Rescued

by Priscilla West

  She went to the laundry room and I resumed the search for the peanut butter. It ended up being behind some chicken noodle soup cans in the back of the pantry. I took it out, globbed some peanut butter into a dish with a spoon, and set that in the middle of the plate of apple slices.

  Finally, I picked up the plate and brought it into the living room where the boys were still wrestling with Hunter. “Snack time,” I said brightly.

  The boys scampered over, with Hunter close behind. Everyone took a slice and chowed down.

  “I don’t remember the last time I had apple slices with peanut butter,” Hunter said. “Not sure I’ve ever had it, to be honest.”

  “Really?” Joel said. “Our mom makes them for us all the time!”

  Hunter shrugged and chewed his snack in silence.

  A buzzing came from my back pocket. It took me a while to realize what it was. I was still getting used to having a phone again.

  I pulled it out and looked at the screen. It was a Chicago area code—which I knew from growing up there—but I didn’t recognize the number. My lips pursed, I hit answer and put the phone to my ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Is Hunter there?” the voice on the other line asked. It was a woman and she sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.

  “Who is this?” I asked, putting the plate down on a coffee table. Hunter looked at me questioningly as I walked out of the room for some privacy, stopping at the foot of the stairs.

  “He’s there, isn’t he? I knew it.”

  That tone of voice was familiar. Finally I recognized it. “Is this Ada?”

  There was a brief silence on the other line. I was right. “Yeah,” she said. “You need to put Hunter on the phone right now.”

  Her tone was irritating. Who the hell did she think she was to call me and start giving me orders? “How did you get my number? Why are you calling?”

  She sighed loudly, then continued in a condescending tone. “Hunter might die if he doesn’t get a test he skipped out on.”

  My stomach dropped and I felt my pulse pounding in my ears. What the fuck? Was she lying? Why would she lie about something like this?

  “. . . I’m trying to get him to take it. Are you fucking listening? Is he there?”

  “What?” I asked, my voice shaky. “A test?”

  “At the hospital, yes. I was there with him after he got knocked out. The doctor told him he had to take this test at the end of the week to make sure his MS didn’t start to get worse. They said worst-case scenario, he could die. Like maybe in a few months.”

  “How do you know he didn’t take it?”

  “Is he there or not?”

  I closed my eyes. “Yes, he’s here.”

  “Good, I knew he’d go chasing you after you ditched him again,” she said, speaking quickly. The pattern on the wallpaper was starting to look like it was moving, and my breath came in short bursts. “I was worried he would drop everything and go after you. Looks like I was right. I tried texting him but he didn’t respond. Classic Hunter, avoiding a test like this. He has multiple sclerosis by the way. I don’t know if he’s told you yet.”

  I bit my lip, trying to steady myself. Ada’s petty insults weren’t worth getting upset over, but how could Hunter have hidden this from me? Why was he skipping out on this test? It sounded like it could be something serious. Despite her obnoxious tone, even Ada wouldn’t lie about something like this.

  “I also tried calling him and left messages, because, you know, I really wanted to talk to him and was worried that he had just disappeared. Well, that and I’m not an emo, callous bitch.”

  That was enough. Maybe Ada really did care about Hunter’s well-being but I didn’t deserve her bullshit. I opened my mouth to say something back, but closed it and took a deep breath to steady myself. Arguing with Ada wasn’t worth my breath.

  “He did tell me he has MS,” I said, my voice steady. “Is there anything else I should ask him about, or will he know what I mean when I ask him about the test?”

  “Put him on the phone.”

  I shook my head even though she wasn’t there. “If he wants to talk to you, he has his own phone.”

  She let out a frustrated sigh. “I need to talk to Hunter. Don’t be jealous that I’m the only one who can convince him to stop being a fucking baby.”

  Ada could insult me all she wanted, but hearing her talk about Hunter like that, when he was the one who had to deal with so much, made me furious.

  “I’d reach through this phone and slap you right now, but that would be child abuse. Anything else?”

  “Put him on the phone you stupid fucking whore!"

  “Thank you for calling,” I said sweetly. “Goodbye.”

  I held the phone away from my face but I could still hear Ada yelling profanities at me over it. Then I hung up.

  Chapter Twelve

  TALK

  I looked at my phone and contemplated what to do next, putting Ada out of my mind. I had to focus Hunter right now. My face felt hot. Why wouldn’t he take this test? How could he hide it from me? If Ada hadn’t called, I would have never known about it. It was hard to believe. After we’d had that heart to heart, and he’d told me he wouldn’t hide anything like that from me again, here we were. Again. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

  I shook my head and walked back into the living room, feeling Hunter’s gaze on me as I came in and sat on the couch. He searched my face, but I did my best to wipe any expression away, burying my frustration.

  “Did you guys finish the apple slices?” I asked.

  I was looking at Hunter, but it was Billy who answered. “There’s still a couple left,” he said. Peanut butter clung to the edges of his mouth. “Do you want some?”

  I shook my head in answer as my aunt came into the room. “How are my boys doing?” she asked.

  “Good,” they answered, nearly in unison.

  “Billy, come here and let me wipe your mouth.”

  “Mommm,” he cried. But he stomped over obediently.

  I looked at Hunter and felt a jolt as we locked eyes, then looked away quickly. Even though I wanted to yell my voice hoarse at him, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.

  Why had Hunter not taken the test? Was it because he was so concerned about my well-being that he couldn’t stay in Studsen? No, that didn’t seem right. After the first night he came here, he had plenty of time. Even with him working on the dining room for Aunt Caroline, he would have had time to slip out to go to a clinic in Indiana if he had wanted to.

  No, it had to be something else. I sat on the couch, my emotions in turmoil as I tried to figure it out.

  It was only when I thought back to the night he let me help him with his treatment shot that I realized what it was. My heart clutched in pain at the realization.

  He must be scared.

  It was hard for me to imagine how scary it was to deal with something like MS, but I knew it must’ve been terrifying. I knew that sometimes things were so hard to deal with you didn’t deal with them well.

  Avoiding the test was not the right thing to do, but I knew what it felt like to be so paralyzed that you couldn’t even think straight. I also knew that Ada’s approach of yelling at him would never work. The fact Hunter wouldn’t respond to Ada’s messages was evidence of that.

  I took a deep breath and chanced a look at him again. His head turned simultaneously, and his raised eyebrows showed he was concerned by the conversation I’d just had.

  “Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked him. The boys—Joel from his position on the floor and Billy still being attended to by his mother—snapped their heads over toward me with enthusiastic looks.

  “Yeah, let’s go for a walk!” Joel cried.

  I grimaced and looked at my aunt, who had already seemed to catch my drift. “We can go for a walk later,” she said. “Let’s go and clean our rooms first.”

  Their faces fell. “But Mom! We just cleaned t
hem!”

  “Then we can tidy up. Come on, let’s go and leave Hunter and Lorrie alone.”

  They left, the boys grumbling the whole way up the stairs. When the living room was empty, I asked again. “So, do you want to go for a walk?”

  Still looking at me carefully, he shrugged and grabbed his black hoodie from the floor. “Sure.”

  I stood up and went to the closet to get my coat. He followed close behind. We said nothing else before walking out the front door. My stomach quivered nervously as I contemplated the conversation we were about to have.

  I broke the silence once we were outside. “Want to go out back to the spot we talked last time?”

  “Talk?” Hunter asked, his jaw tense. “I thought we were just walking?”

  I cringed. “We can do both.”

  He looked down at the ground and said nothing. My chest tight, I led the way nervously around the house and toward the path through the woods.

  After a moment of walking on the woodchip covered path, I couldn’t take it anymore. I pressed my lips together and tried to steady myself, then said the words I’d been rehearsing in my head.

  “Hunter, I really care about you, and I appreciate how you’ve been working on building a healthy relationship together with me. It means a lot.”

  He thrust his hands into his the pockets of his hoodie and waited a beat to make sure I was finished. “I really care about you too,” he said.

  He kicked the wet ground and sent a stone skidding along the dirt. “Who called?”

  I took one more deep, anxious breath. “Ada.”

  His eyes opened wide and his mouth opened then shut quickly. It was hard to tell if he was mad, shocked, or both. “Why does she have your number?”

  I said nothing, but my vision blurred with unexpected tears. Not wanting him to see them, I turned my face away.

  “And what the fuck is she doing trying to mess with us? What did she say, anyway? Was she a bitch?”

  After wiping my eyes, I steadied myself and looked at him, my heart in my throat. “Hunter, you know what she said.”

  “She’s always been jealous, ever since she and I broke up.”

  “Why did you skip out on the test?” I asked. My hands were shaking.

  He stopped walking. His eyes moved furtively back and forth like a caged animal as he looked at me nervously. Finally, he seemed ready to snap. He turned and whipped his leg viciously to kick a tree along the side of the forest path with his boot. Then he wound up and punched the tree’s trunk, sending a large chunk of bark flying.

  “FUCK!” he growled, the sound coming from the back of his throat.

  His outburst wasn’t loud, but it carried the intensity of a gunshot. Tears flooded my eyes and adrenaline surged through my veins. I backed away. “Hunter stop,” I choked out. “You’re scaring me.”

  He turned to me, fists in a ball with his right hand bleeding. His eyes looked out of focus for a moment, then his expression melted and his shoulders slumped, defeated. “I’m sorry,” he said, breathing hard. “You know you don’t have to be scared of me. I’d never hurt you.”

  He took a step toward me, then seemed to think better of it and stayed put, his eyes on the ground. We stood in the path, still fifty yards from where I had intended to have this conversation. Some robins sang and filled the painful silence. My heart pounded in my ears as I waited for his answer.

  When he looked at me, I thought his eyes might be glistening, but I wasn’t sure. “If someone could tell you the exact day you were gonna to die, would you want to know?”

  Shards of pain splintered in my chest.

  “I mean from natural causes,” he added. “Like, if they could tell you when your body is gonna just stop working. Would you rather know, or find out when it happens?”

  My breath caught in my throat as I thought about “natural causes.” My stomach felt like a rock.

  He seemed to be waiting for my answer, but when he saw that I had none, he continued. “I can tell you what I think. I wouldn’t wanna know. Actually, I don’t wanna know, ‘cause I don’t have to pretend whether this is a real question. I’m pretty sure even though I have MS, I can still make that decision.”

  The hair on the back of my neck was on end. I ran through his question again and again nervously in my mind. “Of course this is your decision,” I said unsteadily, though I looked him in the eye, “I just wish we could have talked about it.”

  “What is there to talk about?”

  “I mean, you haven’t even taken the test yet. Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think.”

  He scoffed. “What? Like they’ll scan me and then suddenly I’ll be magically cured? I know better than that.”

  “No, but you can’t just imagine the worst case scenario either. You have to stay positive.”

  A sick smile crept over his lips, like he had his own personal joke about what I’d said. “Okay. Hey, I’m positive!” The smile left, and the look that replaced it was painfully earnest.

  “Why are you mocking me?” I asked, feeling slightly hurt. “Positivity is really important for dealing with this kind of thing.”

  “I’m sorry. I just don’t see the point of getting the test done if there’s only going to be bad news.”

  “There must be a reason the doctors wanted you to do it. Is it possible that they can treat you better if they knew what was going on?”

  He paused for a second, and then looked down to the ground, kicking a rock out of his way. “I—I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “If they can, then I think you should give them a chance to help you.”

  He took a couple deep breaths. It looked like he was trying hard to hold himself together.

  Tears flowed freely down my cheeks. Watching him struggle with this broke my heart. “You know I’m committed to us whatever you decide. I’m just hoping you’ll let me help when you have to face this stuff.”

  “And if—if things get bad? Will you still be there?"

  “Of course. Of course I’ll still be there. I—” I swallowed, my mouth thick. “I’m terrified and I’m still trying to adjust to it, but I’ll be there for you.”

  He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “Even if it gets really bad? Even if you have to deal with another early death?”

  His words stabbed me to the core. He had always been there for me, I could hardly even think about what I would do without him by my side without sobbing, but I looked away for a moment and tried to keep it together.

  “I’d cry,” I said, turning back to look him right in the face. “I’d be devastated. But I’m not running away anymore. No matter what happens, we can face it together. No matter what. I promise. ”

  Hunter looked away, staring intently at nothing in particular. I knew he was considering my words so I didn’t interrupt him, I just let him think. However it made me feel, he had to make the decision for himself. I could be there for him, but this was about him, not me, I knew I couldn’t make this choice for him.

  Finally, he let out a long shuddering sigh.

  He turned back to me, and walked toward me for an embrace. I hesitated for a moment, then brought my own arms wide and wrapped them around him, burying my face in his strong chest and letting out a single sob. He held me, his hands on my back, and we just stood there.

  He took a deep breath. “I’m gonna call and make an appointment for that scan. Will you go with me?”

  I nodded, inadvertently wiping my tears on his sweatshirt. My face felt raw from all the crying in the brisk weather. “Of course.”

  I pulled back and craned my neck up to kiss him. He seemed to have the same idea, and brought his lips down on mine. Finally we simply held each other and listened to the world around us. Everything was still. Everything continued on.

  Chapter Thirteen

  A DIFFERENT KIND OF READING

  Hunter’s appointment was scheduled for one p.m. that Friday. Thursday passed in a blur of anxious anticipation and awkward attempts to
pretend everything was fine. And then it was Friday.

  The entire day my stomach fluttered so much I thought it wanted to permanently leave my body. Hunter hadn’t eaten anything that day because of his scan but I wasn’t eating out of sheer nerves.

  We decided to volunteer to get groceries so we wouldn’t have to tell my aunt and uncle about Hunter’s condition. We were standing in the kitchen shortly after the kids had gone off to school, and Hunter took the lead on convincing my aunt. It didn’t take much.

  “Oh, that’s very sweet of you Hunter,” she said. “If you’re sure, I can give you the list in just a minute.”

  “Thanks for letting me help out,” he replied, a big smile on his face. I stood mute beside him and tried to emulate his expression.

  “No, thank you,” she said. She left to go get her purse, which contained the list. I exhaled as she left. Every day until we got the results was going to be nerve-wracking.

  An hour later we were on the road. Hunter had made an appointment at an imaging center near town, about thirty-five minutes from where my aunt and uncle lived. The scan results were going to be read by a specialist on the other side of town who we were going to see the next week.

  I watched his hands as he drove and saw he was clutching the steering wheel white-knuckled. Even if he was trying not to show it, he was nervous. We drove in silence for ten minutes before I tried to break the ice.

  “You were perfect with my aunt,” I said, cracking my best fake smile.

  He shrugged. “She’s really nice to me.”

  “I think she can see you put in an effort with her and she’s trying to return the favor.”

  “I guess that’s true. Do you know where we’re going?”

  I looked at my phone, which had the directions to the center. “Yeah, you still have another couple miles before we have to turn.”

  He nodded, and we drove without conversation for the rest of the trip. I couldn’t come up with anything to say that didn’t feel awkward, so I said nothing.