Gaming the System

by P A Wikoff

  “It’s not just that. Grinders are people who only advance their statistic trees and nothing else. They primarily aim to unlock perks by reaching particular statistic landmarks,” Po elaborated.

  “Boring AF, if you ask me. They can’t do anything other than basic attacks. No special powers, no spells…nothing,” MacGavin stated plainly.

  “Correct. Hence all the grinding. It’s the only thing they’re good at,” Po concluded.

  “Moogi. (The Oversized Earwig has bled to death. You gain 3 experience points.)”

  “Wait, what boss are we going after?” Po asked, but judging by the worry on his face, it was apparent that he already knew.

  “Ambrose,” I said, finally revealing the secret of our whole adventure.

  “Nope. I’m out,” Po said.

  “Yes! The crusher! I knew we were all going to wipe. Double ply,” MacGavin said.

  “I know that guy. He was a bad date,” Camber said, holding up her hand.

  I didn’t know if it was me, but it seemed like Camber was starting to sober up a little. “Did you learn anything from your encounter with it?” I asked her.

  “Ammy was dangerous, yet surprisingly gentle. Only he never called me afterward.”

  Why did I even bother? It was exhausting dealing with so many people at once. I felt like a parent trying to watch over a bunch of toddlers, and one of them was extremely drunk.

  “Look, I’ve heard he has some amazing drops. I bet we all need those items to leave this place, right?” I reasoned.

  “Well, duh. It’s uncrippled,” Po said.

  “What does that mean, ‘uncrippled’?” I asked.

  “The first time a boss spawns, it’s really hard…”

  “And has legendary drops,” MacGavin added.

  “Yes, but after the boss dies, it gets…”

  “Nerfed so flippin’ hard, just so all the lesser fools can get a chance at it,” MacGavin interrupted again.

  “That’s where you get limiteds—slaying an uncrippled,” Po finished.

  “Or stealing them. Right, Daemon dawg?” MacGavin asked with his encouraging eyebrows.

  “So, what you’re saying is that no one has killed Ambrose before?”

  “No way. That guy is a boss-ass boss,” MacGavin said.

  “Look at us all. Do you really think we have a chance?” Po pointed out the obvious.

  We had our first moment of silence since we started this little band. Everyone looked around at the person next to them.

  Fog started to roll through the forest, making our visibility more limited than it already was. This was looking bleak at best, and devastatingly hopeless at worst.

  “I still have the questie. Want me to share it with you crazy cats?” Camber asked.

  “Yes, do it!” MacGavin said.

  “Moogi. (Camber has shared a quest, Free the Forest Slave, accept?”)”

  I nodded at Moogi.

  We all looked at Po, waiting for him to accept the quest along with the rest of us.

  “GDF members have been trolling this area for far too long, and if we get this gear, we’re going to be able to drive them out, once and for all. Wouldn’t you like to move on from this zone eventually, not only for ourselves, but for all those lost souls inside the mansion?” I said, pulling the hero card.

  “I suppose there are some places that would be nice to see,” Po said, making a contemplative face.

  “Typically, I don’t do second dates, but we’re going to be famous,” Camber interjected.

  “See, Camber gets it. Thank you. Now, how about it, guys? Ready to beat a boss?”

  “You know me, I’m always down to clown. This is going to be wicked tight,” MacGavin said.

  “What do you say, Po. I think we need our third tank.”

  Kicking at the ground, Po was really having a tough time with this. “All right…but only if I get to loot first, okay?” Po extended his arm to me with an open palm.

  “Deal,” I said, shaking his hand.

  “Moogi. (You have assigned Po loot priority.)”

  And just like that, we were back on track, slaughtering our way through the forest.

  After we had cleared most of the Twisted Forest, we were nearly at our destination. Even though we had found our groove with the earwigs, the doom eels that came in with the mist were an entirely different story. Especially since everyone was wearing their worst gear. Two rooms away from the boss room, we had to stop and heal up.

  MacGavin used some of his first aid crafting skill to mend everyone up the best he could. Yes, that was his big healing skill—crafting bandages.

  The problem was that we were still only at around sixty percent of our hit points. We decided to rest and recover more HP.

  In an attempt to earn the role as the party’s second healer and maybe speed things up a bit, I used this opportunity to summon an instant healing potion. With a big grin, I wiggled my potion in front of MacGavin.

  “Hey! That’s mine,” Camber yelled while patting herself down.

  “Huh?” I flinched as she snatched the potion out of my hand.

  “What gives? You could have asked.”

  “Busted,” MacGavin said.

  Camber popped the cork and smelled it. “You ruined it.” She poured the contents of my potion on the ground.

  “Stop acting like a psycho,” I deflected.

  “What is everyone going on about?” I asked.

  “He doesn’t know,” Po said.

  “Know what?”

  “As a summoner, you don’t actually create potions, or items, or gear. You steal them from other people and places, mostly crafters. Judging by Camber’s reaction, I think you just turned one of her bottles into a healing potion,” Po explained.

  “It was my drinky drink,” she said.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. How about I owe you one, okay?”

  She gave me an affirming smile.

  “Moogi. (You are indebted to Camber for one adult beverage.)”

  Moogi went back to playing a game of checkers or chess with MacGavin, using leaves and rocks as counters.

  By now, our hit points had slowly crept up to around seventy percent. If only Camber hadn’t wasted the potion, we could have each taken a sip and been on our way.

  Bored, I noticed that my experience tattoo had gone up to 1422/1300. That meant I could level up after this boss fight, if we survived it anyway. Well, even if we all died like MacGavin predicted, I had one free rebirth with Erilyn remaining. I really had nothing to lose.

  Once our hit points were full, we all stood up, ready for action.

  “It is now or never,” Po said, activating some sort of aura that visibly increased our muscle mass and strength.

  Why wasn’t he using that skill all along.

  I wasn’t sure what Camber’s ability was, but she had a swashbuckler sword at her hip but chose to use her staff instead.

  MacGavin, on the other hand, was a tank class. Even when he tried not to be, monsters fled to him like he was a celebrity streamer.

  “So, what’s the plan?” Po asked.

  “We clear this last room, then give it all we’ve got,” I said, hoping no one knew I had no real plan beyond that.

  “Okay, ‘pick up group’ on three.”

  We circled up and put our hands in.

  “One. Two. Three…”

  A flying star the size of a dinner plate flew from across the room and hit MacGavin squarely in the chest for fifteen damage…

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Dream Club

  O ur buddy Xander had returned, only this time he was wearing all of the fine gear I thought he had previously removed. Wasn’t it his idea to unequip the stuff all along?

  “Give me that jeweled…dagger of yours,” Xander demanded, while Po and Camber tended to MacGavin’s wound. They were trying to remove the large star from his chest, but something wasn’t right.

  “We didn’t mean to ditch you, Xander. After you took off
, we had no way of getting in touch. You really should have added us to your friends list,” I said, trying to reason with him as he reloaded another star in his shooter, which looked similar to a medium-sized crossbow.

  “Don’t be…stupid. I saw through your little mask…a mile away. That’s the only reason why I came…with you…idiots.”

  “Who’s wearing a mask?” Camber asked with a tilt of her head.

  I was really starting to worry about her mental health.

  Xander ignored her question, giving me a shifty-eyed glare. “What’ll it be? Hand over the gear, or…die?”

  The bounty was on the contingency of killing me and then taking the weapon off my cold dead corpse. So, that meant that Xander wanted the weapon for himself, or was lying about letting me go.

  “Don’t do it, Manwich. That limited is worth more than both our lives,” MacGavin said, holding on to his chest.

  “I don’t think you want me to take it the hard way…by looting it off your…corpse,” Xander said.

  Little did he know I was quite used to dying, and his threats were falling on deaf ears.

  *Xander can’t take us all on, even all geared up. He must be stalling for reinforcements or something,* Po broadcasted.

  *That makes sense. I am betting it’s because we’re so close to the boss,* I said in broadcast. I realized that once we got trapped in the next room, he might not be able to rob us blind.

  *His shot was fired with some chicken-shit crippling skill. Once it expires, I should be good to go. Then it’s pound town, population one,* MacGavin said in broadcast.

  *I will buy us some time, then,* I broadcasted.

  “Is this what you want?” I held my glorious dagger above my head for everyone to clearly see.

  “That’d be…the one.”

  “Come and get it.” I took off running into the next room—straight towards the boss.

  *Don’t follow me,* I broadcasted over the group link.

  *What are you up to?* Po asked.

  *I’m going to draw him into the boss room.*

  *Don’t you want to wait for us?* Camber asked.

  *The boss room locks. We’ll both be trapped in there. Once we both die, I’ll use a portal to get back here.*

  *That is very noble of you. Good luck,* Po broadcasted.

  Four earwigs were guarding the boss’s entrance. One of them looked different than the others.

  “Moogi! (Sally!)”

  So it was. I hesitated for a second. Too bad this wasn’t the time nor the place to exterminate our old rival.

  Moogi and I shared a look as a new plan formed.

  “Moogi? (Trust me?)”

  “With my life.”

  “Moogi. (Then try and keep up.)”

  I put all my faith into my friend and chased it around the edge of the room. It was hard to focus on exactly what Moogi was doing while earwigs were attacking me from all angles. I had to keep my head down and try not to get too distracted.

  In a full-on sprint, we circled around the ‘wigs, getting all their aggro at once. If we played this wrong, they could easily drop me in a single round of combat. I didn’t have a lot of hit points to play with, even at full.

  Moogi was swift, and I was doing my best to keep up.

  Xander entered the room and let loose a star shot right into one of the earwigs, dropping it down to critically wounded, but not dead.

  *There has been a change in plans. Just get ready to fight—either the boss if I succeed, or Xander if I don’t.*

  *Get some,* MacGavin broadcasted.

  *Who’s Xander?* Camber asked via the group broadcast.

  With a conga line of four earwigs at my back, I followed Moogi straight towards Xander. I swiped my dagger towards his chest.

  He sidestepped me, and when I stopped, I took a couple hits from the enemies following behind me.

  Xander was fast and unpredictable. He was nothing like fighting a scripted monster.

  Moogi had anticipated Xander’s move and was already standing around him, but I lost my rhythm. I had taken liberties by swiping at him, and that was my big mistake.

  Xander was pulling back the string of his star shooter.

  I knew I was a sitting duck. There was only one way out of here. Leaping high in the air, I ran across the top of the earwig train, stepping on one bug-car at a time. Sally managed to bite my foot for four damage, but I kept on moving down the line.

  I felt a gust of wind as a projectile zoomed past my head. That was a real close one. Once I reached the end, I jumped off the last earwig—catching up with Moogi, who was already bounding around for another pass.

  I paid close attention to my guide this time around as it jumped through Xander, showing me exactly where to strike.

  Launching at Xander, I knew I had him, and judging by the look on his face, he knew it too.

  With everything I had, I plunged the dagger directly into his body, only it wasn’t his body anymore. Instead there was a husk that resembled a stuffed burlap statue of him—similar to the practice dummies I’d seen, except it was wearing real armor, Xander’s armor.

  This must have been his tanking play style—creating dummies to replace himself. But where did he go? I couldn’t afford to figure it out. I dropped to the ground with Moogi, as we both knew what was coming next.

  Sure enough, another star soared above us and killed one of the earwigs in a one shot. The remaining three earwigs seemed too interested in the husk to notice or care. I got the feeling that this dummy tank was going to ruin Moogi’s whole plan.

  Xander had to reload, we both knew. So, I jumped up and followed Moogi in what looked to be some kind of a snatch and grab motion. Doing what I was told, I tucked the Xander dummy under my arm and dashed to the right.

  Another star came at me but luckily went into his other self, almost like it was drawn to it.

  The dummy was quite heavy, but I had barely enough arm strength to carry it. If I hadn’t put that one extra point into Strength during character creation, this plan wouldn’t have worked.

  First, Moogi spotted Xander and brought me right to him. He was wearing a lighter set of gear now, since it seemed he left all the tanking gear on his husk. He began to glow in preparation for something big.

  Instead of instructing me to go after Xander, Moogi made a chopping motion, then slapped its own behind and pointed at my target.

  I knew exactly what it wanted me to do. Sally and the remaining earwigs came at me. I circled around one as if it were my dance partner, and I was just close enough to lightly slice into Sally’s backside.

  The maneuver did moderate damage. Which was just enough to cause her to go into an all-out rage.

  In the past, I’d witnessed regular earwigs freak out after getting hit in the back. Sally was like that, but at a whole new level. Her eyes bugged out. Viscous goo spat out of her gaping maw. She was fast like lightning, and she was coming right for me.

  I abruptly stopped, narrowly avoiding Sally’s ram attack.

  Moogi made a tossing motion then said, “Moogi. (Ditch the mask.)”

  Knowing what was to come next, I threw the dummy at Xander’s feet while ripping off my mask, just as Moogi had instructed.

  We both cringed, hoping she would take the bait.

  Unfortunately, Xander finished casting his special burst attack, which sprayed a volley of arrows that hit everything and everyone.

  “Moogi… (1,2,3,1,2,3…)”

  The damage was too much to add up.

  Even with my armor resisting a bit of the damage, there were far too many hits for me to take. My hit points went down to below zero, and I fell to the ground, along with the earwig that was first wounded.

  Sally caught Xander with her mega pincher attack, pinning him to the ground. Watching her work was a lot better from this vantage point.

  *Help. I’m dying,* I broadcasted over the group link.

  The only other remaining earwig joined Sally in a double pincher attack. Both of them w
ere squeezing down on him hard, but his light armor was protecting him from getting cut in half. He was taking damage, though—a lot of it.

  A moment later, MacGavin came to the rescue, growing his fist to the size of a small child. Spikes and other protrusions jutted out of it, creating a massive extension of his body.

  With a downward pounding strike, MacGavin smashed into Xander and the two remaining earwigs with a devastating blow. The ground rumbled and shook loudly. This was the first time I had seen MacGavin without a casual smile on his face. He was deadly serious, and after that massive hit, Xander was seriously dead—along with Sally and the last remaining earwig.

  Xander hadn’t been left bleeding to death, like I was. That attack was an express ticket to the afterlife, with no stopovers.

  “Moogi. (Your party has killed the player Xander. You have been rewarded 330 experience points. Xander has left the party.)

  This was what MacGavin’s class was supposed to do, not fire some busted bow at close range. He was a brute, a machine, a facking monster.

  *That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!* I broadcasted.

  “Moogi! (Me too!)”

  I didn’t realize that Moogi was eavesdropping on our broadcast link. Then again, it was my menu asset. It could always just check the chat logs. I was so used to talking to it, I kept forgetting that part.

  Heaving and trying to regain his composure. MacGavin’s arm started to shrink down to its normal size.

  Po tended to my wounds with one of MacGavin’s make-shift bandages. It wasn’t great, but it stopped me from bleeding out. Slowly but surely, my hit points started to go up towards the positive.

  *What class are you anyway, Mac?* I asked the broadcast. It seemed that I still couldn’t speak while my life was in the negative.

  “Juggernaut. DPS spec, I am guessing,” Po said.

  “Yeah, I went full growth path,” MacGavin said, rubbing the arm that had just been stretched out.

  “I thought you were a tank?” I noticed that MacGavin was now wearing Xander’s tanking chest armor, and Po, his leggings.

  “I get that a lot. It’s because I need to wear heavy armor so that it can withstand all the abuse my body puts it through.”

  “Moogi. (I took the liberty of looting you this: Spiked Pauldrons. Weight: 200. Item quality: Uncommon. Resistance 2.”)