The Duchess of Malfi

by Frank Kermode

  98. Fraught.

  99. Swiss physician and alchemist.

  100. Censorious fellow.

  101. Cockatrix = basilisk.

  102. Cut a caper.

  103. Skeletons.

  104. Perfumed sugarplums, to sweeten the breath.

  105. I don’t understand courtly manners.

  106. Confidant.

  107. Attendants.

  108. i.e., In earnest.

  109. Mistake.

  110. Do incredible deeds.

  THE CHANGELING

  THOMAS MIDDLETON

  WITH WILLIAM ROWLEY

  DRAMATIS PERSONAE

  VERMANDERO, father to BEATRICE

  TOMASO DE PIRACQUO, a noble lord

  ALONZO DE PIRACQUO, his brother, suitor to BEATRICE

  ALSEMERO, a nobleman, afterward married to BEATRICE

  JASPERINO, his friend

  ALIBIUS, a jealous doctor

  LOLLIO, his man

  PEDRO, friend to Antonio

  ANTONIO, the Changeling

  FRANCISCUS, the counterfeit madman

  DE FLORES, servant to VERMANDERO

  MADMEN

  SERVANTS

  BEATRICE-JOANNA, daughter to VERMANDERO

  DIAPHANTA, her waiting-woman

  ISABELLA, wife to Alibius

  THE CHANGELING

  ACT I, SCENE I

  Enter Alsemero

  ALS. ’Twas in the temple where I first beheld her,

  And now again the same: what omen yet

  Follows of that? none but imaginary;

  Why should my hopes or fate be timorous?

  The place is holy, so is my intent:

  I love her beauties to the holy purpose;

  And that, methinks, admits comparison

  With man’s first creation, the place blessèd,

  And is his right home back,1 if he achieve it.

  The church hath first begun our interview,2

  And that’s the place must join us into one;

  So there’s beginning and perfection3 too.

  Enter Jasperino

  JAS. O sir, are you here? come, the wind’s fair with you;

  You’re like to have a swift and pleasant passage.

  ALS. Sure, you’re deceived, friend, it is contrary,

  In my best judgment.

  JAS. What, for Malta?

  If you could buy a gale amongst the witches,

  They could not serve you such a lucky pennyworth

  As comes a’ God’s name.

  ALS. Even now I observed

  The temple’s vane to turn full in my face;

  I know it is against me.

  JAS. Against you?

  Then you know not where you are.

  ALS. Not well, indeed.

  JAS. Are you not well, sir?

  ALS. Yes, Jasperino,

  Unless there be some hidden malady

  Within me, that I understand not.

  JAS. And that

  I begin to doubt,4 sir: I never knew

  Your inclination to travel at a pause,

  With any cause to hinder it, till now.

  Ashore you were wont to call your servants up,

  And help to trap5 your horses for the speed;

  At sea I’ve seen you weigh the anchor with ’em,

  Hoist sails for fear to lose the foremost breath,

  Be in continual prayers for fair winds;

  And have you changed your orisons?

  ALS. No, friend;

  I keep the same church, same devotion.

  JAS. Lover I’m sure you’re none; the stoic was

  Found in you long ago; your mother nor

  Best friends, who have set snares of beauty, ay,

  And choice ones too, could never trap you that way:

  What might be the cause?

  ALS. Lord, how violent

  Thou art! I was but meditating of

  Somewhat I heard within the temple.

  JAS. Is this

  Violence? ’tis but idleness compared

  With your haste yesterday.

  ALS. I’m all this while

  A-going, man.

  JAS. Backwards, I think, sir. Look, your servants.

  Enter Servants

  1ST SER. The seamen call; shall we board your trunks?

  ALS. No, not to-day.

  JAS. ’Tis the critical day, it seems, and the sign in Aquarius.6

  2ND SER. We must not to sea to-day; this smoke will bring forth fire.

  ALS. Keep all on shore; I do not know the end,

  Which needs I must do, of an affair in hand

  Ere I can go to sea.

  1ST SER. Well, your pleasure.

  2ND SER. Let him e’en take his leisure too; we are safer on land.

  Exeunt Servants

  Enter Beatrice, Diaphanta, and Servants; Alsemero accosts Beatrice and then kisses her

  JAS. [Aside] How now? the laws of the Medes7 are changed sure; salute a woman! he kisses too; wonderful! where learnt he this? and does it perfectly too; in my conscience, he ne’er rehearsed it before. Nay, go on; this will be stranger and better news at Valencia than if he had ransomed half Greece from the Turk.

  BEAT. You are a scholar, sir?

  ALS. A weak one, lady.

  BEAT. Which of the sciences is this love you speak of?

  ALS. From your tongue I take it to be music.

  BEAT. You’re skilful in it, can sing at first sight.

  ALS. And I have showed you all my skill at once;

  I want more words to express me further,

  And must be forced to repetition;

  I love you dearly.

  BEAT. Be better advised, sir:

  Our eyes are sentinels unto our judgments,

  And should give certain judgment what they see;

  But they are rash sometimes, and tell us wonders

  Of common things, which when our judgments find,

  They can then check the eyes, and call them blind.

  ALS. But I am further, lady; yesterday

  Was mine eyes’ employment, and hither now

  They brought my judgment, where are both agreed:

  Both houses then consenting, ’tis agreed;

  Only there wants the confirmation

  By the hand royal, that is your part, lady.

  BEAT. There’s one above me, sir. [Aside]—O, for five days past

  To be recalled! sure mine eyes were mistaken;

  This was the man was meant me: that he should come

  So near his time, and miss it!

  JAS. We might have come by the carriers from Valencia,

  I see, and saved all our sea-provision; we are at farthest8 sure:

  methinks I should do something too;

  I mean to be a venturer9 in this voyage:

  Yonder’s another vessel, I’ll board her;

  If she be lawful prize, down goes her topsail.

  [Accosts Diaphanta]

  Enter De Flores

  DE F. Lady, your father—

  BEAT. Is in health, I hope.

  DE F. Your eye shall instantly instruct you, lady;

  He’s coming hitherward.

  BEAT. What needed then

  Your duteous preface? I had rather

  He had come unexpected; you must stale

  A good presence with unnecessary blabbing;

  And how welcome for your part you are,

  I’m sure you know.

  DE F. [Aside] Will’t never mend, this scorn,

  One side nor other? must I be enjoined

  To follow still whilst she flies from me? well,

  Fates, do your worst, I’ll please myself with sight

  Of her at all opportunities,

  If but to spite her anger: I know she had

  Rather see me dead than living; and yet

  She knows no cause for’t but a peevish will.

  ALS. You seem displeasèd, lady, on the sudden.

  BEAT. Your pardon, sir
, ’tis my infirmity;

  Nor can I other reason render you,

  Than his or hers, of some particular thing

  They must abandon as a deadly poison,

  Which to a thousand other tastes were wholesome;

  Such to mine eyes is that same fellow there,

  The same that report speaks of the basilisk.10

  ALS. This is a frequently frailty in our nature;

  There’s scarce a man amongst a thousand found

  But hath his imperfection: one distastes

  The scent of roses, which to infinites

  Most pleasing is and odoriferous;

  One oil, the enemy of poison;

  Another wine, the cheerer of the heart

  And lively refresher of the countenance:

  Indeed this fault, if so it be, is general;

  There’s scarce a thing but is both loved and loathed:

  Myself, I must confess, have the same frailty.

  BEAT. And what may be your poison, sir? I’m bold with you.

  ALS. What might be your desire, perhaps; a cherry.

  BEAT. I am no enemy to any creature

  My memory has, but yon gentleman.

  ALS. He does ill to tempt your sight, if he knew it.

  BEAT. He cannot be ignorant of that, sir,

  I have not spared to tell him so; and I want11

  To help myself, since he’s a gentleman

  In good respect with my father, and follows him.

  ALS. He’s out of his place then now.

  [They talk apart]

  JAS. I am a mad wag, wench.

  DIA. So methinks; but for your comfort, I can tell you, we have a doctor in the city that undertakes the cure of such.

  JAS. Tush, I know what physic is best for the state of mine own body.

  DIA. ’Tis scarce a well-governed state, I believe.

  JAS. I could show thee such a thing with an ingredience that we two would compound together, and if it did not tame the maddest blood i’ th’ town for two hours after, I’ll ne’er profess physic again.

  DIA. A little poppy, sir, were good to cause you sleep.

  JAS. Poppy? I’ll give thee a pop i’ th’ lips for that first, and begin there: poppy is one simple12 indeed, and cuckoo-what-you-call’t another: I’ll discover13 no more now; another time I’ll show thee all.

  Exit

  BEAT. My father, sir.

  Enter Vermandero and Servants

  VER. O Joanna, I came to meet thee;

  Your devotion’s ended?

  BEAT. For this time, sir.—

  [Aside] I shall change my saint, I fear me; I find

  A giddy turning in me.—Sir, this while

  I am beholden to this gentleman, who

  Left his own way to keep me company,

  And in discourse I find him much desirous

  To see your castle; he hath deserved it, sir,

  If ye please to grant it.

  VER. With all my heart, sir:

  Yet there’s an article between; I must know

  Your country; we use not to give survey

  Of our chief strengths to strangers; our citadels

  Are placed conspicuous to outward view,

  On promonts’14 tops, but within our secrets.

  ALS. A Valencian, sir.

  VER. A Valencian?

  That’s native, sir: of what name, I beseech you?

  ALS. Alsemero, sir.

  VER. Alsemero? not the son

  Of John de Alsemero?

  ALS. The same, sir.

  VER. My best love bids you welcome.

  BEAT. He was wont

  To call me so, and then he speaks a most

  Unfeignèd truth.

  VER. O sir, I knew your father;

  We two were in acquaintance long ago,

  Before our chins were worth iulan15 down,

  And so continued till the stamp of time

  Had coined us into silver: well, he’s gone;

  A good soldier went with him.

  ALS. You went together in that, sir.

  VER. No, by Saint Jacques,16 I came behind him;

  Yet I’ve done somewhat too: an unhappy day

  Swallowed him at last at Gibraltar,

  In fight with those rebellious Hollanders;

  Was it not so?

  ALS. Whose death I had revenged,

  Or followed him in fate, had not the late league17

  Prevented me.

  VER. Ay, ay, ’twas time to breathe.—

  O Joanna, I should ha’ told thee news;

  I saw Piracquo lately.

  BEAT. [Aside] That’s ill news.

  VER. He’s hot preparing for this day of triumph:

  Thou must be a bride within this sevennight.

  ALS. [Aside] Ha!

  BEAT. Nay, good sir, be not so violent; with speed

  I cannot render satisfaction

  Unto the dear companion of my soul,

  Virginity, whom I thus long have lived with,

  And part with it so rude and suddenly;

  Can such friends divide, never to meet again,

  Without a solemn farewell?

  VER. Tush, tush! there’s a toy.18

  ALS. [Aside] I must now part, and never meet again

  With any joy on earth.—Sir, your pardon;

  My affairs call on me.

  VER. How, sir? by no means:

  Not changed so soon, I hope? you must see my castle,

  And her best entertainment, e’er we part,

  I shall think myself unkindly used else.

  Come, come, let’s on; I had good hope your stay

  Had been a while with us in Alicant;

  I might have bid you to my daughter’s wedding.

  ALS. [Aside] He means to feast me, and poisons me beforehand.—

  I should be dearly glad to be there, sir,

  Did my occasions suit as I could wish.

  BEAT. I shall be sorry if you be not there

  When it is done, sir; but not so suddenly.

  VER. I tell you, sir, the gentleman’s complete,

  A courtier and a gallant, enriched

  With many fair and noble ornaments;

  I would not change him for a son-in-law

  For any he in Spain, the proudest he,

  And we have great ones, that you know.

  ALS. He’s much

  Bound to you, sir.

  VER. He shall be bound to me

  As fast as this tie can hold him; I’ll want

  My will else.

  BEAT. [Aside] I shall want mine, if you do it.

  VER. But come, by the way I’ll tell you more of him.

  ALS. [Aside] How shall I dare to venture in his castle,

  When he discharges murderers19 at the gate?

  But I must on, for back I cannot go.

  BEAT. [Aside] Not this serpent gone yet?

  [Drops a glove]

  VER. Look, girl, thy glove’s fallen.

  Stay, stay; De Flores, help a little.

  Exeunt Vermandero, Alsemero, and Servants

  DE F. Here, lady.

  [Offers her the glove]

  BEAT. Mischief on your officious forwardness;

  Who bade you stoop? they touch my hand no more:

  There! for the other’s sake I part with this;

  [Takes off and throws down the other glove]

  Take ’em, and draw thine own skin off with ’em!

  Exit with Diaphanta and Servants

  DE F. Here’s a favor come with a mischief now! I know

  She had rather wear my pelt20 tanned in a pair

  Of dancing pumps, than I should thrust my fingers

  Into her sockets here. I know she hates me,

  Yet cannot choose but love her: no matter,

  If but to vex her, I will haunt her still;

  Though I get nothing else, I’ll have my will.

  Exit

  SCENE II

  Enter Alibius and Lollio


  ALIB. Lollio, I must trust thee with a secret,

  But thou must keep it.

  LOL. I was ever close to a secret, sir.

  ALIB. The diligence that I have found in thee,

  The care and industry already past,

  Assures me of thy good continuance.

  Lollio, I have a wife.

  LOL. Fie, sir, ’tis too late to keep her secret; she’s known to be married all the town and country over.

  ALIB. Thou goest too fast, my Lollio; that knowledge

  I allow no man can be barred it;

  But there is a knowledge which is nearer,

  Deeper, and sweeter, Lollio.

  LOL. Well, sir, let us handle that between you and I.

  ALIB. ’Tis that I go about, man: Lollio,

  My wife is young.

  LOL. So much the worse to be kept secret, sir.

  ALIB. Why, now thou meet’st the substance of the point;

  I am old, Lollio.

  LOL. No, sir, ’tis I am old Lollio.

  ALIB. Yet why may not these concord and sympathise?

  Old trees and young plants often grow together,

  Well enough agreeing.

  LOL. Ay, sir, but the old trees raise themselves higher and broader than

  the young plants.

  ALIB. Shrewd application!21 there’s the fear, man;

  I would wear my ring on my own finger;

  Whilst it is borrowed, it is none of mine,

  But his that useth it.

  LOL. You must keep it on still then; if it but lie by, one or other will be thrusting into’t.

  ALIB. Thou conceiv’st me, Lollio; here thy watchful eye

  Must have employment; I cannot always be

  At home.

  LOL. I dare swear you cannot.

  ALIB. I must look out.

  LOL. I know’t, you must look out, ’tis every man’s case.

  ALIB. Here, I do say, must thy employment be;

  To watch her treadings, and in my absence

  Supply my place.

  LOL. I’ll do my best, sir; yet surely I cannot see who you should have cause to be jealous of.

  ALIB. Thy reason for that, Lollio? it is

  A comfortable question.

  LOL. We have but two sorts of people in the house, and both under the whip, that’s fools22 and madmen; the one has not wit enough to be knaves, and the other not knavery enough to be fools.

  ALIB. Ay, those are all my patients, Lollio;

  I do profess the cure of either sort,

  My trade, my living ’tis, I thrive by it;

  But here’s the care that mixes with my thrift;

  The daily visitants, that come to see

  My brain-sick patients, I would not have

  To see my wife: gallants I do observe

  Of quick enticing eyes, rich in habits,