. He chuckl
ed at her hesitation and she grit her teeth as she glared at him before she slid to the garage. Kaylee thought Andrew and Bill might see them and attempt to stop her, but they were engrossed in the entrance door. She could hear the hiss of the blowtorch as they fused the old, metal door to the cracking frame.
Jack followed her silently and metal screeched as he pulled back an old car hood that Andrew and Bill had fashioned to block the back exit. Kaylee shifted nervously as she watched him, half hoping Andrew would hear and coming running to forbid her to leave. She blinked in surprise before scoffing at the thought.
When exactly did I lose my backbone? Forbid me? What am I, some weak, useless mess?
She didn’t remember always feeling so pathetic and helpless. She didn’t remember ever feeling so reliant on Andrew to dictate her future. And she wasn’t sure she liked the feeling.
“Coming?” Jack asked, smirking, as he looked her over from the now open doorway. With only a small, quick glance back, Kaylee steeled herself and walked past him into the cool night air.
Kaylee felt a momentary surge of panic that she displaced with a quickly drawn breath. Jack stepped out around her and moved easily into the street. He had to walk around a huddled mass on the pavement, but it didn’t seem to bother him.
“Jack, that you?”
“I’m going for a walk,” Jack answered Quinton’s rough bark of a question. Though Quinton was on the rooftop, he spoke in a volume one would use when speaking just across the room. The night was so still, so quiet, that his voice did not need to be any louder.
“We’ll keep it to the east,” Quinton continued. In the clear air of the undisturbed night, Kaylee could easily hear a gun cock on the rooftop. She stepped out onto the pavement, walking carefully until she reached Jack’s side.
“You’re not used to being out, are you?” he asked, strolling casually away from the firehouse. She had to hurry now to catch up.
“I go to the cornfield,” she answered evasively, stepping nearer to him as she avoided a child drawing strained breaths on the sidewalk. He wrapped his hand around hers as she came closer. She cleared her throat and pulled her fingers away, crossing her arms over her chest instead.
“That’s not the same,” Jack continued, unaffected by her rejection. “I’ll bet Andy watches you from the roof the whole time.” Kaylee huffed and rolled her eyes.
“Andrew is just looking out for me.”
“How old are you, Kaylee?” Jack asked suddenly, turning to face her as he walked backwards, his hands now shoved in his pockets. He was smiling down at her and Kaylee found it difficult to meet his gaze.
“Why?” she asked, immediately on the defensive. “Are you alluding that I should be old enough to take care of myself? Because there is nothing wrong with being a part of a community and watching out for each other, in fact—”
“Hold up,” Jack interrupted with a laugh. “I was just curious. Not implying anything.” Kaylee frowned. He turned back around and kept walking, just ahead of her, and she followed mutely.
It was true that she didn’t leave the building. And there were many days where the feeling of containment and claustrophobia was overwhelming. Kaylee jumped as Jack kicked a nearby can that had been discarded years ago, the rust had stained the concrete and red flakes were jarred loose from the metal surface. She drew a deep breath to steady herself before taking a good look around.
The shops and storefronts were as she remembered them: broken windows, random graffiti, trash and litter being blown about by the light breeze.
And the bodies. The bodies were everywhere. Barely breathing, chests rattling, they had fallen wherever they had been standing when the sun finally lowered. Most were curled into themselves in the fetal position; some were sprawled over each other. A sickly sweet odor of rot issued from their gaping mouths, air forced out over broken, yellow teeth. Kaylee shuddered.
“You don’t like them,” Jack observed. Kaylee hadn’t noticed that he was now keeping pace besides her. She shook her head. “But you think killing them is wrong?”
“It’s not my place.”
“Whose place is it then?” Jack persisted, watching her as he continued to walk. They came to the corner, three directions spread out before them. Kaylee paused.
“It’s no one’s place, I guess,” she answered, her eyes kept on the road. “Which way?”
“Let’s keep west,” Jack said, turning left and walking in the direction of the hazy, deep purple sky. From behind them, the sounds of gunshots followed by the shattering of glass echoed into the night. “But what about Emma?”
“What about her?” Kaylee asked, feeling defensive again.
“She would have killed me in the cornfield with that rock. Would that have been wrong?”
“She thought you were trying to eat me,” Kaylee said, her lips twisting in irritation.
“So, self-defense is acceptable?” he pushed.
“I don’t know, okay?” Kaylee said, the volume of her voice rising with her frustration. “What do you want me to say: if it came down to them or me, would I pick me? Probably. That I’d kill to save Emma or Dad or Andrew if I had to? Well, I probably would. But I hate it, all right? I think it’s wrong. What if we’re not all that’s left? What if there’s a cure? What if they’re supposed to live? I couldn’t stand there and pull a trigger when anyone of them could be—” she broke off, angry that her eyes prickled with unshed tears and her breath was coming far too rapidly.
“You mean her,” Jack said in a soft whisper. “Your mother?”
Kaylee hadn’t noticed before but somewhere during her rant she had stopped walking. Jack was standing three feet from her in the middle of the crosswalk. She nodded quickly and stepped past him. He followed her lead.
They walked in a comfortable silence. Storefronts and restaurants came and went, windows long shattered and debris littering the sidewalks. It didn’t feel odd any longer to see the city in this permanent blackout. Kaylee knew not to expect the streetlights and neon signs, the stoplights and the glare of oncoming traffic. Instead, at night, it felt as though she was cast in a 1950’s sitcom; everything was drained of color, black and white. Dark, empty windows stared down at them now. Shards of glass, like teeth, still clung in some, occasionally reflecting the bright and scattered stars. The moonlight made the pavement glow silver and cast dull shadows across their path. Even the bright red of Jack’s tee shirt darkened to a charcoal.
He was whistling lowly, a cheerful tune, as he walked with her. He seemed at ease, his hands swinging loosely by his side, fingers occasionally brushing Kaylee’s. He didn’t attempt to grab her hand again. His demeanor invaded the space around them and it was impossible to feel upset, even in this wasteland of industry, this walking graveyard, even as thoughts of her mother flashed inconsistently through her mind.
“Have you noticed the smiley faces?” he asked after a time. Kaylee’s irritation had dissipated and she started out of the comfortable silence with a confused humming.
“Hmm?” She pulled her gaze from the line in the center of the pavement to look at him. He was walking towards an old deli, one Kaylee remembered particularly for their Italian combo sandwiches. On the glass of the storefront, directly over the old neon ‘Open’ sign; someone had spray-painted a large smiley face, a tongue hanging off its’ stick mouth. “Oh, those. Andrew does them after they’ve cleared out a store. It means there’s nothing left worth scavenging.”
“Interesting choice in graffiti,” Jack mused, chuckling as he stepped back towards Kaylee. She laughed.
“Yeah, well it’s unique in it’s own way. Nobody else thought to use that when they were predicting the apocalypse,” Kaylee joked. It had been common practice as people fled their homes to loot, raid, and steal. And then when the infection had really taken hold the mass hysteria gave way to religious fanatics that stood preaching among the masses their apocalyptic visions. So it became common practice for buildings to get marked with passages from the Bible or warning
s that condemned every race, religion, and lifestyle with the blame for starting this plague.
Jack hummed and nodded, his lips still curled into a smile. Kaylee saw a dimple she hadn’t noticed before mark the right corner of his mouth.
“I think I like you better out here,” Kaylee mused, watching him as she spoke her thoughts aloud. “You’re not nearly as obnoxious.” Jack barked a laugh.
“Thanks, I guess.”
“Why is that, do you suppose?” she continued, watching him closely. He continued to grin but there was a nervous set to his jaw now.
“You’re not nervous?” Kaylee questioned as Jack’s fingers once again brushed hers and he withdrew them for the fifth time. He chuckled lightly.
“You caught me,” he admitted freely. “Haven’t been on a date in a while.”
Kaylee snorted. “This is not a date.”
“If you say so,” he continued lightly, now teasing again. “But I’m not so sure. I mean, c’mon, I am taking you to the movies.” He gestured grandly to the cinema across the street. The glass cases that once held movie posters were covered in old spray paint. Kaylee raised her eyebrows at the trite saying covering over an old Sandra Bullock movie poster: The End is Near. Typical.
“Hmm, classy,” Kaylee remarked, staring pass Jack into the broken down movie theatre. Over a pile of barely breathing infected that blocked the doorway, she could see glass shards and garbage scattered over the lobby’s carpet. Popcorn that had once been yellow and fluffy was shriveled and black, smearing against the glass case that contained it.
“Would you prefer dinner?” he asked, finally linking fingers with her and pulling her further down the street. “I thought I saw, ah yes,” he said in triumph, pointing down the road. “Italian?”
“Hmm,” Kaylee hummed, delicately extracting her hand again and putting one finger to her chin. The corner restaurant front had once boasted ‘New York Style Pizza’ though with the broken glass it now read ‘York e Pizz.’
“No?” Jack continued, spinning on the spot and pointing again. “French?” Kaylee laughed as he picked out a little bistro.