by J. A. Owenby
“You’re going to make me come. Your cock fucking my wet pussy is so good. Don’t stop,” I whispered against his ear. “You know you’ve wanted to pound that big dick of yours inside me all day. Make me come on you.”
“Claire,” he groaned, bucking his hips wildly.
I dug my fingernails into the soft down comforter, praying I could stay quiet as black dots floated across my vision, and I released with him.
I collapsed on top of him, gasping. His heart thundered in my ear, and I grinned. For the first time all day, I felt as though I was really home.
“You should write erotica.” Vaughn chuckled and kissed my head. “Something tells me you’d be good at it.”
I sat up and eased off him. “Maybe I’ll give it a try.” My nose wrinkled. “It smells like sex in here.”
“Amazing sex, might I add, but you’re right. If anyone knocks on the door, the second we open it … we’re busted.”
“Let’s take a quick shower. The scent of my citrus body wash should help.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bed.
He towered over me and tugged me against him. “Today was hell, and I hated it. I’m not saying that to pressure you into telling Pierce and Sutton. I just wanted to tell you what it was like.”
“Me, too.” I pushed up on my tiptoes and kissed him. “At least we have the nights.”
“About that …” Sadness twisted his handsome features.
“What is it?” I didn’t really want to know.
“I might have to leave with Pierce for a few weeks on business, but he’s not sure yet.”
Tears welled in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. “No. No. Goddammit, Vaughn. No.”
It was too much; the thought of not being with Vaughn sent me over the edge. Sobs wracked my body as a tidal wave of emotions crashed down on me.
“I’m not going anywhere yet, babe.” He smoothed my hair while I cried against him. “If it happens, we can come forward and talk to him. I’ll tell him I won’t leave you. Not now.”
“I want to go, Vaughn. One minute, I’m all right, then the next, I’m a fucking mess. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering when they’ll find me. We all know it’s just a matter of time. I …” I hiccupped through the tears and glanced up at him.
He smoothed the hair from my face. “Let’s get cleaned up and crawl into bed. It’s been a hard day. We can talk about it in the morning.”
My brows knitted together in confusion. “Have you changed your mind?” I asked, my chin trembling.
“No. No, babe, I haven’t. I just want to make sure it’s what you want.”
“Okay.”
After a shower, we slid under the covers, and I snuggled up against him. The steady beat of his heart lulled me to sleep, and for a few hours, I allowed myself to dream of happier days with him.
20
The next month passed by in slow motion. There wasn’t any movement on Dillon Montgomery’s part, but more files had been deciphered. The FBI was finally gathering information that would put Dillon Montgomery in prison for three lifetimes.
Summer had also slipped away, and hints of autumn were in the mid-September air. Sutton had mentioned that the October temperatures dipped fast. I hadn’t left the house in weeks, but today she’d arranged for the Nordstrom store in Seattle to close for a few hours. I couldn’t wait to get out of the house. I had cabin fever, and I was about to lose my mind. Gemma and Mac, along with Vaughn and Zayne, would also go. The guys would accompany us everywhere, except for the dressing room.
“Are you ready?” Sutton asked when I’d arrived in the kitchen. “The girls will meet us at the airport. They’ve gotten out more than you have, but they’re very excited to get out for a while and have some shopping therapy.”
“Me too. I can’t thank you enough. It will be good to see them.” I grabbed a stainless-steel cup and filled it with coffee, then topped off with peppermint mocha creamer. Gemma and I had texted a lot over the last few weeks, but we didn’t discuss anything concerning Dillon or Vaughn. We agreed it would be safer to talk in person, but the problem was that Mac didn’t know, which meant it would be difficult to hold a conversation about Vaughn.
Since I was hot and cold about running and hiding, I needed to talk with Gemma. If it wasn’t Mac, someone else was always around us, and I couldn’t ask for her opinion.
An hour and a half later, Gemma, Mac, Sutton, the guys, and I all settled in on the plane. Every time I was here, I was taken aback with all the luxury. Leather, oak cabinets, a couch, plush carpet, and the breathtaking bedroom.
Zayne and Vaughn focused their attention on the pilot since Pierce’s normal one wasn’t available. According to Sutton, Pierce had used this guy before, and he’d been well vetted by several of his wealthy friends. At this point in the game, I didn’t trust anyone, no matter how well they’d been checked into.
Gemma and Mac sat across from Sutton and me. The way the seats were positioned, we were able to face each other, which made speaking much more comfortable.
“This timing is perfect,” Gemma said, smiling at me. “I talked to Hendrix about bringing you on as the choreographer and dancer for August Clover, and he’s all in. He was thrilled to find someone that we already trust.” Gemma’s voice hitched. “Especially now.”
“What?” Sutton gasped, elbowing me in the side. “You never mentioned this!”
“It was a conversation we had the night the girls came over and crashed out at your place. You and Pierce were gone. With all the commotion, I’d forgotten to mention it. I showed Mac and Gemma the studio, and I was messing around dancing.”
“She’s amazing,” Mac added, grinning. “Of course, you already knew that.”
“I did.” Sutton returned Mac’s infections smile, then faced me, “You can definitely choregraph, but joining the dancers on tour might have to wait for a bit.”
My heart plummeted to my toes.
“I’m sorry, Claire. I’ve not seen you to talk it through yet. I figured this would be a good time, but Sutton is right. Until Dillon is removed from the picture, none of us are safe to travel.”
“Oh, had you and Hendrix not discussed it when Claire spent the night at your place?”
I gulped, nearly choking on my spit.
Gemma frowned. “I’m not following.”
“While Pierce and I were gone?” Sutton scooted on the edge of her seat, her shoulders rigid with tension.
Gemma glanced at me, but so did Sutton, and I wasn’t able to give her a signal to cover for me. Fuck. No. No. No. I’d never called her to see if she would provide a cover story the night I was with Vaughn on our date. I hadn’t had the heart to ask her to lie, and now it was going to blow up in my face.
Surprisingly, Mac bit her lip, remained silent, and watched it all go down.
“She’s not been to our house yet,” Gemma added.
Bam!
Sutton whipped her head around to me, her nose flaring slightly. “Oh, I must have misunderstood. No biggie.”
“Excuse me for a minute.” I released my seatbelt and made my way to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I paced the small space, cursing under my breath. What was I going to tell Sutton? I couldn’t lie again, but this would be a huge deal for her to find out now. All I had wanted was to have a good day out with my friends and leave all the shit behind me. Sutton may have pretended she’d misunderstood, but I knew my sister—shit would hit the fan when we got home. She was well aware that I’d lied to her, and she wouldn’t let it go until I confessed.
I turned on the cold water and splashed my cheeks. With everyone around, I wouldn’t be able to warn Vaughn, either. Fuck! I slammed the palms of my hands against the granite countertop, welcoming the sting of the pain.
Flipping the latch on the door, I opened it to find my sister waiting for me. Her manicured eyebrow rose, and she folded her arms over her chest. “I won’t bring this up in front of our friends, but when we get home, you have some serious
explaining to do.”
I held her stare, refusing to back down, but inside, I was crumbling. “I know.” And with that, I left her standing alone and returned to Gemma and Mac.
“I fucked up, didn’t I?” Gemma asked as I passed her and settled into my seat again.
“No. You didn’t. I did. It’s okay. I can handle my sister.” I might have spoken the words, but I didn’t believe it for a second. Sutton and I had always been each other’s weak spots. We loved each other fiercely, but with that came trust, and I’d broken it.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Gemma’s face filled with sadness. “I feel like I just added to the shit storm.”
“In no way is this on you. I promise. I’m just thrilled we’re getting out of the house and shopping. Let’s enjoy the day together. I think we all need it,” I said.
“Amen,” Mac added. “In fact, doesn’t it seem as though mimosas are in order?”
“Yum! Yes, great idea.” I stood, looking at Gemma. “Do you want one?”
“Or four!” She giggled.
We all made our way toward the conference room, where a fully stocked bar awaited us.
“We should just hang out in here,” Mac said, plopping down in a seat at the table.
“Agreed. Tell me about this Nordstrom location while I make the drinks.”
The girls chatted about the mall and Seattle for the next hour. It lightened my mood, and by the time we landed, I was determined not to let the slip-up ruin my day.
Exhausted from shopping, I slid into the back of the Mercedes and sat next to Sutton. Vaughn drove while Zayne sat in the front passenger’s seat. My anxiety hummed beneath my skin.
“I’ve waited all day, so I’m ready for an explanation about where you were the night you didn’t answer your phone. Was it even on silent?” Sutton’s tone was accusatory, and I couldn’t blame her.
I stared straight ahead, not missing Vaughn’s pinched expression in the rearview mirror.
“Yes. It really was on mute. I would never purposefully scare anyone.” I leaned my head against the cold glass of the window and pretended the conversation wasn’t going down.
“Claire, what the hell? Talk to me.” Sutton flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder, her blue eyes flashing with anger.
I stared at her. “Are you sure you want the truth?” If she did. I would tell her.
“Yeah, I do. Tell me where you were that night.”
“I was getting my brains fucked out.” I internally cringed with the harshness of my tone.
“Jesus, Claire. Are you kidding me? Who do you even know here to …”
“I have needs, Sutton. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have sex anytime you want it? I do. I dated a guy in an MC. Getting horny doesn’t just stop because you broke up with someone.”
“I don’t even know what to say to you right now.” Shocked, Sutton leaned back in her seat.
My attention returned to the backseat window, my insides shaking.
“Who was it?”
Appalled, I narrowed my gaze at her. “Really? Did you tell me who your one-night stands were after Pierce left you high and dry? I realize you’re my sister, but my sexual appetite, and who I’m with, isn’t something I share. I don’t care who you are.” My heart pounded against my chest. I hadn’t lied to her. I just hadn’t named Vaughn.
She tossed her hands up in surrender. “You’re right. You’re grown.” She sank into her seat.
I’d hurt her, and it took everything inside me to not blurt out the entire truth, but this wasn’t something I could do without talking to Vaughn first. This needed to be done together. We’d already agreed on that.
An awkward silence filled the car the rest of the ride home. One thing was for sure—I felt like shit.
Vaughn pulled into the driveway, and Sutton hopped out of the backseat the minute the vehicle stopped. I flinched as she slammed the door.
Zayne faced me, his attention bouncing between Vaughn and me. “That was half of the truth, now you two better get your heads out of your asses and tell them the rest of it.”
“It’s not that easy,” I muttered under my breath.
“Sure it is,” Zayne replied. “Open your mouth and let the words come out.”
I sat up ramrod straight, growing more and more defensive with Zayne for telling me when and how I should talk to my sister and brother-in-law. “And what if Pierce fires Vaughn? What if they try to keep us apart?”
“Pierce won’t fire him. It won’t be a big ol’ party, but he won’t let him go over this.” He shook his head for emphasis.
“I’ll meet you in the house, Zayne. I need to talk to Claire,” Vaughn said, his voice gruff.
“I’m coming up front.” I jumped out of the back and rounded the vehicle. Zayne held open the door for me.
“I’m sorry. I never meant for it to get this far,” I said to Zayne, tucked my hair behind my ear, then got into the passenger’s seat.
A thick silence hung in the air.
“Are you mad at me for what I said to Sutton?” I asked.
“No.” Vaughn turned toward me. “I just don’t know what happened. I nearly ran off the road when you told her you were out getting fucked that night.”
“Shit. I thought if I was crude about it, she wouldn’t ask a million questions.” I sighed and leaned my head back on the headrest. “As you know, Gemma wasn’t aware that I’d used her as cover when we had stayed at your place, and it slipped that I’d never been to her house before.”
“Dammit.” Vaughn stared out the front window, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “What do you want to do? Are we staying in Spokane, or are we leaving?”
My gut twisted into a million knots. I wasn’t ready to make a decision, much less the one I was leaning toward. I’d thought about it the entire day, and it had fucking gutted me.
“Stay,” I whispered.
“Then we will talk to Pierce.”
“There’s no need to.” Big tears flowed down my cheeks.
A conflicted look painted his face; an abundant array of different emotions stared back at me. “No, don’t say it, Claire.” He shook his head. “I love you.”
“It’s the only way. I love you, Vaughn.” I pressed my hand to my chest and rubbed away the pain that had settled there. “I love you,” I cried, my body trembling with the impact that my words were about to have. “But I can’t continue to do this, and I can’t stand the thought of either one of us losing Pierce and Sutton. I’m walking away from us.”
Vaughn slammed his hand onto the dashboard. “No. Goddammit, Claire. This isn’t what I want. You’re it for me.” In a swift motion, he jerked me over the console and into his lap. His mouth crashed down on mine, and he poured his emotions into me. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t resist him. I thought I could slam the door closed to my heart and lock him out, but I’d not been honest with myself.
Our lips parted, and I collapsed against him, the tears returning. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.
“Please don’t tell me this is the last time I can hold you. Please. I can find another job, and meet new friends, but there is no other you.”
They say not to make decisions when you’re emotional, but our relationship was holding on by a thread. I either had to find the strength to get out of this car and walk into the house without him or tell him I was sorry for ripping out our hearts and stomping all over them. I’d not realized it would nearly kill us both.
21
I sat up, my swollen eyes landing on the only man I had ever loved. My fingers traced down his cheek and his angular jaw.
“Did you mean it?” he whispered in the dark.
He didn’t have to explain what he was referring too. I already knew. “Yes. For the first time in my life, I’m so in love that I can’t see straight.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “Tell me again.” He cupped my face, worry flickering across his expression.
“Yo
u own me, Vaughn Reddington. I love you from a place inside myself I never realized existed before. I look at you, and you take my breath away. You’re the most beautiful badass I’ve ever known, and I love you more than I thought was possible. You complete me, and if I were honest with myself … I don’t want to live a single day without you by my side.”
“Then tell me we’re not over. Please.” Vaughn’s eyes pleaded with me, and my heart swelled.
“I’m sorry …” I dropped my gaze to his lap. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“Don’t hurt me, then.” His mouth hovered over mine. “Don’t do this.”
My heart stuttered, and I stopped breathing for a moment. “I can’t.” I shook my head. “You can’t tell me you won’t hate me a year down the road for pulling you away from the people who are your family.”
“It’s my choice, and it’s not fair that you’ve made this decision for me.”
Checkmate. “Tell me what you want. Tell me what a life with me would look like without Pierce, Sutton, and Zayne.”
He didn’t even hesitate. “A beautiful life with you. I choose you. If they’re my friends, they will support us. They’ll be happy for us. Think about it, babe. Would Sutton really turn on you? She has never bashed you for hiding Tucker or the life you fell into. Not once has she judged you. She welcomed you here with open arms.”
My overloaded brain began to spin again. He was right—not once had she ever treated me shitty for my screw-ups. I leaned back against the steering wheel and rubbed my temples. “You’re right. She’s our best shot.”
“What are you saying?” he asked, fear threading through his words.
“That I’m sorry for putting you through the wringer tonight, and if you’ll have me—”
His mouth met mine. “We’re okay? We’re still an us?”
“Yes,” I said softly against his lips. “But only if you realize you might lose everything because of me.”
“You’ve got it all wrong, babe. I’m gaining the world with you. Everything I’d ever hoped for is sitting in my lap.”