The Colonel's Baby

by Kathleen Hope

  ______

  I decided to play dumb and see if Trenton would say anything. He had no reason to suspect that I’d overheard his conversation and had seen him kiss his ex. I put on a happy face as I heard the key turn in the lock. It was harder than I thought it would be to pretend that nothing was wrong.

  Trenton dropped his keys on the table as he always did when he came in.

  “Good evening, darlin’,” he greeted me. He held out the catch of red roses to me. “These are for you,”

  I accepted them, looking at him. “Why?”

  He raised an eyebrow, taken aback by my unexpected question and suspicion. “Because I thought you’d like them. I know roses are your favorite.”

  “It’s nice of you to remember.”

  “Why wouldn’t I remember? Are you okay? You seem upset.”

  Oh you have no freaking idea, I thought. Out loud, I said, “No. Just tired I guess.”

  He looked as if he didn’t quite believe me. But he didn’t press the issue.

  We went about our evening routine and I waited for him to say something. But he didn’t. He held me close as he always did while we watched TV. Despite my hurt feelings, I was still turned on by him being so close to me. Maybe that’s what I needed to do to get his mind back on me. I needed to do what Maggie had done.

  I turned my head and drew his face to mine and kissed him. Like I’d hoped, his mind switched from the TV to me. He pressed me back against the pillows, kissing me the way he knew I liked. I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. He grunted softly.

  Pushing at his shoulders, I rolled him to his back and straddled his hips. He grinned up at me.

  “My, my, what’s gotten into you?”

  “What do you mean? Don’t you like it?”

  He nodded. “Oh I love it. My kitten is a tiger.” His hands slid up my thighs to cup my hips. “And if you want to devour me whole, then I won’t fight you,” he murmured.

  I couldn’t help but smile at his words. Silly as they were, they somehow made me feel a little better. But I wanted to push her from his mind completely. There would be no doubt who he was in love with.

  Leaning forward, I began to kiss my way down his body. He drew in a sharp breath as I ran my tongue along his chest. His hand sank into my hair, holding me close to him. I moved down his torso, biting, licking, sucking at his skin. I laughed delighted when his belly sank in and he drew a sharp breath.

  “I find it so cute that you’re ticklish, Colonel Boone,” I teased him.

  “Do you now? How about we see where your ticklish spots are.” He shifted, almost bucking me off. But I held on.

  “Not yet,” I said, sliding down further until I was right where I wanted to be. I took a moment to admire him. God knows he was beautifully formed. I was amazed that there was once a time that I was afraid to be like this with a man. Before, I never wanted any man on top of me much less me being so close to him like this.

  But Trenton was different. He was kind and patient. He allowed me to explore his body without fear of being groped back or grabbed. And I quickly grew accustomed to touching him and being touched by him so intimately. I’d come to love it, crave it. Want him every minute of the day. And now I’d have to learn to live without him.

  For now, until he left, I would have moments like this. I took him into my hand, stroking him gently, then with firmer strokes until he was writhing beneath me. When I lowered my mouth over him, he groaned my name, his head thrashing from side to side on the pillow.

  I met his gaze. “So you know it’s me?”

  “What?” he asked confused.

  I moved again until I once again straddled his hips and the moist tip of him was poised at my opening. He shifted his hips, trying to push himself inside me. But I wouldn’t let him.

  “Do you know who I am?”

  “Of course I know who you are,” he said almost desperately. “Please stop playing with me. I’m so close.”

  “Do you know my name?”

  “Yes. Yes. I know your name. I know who you are.”

  “Who am I to you?”

  “My lady.”

  “Do you love me?”

  “Yes. I love you.”

  I slowly lowered my hips, taking him inch by luscious inch into my body. We both groaned in unison as we came together as one. I rotated my hips, grinding against him. I felt the familiar twinges that signaled my climax and I moved harder on him. His fingers dug into my hips and he matched me thrust for thrust. I knew he was getting close as well. I went still just as his body began to shudder.

  “What’s my name?” I demanded. I waited for him to say her name. He tried to pull me down to kiss me, but I pulled back. In my mind’s eye, I saw him kissing her. I prayed that he wasn’t thinking of her right now.

  “Tell me,” I said from between clenched teeth.

  “Alessandra,” he groaned as he exploded inside me.

  I rolled off of him, giving him my back. He lay there unmoving, not speaking. I wondered what he was thinking about. I knew what I was thinking. As I listened to his even breathing, I was thinking that no matter what I did or said, I was most likely about to lose him.

  He still hadn’t told me he was leaving.

  ______

  Another month passed and Trenton never said anything about his transfer. I didn’t say anything about what I’d seen in his office that day. Tracy thought I’d made a mistake in not telling him. But I held onto my reasoning that he should have told me. He was the one leaving.

  I’d been feeling funny lately. Not sick, but- funny. I didn’t mention it to Trenton, though he asked me several times if I were okay. I just brushed it off. I was probably tired from working extra hours.

  Today was no different. I sat at the dining room table, head propped on my fist. I pushed the eggs on my plate around with my fork. Trenton looked up.

  “What’s wrong? You don’t like the food?”

  I glanced at him. “No, it’s fine. I think I’m coming down with something. I just feel kind of nauseous. Sandra was complaining the other day about not feeling well. She must have passed it on to me.”

  “I hope not.” He looked at me closely. “You do look a little peaked. Why don’t you take off today? Get some rest.”

  I nodded. “Maybe I will.”

  His blue eyes were concerned. “Maybe I should stay home with you.”

  I shook my head. “You have that meeting today.”

  “I can do a phone conference.”

  I waved a hand. “You can’t miss your meeting because of me. I’ll be fine. I promise. I’ll just lay down and watch daytime TV.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Well at least I know you’ll get some sleep.” He stood and came around the table. “I’d better go. I’ll see you this evening.” He kissed me on the forehead. “Call me if you need anything. If I don’t answer, call the desk. They’ll come get me.”

  “Okay.”

  After he was gone, I stood up, intending to wash up the dishes before crawling back under the covers. Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit me so strong that I groaned out loud and almost doubled over. I stayed still and took several deep breaths until the feeling subsided.

  I carried the dishes to the sink. I’d wash them later. I went back into our bedroom and lay down. I felt shivery and I pulled the covers up over me. I only half listened to the TV show about women who had children and were having men tested to determine paternity. The woman was describing how she’d felt during the pregnancy and I turned my head, listening. Funnily enough, I had the same symptoms.

  No. No way. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t be pregnant. No way. I reached for my phone. There was only one way to be sure.

  “Tracy? Can you do me a favor?”

  ______

  I sat on the couch, staring at the test stick.

  “Are you okay, boo?” Tracy asked me quietly.

  “If I close my eyes and count to three, when I open them, there will only be one line on the test. Just one.
” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tightly. “One. Two. Three.” I opened my eyes.

  The two blue lines were still there. The telltale proof of the last thing I ever expected to happen.

  Tracy looked at me. “How did that work for you?”

  I glanced at her. “I’m pregnant,” I whispered.

  “Yes, you are. So what are you going to do?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you have to tell Trenton.”

  “He’s going to be pissed.”

  “Why? He loves you. I bet he’s going to be super excited.” She touched my arm. “But you have to tell him. Tonight.”

  She was right as usual. When Trenton came home, he seemed moody, preoccupied even. I wasn’t sure if now were the right time to tell him about the baby. He was concerned about me health and he came over, resting his hand against my forehead.

  “You don’t feel warm. Is the nausea still bad?”

  I shook my head. “Not really. I just feel a little queasy. Maybe I’m hungry.”

  “When I was a little boy, my mama used to give me and my brother ginger ale when our stomach hurt. I’ll run to the commissary and get you some. And some crackers. You’ll be feeling better in no time.”

  I smiled up at him. “Thanks for being so sweet.”

  He grinned. “Dr. Trenton Boone at your service ma’am. I’ll have you diagnosed and cured before you can snap your fingers.”

  This would be one diagnosis that the good Colonel Boone would miss. I lay my hands on my belly. Pregnant. I didn’t feel any different except for the nausea. I pulled up my shirt to look at myself. No roundness. Still flat. I sat still, trying to concentrate on feeling some kind of movement from inside. Something to let me know my baby was in there and growing.

  But there wouldn’t be any signs. Not yet anyway. I closed my eyes trying to picture what my baby might look like. A pretty little girl with bouncy sandy blond curls and blue eyes like her dad’s. Or maybe a dark-haired little boy with my brown eyes and Italian temper. I laughed out loud at my musings. It didn’t matter what he or she looked like. Just as long as they were healthy and had a mother and a father that loved them.

  The sudden ring of a phone startled me. I glanced at mine on the table, thinking it was Trenton calling to see if I wanted anything else. But no. My phone was still. I looked around. It was Trenton’s phone. In his haste to get the ginger ale for me, he’d left his phone behind. I didn’t get all shook up about it. He’d done it many times before.

  I started to turn and go lie back down on the couch. He’ll call whoever it was back when he came home. But the person must have really wanted to talk to him. I ignored it. By the third time, I got fed up and went to the counter. Picking it up, I looked at the caller ID. It was a number that I didn’t recognize. I started to put it back but stopped. Something ran down my spine and I somehow knew that it was Maggie calling. I don’t know how I knew this, but I did. It was her.

  I pressed the talk button. “Hello?”

  “Hey baby. I was thinking about you and wanted to hear your voice.” When I didn’t answer right away, she said, “Is this a bad time? Is she there with you?”

  My temper flared instantly. “Yeah. She is right here. She will give Trenton the message when he gets back.”

  ‘Oh my God,” I heard her say over and over as she fumbled with her phone. The line went dead as she disconnected the call.

  I gently lay his phone back down on the counter just the way he’d left it. I really wanted to throw it across the room. But I held myself in check. Oh he had some explaining to do.

  “Hey, I got you some soup too. I figured you might want something more than the saltines to eat.”

  I pierced him with a cold stare and didn’t answer.

  “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  “Just peachy.”

  He lifted an eyebrow carried the bag into the kitchen. Moments later, he came back and passed me a glass of ginger ale. The ice popped and clanked merrily in the fizzy liquid and it was all I could do not to throw it in his face.

  “Are you okay?” he asked again. “You seemed pissed.”

  “Oh no. I’m great. Oh. You had a call while you were gone.”

  “Oh. Ok thanks.” He got up and went to check his phone. “That’s funny. They didn’t leave a voicemail. Oh well. Must not have been important.” He turned to head into the bedroom.

  “Actually, I do have a message for you. Um, Maggie called. She wants you to call her back. Yeah. She said she was thinking about you and wanted to hear your voice. You might want to call her.”

  “You answered my phone?”

  “I only did because I thought it might be important. That’s the only reason. You know I never do that.”

  “What did you say to her?”

  I shrugged. “Does it matter? Another woman called my man wanting to talk to him because she’d been thinking about him.”

  “Alessandra-” he said warningly.

  “Who is she Trenton? And you damn well better not say she’s your cousin either.”

  He blew out a breath. “She’s an old friend. That’s all.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “That’s not how it looked to me.”

  “Huh?”

  “Huh?” I repeated. “Are you really going to stand here and act as if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about?” He just stared at me blankly and I continued. “I saw you, Trenton. I saw the two of you together.”

  “When?”

  “That day I was going to come and visit you.”

  “You never came to my office last month.”

  “Oh but I did. Only you didn’t see me because you were too busy talking to Maggie.”

  “Alessandra-”

  “When were you planning to tell me that you were being transferred? You told her. And she graciously offered to go with you.”

  He sighed. “It’s not what you think.”

  “So then the kiss was just a peck on the cheek?”

  Trenton swore softly under his breath. He knew he was caught.

  “Well?”

  “She is my ex-girlfriend,” he finally said. “We’d dated for almost three years before we broke up.” He gestured to the couch and I sat down, moving away from him. “She’d cheated on me. I’d had to go out of town to another base for a few months and she took advantage of the situation. I found out only because I came home early and caught them together. I broke up with her right then.”

  “So why did you tell her about your transfer and not me?”

  “I guess I thought if I told you, it would happen all over again.”

  Tracy had been right after all. “Why would I do that to you? Especially since you know what I’ve been through.”

  “You never can tell,” he said.

  “I’m not like that, Trenton.” I chewed my lip. “She said she’d go with you. Were you going to ask me or were you just going to take her?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He didn’t know. “I’d never hurt you, Trenton. I swear it.”

  His eyes looked sad as they met mine again. “I know. And I never meant to hurt you either.” He rubbed at his face. “She wants to try again, to see if we can make it work.”

  “She cheated on you, Trenton. She broke your heart and misused you trust. Please tell me you’re not considering getting back together with her?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “And what about us?”

  “You can stay here until you find a place. We can remain friends. But-”

  “You’d rather be with her knowing that she might cheat again?”

  “It’s the evil that I know. I don’t know if I could take it if you hurt me that way.”

  “So you’ll let her? I thought you loved me.”

  “And I thought you loved me. Guess we were both wrong, huh?”

  I felt like he’d just slapped me. He never loved me. He’d used me until the one he wanted came
back. I stood slowly. He watched me warily. I guess he thought I was going to hit him or something. I wasn’t going to do that. I was too numb. I walked past him and into the bedroom. My movements felt mechanical as I pulled out my suitcases and began to pack my things.

  “It’s late,” he said from the doorway. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? I’ll sleep out here on the couch. You take the bed.”

  “It’s cool. I’ll just get my stuff together.”

  “Where are you going to go? Your parents won’t let you back home.”

  “Don’t worry about me. I can make my own way.”

  A rueful smile curved his lips. “That’s what drew me to you in the first place.”

  “Too bad her kisses drew you back to her.”

  I finally finished packing my stuff and began hauling it out to my car. Trenton tried to help but I refused him. He stood in the doorway watching me. I held out the key he’d given me.

  “I wish you well on your transfer, Trenton. I hope you find everything you’re looking for.”

  “Take care of yourself, Alessandra,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I didn’t want us to end like this.”

  I lifted a shoulder. “It happens, right?” I said with more bravado than I felt. I had to go. If I didn’t, I’d be begging him to hold me. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  “Maybe.”

  And I walked away from him. I didn’t allow myself to look back. I had to move forward. I had a baby to take care of. I sat in my car for a moment, thinking about my next move. I wished I’d told him that I loved him. I wished I’d told him about the baby.

  “Tracy? Feel like having a roommate for a few days?”

  THREE YEARS LATER

  OLIVIA

  “Are you going to Kelly’s birthday party tomorrow night?”

  I looked up from the chart I was filling out to see Tracy in the doorway. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

  “Why? Glen and I are going.”

  “I don’t have anyone to watch Olivia.”

  She frowned. “I guess asking your parents is out of the question?”

  I nodded with a grin. “Yep. They aren’t really talking to me yet.”

  Tracy gave me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry boo.”