by Mia Belle
He might not have his family’s support like I do. I need to be a friend to him.
“Aidan,” a voice calls in the distance.
Lifting my head, I find Lia sitting on her front porch. Have I already reached my house?
I think back to the many girls who pressed their bodies against mine on the dance floor. I think about April and all the other girls who flung themselves at me.
It kills me how much I wish Lia and I could…
“Hey,” she says. “Want to sit?”
The thought of being so close to her but not being able to touch her or tell her how I feel about her tears me up from inside. I understand she’s been through a lot, especially with her ex-boyfriend. That’s why I don’t want to push. I just wish I could tell her how I feel. Guess I’m too afraid.
“Sorry, Lia. Maybe another time.”
“Okay, good night.”
There’s no hiding the disappointment from her eyes, and as much as I want to sit with her, I know it’ll only hurt me.
I nod and head for my house.
Chapter Seventeen
Lia
I spot the guys on the bleachers and hurry over to them. My head whips from right to left to check if anyone is around, but it’s hard to see past all the spectators who are here to watch the football game.
I feel like someone’s watching me, but I’m probably being paranoid.
Zane pats the seat between him and Caleb, and I sit down. “We got ya something.”
Caleb produces a huge cone with cotton candy and offers it to me. My eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. I’ve never seen such huge cotton candy before.
“It took me weeks to perfect it,” he tells me.
I gape at it as I take it from him. “You made this?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. Any good?”
I grab a chunk and dump it into my mouth. “It’s delicious, Caleb.”
His cheeks flash pink for a few seconds. “Thanks.”
“Can I have some?” a voice says. When I turn around, I find Alexis, Sophie, and their friends sitting in the row behind us. “It’s so cool that you made it.” Alexis gives Caleb a flirty smile.
“Sorry,” he says. “I only made one for Lia.”
Alexis narrows her eyes at me. “That’s nothing but sugar anyway.” She flips her hair. “You might want to cut down a little.”
I narrow my eyes back at her. “Maybe you should cut back with that attitude. You’re always buzzing around us like an annoying bee.”
Alexis’s eyes widen. So do Sophie’s and the rest of their crew. I feel Zane chuckling from right next to me.
“Whatever,” Alexis snarls.
The game begins and the crowd cheers. I share my cotton candy with the guys, clap along with the others, and try to have a good time. I’m still not one hundred percent okay with football, but I’m getting better. Maybe because the guys are here. The more time I spend with them, the less I think about Josh and everything that happened.
“I don’t know what they see in you,” Alexis whispers in my ear. “You’re not pretty, you’re boring. There really isn’t anything special about you.”
I turn around to tell her to leave me the hell alone, when someone scores a touchdown and the crowd goes wild. I’m swept up with the guys, pushed to my feet to cheer along with the others.
I forget about Alexis’s hard eyes on my back. I forget about Josh and everything I’ve been through this year. It’s just me, the guys, and the game.
Aidan wears a wide smile as we sit down, his eyes glued to the football players running around the field. I feel the yearning consuming him, but at the same time, an expression of peace overwhelms him as well. I know it’s attributed to his afternoons helping coach those little kids.
During halftime, the guys and I discuss the game, Aidan’s eyes shining as he recalls memories of when he played. Alexis butts into the conversation here and there, but then her friends distract her with the hot football players from the other team and she leaves us to go flirt with them.
Sophie remains in the seat behind us, her fingers curled on her lap, her gaze on mine. She looks like she wants to say something to me, but then her eyes flick to the guys and she goes to join her new friends. It still stings that we’re not talking to each other, but I’m surprised it doesn’t hurt me as much as it used to.
Aidan and Caleb excuse themselves to go to the bathroom, and it’s just Zane and me.
He grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I really don’t like football. But I’m glad I’m here with you.” He gestures around. “And look, I didn’t even bring my sketchpad.”
My eyes bug out playfully. “Oh no. The world’s coming to an end.”
Chuckling, he gently pokes his elbow into my ribs. “You’re cute when you tease me, so I’ll take it.” He frowns. “Wanna ditch the others and get out of here?”
“No.”
He laughs again. “Just kidding. How long do these games take, anyway?”
“Don’t worry, it’s not that much longer. And you really don’t have to come to future games if you don’t want to.” I shrug. “I know you only came because you want to look out for me, but I can take care of myself.”
His fingers are still wrapped over mine and he gives my hand another squeeze. “I know you can. And I’m not here because I want to look out for you. I want to hang out with you.” He smiles crookedly. “How’s that drawing of me coming along?”
I groan. “Ugh, not good at all. Actually, I’ve kind of been busy with other things and haven’t really had a chance to work on it.”
“No worries. It’s not like I’m forcing you to draw. Just thought I’d share a big part of myself with you.”
I gaze into his eyes. “I know, and thanks.” I lift a brow. “And maybe we can stop by the library and you can borrow my favorite romance novel.”
“What?”
I laugh. “Kidding. It doesn’t have to be romance, but we’re totally going to the library to get you a book.”
He twists his nose. “The library? People still go there?”
“Yep. You can always read an ebook, but it’s not the same. So make room in your schedule, Zane Armstrong, because I’m taking you on a voyage you’ve never been on before.”
He gives me a look like I’ve lost my mind.
“Books open your mind to different worlds and possibilities,” I explain.
“Can I pass?”
Now it’s my turn to give him a look. “Come on. They’re not so bad.”
“Okay, if it means that much to you.”
I playfully slap him in the chest. “You’ll thank me. You’ll see.”
He chuckles, the sound a low rumble in his stomach. I’m about to tell him to quit making fun of me, when Caleb and Aidan return.
I pull my hand out of Zane’s, immediately feeling coolness sweep all over me. Zane’s leg brushes mine as the game resumes, and when his gaze catches mine, he gives me a warm smile.
After the game, the guys and I head to the nearby diner for some food. We chat about random things, and laugh when Zane challenges Aidan to a hamburger eating contest. Aidan only manages to scarf down three while Zane consumes five. He raises his fist triumphantly in the air.
I catch the girls at the surrounding tables staring at the guys in the same way the girls at school do. But none of the Armstrong boys seems to notice. Their attention is on me and me alone.
***
I’m in Dad’s room the next morning putting away his laundry, when I peek into Aidan’s room next door. It’s empty. He probably went out again.
It seems like forever since we’ve hung out. I know we went to the football game together yesterday, but we didn’t really talk. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. I miss him.
I’m in the middle of folding my dad’s socks when a voice says, “Hey.”
Glancing up, I find Aidan sitting at his desk chair, a small ball in his hand. He tosses it toward the ceiling, then catches it in one swift moti
on.
“I thought you went out to help coach the little kids,” I say.
“Not today. I don’t really have anything to do.”
I lift a brow. “What if I tell you that you do?”
“What?”
I drop my dad’s socks in the drawer, shut it with my hip, and slide toward the window. Aidan moves to his.
“How about a picnic, just you and me?” I say.
His eyebrows lift. “A picnic?”
“Yeah. It’s been forever since we’ve hung out together.”
Guilt pricks his eyes. “I know, sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re feeling good about football again. I just thought we could spend the day together since you have no plans. I don’t have plans, either.”
I think back to a few nights ago, when he seemed to avoid me after I asked him to sit with me on the porch. I hope he doesn’t plan on avoiding me today.
He brushes his hand through his short hair, seeming a little uncomfortable. My stomach pangs as I try to think what could have possibly shifted between us. Why are we so distanced from each other?
“So you want to go on a picnic,” he says. “Never done that before.”
“Really? I did many times. When my mom was alive, we used to…” My voice trails off as the memories engulf me. Every Sunday for lunch in the summer, Mom would make her famous sandwiches—PB&J for me, chicken salad for her and Dad. And she’d always make sure to pack a dessert. I remember how much fun it was trying to figure out what she baked each time.
“Lia?” Aidan pulls me out of my thoughts.
I force a smile. “The weather’s nice for October, so I figured we should take advantage of it.”
“Sure, sounds like fun. Do I need to do anything?”
“Nope. I’ll take care of the food. Just bring yourself.”
He’s quiet for a bit. “What kind of food?”
“Sandwiches and dessert.”
“And you’re going to make it all? Let me take care of the dessert.”
“Deal. I was thinking maybe around like three in the afternoon?”
He nods. “Sounds like a plan. I promise I’ll bake the best cake you’ve ever eaten in your life.”
I laugh. “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. See you soon.” I turn away from the window, then face him. “What kind of sandwich do you want? I’m making PB&J for myself, since that brings back good memories. What about you?”
“PB&J sounds perfect.” He smiles. “I’m really looking forward to this, Lia. Thanks for inviting me.”
We share another smile before slipping away from our windows. I quickly finish up with the laundry and get started on those sandwiches. There’s some time before I have to meet up with Aidan, but I need to make sure the food is perfect. And I need to find something nice to wear and figure out what to do with this crazy, unmanageable hair.
Chapter Eighteen
Zane
I rummage around in my room for my dumbbells. Weird. I could have sworn I dumped them at the bottom of my closet, same as I do every time I’m done working out. They’re not small enough to be lost in this mess of a room, but I guess they decided to play hide-and-seek today.
I push my crap aside, ignoring the boxes filled with the stuff from my former life, before I became an Armstrong—well Bowman. I hate looking at the box, hate that I still have it. Why did I bring it with me? Should have left it back in New York with all the other items we left behind.
Aidan can never part with those football trophies, even though it hurts him to look at them. Caleb is the same with his magic. But me? I can throw my shit out the window and not feel one bit remorseful. The past is the past, buried behind a locked door, never to be opened.
As I reach to push more things aside, my sleeve is pulled back and the scars creep into my line of vision. I definitely don’t want to think about that right now. So I shove random things into my mind, most of which revolve around the girl next door. The girl who drives me crazy. I’ve never felt like this about anyone, never came close to having a girlfriend. No one has ever bothered to try to get to know me. They just saw me as this antisocial dude, and the truth is, I never let them in. But it was different with Lia. It was me who was determined to get to know her. And now I’m glad I did. I can’t imagine not having her in my life, even if it pains me that we can’t be more than friends.
I get to my feet when I conclude the dumbbells aren’t here. I walk down the hall until I reach Aidan’s room and look inside. He’s sitting on his chair, shirtless, a dumbbell in each hand. He appears in pain as he lifts them, his eyes so wide they’re about to pop out of his face. Sweat shines on his forehead and his chest. He looks seconds away from collapsing. Man. How long has he been going at it?
Strutting over, I grab them from his hands. “You’re going to pop a blood vessel.”
He swipes his face with a towel as I lower the dumbbells to the floor. “Got carried away.”
“No shit,” I say. “Why the sudden interest in working out?”
He shrugs. “I don’t want to lazy around all day watching TV and stuffing my face with chips. And anyway, the doctors said I should be active.”
“Yeah, but they never said you should over do it.” I hand him a water bottle from the table and he gulps it down.
“Thanks. Sorry I stole them.” He nods at the dumbbells.
I wave my hand. “You know it’s fine.”
He reaches for them. “I’ll be done in half an hour.”
“Don’t overwork yourself, man.”
“I know, thanks.”
I watch him for a few seconds, glad he’s being active again. I just hope he doesn’t go overboard.
Slipping out of his room, I return to mine and am about to grab my sketchpad and sit in my window, when I notice my phone is flashing with a notification. I scan the screen. There are two missed calls from an unknown number. Shrugging, I toss my phone on the bed and get comfy in the window.
Lia doesn’t seem to be in her room. The only reason I know it’s okay to peek into her room is because her blinds are pulled up. It’s become a little sign—as long as her blinds are up, I have the okay to look inside.
Her pajamas are strewn on the bed, and I notice a pile of clean clothes there as well. Looks like she’s finally all caught up with laundry.
I flip to a new page in my sketchpad and start on a new drawing of Lia. In this drawing, there’s a guy at her side, one with dark hair, holding her hand and gazing at her as though she’s his world.
My heart feels heavy, but I push through, ignoring the ache deep in my chest.
Chapter Nineteen
Aidan
Once I’ve finished working out, I drop off the dumbbells with Zane, take a shower, then make my way downstairs. I still have a few hours until my picnic with Lia. Honestly, I was a little unsure about it when she first raised the topic. It’s too hard for me to be so close to her. But then I decided that not being with her only hurts us both. I have to put her needs before my own, no matter how desperately I wish we could move out of the friend zone.
I pass the living room, where Mom and Dad are watching a black and white movie on TV. Those are my mom’s favorites. She and her grandmother used to watch them together when she was little.
“Hey,” I say from the doorway. Both parents turn around. Mom pats the spot next to her on the sofa.
I drop down. “I need to talk to you guys.”
Mom pauses the movie, and both parents pin their attention on me.
“I was wondering if I can play football again.”
They exchange a glance. “Aidan—” Dad starts.
I throw my hands up. “I know the doctors said I shouldn’t play again, but what if they’re wrong? What if I can play but I’m throwing my future away?”
Mom places her hand on my shoulder. “Honey, I know this is hard for you, but we’ve discussed this endlessly with many different doctors. All have told us the same thing. We can’t risk another
injury to your head.”
I bend forward, pressing my palms to my cheeks. “That was last year. What if things changed?”
“Aidan—” Dad starts again.
“Can’t you talk to more doctors? I’ll meet with as many as it takes. I can get stronger, return to how I used to be. I want to play football again. Please.” It shocks me how much my voice trembles.
My parents exchange another glance. Dad rubs his hand down his face, his chest heaving like this is too hard for him. “Aidan, I don’t want you to get disappointed. I don’t want to put you through that.”
“Just talk to them. It’s all I’m asking.”
From the expressions on their faces, I know they think it’s useless. But I’m not one to give up, especially when it comes to the sport I love. If I don’t get back into it, I may seriously go out of my mind. The only thing that’s keeping me sane right now—other than the hope that I could play again—is the picnic with Lia.
“Okay,” Dad relents. “We’ll talk with them. But I want you to promise me one thing. That you’ll accept the doctors’ decision, even if it’s not the answer you’re looking for. And that you’ll move on and live your life happily.”
I swallow the rock in my throat. Live happily without football? Doesn’t seem possible. But I nod to my dad because what other choice do I have? If the doctors tell me I can’t play again, would I keep playing with the guys?
I get to my feet. “Thanks.”
Mom pats my hand, giving me a reassuring smile. They want me to be happy again, and I’ll try—for them.
I leave the living room and enter the kitchen, my eyes roaming the area for one of Mom’s cookbooks. She doesn’t use them often, and since Caleb takes care of the cooking now, they’re buried somewhere in the cabinets.