The Colonel's Baby

by Kathleen Hope

  “What?”

  “Huh?”

  “You’re staring at me,” I said. “Are you alright? Do you need pain meds?”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. And I knew he didn’t just mean for staring at me.

  I nodded and stood. “I know,” I said as I moved behind him to wheel him out of the room. He didn’t say anything as I pushed him towards the elevator. I knew he’d rather be up walking than having me push him, but he sat quietly and didn’t give me any trouble. In fact, he didn’t speak again until we were upstairs in his room. I locked the chair and moved in front of him to lower the footrest so he could stand.

  He tried to muffle a groan as he pushed himself up. His fingers gripped the armrests and he grimaced. Part of me wanted him to suffer for hurting me and demanded that he do it himself. But I’ve never been a mean person. I put my arms around him, steadying him. He put his arm around my shoulders.

  “Thank you,” he said softly. He sighed as he settled back against the pillows. “This stinks. Being helpless and all.”

  I helped him get comfortable. Without thinking, I leaned over him, tucking the blankets around his hips. He caught my wrists as I started to straighten. I looked up, meeting his gaze. We stared at each other in silence for what seemed like eternity.

  “Are you okay now?” I asked. I was surprised to hear my voice trembling.

  Trenton didn’t answer at first. Slowly, he reached out and touched my hair. I held still, not wanting to waste a moment of his touch. I’d missed him and longed to feel him close again.

  “Why did you cut your hair?” he whispered. “I liked it long and black.”

  I tossed my hair back, feeling it curl around his fingers. “I needed a change.” Suddenly, I felt bold. “You don’t like blondes?” I asked him.

  He smiled, making my heart flutter. “I do like blondes.” He let his hand slide down to cup my cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he murmured. “I know I don’t have the right to say that to you after what happened between us. But I can’t seem to forget you.”

  “So then why haven’t I heard from you? Ah yes. You were making up with Maggie.”

  “I deserved that. I broke your heart and I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. I know I can’t erase the past, but I’d like to try to make it up to you. If you want to.”

  I pulled away from him. If I let him keep touching me, though innocently, I’d be giving in. Because the truth was, I’d missed him too. And I loved him still. And I wanted him to know his daughter. But I couldn’t tell him any of that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

  “So since it didn’t work out with you and Maggie, you figure that you’ll just scoop me back? Is that what you think?”

  Trenton chewed at his lip as he looked at me. “No. I didn’t think that at all.”

  “I’m not the same girl you left behind,” I said, pulling away from his grasp. “I’m different now. There are things about me that you don’t know.”

  He leaned back against the pillows again. “I’d like to learn.”

  I frowned. “What happens the next time one of your exes comes back wanting to try again? What then?”

  “That isn’t going to happen again.”

  I started to say something else when my pager went off. It was Jason. He must be looking for me. “I have to go. I have another patient coming.”

  He sat up. “Can we talk? Please?”

  “I have to-”

  “Not now. I know you have to go. But later. Maybe when I get out of here. We can talk. And maybe we can figure out some middle ground that will make us both happy.” He reached a hand to me. “Just think about it, okay Alessandra? Please?”

  His skin was so warm against mine. I’d forgotten how nice it was to hold his hand. “Maybe,” I said finally. I wanted to talk with him more. I wanted an explanation. But more than that, I wanted to tell him I loved him. Yet, I didn’t want to seem too eager.

  And he didn’t press me. “Okay,” he answered.

  “Get some rest. I’ll see you Thursday for your next session.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Sounds good.” He paused and I turned to leave. “Alessandra?”

  I looked over my shoulder at him.

  “You really do look good.”

  I lowered my gaze. “Thanks. So do you. I-I’m glad you came home.” I pushed the wheelchair out of the room. I had to leave otherwise, I’d be in his arms. And I couldn’t let myself go again. Not without knowing why.

  Downstairs, I put the wheelchair back in its place and headed back towards the physical therapy area. My next patient was Mr. Burgess. Ugh. He was a vet who’d had a knee replacement a few months ago. He was nice but a big flirt. And he thought he was cute. None of the female therapists would be alone in a room with him. Usually Jason or one of the other male nurses would assist us. Otherwise, we’d be slapping old man hands off us.

  Jason glanced up as I came into the room. “Hey, where did you go?”

  “I took the wheelchair back.”

  His hazel eyes searched my face. “Wait, you took him back to his room?”

  I nodded and picked up Mr. Burgess’ chart. “So?”

  “Why didn’t you wait for me to come back?”

  I looked over at him. “Why are you so shook up because I took Colonel Boone back to his room? His session was done. He needed to rest.”

  “I would have-”

  “You weren’t in here,” I said, cutting him off. “It’s no big deal. Don’t make it more than it is.”

  He leaned back against the table. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “He’s Olivia’s father, isn’t he?” I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. He already knew the answer. “That’s it then,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now I get why he asked to come back here. I thought it was stupid of him to come all the way back here when there was a perfectly good hospital on the base where he was. It was for you all the time. Is that why you won’t give me a chance? Are you still sweet on him?”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “I still have feelings for him, yes.”

  “I reckon you want to get back with him?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Jason looked away from me. “What about us?”

  My heart clenched at the hurt tone in his voice. “Jason,” I began.

  But he stopped me. “Nah. Don’t say anything. I understand.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. All I ask is that we can be friends and that I can still see Olivia.”

  I smiled, relieved that he was cool with things. “Yes and yes.”

  He grinned at me. “Good. Come on. You know Mr. Burgess is anxious to see you.”

  I groaned as he pushed me inside the room.

  ______

  Trenton was discharged a week later. He still had to come back for physical therapy for another few months. I knew it bugged him to have to stay home and rest. He was an active man and was chomping at the bit to get back to work. But I was beginning to look forward to his sessions. I looked forward to seeing him. We would joke and talk like we used to. More often than not, the air would become thick with sexual tension. On those days, I had to end the session early or we’d be making love on the table.

  I finally agreed to go out to dinner with him. We talked about the things that had happened to each of us during our time apart. He confessed that Maggie had lied to him, only using his transfer as an excuse to get out of the city. I told him about working at the hospital and about other trivial things. Not once did I mention my baby. His baby. Our baby. I knew he’d be plenty pissed that I didn’t tell him about her. But I also didn’t want him to deny her either. I knew that sooner or later, I’d have to tell him.

  Sooner came quicker than I expected.

  Trenton and I were in the mini gym working. He sat on the leg extension machine, slowly lifting his legs then lowering them. His face was a study in determined concentration. He blew out
a deep breath as he lifted the bar and held his legs perfectly straight.

  “Relax,” I said softly and he lowered his legs to the starting position. “You’re doing great,” I said. “It’s hard to believe that you’re almost done with your therapy. You’ve almost completely gotten back your full range of motion.”

  “That’s good, right?”

  “Very good.” I patted him on the shoulder and lifted the bar and he swung his legs over to stand. “You were one of my better patients.”

  He grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He moved around the machine to stand in front of me. “It’s hard to swallow that I won’t have an excuse to see you and talk to you after a few more weeks.”

  “I could always add sessions,” I offered, smiling up at him.

  “That would be nice,” he murmured. “Can I hold you? I’ve wanted to for so long.”

  I nodded and he put his arms around me, pulling me close to his body. I couldn’t hold back the sigh as I wrapped my arms around his waist. Tears filled my eyes and I pressed my face into his shirtfront. His hands ran up and down my back slowly, soothingly.

  “Don’t cry, darlin’,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I’ve thought of nothing but coming back to you and begging you to take me back. I’ll do whatever I have to do to prove to you how sorry I am and how much I love you.”

  I nodded, but didn’t speak. I couldn’t. I only wanted to feel him close. If I spoke, he’d go away and I didn’t want to lose him again. Not when I was so close to getting him back.

  “I don’t know why I was so stupid as to leave you.” he continued. “All I ask is that you find it in your heart to forgive me and give me a chance to prove myself to you.” He drew back, lifting my chin with his fingers. Slowly, he lowered his head and kissed me.

  It was like coming home. I sighed against his lips and he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue along mine. We both groaned as sensation after sensation washed over us, and the flames of desire that we’d both thought were long gone exploded to life again.

  He pulled back, pressing kisses along my cheek. “I love you, Alessandra,” he whispered. “Say you’ll give me another chance.”

  “Don’t hurt me again,” I whispered. “I gave up everything for you. My family won’t even speak to me because I left with you. I can’t go through that again. Not now. I have too much to lose.”

  “I know.”

  “No. You don’t know. You have no idea. If we don’t work out this time, I have nothing.”

  He drew me back into his arms. “I won’t be a fool again. I swear it.”

  My pager went off, breaking the mood between us. I glanced down at the number. It was the day care. I glanced at Trenton.

  “I have to go. Something’s wrong. They never page me.”

  “Who?”

  I didn’t answer as I hurried from the room with Trenton at my heels. I noticed absently that he was walking so much better. But I didn’t dwell on that. Something was wrong with my baby.

  As soon as the elevator doors opened, I bolted towards the door to the day care. Trina, one of the caregivers, met me at the door.

  “Hey Lexie.”

  “What’s wrong? I just got a page. Is Olivia alright?”

  Trina held up a hand. “She’s fine. She’s running a slight fever though. But I suspect that she’s cutting some back teeth.” She smiled reassuringly at me. “Sorry about the page. Misty is new and is still learning the ropes.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God she was okay! “Where is she?”

  Trina pointed to where Irma sat holding Olivia in the rocking chair. She was reading a book to her. Olivia had her fingers in her mouth, a sure sign that she was teething as she never sucked her thumb or her fingers. I went over to them and Olivia looked up.

  “Mama,” she said, her lips trembling.

  I gently took her from Irma and hugged her close. Her body felt a bit warm and I blinked back tears. “It’s okay, baby bug,” I said, using Marco’s nickname for her. “We’ll go home and get you to bed.” I thanked Irma, as she passed me Olivia’s bag. She kissed the baby on the cheek and I turned to leave.

  And ran smack into Trenton.

  He stared at me, his eyes wide. I stared back. What could I say? Now wasn’t the time for discussions.

  “I have to get her home,” I said quietly, holding the baby close. I didn’t wait for him to answer me as I headed for the elevator. Trenton followed me, still not speaking.

  I hurried into the office I shared with Tracy and two other therapists. I sat Olivia on the floor and began packing up my stuff.

  “Whose is she?”

  Both Olivia and I looked up at the sound of the masculine voice.

  “What?”

  “Whose baby is that?”

  “She’s my baby.”

  “You know what I mean? Who’s her father?” He studied the baby for a moment. “Is that orderly her dad?”

  “Why would you think that?” I asked, shrugging the backpack over my shoulders before scooping the baby into my arms.

  “He seemed very possessive of you. Are you dating?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  Trenton raised an eyebrow. “No? Why not? He seemed to like you very much.”

  And suddenly, I was tired. Tired of hiding my feelings. Tired of being alone. Tired of people pushing me away. I turned and faced him.

  “Because he isn’t you,” I said quietly. “I don’t love him. I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been and I always will be. She’s your daughter.”

  “Mine?”

  “Yes. I found out that I was pregnant the day you told me that you were being transferred and leaving with Maggie.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was hurt and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t tell you because I figured that you’d hate me thinking that I was trying to trap you. And I didn’t think that you’d believe me if I told you I loved you.”

  His blue eyes roamed over his daughter’s face. She stared back up at him, her dark brown eyes wide. He held out his arms. “Can I hold her?”

  I nodded, feeling tears springing to my eyes. “Sure.” I passed the baby to him and he hugged her close, rubbing her back.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Olivia Dale Boone.”

  Trenton sucked in a sharp breath. “She’s mine?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh God, I’m such a fool,” he whispered. I was surprised to see tears in his eyes as he reached for me, pulling me into his arms as well. “I wasted three years of her life. I’ll make it up to both of you, I swear it. I love you. Both of you.”

  I hugged him close, kissing him gently. Olivia watched then pressed a soggy baby kiss against his cheek. Trenton laughed and her chubby face broke into a big smile.

  “Daddy?” she said, looking from me to Trenton.

  “Daddy,” I answered. I pulled out my phone and found the picture of him in his uniform and showed it to her as I’d done since she was born. “That’s your daddy,” I said softly. She looked at the picture and back to Trenton.

  “Daddy,” she said again.

  I saw his chest swell with pride as she confirmed who he was to her. “I hope you aren’t angry with me for not telling you about her,” I said. “I just didn’t know how you’d take it. Especially since you wanted to be with someone else.”

  Trenton cuddled the child, kissing the top of her head. “I am angry. But not at you. I’m angry at myself for being a selfish bastard. And for hurting the two people I love most in the world. I should have never left you. I should have taken you with me.”

  “But you came back,” I said, smiling up at him. “I’m glad.”

  He slipped an arm around my shoulders again. “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I won’t let you go again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.”

  “I want you,” I whispered. I leaned up and kissed him. The air ins
tantly became charged around us and I pressed closer to him.

  “What goes on?”

  Trenton and I pulled away from each other as Tracy came bouncing into the room. She grinned at Olivia who went readily into her arms. She looked from me to Trenton and back.

  “What’s going on?”

  He looked at me. “Maybe you should tell her.”

  “Tell me what?”

  I slid an arm around his waist. “Trenton and I are back together.”

  “So he knows?” she asked, pressing her cheek against Olivia’s soft hair.

  “He knows,” Trenton answered for me. “And he’s happier than a kid in a candy store.”

  I looked at Tracy. “I told him,” I said, knowing that she’d understand. “Everything.”

  “And how do you feel?”

  I grinned. “I’ve never felt better.”

  She smiled, hugging the baby closer. Olivia began to whimper and Trenton immediately took her from Tracy to cuddle her. Tracy watched, nodding. “I knew he’d be like that with her,” she said approvingly. She picked up my phone from the desk. “Here. Let me take a family picture.”

  Trenton put his arm around me again and I put my hand over his around the baby. She handed me the phone and I looked at my family, together for the first time in three years.

  “I’m a lucky woman,” I murmured.

  “I’m the blessed one,” Trenton answered.

  My family.

  ______

  Trenton and I decided that Mama and Papa needed to be in Olivia’s life too. We hadn’t talked in three years and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was pretty sure that they weren’t even going to open the door.

  So I was surprised when Mama not only opened the door, but invited us inside. She and Papa sat on the sofa across from Trenton and I. The four of us stared at each other, no one wanting to speak first.

  Finally, Trenton spoke. “I want to apologize if I have done anything to offend the two of you. I have apologized many times to Alessandra and have asked her forgiveness for hurting her and leaving her and my daughter alone. I want to ask your forgiveness as well. And ask for your permission to marry your daughter. I-I want to make things right. And Olivia needs her grandparents in her life.” He paused. “I’d like to marry her.”