by Mia Belle
The drive to school is mostly quiet, with me looking out the window and Dad focused on the road. He raises a few subjects, mostly about school. I’m glad he’s not talking about boys anymore. Just thinking about it makes me feel super awkward again.
A car beeps behind us and my heart skips a beat, thinking it’s Josh and his friends. But then I relax when I realize it’s an older man, probably rushing to work.
“You’re a little jumpy this morning,” Dad says, his eyes darting from the road to me, and back to the road.
I have no idea why. Maybe because a few days have passed and I haven’t seen Josh or his buddies. Maybe they really were just messing with me and don’t plan on coming after me. I need to relax.
I slump down in my seat, shrugging. “Just dealing with usual teen stuff, I guess.”
He nods slowly, and from the look on his face, I know he suspects it’s more than that. The last thing I want is to tell him I’m freaking out about Josh. That’ll only make him freak out.
The rest of the ride is silent. I bid Dad a good day, get out of the car, and head for my first class.
School passes like any other day. I forget about Josh and focus on my lessons. The guys haven’t noticed a change in me, which is great because I don’t want them to worry about me. And I don’t want our lives to revolve around Josh.
The four of us sit together at lunch like usual. Aidan and I are on one side of the table and Caleb and Zane on the other. Aidan’s been glancing at his phone every so often since we sat down with our trays of semi-decent food. Caleb checks his phone for updates on his dad, then tells us he hasn’t been spotted. Zane’s focus is on his food.
“Why is everyone so quiet?” I ask after we’ve been sitting silently for a few minutes. I turn to Zane. “Did something happen? You seem bothered.”
He shakes his head. “Just some stupid school shit. It’s no biggie.” He puffs out his cheeks. “Told my parents I’d focus on school, but it’s harder than I thought. They don’t get it. No one gets that I need to draw. Just need to.” He forces a smile. “But it’s okay, I’ll get by.”
“Do you want to go to art school?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Not sure. The thought of more schoolwork makes me want to punch something.” His eyes meet mine. “What about you? You doing the whole college thing?”
I play around with my mushy rice. “That’s what we’re supposed to do, isn’t it?”
“We’re supposed to do what we want to do,” Zane says. “It’s our lives.”
I lift a brow. “But I have no idea what I want to do.”
Aidan scoffs. “Same here. I had my whole future laid out and now I’ve got nothing.” He shakes his head. “Pathetic, really.”
“It’s not,” I argue. “You need to find something else you’re passionate about. Maybe it can even be football related, like what you’re doing with those kids.”
He doesn’t say anything as he thinks it over.
“Enough of this college and the future crap,” Zane says. “Let’s do something fun after school. Like…”
“The mall?” Caleb suggests. “I used to worry about being in public with my dad on the loose, but I don’t want to hide in the house anymore.” His sky-blue eyes skip to mine. “The same goes for your ex. If we hide, he wins.”
Zane claps him on the back. “Yep. I agree. The mall it is. What do you say, Lia?”
“I’d love to. It’s actually been a while since I’ve done something like that. Not since…” My gaze travels to the table in the center of the room, where Sophie is giggling at something Alexis said. A pang strikes my stomach, but I shove it away. Life changes and people change along with it. I just need to accept that we’re too different now.
Aidan follows my gaze and frowns, but before he can utter a word on the subject, I say, “So, right after school?”
“Sounds good,” Caleb says. “We’ll meet at your locker.”
“I can’t make it.”
Caleb, Zane, and I turn to Aidan. He says, “I’m meeting with the coach and kids at the park after school.”
“Can’t you skip?” Zane asks.
He shakes his head, his lips in a tight line. “You said you need your art, right? I need this.”
We finish up our lunch. As I’m forcing down pudding that’s more jiggly than it should be, I feel eyes on me. When I lift mine, I find Sophie watching me. Alexis is as well. They must be staring for a few minutes before I realize it’s not me they’re staring at—it’s the guys. Specifically Aidan.
If he notices it, he pretends not to. He sends me a smile like I’m the most important person in the world. I think back to what Sophie claimed the other day, that Aidan likes me. That he looks at me in a special way. My cheeks heat up. I have no idea if it’s true and honestly, I don’t want to think about it right now. With everything going on, I can’t wrap my head around a potential boyfriend. With any of the guys. And I still can’t forget the fact that Zane tried to kiss me.
The bell rings. The guys and I separate to our classes, promising to meet up later at my locker. As I head for biology, someone taps my shoulder. Turning around, I discover Sophie standing there with an unsure expression on her face.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hi.”
She swallows, tossing some strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder. “I heard Josh was released from juvie.”
I press my books to my chest at the sudden cold. “Yeah.”
She regards me for a little bit. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“I guess…you have the guys and everything.”
“Yeah.”
She looks like she wants to say more. I want to say more, but I don’t know what. How could two people who used to be inseparable suddenly have nothing to say to one another? I miss my best friend. So much it hurts.
“You know,” I start, but I’m interrupted by Alexis, who saunters up to us, her nostrils flaring as she takes me in.
“I don’t know what they see in you,” she snarls. “But he’ll come crawling to me. You’ll see.”
“He?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes. “Aidan, duh.”
“You know, maybe he’s just not interested.”
“But he’s interested in you?”
“Come on, Alexis,” Sophie says. “Let’s go to class.”
She steps closer to me, bordering on personal space. “I always get the guys I want. And I want him. So back off.”
“That’s not for you to decide,” I tell her, staring into her eyes. “It’s up to him.”
“We’ll see.” She whips her head toward Sophie. “Let’s go.” After giving me another glare, she and my former best friend stalk down the hallway.
Chapter Eight
Lia
All three Armstrong boys stand at my locker. Aidan’s face is buried in his phone. Caleb’s glancing around the halls, probably for me. Zane’s on the floor, ear buds in his ears and sketchpad on his lap.
“Hey.”
They glance up at me and smile. Aidan stuffs his phone in his pocket, Caleb gives me his full attention, and Zane rises to his feet, shutting the pad.
“Ready?” Zane asks. He turns to Aidan. “Changed your mind?”
Aidan frowns, as if he’s torn between coming with us and going to the park. As much as I would love for him to join us, I know having any semblance of a football connection is important to him.
“Maybe next time,” Aidan tells Zane. “Have fun.” He gives me a warm smile before waving and heading toward the doors.
I fetch a few books from my locker and dump them in my book bag, then the guys and I proceed toward the mall. Because our town of Willow Lake is so tiny, everything is within walking distance. The weather is a little chilly and I find myself moving closer between the guys, as though they’ll provide me with much-needed heat.
Zane’s hands are shoved in his pockets and he watches our shoulders knock into one another as we walk. Caleb, on my other side, is to
o busy scanning his surroundings to notice how close we are. It’s strange how I actually like being this close to them. A few months ago, I couldn’t imagine it, and now I can’t imagine not being with them.
Zane clears his throat. He opens his mouth to say something, then shuts it, his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes flick to our shoulders before they meet mine. There’s an intensity in them that I can’t read.
I can’t linger on that thought for too long, because at the corner of my eye, I spot four guys rushing down the block. My heart skips a beat when I recognize them as Blaze, Charlie, Emmet, and Burke. And right behind them, sauntering as if he doesn’t have a care in the world, is Josh Harrison.
I freeze in place, unable to take my gaze off them. They’re not close enough to see me, but I’ve got a clear view of them.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asks, also stopping. Zane stops as well.
Both guys follow my gaze and as soon as Zane realizes who those boys are, he stiffens, hands fisted at his sides. Caleb stares at them with angry eyes.
Zane makes a move to barge over there, but I place my hand on his arm. “Don’t.”
He grits his teeth. I wonder if he’s remembering Burke telling me to jump off a building a few weeks ago, and that’s why he’s so upset. Or maybe it’s because my ex is among them.
Josh and his friends are laughing like they own the entire town, and the fact that they’re exceptional football stars from Willow Lake Academy, they kind of do. Our school also has a great football team, but we’re not on the same level as the academy.
They disappear down the corner and I sigh in relief. Zane’s hands are still fisted and I rub them to loosen him up. “Hey,” I whisper, “it’s okay. They weren’t even close to us.”
He shakes his head. “Just the thought of them being there…of seeing them.” He clenches his jaw. “It’s enough to want to beat the living shit out of them.”
I hug my arms. “They didn’t really do anything wrong. Other than Josh, I mean.”
“They threatened to hurt you,” Zane mutters. “That’s enough to pummel them to the ground.”
“I feel the same,” Caleb says, his sky-blue eyes pasted on the spot they vanished to. “Your safety is my number one concern.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.”
Zane takes both my hands in his. “You don’t have to thank us, Amelia. I’ll do anything for you. Anything.”
Caleb nods in agreement. His eyes dip to where Zane clutches my hands and I pull out of his hold. “We’re almost there,” I tell them, continuing on toward the mall.
The place is packed, which is usual since this is the place to shop in our town. We enter a clothing store and skim the racks, pulling off items we’d never wear. We drop them into a cart, then head for the women’s dressing rooms. The guys wait outside while I try on one outfit after another. Caleb snaps pictures as I model the clothes and hats, making different poses. It’s been a while since I let loose and had fun like this. Sophie and I used to do this all the time, but that feels like ages ago.
We used to occasionally invite my mother to join us. Sophie’s mother wasn’t into this sort of thing, and while I wasn’t either, it was something I shared with my mother and best friend. My mom would urge me to buy something, even though it was a little expensive. I guess she wanted to spoil me. I hate that in recent years, Sophie and I ditched her to shop on our own. I should have cherished my moments with her.
Caleb comes over to me with a grin on his face. “These are hilarious,” he tells me, tapping through the pictures on his phone. When he notices the look on my face, the smile drops. “You okay?”
I force a smile. “Yeah. Just thinking. How did Julia’s job interview go?”
“She got the job.”
“That’s great!”
Zane’s at our side, arms stuffed with candy. He deposits them in the cart. Both Caleb and I raise eyebrows at him. He shrugs. “What? I found them near the checkout and figured we needed some chocolate.” He nods toward the stash. “And I got some for you, Lia.”
“Thanks. I think I need to get out of this dress.”
Zane scans me from top to bottom. “Why? You look beautiful in it.”
“He’s right, you do,” Caleb says. “Are you going to buy it?”
I shrug, trying to ignore the heat rising to my cheeks and the warmth spreading through me. “I’m not really into dresses. I only have a few because it’s a good idea to have them.” I tug on the hem. The dress is green, which brings out my eyes, and reaches above my knees. The guys are right that it’s beautiful, though I’m not sure if I look beautiful in it. I don’t really see myself as pretty.
Zane shoves his hands in his pockets while Caleb studies the area around him. Many women are bustling to and fro, their carts filled with clothes.
“Right, so I’m taking it off and then it’s your turn to be models.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to laugh. Because honestly? Those guys could totally be models. They definitely have the looks for it. I could see them on the cover of magazines, Zane with his striking green eyes and Caleb with his piecing blue ones. Of course Aidan would be a perfect model as well, with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes and charismatic nature.
“Okay,” Zane groans. “We’ll try them on. But um…” He looks at Caleb and Caleb looks at him. “It might be best not to take pictures. For safety and all that.”
“You sure? We won’t post them online.”
“I know, but just to be safe.” Zane’s eyes drop to the dress. “You sure you don’t want to buy that?”
I shrug. “Not really sure what I’d need it for.”
“Maybe when you go on a date,” Caleb says. “You might want something nice to wear.”
I push some curly hair out of my eyes. “Oh, I guess. Maybe one day I might want to go out and…” I clear my throat, averting my gaze. My heart hammers in my chest, my brain yelling at me to buy the dress. And it shoots an image of me and Zane under the sunset, sitting side by side and drawing. I’m wearing the dress and he’s got on a tight T-shirt that emphasizes the muscles in his chest. His lips are less than an inch away from mine…
Then the image shifts to me and Caleb, sitting at a table with two candles and eating from the food he and I prepared for our date. Again, I’m wearing the dress and he’s got on a pretty blue dress shirt to match his eyes and black slacks.
“Lia?” he whispers, his face inching closer to mine. I glance down at his lips, preparing myself to feel them press against mine. “Are you okay?”
I blink and the images are gone. Both Zane and Caleb stand before me, their faces flashing with curiosity and concern. “Lia?” Caleb repeats.
My face is a furnace now. How could I fantasize about kissing a guy—no, two guys—like that? It’s never happened to me before. And besides, I’m not ready for a boyfriend right now. Why can’t my heart understand that?
I force a laugh. “Sorry, my brain left for a few seconds.”
They join in my laughter, but it’s a little awkward, like they suspect I’m hiding something. I distract them by leading them to the men’s dressing room, where they vanish inside with a heap of clothes.
I lower myself on the nearby chair and tap through my phone. Caleb texted the pictures to me, and I smile at how ridiculous I look in some of the outfits. I text a few to Aidan. Several seconds pass before he responds with a laughing emoji.
Caleb and Zane appear before me, Caleb in a leather jacket and leather pants and Zane in clothes and shoes so large he looks like a clown.
Caleb can hardly walk in his tight leather pants as he marches toward the mirror. He turns to the right and left, examining himself. “Hmm, not bad, but not very comfortable.”
Zane scowls. “I have no idea why I volunteered to put these on. I’m changing.” He slips back into the room.
Caleb inches toward me. “So, Lia, like a guy in leather?” He flashes me his girl-melting smile.
I laugh. “I think I prefer normal C
aleb.”
He laughs, too, then frowns. A hollow look overtakes his face as he plays with the lapels of his jacket. “You know, my dad used to take me costume shopping with him when he had a performance coming up. Maxwell the Magnificent’s costumes had to be amazing, and he always loved my input. Not sure if he ended up wearing what I chose, but it made me feel important, you know?”
I stand next to him. “My mom and I used to go shopping all the time, so I know how you feel. Who would have thought that something as simple as the mall would bring back all these memories?”
“Yes, but your mother was an amazing person. My dad was…he still is…” He shakes his head like he can’t get the words out. “I’d better change.” He sends me another smile before ducking into the dressing room.
The guys spend some time goofing off with their outfits. We laugh as we leave the clothing store and head for the ice cream shop nearby.
Chapter Nine
Caleb
Lia, Zane, and I are eating our ice cream. I’ve had ice cream many times in my youth, but there’s something about being with Lia and my cousin that shifts something inside me. Maybe it’s this whole day, not just this moment. Being together, letting go of all my worries and the stress. Just living in the moment. When I’m with Lia, I don’t think about my dad or my mom. I’m not the son of a mass murderer. I’m Caleb Armstrong, chef-to-be and maybe, maybe one day, a magician.
I shut my eyes for a second. No. I won’t allow my thoughts to go there.
“Hey, Caleb.” Zane taps my arm. “You’re dripping ice cream everywhere.”
I quickly lick the oozing cream, patting the mess with a napkin. Lia laughs as hers does the same, and for some reason, I wish we were sharing the same cone. Stupid, I know.
“You seem deep in thought,” Zane says, already done his ice cream and starting on his second. “What’s up?”
I swipe some more milky mess from the table, shrugging. “Nothing special. I uh…” I look at Lia, then away, feeling insecure about what I did before we left the clothing store. What was I thinking? That’s something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, and Lia made it perfectly clear that she’s not ready for a boyfriend.