The Secret: A Friends To Lovers Romance (North Woods University Book 3)

by J. L. Beck

  “Holy fuck, Emerson.” I don’t see Clark move through my tear-stained vision, but I feel him getting up off the couch and taking a seat next to me.

  His arms circle round me as he pulls me into his chest. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. Don’t ever think that.”

  “He was there, Clark. He was there…I saw him…” I cry into his chest.

  “Where? At the benefit event?” Clark’s voice takes on a frantic tone.

  “Yes, he grabbed me when I was following you, it was him.”

  Clark pulls away, holding me at a distance, his eyes bleeding into mine. “Rick Paulson? Rick Paulson is the guy who… who raped you?” His lips tremble as he says the words.

  My eyes go wide, my throat clogging and my chest tightening. How…how does he know him?

  “Y-you know him?”

  “No, I mean yes, kind of. I met him once, a few weeks ago. That day Vance picked you up from classes. He introduced himself to me as an old friend of my father’s, he told me he just moved here…” Clark trails off as if the pieces of the puzzle are only now connecting in his mind. “It was him? He hurt you?” he asks, more as if he’s talking to himself then asking me, but I answer him anyway with a nod.

  As if there is a fire, he jumps up from the couch the movement so sudden that I jerk back against the cushions.

  “I’m going to kill him,” he grits out, fury overtaking his features. His hands curl into tight fists and his muscles bulge with tension. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

  He starts to head for the door, and I jump up off the couch, rushing to his side. “No! Clark, please… don’t leave me,” I plead, not caring how desperate I sound. Wrapping my arms around his middle to stop him, I bury my face against his chest.

  If I have to get on my knees and beg him to stay, I will. I would do anything at this point not to lose him. “You promised… you promised you would never leave me. I can’t lose you Clark and if you go and kill him, then I’ll lose you forever.”

  His hands grip onto my arms and for a second, I think he is going to push me away, my heart skidding to a stop in my chest, but then he releases me wrapping his strong arms around me. Intertwining us.

  “Fuck, you’re right. I won’t do anything to risk losing you.” His lips graze my forehead. Relief washes over me at his words. My body relaxing in his hold, comfort and warmth, replacing the panic in fear that stood there moments ago. “How? How did this fucker get to you? Where the fuck was your dad?”

  Memories of that time flood my brain at his question, but for the first time, they don’t suffocate me. They still hurt, still have my stomach in knots and my chest aching, but they are not drowning me like they used to. Not when I’m holding on to Clark, not with him by my side. He is my life preserver in this ocean of sadness, he keeps me afloat when I think I’m going to go under.

  For the first time in my life, I say the words out loud. I tell the story I never told before and never thought I would. “A few years back, Rick worked a big case with my dad. He stayed with us for that time…” I pause, holding on to Clark, drawing strength from him. “He would come in my room at night. At first it was just touching… I told him that I didn’t want to be touched, but he didn’t listen. He said stuff like, he knows I want him, everybody does, he’s seen the way I looked at him. I didn’t, but he made me feel like I did. He told me no one would believe me if I said anything and… he took pictures of me. He said he would show everybody if I would say something.”

  “Fuck, Em… I’m so sorry. I wish I would have been there to protect you. How did your dad not notice that something was wrong? I don’t fucking understand.”

  “I was a quiet person even before. My dad’s top priority always has been work, he never paid much attention to me and I was homeschooled, so I never really had friends. And even if I had anyone, I don’t think I would have said anything. I was so scared, and I felt dirty. I know now that it wasn’t my fault, but it felt like it then. I thought it was my fault. I was frightened and confused, and I felt broken… so broken. But all of that changed since I met you, I don’t know what I would do without you now. You don’t know what you mean to me, Clark. How much you helped me. Without you I’m a mess, suffocating in fear. Ever since you came into my life, I feel like I’m whole again. I love you…” The words pour out of me, and I mean every single one of them. He already knows my deepest and darkest secret so pouring out my heart to him feels easy now. Like it’s natural.

  “Never did I think I would care for someone as much as I care for you… and never, ever, did I think I would love someone but I do. I love you, Emerson.” His words caress the scabbed over wounds that cover my body. He loves me. He knows my secrets and he’s still here. He’s seen me in some of my worst times and yet, he still wants me.

  I smile with ease, my heart never having felt so heavy and full before.

  I don’t know how long we stand there, just holding onto each other, but after a while, he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.

  “Let’s go to bed. I want to get you out of this dress and hold you in my arms.” Heat flickers in his eyes, and somehow it sparks a fire inside of me, as if he’s fire and I’m gasoline.

  “Yes, let’s go to bed,” I repeat, letting him guide us to his bedroom. “I need to take a shower really quick though. He touched me and I want to get the feeling of him off my skin.”

  “Okay, whatever you need.” Clark starts to strip out of his tux, flicking the button on his dress pants and shoving them down his long legs.

  “Will you come with me?” Five little words have him stopping dead in his tracks. We’ve become pretty comfortable around each other, he made me come that one time and seen me naked then, but we haven’t been naked together since. I want that again, even if it doesn’t lead to anything. The closeness, the intimate feeling I got from being stripped bare, free in only a way Clark can make me feel. I want that, more tonight than I ever have before.

  I stare at him, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he speaks. “You want me to come take a shower with you?”

  “Yes,” I respond without having to think about it. I reach around my back and grab hold of the zipper, pulling it down in one swoop. I let the fabric slide off my shoulders and down my body, the dress puddling around my feet, leaving me in nothing but panties and a strapless bra. Clark’s inhale is audible, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Is that a yes?” I ask, batting my eyelashes.

  “If it’s what you want, then yes, it is. We’re going at your pace, for as long as we need to. When it comes to you, I have all the patience in the world.”

  God, I’m not sure what possessed him to hit on me that day and then help me with my panic attack instead of just walking away, but I’m pretty sure it was fate that brought us together.

  Gripping onto the side of my panties, I shove them down my legs to step out of them and head toward the bathroom, unclasping my bra in the process. By the time I reach the bathroom I’m completely naked and is Clark who is only a couple steps behind me. I turn the shower on, and open the glass door, stepping into the hot spray.

  I haven’t built up the courage to turn around and face Clark yet, but when he slides into the shower behind me, his hard cock bumps into my ass cheek, and I can’t help it. I’m too curious and weirdly excited not to look

  Turning around, my eyes go straight to the land between his thighs, and I gulp, literally gulp, practically swallowing my tongue in the process.

  I’ve felt his hard length a few times pressing against my leg or butt when we cuddled, but nothing could prepare me for seeing the actual thing. Thick and smooth, with a head that looks velvety soft. It’s bigger than I expected, but not shocking. Clark was a lady’s man for a reason before he decided to put dating and sex on the back burner.

  “If it’s…” Clark starts to say and I lift my gaze from his penis, and up to his face. He looks like he wants to smile, but he also looks nervous as hell, more n
ervous than I am.

  “Are you scared?” he asks a heartbeat later.

  Swallowing, I shake my head. “No. I’m not scared. Actually, I want… if you’re okay with it and can handle it, I was wondering if I could touch you… it, touch it.” God, I hope I don’t sound like a fool. I’m so far out of my element right now. I don’t know how to be sexy, or how to say things without them sounding weird.

  A huge grin spread across his face. “Oh, I’m okay with you touching it. More than okay.”

  Hesitantly, I reach over and wrap my fingers around his length a satisfied groan fills the shower at my touch. He’s just as smooth as I imagined him to be. Smooth, warm, and hard all at the same time. My thumb brushes across the head and I notice the way his body tenses at the slightest of grazes.

  “I’ve thought about this moment a thousand times, envisioned it, beat off a couple times to it, but nothing compares to the real-life version, the actual feeling of your hand wrapped around me.” He hisses, and I squeeze him a little harder. I’m not sure what he likes, what I should do? I get the concept of a hand job, but this is all new to me and I need a little guidance.

  As if he could read my mind, he tells me, “Tighten your hold, squeezing a little until you get the motion of stroking up and down. Don’t worry, you won’t break it.”

  The bathroom starts to fill with fog, and I do as he tells me, squeezing him while stroking him up and down. My movements are slow at first, but once I get the hang of it, I increase my pace. With his hand on the shower wall, he braces himself, leaning into me as if he’s having trouble holding himself up. His body cages mine, and though I should be scared, I’m not. My pulse is pounding in my ears, the fact that I make him feel this way, make it hard, and needy, turns me on. It makes me want him more.

  “Fuck, Em… you’re gonna make me come.” His voice is raw and gravely, filled with pent up lust and need. His hot breath fans against my neck and I shiver, my nipples turning to hard peaks.

  “Come, please, I want you to come…”

  “Fuck, keep going, faster…” He grunts, thrusting his hips into my hand, and I do. I stroke him faster, harder, needing him to come as if it’s my own orgasm. As if his pleasure is mine.

  “Yes, fuck...yes...I’m coming,” Clark pants, and a moment later his entire body tenses, his warm cum shoots out and lands on my leg. My eyes dart down to his length in my hand, the sight of his sticky release on my skin, and beading against the head of his penis does something to me. It’s mesmerizing, intoxicating, and I feel the need to make him come all over again.

  “Holy shit, you amaze me more and more every day, Em,” Clark says between breaths, sounding like he just ran a mile uphill. “That was… fuck, I don’t have words.”

  “I can see that you liked it,” I say, feeling giddy all of the sudden. The hazel in Clark’s eyes darken as he leans in and presses his lips to mine. I release his cock and wrap my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, and letting it consume me.

  This day has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions, to say the least. Never in a million years did I think all these things could be crammed into one single day. I came face to face with my abuser, but I survived. I didn't let him hurt me again and I never will. Never again will I be the victim. Never again will I cower with fear.

  Clark knows everything I have been hiding for years. I told him things I’ve never told a soul before and somehow he still wants me, more so, he still loves me. He doesn’t think I’m broken. He’s patient, kind, and compassionate.

  I’ve overcome so many fears today and I am glad that I did. I never felt so empowered and I never had so much hope about the future.

  “Let’s shower before we do anything else, then I’ll return the favor,” he says seductively, and I smile knowing nothing can get better than this. Nothing.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Clark

  My body is still humming from the mind-blowing orgasm Emerson gave me in the shower when we crawl into bed together. We’re both completely naked and Emerson seems to be content with that, god knows I won’t complain about the lack of clothing. I’ve been waiting for us to get to this point for weeks, that’s not to say I don’t enjoy having an emotional connection, it’s just l love fucking sex, and I want it with Emerson more than I’ve ever wanted it with anyone else before.

  Peering down at her tight little body, over the curves and swell of her breasts, I wonder how I got so lucky. Fuck I need her, a taste, a tiny one.

  “I need to make you come, do you want that?” I ask, needing to make sure this is something she wants before I make the move.

  “Yes, please,” she says quietly, and that’s enough for me to get my ass into gear. Gently I place her on the bed, hovering over her perfect body. Her red hair fans out against the mattress, like a fiery halo hanging above her head. It makes her look strong, powerful, just as I’ve always seen her.

  “You’re so fucking perfect,” I whisper. My eyes catch on her already pebbled nipples and lean forward, taking one into my mouth, sucking greedily on the stiff peak. I’m not as hesitant and careful as I was last time. I don’t think I have to be anymore. There is more trust between us now than there was before. While I swirl my tongue against her nipple, I knead the flesh of her other breast, listening as she mewls like a cat beneath me.

  Fuck, my cock is already hard again, and I’d bet a million dollars right now that she’s drenched, her arousal coating the inside of her thighs.

  Releasing her breast with a pop, I listen to her displeased whimper and I can’t help but smile. “I want to taste you, make you come with my mouth, feel your pulse against my tongue. I know last time you said—”

  “It’s okay,” she interrupts me. “I want that too, I’m okay now.”

  I place a chaste kiss against her mouth once before I slowly start blazing a path of fire with open-mouthed kisses down her body. Paying special attention to the delicate skin on her neck, breasts and the part of her ribs that I know she is ticklish in. Soft giggles fill the room and her hands land on my shoulders, pushing me down playfully.

  “Don’t worry, that’s where I was going,” I murmur into her skin as I continue my way south, planting even more open mouth kisses around her hip and lower belly until I reach my destination. Nestling between her thighs, I’m like a kid on Christmas morning getting my first up-close look of her pretty pink pussy. I let my nostrils flare, and nuzzle my nose against her cunt, the sweet smell of her arousal shooting straight to my cock.

  Fuck me. I’ve never smelt something so decadent. It takes everything in me not to drive right in, to suck that hard little nub between her folds into my mouth. Reigning myself in, I grip onto her thighs and part her legs even farther, making note of the arousal that glistens against her folds and thighs.

  “Your pussy smells good enough to eat…” I purr, placing a kiss on the inside of her thigh.

  “Then eat it…” She pants, sitting up on her elbows, clearly trying to get a better view. I peek up at her over her mound, meeting her darkened eyes before I lower my face and drag my tongue right over that bundle of nerves that I know will send her into a frenzy. She doesn’t disappoint me, her back arched off the mattress and a moan escapes her lips as I feast on her like I’m a starving man and like she’s my last meal, I suck on her clit.

  Her hands find my hair, her nails raking over my scalp as I keep worshipping her pussy like it’s the holy grail. Her moans turn louder and her trembling thighs squeeze together. I know she is close and the thought of having her cum on my tongue has my cock painfully hard.

  “Please… stop,” she moans, and I stop what I’m doing, even though I’m thoroughly confused. She wants me to stop? Shit, did I misread her that much? I look over her mound directly into her flushed face.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes, I want you,” she pants, confusing me even further. “I want you inside of me… now,” she purrs, licking her lips.

  “Are you sure?” I have to make fucking sure she wan
ts this.

  Her hands land on my shoulders, pulling me up toward her. “Yes, please…” I didn’t think my cock could get any harder than it already is, but shit, her words make it happen.

  Knowing that I can’t control myself being on top right now, I crawl up the bed and sit down next to her. With my back leaning against the headboard, I pull her onto my lap so she is straddling me.

  “You want my cock, you take it. Take what you want, at your pace.” I barely finish saying the words when she starts to lower herself onto the iron rod between my legs. The head of my dick makes contact with her wet folds and I almost come right then.

  “Fuck me…” I say under my breath.

  “I’m going to.” Her voice laced with unbridled desire.

  Resting my hands on her hips for nothing more than support, I give her full control. She plants her hands on my shoulders to steady herself, her tiny nails sinking into the flesh as she slowly positions herself, letting my dick glide through her pussy until my throbbing head is lined up with her entrance. Her eyes are locked with mine, her pupils so dilated there is only a sliver of light blue around them.

  “I love you,” she says as she impales herself on my length. My eyes roll to the back of my head and it takes everything inside me not to squeeze her hips as pleasure ripples through me. Like a fucking vise wrapped around my dick, she hugs me tightly, almost as if she was made for me. Something in my chest tightens, and I can’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around her and hugging her to my chest.

  “I love you, Emerson, so much, so fucking much. Thank you for giving me this piece of you.” I kiss her hair and release her. When she pulls away, I see tears in her eyes, but I know they aren’t tears of pain or sadness. They’re tears of joy. Slowly, she starts to move, and I watch through hooded eyes as inch after inch of my cock gets swallowed by her tightness. Every inch of my body hums with pleasure, my pulse pounding in my ears as she swivels her hips finding a rhythm that satisfies her.