The Colonel's Baby

by Kathleen Hope

I frowned at her back. I see she’s forgotten her English again. I started to say something, but Trenton caught my arm. He shook his head slightly. I let him lead me out of the kitchen and outside.

  I didn’t say anything as he drove away from my parents’ house. I assumed that he was going to drive back to the base or something. So I was a bit surprised when he passed the exit to the base.

  “Where are we going?” I asked him.

  “I thought we’d go somewhere to get away for a while.”

  “Such as?”

  He glanced at me. “You’ll see. Unless you’d rather me take you back to the restaurant?”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t care where we go. I just want to get away from them.”

  Trenton didn’t say anymore and I stared out of the window, not paying attention to where he was going. Which is something I never do. But I was pissed off at my family. Why couldn’t I just have my own life? Date who I wanted to? Why did Marco think he was my father instead of my brother? And why didn’t my parents say anything when he went off on me? Why haven’t they gone off on me yet? I was more than sure that if Marco had a problem with my relationship with Trenton, then they probably did too. Not that I cared much or would leave Trenton to make them all happy. But then again, I did care. At the end of the day, my family was all I had.

  I was drawn out of my thoughts when he pulled into a parking space and turned off the engine. “Where are we?” I asked as he got out and opened my door.

  “Somewhere where you can relax and take your mind off of your family.”

  I stepped out of the car, looking around me. He’d brought me to the gardens. It was part of the university’s agricultural school. Even though I went to school here, I’d never had the occasion to come here. Trenton took my hand and led me through the gate into the garden. He turned down one of the paths and we began walking in silence.

  As I walked, I closed my eyes for a brief second, letting the beauty of the garden and the cool of the evening wash over me. I could feel his eyes on me, and I looked over at him.

  “Are you alright? Do you want to sit down for a while?”

  I shook my head. “I’m okay. Just tired.”

  He squeezed my hand. “Yeah, I know.” We walked a bit further in silence. Then he spoke again. “I’m sorry about what happened. I guess your family doesn’t like me as much as I hoped they would.”

  “I should be the one apologizing, Trenton. I cannot believe they acted like that. Especially Marco.”

  “Well I reckon he’s only looking after his little sister.”

  “No. He’s trying to run my life. Just like he always has. And my parents don’t say a word because he’s the oldest and the oldest boy. So he can do just what he pleases and I’m supposed to be the good girl. Dutiful wife and mother.” I wrinkled my nose. “I’m more than the housewife and mom.”

  Trenton stopped walking and pulled me into his arms. “You are. You can be any damn thing you want to be.”

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. I let the sound of his steady heartbeat soothe my frazzled nerves. “I’m sorry for the way they treated you.”

  He chuckled and the sound rumbled beneath my ear. “No worries. My dad was the same way about my sister. And I’ve threatened more than one potential suitor in my role as big brother.”

  I lifted my head and looked up at him. “Would you have really hit Marco?” I asked.

  Trenton nodded. “Yes. Had he continued to put you down or put his hands on you, then yes, I would have hit him. You’re my girl, and any good man wouldn’t let anyone treat his woman that way. Not even family.”

  “Thanks for sticking up for me.”

  “I’m at your service, beautiful lady.” He pulled me close again. “I love you, Alessandra,” he murmured. “I’m sorry if they don’t like it. But I’m not going to stop seeing you. If it will make your life easier, I won’t come to your house, or at least I’ll wait outside for you.”

  “You shouldn’t have to do that.” I protested. “We should be able to go anywhere, including my parents’ home, without being eyeballed or ignored.”

  “Yes well. Until they change their minds about me, then we’ll just have to do something else.” He paused for a moment. “Like you can move in with me.”

  I paused. “What?”

  He pulled back, lifting my face to his. “I said, you can move in with me. There’s plenty of space for the both of us. And besides, once you graduate, you’ll be working on the base anyway. I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. It’s just a suggestion. Do what you feel is best for you. Just-just think about it okay?” He brushed his lips along mine. “I love you. And it’s killing me to watch you suffer their silence or him yelling at you.”

  I hugged him close again. I love you, I wanted to say. But I held back. I wished that I could be like Tracy and just say what’s on my mind. I wished I could just say ‘yes, I’d love to move in’ and haul my stuff to his house tonight. And yet, I figured that I owed it to my parents to let them know I was thinking of moving in with my boyfriend. They were going to go through the roof. I knew it. They were still of the traditional mindset that a girl shouldn’t move in with a man until they were married. And since Trenton and I had no intentions of getting married anytime soon, they would definitely oppose the idea.

  “Let me think about it,” I said.

  “You know you don’t have to ask permission to follow your heart,” he murmured. “I get your family means everything to you. But as you said earlier, you are an adult. And you can make your own choices. Honestly, some of the choices we make more often than not are totally opposite of what our parents want us to do. I’ve made many decisions that my folks were appalled at. But I made them. Some were good, and some were huge mistakes. But I can’t worry about what they think or I’ll never be happy in my life, and neither will you.”

  I chuckled and he looked down at me with a frown.

  “What? What did I say that’s so funny?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s just that Tracy has said the exact same thing to me several times.”

  “So if two people are telling you the same thing, they both can’t be wrong, can they?”

  “No. I guess not.”

  He put both hands on my shoulders. “Baby, I know it’s hard to let go of what you’re used to. Or the feeling of not wanting to disappoint the people you love. But at some point, you’ve got to stop caring and let your heart decide what you want.” Gently, he reached over to stroke my cheek. “Do you want to be with me?”

  I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered without hesitating. “I do. I want to be with you.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered. “You can come and go as you please. All I want is to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your smile. And make love to you whenever you want.”

  A shiver went through me and he pulled me closer. “That sounds good.”

  “Hmm. It does. Think about it. No pressure. No strings. My offer will be open.”

  I should have told him that I loved him.

  ______

  Marco was sitting at the kitchen table alone when I came down to go to class. He looked up from reading a magazine to pierce me with a stare. I stared back but decided to be pleasant. He was my brother after all, and would be even after Trenton and I ended. A shiver of something ran down my spine again. But I ignored it. We were going to be okay. I knew it.

  He took a sip of his coffee and turned a page in his magazine. “I guess you couldn’t make it to work the other night, huh?”

  I started to ignore him but figured I might as well clear the air between since no one was here to intervene. “No. I guess I had other things to do.”

  “That’s not funny, Alessandra,” he said dryly.

  “I wasn’t trying to be, Marco.” I went over and sat down across from him. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you. You’re my brother and I love you more than anyone else in this world. But you�
��ve got to let me grow up and have my own life.”

  He blew out a breath but I knew he was listening.

  “Trenton is a good man if you’d just take a moment to get to know him.”

  “I just don’t trust him. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  I reached across the table and put my hand over his. “I know, Marco. And I wish I could promise you that he won’t ever hurt me. But guess what? I can’t. I can’t even guarantee myself that it won’t happen. If it does, then I have to put on my big girl pants and walk away.” I squeezed his hand. “You’re not going to always be around to rescue or protect me.”

  He looked at me. “But that’s what I’m supposed to do, Alessandra. I’m your brother. I guess no one is ever going to be good enough for you in my eyes.”

  I chuckled and a small smile curved his lips. “I guess not. But he loves me. I have to trust in the feelings he says he has for me until I’m proven wrong.”

  “I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said again. For a moment, he was quiet. Then he said, “Are you in love with him?”

  I didn’t answer right away. I wasn’t sure about admitting feelings to my brother that I hadn’t even told the man who held my heart. I felt like love was something personal, something that you didn’t treat or talk about casually like the weather. The world would be able to see that you and your partner were in love. It would shine brighter than the sun. Like when Papa smiled at Mama. That was love.

  “Alessandra?”

  I blinked, looking over at him. “What?”

  “I asked you if you are in love with Trenton.”

  I lifted a shoulder. “What if I am?”

  Marco swore softly under his breath. “I was afraid you were going to say that.”

  I felt myself getting upset. “What have you got to be afraid of?” I asked him. “I’m the one freaking out. Trenton asked me to move in with him.”

  My brother swore again. “What did you tell him?”

  I lifted a shoulder. “I haven’t given him an answer yet.” I met Marco’s gaze. “I’m considering it though. It’s time for me to branch out and be on my own.”

  “What about the business? Are you going to leave Papa and Mama high and dry?”

  I stared at him. Don’t let him make you feel bad for going for what is going to make you happy. “What about it? I can still help out from time to time. But I’m graduating next month and I’ve been offered a job at the hospital on the base. And I took it.”

  “Hmm.”

  “I would be a fool not to, Marco. Listen, I love you guys with all of my heart, and I want to business to keep thriving. But I didn’t spend four years of my life getting this degree to waste it waiting tables in my family’s pizza joint.”

  “I know,” he said grudgingly. “I guess I just don’t see why you have to move in with him to do this.”

  “I have to do this, Marco,” I said softly. “If it doesn’t work out, then oh well. But I’d feel worse if I didn’t try.”

  He stared at me for a long moment. “I guess.” Blowing out a deep sigh, he stood up and came around the table. I watched him warily, not sure of his intentions. But he merely came to stand in front of me. “I do love you, little sister,” he said quietly. “I just want you to be happy. And I guess if he makes you happy, you deserve to try.”

  I opened my arms to him and he hugged me. Tears filled my eyes as he pulled me close. I buried my face in his shoulder. “I’ve always looked up to you,” I whispered. “It’s always been your opinion that’s mattered to me. Even above theirs. I don’t want you mad at me. I need your support. I’m scared, but if I don’t try, I never will.”

  I felt his lips brush the side of my head. “You’ve always had my support, bug. And you always will. I guess I gotta learn to let you grow up and do things on your own.” He pulled back, brushing my cheek with a hand. “I love you, bug. No one or nothing will ever take that away. If you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

  That was all I needed to hear.

  One month til graduation. And moving in.

  ______

  Trenton and I began to settle into the routines of living together. Though I was nervous about moving in with him, I quickly became accustomed to having him around 24/7. It was nice to come home to someone instead of an empty house or uninterested members of the family. He brought me flowers often and cooked for me. He was a surprisingly good cook for a guy. I’d told him he was going to spoil me. No one had ever done these things for me. I found myself falling more and more in love with him every day, though I still had yet to tell him of these feelings. I was afraid that they’d vanish if I said the words out loud.

  “Well you’ve definitely added a woman’s touch to the love nest,” Tracy commented as she looked around.

  I nodded. “Yeah well. I didn’t do much. Just added a little of me.”

  She grinned. “You look great. I don’t ever remember seeing you so happy.”

  Trenton picked that moment to come out of the bedroom. He was dressed in his dress uniform. He’d told me he was teaching over at the school today. From the corner of my eye, I saw Tracy’s gaze linger on him. I tried to fight down the jealousy that rose up inside me.

  “I’ll see you later, darlin’,” he said, kissing me on the cheek. “You two have fun. Us men have to work.”

  I patted him on the arm. “Aw. Well if it makes you feel better, I have to go to work too.”

  He grinned and hugged me close to his side as we walked to the front door. “I’ll pick you up this evening so you don’t have to walk.”

  “That’s very sweet of you,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. I knew that I wasn’t really supposed to do this while he was in uniform. But it was just us and Tracy, and I knew she wouldn’t say anything.

  “It means less time I have to wait to have you,” he whispered before his lips closed over mine.

  I couldn’t help but sigh as I always did when he kissed me. I never got tired of tasting his lips or feeling his strong arms go around me. From her perch at the kitchen table, Tracy playfully cleared her throat. Trenton pulled away, grinning down at me.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said softly. “Miss me?”

  “Always,” I said back.

  “Love you. Bye Tracy,” he called as he hurried out.

  When I sat back down, I found Tracy staring at me with a knowing grin on her face. “So is that the way it is?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “He dropped the L-bomb.”

  “So?”

  “So you didn’t say it back.”

  I took a sip of my coffee to stall for time. I should have known that Tracy would pick up on that. “You know I’m not real good at expressing my feelings like that.”

  “Are you in love with him?” When I nodded, she continued. “Then tell him. He’s not like the rest of them. He’s not going to hurt you.”

  “Have you told Cliff?”

  She grinned. “That, my friend is a whole other conversation.”

  “What do you mean? If you love him, tell him,” I said, repeating her words to me.

  Her smile broadened and she waved a hand. “I don’t know that I am in love with Cliff. He’s great and all. We have a good time together, and the sex is out of this world. But he’s still got a lot of play in him. His eyes wander too much. Oh he tries to play it off but I see it.”

  “That doesn’t bother you?”

  She shrugged. “A little I guess. But whatever.”

  “So why do you stay with him?”

  Tracy fixed me with those big brown eyes of hers. “Because the sex is amazing. And he’s just looking.”

  “As far as you know.”

  “Yeah.” She sipped her coffee. “So? How’s the job? I feel like we don’t get to see each other much anymore.”

  “It’s good. I like it.”

  “Do you miss the restaurant?”

  I shrugged. “Sometimes. But I’m happy doing what I’ve always wanted
to do. I’m helping people. At the restaurant, I was slinging pizza. I’m making more money, have better hours. Besides, they don’t really want me around.”

  Tracy sobered. “What happened? You never did tell me what happened after the graduation ceremony.”

  “No we didn’t get to talk much. Did you have a nice time with your family?”

  “Oh yeah. And I was glad when they left. So what happened?”

  I sighed. “Mama, Papa and Marco came to the ceremony. Trenton was there as well. Marco acted like he had some sense this time. Mama and Papa were kind of quiet. I guess they were all still mad at me because I’d been spending more time with Trenton instead of going to help out at the restaurant.”

  “You have that right, you know.”

  “Tell them that. Marco already knew about my job offer and that I was thinking about moving in with Trenton. It seemed like the most logical move for us. I mean, I’m working at the hospital here on the base. Trenton and I are in a committed relationship. So why not? Besides, they knew that one day I was going to move on with my life. I’d told them that I’ve always wanted to be a physical therapist. I’ve never wanted to work in the family business. I did it because I felt like it was my obligation to help out. But that’s not what I want for myself.”

  Tracy nodded sympathetically. “I hear you, girlfriend,” she said softly. “I think Marco’s pissed off with me too.”

  “With you? Why?”

  “I quit too.”

  I lifted an eyebrow.

  “Yep. I worked about two or three more weeks after graduation to give them a chance to hire someone to replace me. The position on the nursing staff at the hospital came up, and I’d have been a fool not to take it when they offered it to me.” She leaned back in her chair. “He wasn’t happy about it.”

  “I imagine not. To tell you the truth, I haven’t even talked to them in more than a month. But I guess it’s just something I’m going to have to get used to.”

  “Well, I done come to realize that you can’t make everybody happy all the time. The only person you need to worry about is yourself.”

  Think about myself.

  ______

  Trenton had been acting rather strange over the last few weeks. Oh he was still sweet and loving towards me. We got along fine and enjoyed each other’s company. But there was something about him, a restlessness that wasn’t there before. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was there. Several times, he’d turned to me as if he wanted to say something, but would hesitate as if he either couldn’t say it or didn’t know how to.