Junkers Season Two

by Benjamin Wallace

Hailey caught herself staring and turned away.

  “And friend Hailey. You watch the night for your friends. I wish I could calm your fears.”

  “You’re doing everything you can, Thorne.” Hailey said. “Thank you.”

  “I regret that I cannot do more. If I could but snap my fingers and make them appear, I would not hesitate to do so. As it is, I do not have such power. But I have ordered the great beacon lit.” Thorne turned and waved his arm to the massive tower that stood in the middle of PrimEvil Land.

  Several Fengali climbed the structure with blazing torches in their hands. Once they reached the top they set fires across a brazier several times larger than the one that lit the village. The flames spread, igniting a massive signal fire that would be visible across the park.

  “Good,” Thorne said as the fire grew. “Now those still loyal to the sacred guest experience will come. And we will talk. More help is on the way.”

  “Who will come, Thorne?” Kat asked.

  “It is hard to tell, my sweet Kat. We have not set the beacon alight for many years. I have my hopes that all who still are able to will make their way. But I fear we have lost many. Neither I, nor loyal Shashanna, have lain our mighty eyes on the TraceRacers in some time. I fear the Presidents are too busy fighting amongst themselves to send a representative.” He grew silent for a moment and when he spoke again it was with a more somber tone. “Those in Enchantasia have long been silent.”

  Kat put a hand on his shoulder. “They will come, Thorne.”

  Thorne took Kat in his arms and they became lost in one another’s eyes.

  “Great,” Hailey said. “So no one.”

  “If any of Blaxxton’s men survive, they will honor the truce. And we can always count on the Monkeynauts.”

  Hailey looked back into the park. “Perfect. More monkeys,” she grumbled to herself, hoping the Fengali did not hear.

  17

  The view from the rocket ship was unsettling. It was partly the height that made it so, and partly the fact that the ship was at the top of an unsettled Ferris wheel that had a tendency to rock and sway with the slightest breeze.

  The monkey had assured them that the climb to the vantage point was easy.

  And it was. For a monkey.

  But every foot Jake and Savant had climbed felt like it would shake the ride free of its tenuous hold and send them spinning toward the ground.

  Commander Mike had bounded from one side of the wheel to the other, grabbing various struts and beams with his tail as he went. He would hang for a brief moment and chirp something encouraging at Jake. “We’ll be able to see the whole park from here.” Or, “We’ll find your friends.” Or, “It’s not that high, there’s no need to cry.”

  Savant had moved cautiously but confidently while telling stories of rock-climbing weekends that Jake ignored while barely moving at all. He tested each hand and foothold several times before he was confident enough to slowly reach for another. Jumping with a computer controlled skydiving rig was one thing. Climbing an abandoned Ferris wheel was something else entirely.

  Commander Mike’s frantic pace unnerved him, Savant’s lack of fear annoyed him, and the camera drones hovering about were one more distraction he didn’t need.

  The final step into the rocket cabin was the worst. The distance wasn’t more than a foot or so, but it could have been Snake River Canyon as far as Jake was concerned. He leapt and landed, then quickly dropped to all fours while he did his best to transform his fingers into suction cups and the soles of his shoes into glue.

  “What’s the matter, Jake?” Savant chuckled and rocked the rocket car back and forth.

  “Knock it off,” Jake said as he stood slowly, holding onto the walls for balance.

  “Wimp.”

  Commander Mike had climbed higher still and was perched at the top of the door. The monkey held a hand above his brow and peered out into the park despite the lack of sun.

  Jake moved deeper into the gondola and found a window to look out. Futopia cast its lights up toward them. The neon lights and holograms bathed everything in pale shades as they flickered and flashed. Just north of them was the vague impression of streets lit in the soft orange of firelight.

  “What’s over there, Commander?” Jake asked.

  “President Town, TM. A place filled with great men and greater arguments. They have been fighting one another for years.”

  “Glitch and Mason were headed that way, I think,” Savant said.

  “They should be safe there,” Commander Mike said. “The Presidents don’t fight anyone except other Presidents. And they have no love for the Bearberry Bears.”

  Looking north, it was impossible to see past the lights of the Great Bearberry Tree. Jake squinted, but that didn’t help because that’s not how squinting works. Jake risked pulling one hand off the wall to point into the night. “What’s beyond the tree?”

  Commander Mike pointed a hairy finger to the left of the multicolored eyesore. “In the northwest lies Prehistoria, land of the Dinosty Warriors, TM.”

  “That’s probably where Kat and Hailey went,” Savant said. “That bridge looked all prehistoricky just before it blew up.”

  Commander Mike’s finger drifted to the right of the tree. A sad expression crossed his face and his finger sagged. “To the northeast is Enchantasia, TM.”

  “What’s up there?” Savant asked.

  Commander Mike said softly, “Darkness. Silence. It was once a place of happiness and childlike wonder. It was once filled with squeals of delight and the laughter of children as they met their storybook heroes.”

  “What happened to it?” Savant asked.

  “The Bearberry Bears,” Mike said with a certain acidity. “They laid waste to it not long ago. The magic castles were razed. The citizens were taken prisoner.”

  Savant stared at the dark space. “Why would they do that?”

  “Happiness is a powerful thing,” Commander Mike said. “It can move people. It can move nations. And everyone thinks they know what happiness is.”

  “So?” Savant asked.

  “Have you ever been happy?” Mike asked.

  “Of course,” said Jake.

  “Not really,” Savant answered.

  “Did you want to keep that happiness to yourself?”

  “No,” Jake said. “I’d like everyone to be happy.”

  “Of course you would. Whenever someone finds happiness, they want to share it. They think they have some great secret and they want everyone to have it. Happiness wants to spread.”

  “What’s this got to do with Enchantasia?”

  “Happiness can stand up against a storm. It can come back after a sickness. It can survive the worst of days. The one thing Happiness can’t stand is someone else’s idea of happiness. So…” He grew quiet and waved a hand toward the void that had been Enchantasia.

  “That’s just perfect,” Savant said with a smile.

  Jake turned away from the window. “I think you missed the weight of what Commander Mike said. He just told us that happiness was the reason for the destruction of a whole land and its people.”

  “No,” Savant said. “What the robot monkey just told us is that our extraction point is empty and cleared of any potential threats. Which is great news and gives me both relief and hope at the same time.” Savant smiled more broadly. “Hey. Is this what happiness feels like?”

  “You’re a sad person,” Commander Mike tsked.

  “You don’t know me, monkey.”

  “Sir, I took an oath to protect the innocent, defend the weak and harm no human.”

  “So?”

  “So, I think you might be the loophole.”

  “Bring it, tails.”

  “That’s enough, Savant.” Years ago, Jake had inherited Ashley’s Robot Reclamation of Green Hill from his father. He knew it would be dangerous. It had put him in some strange situations. Like fighting the NurseMade that had somehow stripped him and dressed him in a hospital gown
before he was finally able to stop it with a defibrillator. Or the time he had to fight an Acrobot on a tightrope in front of a live audience while a half dozen clowns rushed back and forth beneath him with a trampoline. Or when the runaway Androidiquen that had grown tired of modeling clothes decided to run for Mayor instead. And won. But those were all to be expected. He never figured he would have to break up a fight between his employee and a space monkey in order to travel to a Fairytale kingdom that had been overrun by evil teddy bears. “I’m sorry, Commander.”

  Thankfully, Commander Mike had more sense than his computer scientist. The Monkeynaut nodded cautiously and turned away from the encounter back to the open door. Then he snapped upright and scrambled out the door.

  “Where’s he going?” Savant asked.

  The gondola shook as the Commander ran on its roof. Jake grabbed the wall for balance and edged closer to the door. “Commander Mike?”

  “Look there,” said the monkey perched above them on the roof. “In Prehistoria.”

  Jake looked back into the darkness past the tree. A fire grew high in the air. Soon it was blazing bright enough to combat the light of the Bearberry Tree. “What is it?”

  “It’s a signal fire from the Dinosty Warriors. They use it to communicate across the lands.”

  Savant leaned out the door and spotted the fire. “What does it say?”

  “Crackle, probably. It is a fire. Maybe a few hisses and pops.”

  Savant shook the rocket ship and snapped “What does it mean, monkey?”

  Jake grabbed the rail to keep himself balanced as the car rocked back and forth.

  “They’re calling a gathering,” said Commander Mike. “We must go.”

  Savant laughed. “Are you kidding? Did you forget about the tall, dark assholes roaming the streets down there? We try to run and they’ll run us down.”

  Commander Mike looked to the ground and rubbed the hair on his chin. “Okay. Then we’ll ride.”

  18

  LBJ came first. The President’s massive frame tore through the hedgerow and he raced up the steps of the Jefferson Memorial screaming for help.

  “Cowardice,” Teddy muttered to himself. “An interesting tactic.”

  The President turned to his men positioned behind the barricade at the top of the monument’s steps. “Hold your fire, men.”

  Johnson kept stealing glances over his shoulder as he barreled up the steps, yelling, “They’re coming! They’re coming!”

  “Sounds like a commie trick to me,” Reagan said as he sighted his rifle over the barricade.

  “I don’t think so,” Roosevelt said. “He’s not running at us. He’s running for us. There’s a difference.”

  Johnson was only steps away from the hastily erected barricade when his head exploded.

  “An interesting tactic,” Roosevelt said once more as the President’s body dropped to the steps.

  “Tippecanoe and Tyler, too!” Tyler shouted as he pointed to the hedgerow.

  Jimmy Carter stood behind the smoking barrel of a rifle with a grin on his face and cute little teddy bear ears on his head.

  “Dear God,” Reagan whispered. “What have they done?”

  Taft broke through the hedge, portly and covered in pink fur. His handlebar mustache matched the pink and sat below a black button nose. Taft put a finger to his lips and giggled. His fat body twisted in a gesture of shyness revealing a pink, little Teddy Bear tail.

  “Those monsters,” cursed Roosevelt. “What horror they’ve wrought.”

  In a voice that wasn’t entirely his own, Taft screamed, “Kill them all!”

  The hedgerow churned and rustled as two dozen more Presidents burst from the leaves. Some were covered in fur, some only had the ears and tail, but it was clear that all of them had been under the influence of the Bearberry Bears.

  They came with rifles and clubs. They charged with smiles on their lips and murder in their screams. Woodrow Wilson, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Bill Clinton, Gerald Ford, Millard Fillmore and more rushed from hedges and up the steps of the Jefferson Memorial.

  “Fire!” ordered Roosevelt as he squeezed off a pair of rounds.

  Eisenhower went down as one round tore through a furry purple leg.

  Polk fell back gripping his chest.

  Reagan put several slugs in Grover Cleveland while Obama dropped Zachary Taylor with a lucky hip shot.

  Van Buren missed Andrew Johnson as the President in green fur began running in a serpentine pattern. He was at the barricade when W dropped Lincoln’s successor with a shot to the back of the head.

  Bush smiled and said, “Mission Accomplished.”

  His father tackled him a second later and the two Presidents rolled back from the barricade in a tangle of Freudian proportions.

  In less than two minutes, almost all of the Presidents had scrambled over the barricade and into the rotunda. Only FDR lagged behind as he made his way up the ramp.

  Mason shot Millard Fillmore in the face and tried to make a quip about it but quickly realized he knew absolutely nothing about Millard Fillmore or his presidency.

  Glitch put several rounds into Gerald Ford, who stumbled and fell to the ground. Ford immediately tried to get to his feet again but tripped, fell over and crashed backwards over the barricade and down the steps.

  Hoover leapt from the barricade and landed on top of Roosevelt. He pulled the roughrider to the ground and pinned him against the marble floor of the rotunda. Hoover grinned and giggled as he wrestled with Roosevelt. His green furry ears twitched.

  This laughter enraged Roosevelt. The President kicked free of the other President’s pin and he reversed the hold. Roosevelt wrapped his hands around Hoover’s throat. “How dare you put hands on me, you lousy one-termer.”

  Hoover continued to giggle as Roosevelt squeezed.

  “You dare call yourself a Republican.” With this Theodore twisted his grip and pulled Hoover’s head from his shoulders, green teddy bear ears and all.

  Roosevelt stood and surveyed the carnage. Both George Bushes were grappling on the floor. Reagan had run out of ammo and was bashing Carter in the head with the butt of his rifle, saying, “Well, Jimmy, here we are again.”

  Garfield had Obama in a headlock. Tyler was being chased around by Coolidge and Clinton. All the poor President could do was shout for help. “Tippecanoe and Tyler, too!”

  The camera drones buzzed in and out of the action, capturing it all for the show.

  Nixon charged at Roosevelt.

  Teddy raised the rifle and pulled the trigger. He swore as the hammer fell on a spent casing.

  Bearberry Nixon screamed as he threw a right cross.

  Roosevelt ducked the blow and cracked Nixon across the face with the gun stock. He then flipped the rifle in his hands and brought it down on top of Nixon’s head.

  The rifle cracked. Nixon was unfazed.

  “You’re going to need a bigger stick, Teddy.”

  Unlike the furniture in the North Room, the park benches in the rotunda were full scale and quite stable. The bench cracked but didn’t break as it knocked Nixon back across the Jefferson Memorial and deep into the barricade.

  “Thanks, Tommy,” Roosevelt said.

  “No problem, Teddy,” Jefferson swung the bench once more and smacked Carter across the rotunda, over the barricade and onto the steps outside.

  But the Presidential Bearberry Bears kept coming.

  “Get behind me,” Jefferson said as he sent JFK tumbling back.

  Roosevelt kicked President Bush the elder off President Bush the younger and helped W from the ground. “Fall back!” he yelled to the others.

  His feet bolted to the floor of the memorial, Jefferson made the most of his sphere of influence and swung his massive hand once more, forcing the Bearberried Presidents to regroup at the barricade.

  Two lines formed and all was quiet. Roosevelt, his Presidents, and Mason and Glitch stared down the Presidents with the furry ears. No one said anything. Vio
lence was sure to erupt at any moment. Someone would scream or giggle and the fight would resume. No one thought a calliope would be the next thing they heard.

  The organ tooted a bouncy tune and Roosevelt shook his head. “The nerve of that bastard.”

  A haunting voice sang. “Ole Teddy Bar’s a dead one now.”

  The voice belonged to Taft. The President climbed to the top of the barricade and continued singing. “Sence Bill Possum’s come to town. An’it no use to make excuse. Or raise a fuss an’frown.”

  Teddy screamed in defiance of the jingle, “And how well did your little Billy Possum sell, you fat son of a bitch?”

  The reply was another giggle. This one was more obnoxious than Taft’s. "Now, now, we don't approve of that kind of language here. Please try and remember this is a family place."

  “I know that giggle,” said Glitch as he raised his gun.

  Brexbin climbed up on the pile next to Taft.

  “Brexbin, you cursed creature,” Reagan shouted. “What have you done to these great men?”

  “I made them all Bearberry Bears. I’m going to make all of you Bearberry Bears.”

  “Why would you do this?” boomed Jefferson.

  Brexbin rolled his eyes with an exaggerated swing of his head. “So we can all be happy, duh. Making people happy is the most important thing there is. Isn’t it, Glitch?”

  The blue bear threw a tiny little wave to Glitch that sent shivers down Mason’s spine.

  Roosevelt studied Glitch for a moment and his head sank. “So that’s your plan, is it?”

  Brexbin only giggled.

  “I won’t let you take him, Brexbin.”

  “We’ll see about that, Teddy.” Brexbin put his paws to his mouth and gave a whistle. The Bearberry Bear Presidents gathered around him and more Bearberry Bears emerged from the hedges. Plixy, Tuffin, Smiddlefits and about a dozen others added to their numbers. Brexbin looked at his army and smiled at Roosevelt. “Get them!”

  “W, Ronnie, Van Buren,” Roosevelt shouted. “Stay behind Jefferson and hold them back. Barack and Tyler, you’re with me.”

  “What about us, Mr. President?” Glitch asked.