Devoted To You

by S. S. Richards

  CHAPTER 10

  Alyssa

  We say our goodbyes right before I get out of his car. Happiness sparkles inside of me as I open the door to my house. “Grandma,” I call out her name, but she doesn't answer, and after searching for her in every room in the house, I realize that she is not here.

  A soft sigh escapes my lips as I stand in front of my washroom mirror, replaying his last sentence in my head. “We will keep doing this.” I still can’t believe he wants more just as much I do. Ever since we made love for the first time, we haven’t been able to be around each other without turning the moment into a sex session. I am astonished at the girl I turn into when we fuck. A side of me I didn’t even know existed, I obey to his orders like I’m his doll, his little pet. And as silly as it sounds, I keep wanting more of his possessiveness and his alluring charm. I never thought that I would ever have an affair with a man like him. I grew up watching romance movies and reading romance books and none of them ever introduced a character like Liam; possessive, dominant, and extremely desirable. Everything about him screamed, “I will fuck you up,” and somehow my stupid, horny self is committed to his actions. My body aches to please him, and my soul longs for his dominance. I am completely hooked. I crave him every time he brushes past me. I feel protected when I am curved in his strong arms. I can tell he loves my submission, and I have a strong fondness toward his possessiveness, and that is exactly what I call balance.

  I lift up my phone from the side table and dial my doctor’s number. Luckily, she is able to give me an appointment for four in the afternoon, and I know that by the time I take a shower and change into a pair of jeans and a shirt, I will have to miss the next bus. Crap. I put my hair in a ponytail when my phone beeps. I lift it off the side table and open my messages.

  Luke is on his way bringing you the Plan B pill. A smile slips my lips as I stupidly glance at my phone screen. What has gotten into me? Thank you. Can I ask for a favor? I hit the reply button and wait impatiently for him to reply, luckily only a matter of seconds until I receive his text, Shoot!

  Can I use him for a ride? I have an appointment with my doctor at 4 p.m. I always feel bad asking people for favors, somehow I always feel like I am being excessive and I always end up regretting it.

  Yes, you can use him. That’s what he is there for. I read his message before I throw the phone in my purse and get in the shower. Despite all the charming emotions he makes me feel when we are together, there is an undefinable dubious feeling that lives inside of me because as much as I hate admitting it to myself, I am still unable to fully read him, and I bet he can read me like an open book. I am not sure if it is his personality, or the sadness that darkens his eyes from time to time when we are together. Whatever that is about, I hope it is not caused because of me. I would hate to think that I am the source of his melancholy when everything about him drives every inch of sanity inside my body away, but in such a confounding way that I am addicted to it. It really sounds bad and obsessive but I can’t help it. I want to feel this, I want to live every moment with him like it is the last one, because deep down somewhere in the core of my heart, something keeps telling me this is not going to end good, but I won’t prevent myself from living these breathtaking moments with him. I refuse to end it.

  I peek through the living room’s window and as soon I see Luke’s car parked outside the house, I put my sneakers on, grab my purse, and push on the doorknob to make sure it’s locked. If Grandma was to come home to an unlocked door, she would probably have a heart attack, which is the last thing I would ever want to happen to her.

  “Hi, Luke, how’s it going?” I ask as I get in the back seat.

  “I’m very good, Alyssa, how about you?”

  “I am good, thanks! I was wondering if you could give me a ride to my doctor’s office.”

  “Of course, Mr. Adams already informed me.” He hands me the prescription and a bottle of water. “And this is from Mr. Adams.” Shame engulfs me as I thank him. This is the second time he’s handed me these pills, and I wonder what he even thinks of me. Not like he doesn’t know that I am sleeping with his boss, who happens to be my boss as well. Awkwardness arises as I take the pill, and I just had to say it. “This is awkward.” My voice is tiny.

  He throws half a smile and looks at me through the rear-view mirror. “Nothing is awkward, Alyssa. Don’t you worry about it.”

  I swallow hard and hesitate before I ask him my next question.

  “Is this very common?”

  He raises a brow. “What?”

  “For you to do this for Mr. Adams.”

  A chuckle escapes his mouth.

  “No, Alyssa, in fact, this is the first time I am doing this.” Hearing him say this feels like a caffeine buzz. Warmth fills my chest, knowing that maybe I could be a little too special to him. But again, worry snakes its way through me at the thought of what Sancha said last time she came to the office for a visit. She said I looked like someone, and despite the fact that I didn’t ask Liam about it, it still worries me and brings the uneasiness to my body. I swallow hard.

  “Luke, I heard someone say that I look like someone that Mr. Adams knows.” I pause. “Any idea who that might be?” I ask, hoping to get an answer.

  His expression is brooding, which only causes my blood to run cold. “Who told you that?” he asks firmly.

  “Sancha, she said I looked like her, and I was wondering who ‘her’ might be.” Awkward silence takes over. He doesn't respond to me, and his eyes are still gloomy. “It’s okay,” I say. “Forget about it.”

  “Can you keep a secret?”

  I nod without any hesitation.

  “You kind of look a lot like his mother,” he adds. “But she died, long time ago, that’s all I know. Mr. Adams really doesn't like to talk about it.”

  I look away, refraining from displaying the shock I felt as I studied his last sentence. His mother died? Is that the reason for his pain? Is that why his expression is strange every time we are together? I suddenly start feeling empty inside, the sadness crushes me. Maybe I am the reason for his despair, maybe looking at me reminded him of his mother. A feeling of pity and tenderness wells up in me.

  “Alyssa?”

  I draw my attention back to Luke. “Yes.” My voice is shaky.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, Luke, and don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” My chest is in my throat. I still can’t believe it. Even during my visit to the doctor, I kept thinking about it, over and over again. Now I don’t know how it’s going to feel when we have sex, I don’t know if I should keep this from him, the fact that I am aware that I look like his mother. I promised Luke not to say anything, but it is destroying me knowing that I can’t do anything about it.

  After Luke dropped me off, I was hoping Grandma would be at home as I unlocked the door. I need one of her warm hugs right this moment.

  “You’re home early, Alyssa.” Her voice is soft.

  I don’t say anything, instead I run and hug her, tears filling my eyes. I just feel like this is not good, something is not right, call it the sixth sense or a sign from the universe, I just cannot get my head out of the idea that something bad is gonna happen. My grandma grabs my head in the palm of her hands, looks me straight in the eyes, her wrinkly eyes look wide, she looks at me confused, worried like she knows damn well I am not okay.

  “Alyssa, tell me.”

  “I don’t know, Grandma, I am just...” I pause ‘cause it’s true, I have no idea what the hell is going on with me. “I think my period is coming soon,” I lie and start wiping my tears away. I cannot tell her, it is the last thing she needs. She is supposed to have a heart surgery as soon as possible and instead of shifting my focus on that in order not to lose my job, I have been sleeping with my boss, who happens to be the strangest man I have ever met, and today, I learn that I look exactly like his mom. Great, how more fucked up can it get? What has gotten into me? I don’t recognize myself anymore. I a
m a sinking ship because of him and because of how I feel about him, I will forever keep sinking as long as he stays in my life.

  “You are lying to me.” Her tone is serious, and she usually never pulls that tone unless she is worried or angry at me, I can’t lie to her, it is over for me, I am gonna have to tell her even if she is not going to let this go. “I just really like a guy, and I don’t know what is wrong with me,” I tell her half the truth, I still don’t have the courage to open my mouth and fully admit to her what I have been up to.

  “Did he break your heart?”

  “No,” I add. “Not yet, at least.” I sit on the couch while panic assails me at the thought of him breaking my heart. Like I didn’t know that that’s what happens when a girl like me falls for a man like him. I’ve read it in books, watched shit tons of movies about it, and it always ends bad, except in some stories where they end up living happily ever after, but the truth is, that shit doesn’t exist in real life and this is not a book, this is my life that I am putting on the line. Let’s face it, he’s been having sex with me while I know absolutely nothing about him and he knows nothing about me, or maybe he does but I know for sure that he is a stranger to me, and figuring out that I resembled his mother is just the cherry on top. I am tangled in a web with no way to escape.

  “Anyway, it is not important, Grandma. Just a couple thousand dollars, and we can get your surgery done, that’s what’s important.”

  She sits right in front me, and I could tell from her fierce look that the anger rolled through her.

  “Don’t you dare change the subject, this is not about me, this is about you, you don’t look good to me, Alyssa, and I have been thinking about it for days.” She pauses. “There is something off about you.” I knew it, she knows me too well. After all, she was the one who raised me and made sure I always took care of myself. She taught me how to never let anyone take advantage of me. But here I am, being submissive to a man who has total control over me and who exercises control with a simple word. He can get me undressed within a matter of seconds, and get me to pleasure him with one simple glance. She warned me about men like Liam, and who did I end up falling for? Him. I hold her shaky hands.

  “Don’t worry, Grandma, it’s okay, I will be okay,” I say with a tiny voice. I nod and she lets it go, she knows I don’t have the energy to deal with all of this. “I am just gonna take a quick nap and I will come downstairs to help you make dinner is that alright?” She nods but I can tell she is unhappy, I can tell she had way more questions to ask me about this guy that I happen to be in love with.

  As soon as I get upstairs, I lock the door behind me. I am not actually trying to sleep. I am trying to find a way to speak to him about this, about us. I can’t keep hooking up with him. I am not used to this lifestyle. I never even had sex before I met him, how can I keep hooking up with him without knowing where this is all going? And especially after I learned what I learned today. That I look like his mother. As much as I don’t like to admit it to myself, it still sounds fucked up. It's a gray area that I need explanation for. I look at the time. It is 6:00 p.m. After a long hour of digging into my thoughts and trying to find the best way to speak to him about this, I decide to text him.

  We need to talk. I write and erase it. It sounds too harsh and I don’t want him to be worried. I would like to speak to you whenever you are not busy, if that’s okay. I hit the send button as quickly as I can, that way I don’t have to rethink it all and end up erasing the text message once again. I place the phone right in front of me as I sit cross-legged in front of it. I bring my hands to my head and stare at the phone, hoping to get a response as soon as possible. About five minutes later, my phone beeps. I lift it up and open the text instantly.

  Sure. What’s up? His answer is quick and firm.

  Preferably in person. I don’t like to do things over text. I reply back. And it is true, I hate discussing important subjects over the phone. Even when I have gossip or news to tell Jason, I either call him or ask to meet him. But whatever I am about to discuss with Liam is way too important for a phone conversation. I just know I gotta do this face to face.

  Liam

  I look at my phone and read her last text. I really don’t have time for whatever she wants to discuss with me. I am in my home office waiting for Will to get here to discuss with me what he knows about this Eric Janovski guy who I have a meeting with in less than two hours. My dad walks into the office along with Will and two of his men.

  “Hi, son.” I don’t reply to my dad, instead I just nod to both of them. They take a seat across from my desk while the two body guards stand outside.

  “Mr. Adams, I got all the information you asked for about Eric Janovski,” he says firmly.

  “Before you start, Will…” I face my dad. “Have you ever heard anything about Eric Janovski?”

  “No, Liam, this is the first time I’ve heard name.”

  I look at Will and nod my head so he could continue telling me about this guy.

  “So he seems to be the very big guy, the head of everything.”

  I lean back in my chair and cross one leg over the other. My eyes darken. “Continue,” I instruct.

  “Known for being a heartless bastard, he is fifty-six years old, and he apparently has been the head of everything for years.” I raise a brow and before I say a word, Will continues. “I know what you are about to say, Mr. Adams. The reason why he never popped up before is because his name is not on anything. He knows what he is doing.”

  I turn to face my dad whose eyes widen, fear clutching at his throat.

  “I promise I have no clue who this guy is, Liam. Last time we spoke on the phone I told you they were going to email me the details.” He clears his throat. “I never received any email besides the one that we were both copied on,” he adds.

  I look at the time on my phone, ignoring Alyssa’s text. 7:30 p.m. sharp.

  “Should we get going?” I ask, and they both nod. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. Not because I am scared, but because whatever these people want from me, needs to end today.

  We head to the location. Will makes sure we bring enough men to provide enough security. The meeting is in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. No cell service in the area which means no GPS. If it wasn’t for Will, I don’t think I would ever be able to get to this place. As soon as we get there, I notice five cars parked in front of the warehouse, all pitch black. My team and I brought three cars. I adjust my tie right before I enter the warehouse where we are introduced to five men. Big, Russian-looking guys with guns. They make sure we have nothing on us, and they take our cellular devices. One of them leads us to where the meeting is being held: a room where only three men are sitting with five bodyguards around them. I swallow hard before I take a seat at the table. All three of us take seats facing the three men while my bodyguards stand at the door. It feels like I am in a movie, an action movie where shit is about to get real, except that this is not a movie. This is all real.

  “Welcome,” says a man sitting right in front of me, looking exactly how Will described him, old with snappy, bright eyes, dressed in an expensive suit while the men sitting right next to him are dressed in jeans and dark brown, leather jackets.

  “Eric Janovski,” I say before he introduces himself. He nods his approval with a smug face.

  “Get to the point, please, I don’t have much time,” I say with a neutral expression.

  He nods, once again, with half a smile on his face. “I thought we had mentioned it before, we want D.E. Adams Inc.”

  A sarcastic laugh escapes my mouth. “And I thought we had mentioned it before, that is not going to happen,” I say firmly.

  “We have given you guys enough time to figure out something else,” says Will.

  “Yes, you did.” He puts his arms on the table and clenches his hands together. “But I thought about it, and I came to the conclusion that for what your dad did,” he pauses, “it is only fair for you guys to give the
company to us.”

  My face contorts with rage as my eyes blacken. “Whatever deal you had with my dad that he didn’t respect is not my fucking problem. The company is mine now, and there is no way you are taking that away from me,” I bite, and all Janovski does is smile bitterly.

  “I figured, Liam.” He pauses. “You know we would have loved to do business with you; you seem way smarter than your dad.” He points at my dad, who doesn't respond. He is looking down, regret sitting in his stomach for getting involved with these people.

  “So what now?” I say, my voice colder than ice.

  He nods to the guy sitting on his left side who lifts up an envelope that’s sitting right next to him. He hands it to me and I look at both him and Eric.

  “What the fuck is this?” I hiss at him.

  “I suggest you open it.”

  My mouth drops as I open the envelope and lift up whatever is inside. The uneasiness sweeps over me, and my hands start wobbling as I look at the photos, one after the other. Only a matter of seconds till my shock wears off and is replaced by anger. My eyes grow larger as I stare into her photos. They have been following her, following us, together. There are about thirty photos of Alyssa, some in the restaurant with her friend, some with her grandmother, others of her alone, and most are with me.