Roam

by C. H. Armstrong

  “How do you know, Zach?” I shout. “And even if you didn’t, I don’t need your pity!”

  “I know because I know who I am—and I thought you did, too. And don’t worry, Abs—the last thing I’m feeling right now is pity.”

  “Thanks,” I say, dryly.

  Zach pulls in a breath. “Who else knows?”

  “Apparently everyone, thanks to Trish.”

  “Did you tell anyone? Josh?”

  I shake my head. “No. Nobody.”

  “So you’ve been living a lie for what—since you got here? How do you think that makes me feel, Abby? How do you think it feels knowing you didn’t trust me? I thought we were more than that.”

  “I do trust you, Zach. I didn’t tell you because—because I was embarrassed.” My voice trails off to a whisper.

  He lifts an eyebrow. “Explain that to me. What do you have to be embarrassed about, except lying to me all this time? It’s not your fault you’re homeless.”

  “I don’t know. You just—you treated me so well. You have everything: a big house, a nice car, money—I have nothing, and I was embarrassed.”

  Zach doesn’t respond, almost as though he’s not sure what to say. Several moments of tense silence pass, and twice more his phone buzzes. He ignores it.

  “How long?” he finally asks.

  I swallow hard. “Since we moved to Rochester.”

  “How? How does that happen?”

  I explain the series of events, beginning with the Snapchat of Mom. His eyes soften as I explain about her forced resignation, the bullying at my old school, her seizure, Nick’s layoff, the mounting medical bills and debt, and finally the almost-eviction that precipitated our move.

  “There wasn’t anyone who could help you?” he asks. “Grandparents, or your parents’ friends?”

  I shake my head. “Mom and Nick were both only children. Nick’s parents died right after he graduated high school. My mom’s mother died of breast cancer when I was a baby, then my grandfather died a month later. As far as I know, they were our only family. As for friends…” I shrug. “They all abandoned us after Mom’s affair.”

  “But what about after you moved here? I would’ve helped you.”

  “You don’t get it, Zach. I couldn’t tell you—I couldn’t tell anyone! I’d already been humiliated at my old school for something that wasn’t my fault, and I couldn’t go through that again. And …” I swallow hard, my next words barely a whisper. “I was afraid you’d hate me if you found out.”

  He ignores my last words and my heart drops to my stomach. I knew it—he hates me! I bite my lip. Don’t you dare cry, Abby! Don’t you dare let him see you cry!

  Once again his phone buzzes. I want to scream at him—yell at him to shut the damned thing off—but I’m scared. So I do my best to ignore it, instead clearing my throat. “What are you thinking?”

  Still Zach doesn’t respond. He just stares out the front window as though I don’t exist. Minutes pass, and then he punches the steering wheel and shouts, “I’m fucking furious!”

  The steering wheel vibrates, the sound echoing in the quiet car. I shrink back against the passenger door as a wave of tears rushes from my eyes. This time I don’t even try to stop them. I couldn’t if I wanted to.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  He grinds his teeth. “How could you be with me for two months and not tell me? Don’t you trust me?”

  “No! Yes! I mean—I do trust you, Zach!” I touch his arm but he shrugs me off. The simple gesture is almost my undoing and my heart tingles like it’s breaking into pieces.

  “Why, Abs?” His voice is quiet.

  “Why what?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I told you—I was scared. My best friends at my old school completely abandoned me. I was afraid you guys would do the same. I was scared you’d hate me if you knew. I mean, you have everything.”

  “Yeah,” he scoffs. “Everything but your trust. I don’t know, Abs—if we don’t have trust, then what do we have?”

  I stare out the passenger window and another sob wracks my body. I close my eyes, hoping Zach will throw the car in reverse and take me back. Instead, he slowly breathes in and out as though counting to ten before each inhale.

  His eyes on me burn, but I refuse to meet them with my own. A moment passes, and he reaches out and pushes a stray hair behind my ear. “Hey. Look at me, Abs.”

  I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and turn my head in his direction, but stare at my lap.

  “I’m sorry,” he says. “Please don’t cry. I’m not really angry with you. More than anything, I’m hurt. I’m sorry I yelled. It’s just that it stings that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. And, I guess if I’m angry, I’m really angry at the situation and at Trish. No—I’m livid. I can’t believe she’d out you like that. She has everything, and still she’s so petty she’d humiliate you for something outside your control.”

  Zach’s words soothe some of my pain and my tears slow. “I’m really sorry.”

  “I know you are, and I am, too. I didn’t handle this well. I was surprised and didn’t know how to react.”

  I nod.

  “Abby, look at me.” Zach lifts my chin with his knuckles until my eyes meet his. Yet again, his phone vibrates but he ignores it. “This isn’t your fault, you know. I’m not even sure it’s your parents’ fault. Remember when I said I had your back? I meant that. I’m not going to make you go through this alone like your shit friends at your old school. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re not?” I ask.

  “No.” He smiles softly. “I meant what I said earlier. I love you. I have, almost since the first moment I saw you, but I knew it the first time I heard you sing. I love you, and I’m going to stick this out with you. However it turns out, we’re a team.”

  I sit in stunned silence. Deep down, I know I love Zach, too, but I’m not ready to say the words. Especially after all that’s happened, saying the words is too much like expressing gratitude. When I finally say them, I want there to be no mistake I mean them, and not because I’m grateful.

  “Thank you.” I smile through the last of my tears.

  Zach cups the back of my head then leans across the console and presses his lips to mine. In seconds, my heart stops aching and soars with relief. I meet his lips with mine as one kiss becomes two, then three. After several long moments, he pulls away and smiles. “Are you okay?”

  I nod. “I think so, but what do we do now? I mean—”

  “The only thing we can do. Forge ahead. We go to school on Monday, and we face everyone. You don’t run away because, if you do, Trish wins. You go in with your head high and confident. And you don’t say you’re sorry because there’s nothing to be sorry for. I’ll be right beside you, and so will Josh, Tera, and Wendy. And Scott, too.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask. “I don’t know if I can.”

  “Absolutely certain. And not only can you, but you will. Between Josh and me, we’ll be with you at all times. We won’t let you face this alone.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me. I should be thanking you for being with me. I don’t care how much money your family has or doesn’t have. I just want to be with you.”

  The first trace of a smile makes its way to my lips. “I want that, too.”

  “Good, because you’re stuck with me for a while.”

  Zach leans over the console once again and pulls me into his embrace. His lips are firm, as though trying to convey how much he means what he’s said. I return his kiss until we’re interrupted once again by the insistent buzzing of his phone.

  “Aren’t you going to get that?” I ask.

  His mouth finds mine once again. “It’s not for me,” he says between kisses.

  I pull back and give him a confused look. “Who’s it for, then?”

  Zach pulls the phone from his pocket, glances at it, then hands it to me. “It�
�s for you.”

  Surprised, I take the phone from him and read the display. Thirty-four missed calls—all from Josh.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  I SPENT THE REMAINDER OF THE WEEKEND DREADING TODAY—DREADING GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AND facing everyone. I’ve even avoided Facebook because I can’t bring myself to look at the comments. I’ve never been a coward before, but I’m teetering on the edge.

  “You ready, kiddo?” Nick asks as he stops at Door Six.

  I dry my sweaty palms on my jeans. “No.”

  “I’m sorry, Abs.” Mom turns in her seat and places a hand on my knee. “Maybe this time will be different. Your friends are different, if Zach and Josh are any indication.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.

  “Keep your chin up, okay?” Nick’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. “Don’t let them see you stagger. You have no reason to be ashamed.”

  I close my eyes, pull in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Here goes nothing.”

  My door is barely opened when Zach steps out of Door Six with Josh, Tera, and Wendy at his side. He and Josh smile, but Tera’s and Wendy’s expressions are unreadable. When they reach my side, Zach pulls me into his strong arms. I take a second to hide in the fabric of his jacket.

  “You ready?” he asks.

  I nod and pull away, facing Josh and the girls.

  Without a word, Josh pulls me into a hug. He says nothing at first—he just holds me and lends me his strength. “I’ve got your back, Ariel.”

  I bury my face further in his sweater. “I know. Thank you.”

  I pull away and rub hands over my eyes, wiping away the start of tears. There are tears in Josh’s eyes, too, but he ignores them. I turn to Wendy and Tera who stand behind him waiting their turns. Tera opens her arms first, and I step into them. Wendy joins us and we stand together in a group hug.

  “I—” I begin.

  “No,” Tera interrupts. “No apologies. No explanations. No embarrassment. I’m sorry you didn’t tell us, but we get it.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course we do,” Wendy says.

  “You’re not mad?”

  Tera bites her lip, holding back a smile. “For, like, a minute. And then Josh and Wendy smacked me on the head and reminded me it wasn’t about us and, if we’re really your friends, our job is to support you.”

  I swipe at another tear. “You’re the best friends I’ve ever had.”

  “Of course we are. We’re awesome.” Wendy grins and loops her arm through mine. “Enough procrastinating, though. Let’s show ’em what we got.”

  Tera loops my other arm through hers. “Anybody says anything to you, they’ll have to go through us first.”

  “Damn straight.” Zach takes a position on the other side of Tera.

  Josh grabs Wendy’s empty hand. “Let’s go kick some ass.”

  With me in the middle, and my friends on each side, we’re an unbreakable chain, like a team of Red Rover players. Nobody will break our ranks today.

  STUNNED IS THE only word I have for the reaction I’m receiving. Stunned because there’s been no reaction. None. It’s third period already, and not a single person has mentioned the photo. It’s almost like it never happened.

  I find my desk behind Scott in chemistry and slide into my seat. Beside me, Josh bounces in his chair like a child waiting to visit Santa for the first time. His eyes sparkle.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Oh man!” He rubs his hands together. “You’re gonna love this!”

  “Love what?”

  Josh turns to Scott and lifts an eyebrow. “Are you going to tell her, or can I?”

  Scott laughs. “Oh no. This is mine to tell!”

  “Well, would you two tell me already?”

  “Okay,” Scott says. “First, I’m sorry I missed walking in with you this morning. Zach called me yesterday and filled me in, but I overslept. I barely made it to first period in time.”

  Josh blows out a sigh. “Okay, okay. Now just tell her!”

  “Fine!” Scott rolls his eyes. “So this morning I got here late. I guess because I wasn’t part of your ‘human chain’”—Scott makes air quotes with his fingers—“a few people didn’t realize we were good friends.”

  “Oh for God’s sake!” Josh whines. “Get to the point!”

  Scott glares at him. “As I was saying…have you noticed nobody’s talking about the photo Trish shared on Instagram?”

  “It was on Instagram, too?” I say.

  Scott offers an embarrassed smile. “Trish has her Instagram account linked to Facebook. Most of us do. If you post to Instagram, it automatically goes up on Facebook.”

  “Okay, okay.” Josh waves a dismissive hand. “She knows how it works. Would you just get on with the story, please?”

  “Anyway …” Scott narrows his eyes at Josh. “As I was saying, haven’t you found it weird that nobody’s said anything?”

  “Yeah.” I nod slowly. “It’s really weird.”

  “Right? Here’s why: a group of kids are pissed at Trish and organized a protest when they found out what happened.”

  “A protest of what?”

  “Trish’s bullying,” Josh interrupts.

  Scott throws another glare at Josh and clears his throat. “Right—Trish’s bullying.”

  My forehead crinkles. “What? How?”

  “Apparently, they’re sick of it,” Scott continues. “Someone started a text chain making sure everyone knew what went down, and calling on them to protest with their silence.”

  “Okay. That’s weird. But why didn’t we know?” I ask.

  Still bouncing in his seat, Josh interrupts again. “They didn’t want you to know—I guess they were afraid you’d feel pitied, so they excluded all of us from the text chain. When Scott wasn’t part of our line this morning, a few people forgot how close he is to us and they were talking about it in front of him.”

  “Weird! What’d they say?” I ask.

  Scott shrugs. “Just that they were silently protesting by not acknowledging Trish’s post. It was reported to Instagram or Facebook—I’m not sure which—and, soon after, both of her accounts were closed. A text chain was started suggesting everyone pretend it never happened. Someone even sent out a series of tweets under #TeamAbby.”

  My jaw drops. “No way! It’s on Twitter, too?”

  Josh grabs my hand. “Focus, Abs!”

  “But I don’t get it. Why ignore it? And how were they able to keep it from us—did either of you know?”

  Scott shakes his head. “Not until this morning, and that’s what’s brilliant. Trish does things for a reaction, so the idea was to ignore it and not give her the reaction she wanted. They kept it a tight secret and excluded all of us because they were afraid we’d tell you. I never would’ve known if I hadn’t been late this morning.”

  “Wow!” I blow out a breath.

  “That’s not even the best part,” Josh interrupts. “Mr. Bartlett knows, and Trish has been in his office since first period. Her parents showed up about an hour ago, and they’ve all been locked in there since.”

  “No way! That explains why she wasn’t in my history class.”

  “Yup,” he says. “Maleficent’s rule is about to end. I’d be surprised if even Zoë stands by her now.”

  Scott rolls his eyes. “You and your Disney references.”

  “What?” Josh throws his palms in the air. “You’re telling me Trish doesn’t remind you of Snow White’s evil step-monster?”

  “Sure.” Scott shrugs. “But why Maleficent and not Ursula—you know, since Abby’s nickname is Ariel?”

  I wave my hand in front of both boys. “Hey guys—your turn to focus here! So what’s all this mean?”

  Josh shrugs. “Not sure. I’d bet she gets expelled—or suspended at least. There goes Juilliard.”

  “What? Why?” I ask.

  Scott frowns and throws a dirty look at Josh. “The school has a strict no-bullyi
ng policy and cyberbullying falls under that category. If she gets expelled or suspended, Juilliard won’t take her, regardless of how talented she is.”

  “Wow. I’m sorry you’re in the middle like this. I know you like her.”

  Scott lifts a shoulder but doesn’t meet my eyes. “It is what it is. It was a stupid thing to do and she had to know it.”

  I’m at a loss for words but am saved from commenting as Ms. Burke enters the room and returns our graded tests from last week. I sit in a daze as waves of disbelief wash over me. Nothing has turned out as I expected. Trish is in serious trouble, and the weirdest thing is I almost feel sorry for her.

  At ten minutes before the bell, a knock sounds at the classroom door. Ms. Raven stands in the doorway. Ms. Burke greets her and the two women converse in quiet whispers before Ms. Burke returns her attention to the class.

  “Abby,” she says. “Ms. Raven needs you for a few minutes. Go ahead and gather your things since it’s so close to the bell.”

  Scared, I collect my books and turn to Josh. “Tell Zach where I am if I don’t get back in time for lunch?”

  He nods and I meet Ms. Raven in the hall. She smiles and offers polite greetings, but gives no indication of why I’ve been summoned until we reach her office.

  “Have a seat, Abby.” She motions toward two empty chairs then sits behind her desk “You’ve had a rough weekend.”

  “I guess you heard?”

  “About Trish and the soup kitchen?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “I did. I’m sorry—that was a crummy thing to do. Mr. Bartlett is dealing with it, but I wanted to see how you’re holding up.”

  “I’m fine. It’s—nothing has turned out like I expected.”

  She smiles. “I heard about the text chain. That’s rather impressive—we have some great kids here.”

  “Yeah. It was—wow!” I shake my head and search for a way to ask the question burning the back of my brain. There’s no good way to ask, so I blurt out, “What will happen to Trish?”

  Ms. Raven lifts an eyebrow and sits back in her chair. “I can’t comment on her situation, but I will say our entire staff is committed to ensuring a bully-free environment, so I have faith it will be resolved appropriately.”