Much Ado About Nothing (Arden Shakespeare: Third Series)

by William Shakespeare

  69-70 hobbyhorses jokers (originally an imitation horse fastened around the waist of a morris dancer)

  77 Good den good evening

  92 aim better at me judge better of me

  92 that that which

  Don Pedro. Why, what's the matter?

  Don John. I came hither to tell you, and, circumstances short'ned (for she has been too long a-talking of), the lady is disloyal.

  Claudio. Who? Hero?

  Don John. Even she--Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero.

  Claudio. Disloyal?

  Don John. The word is too good to paint out her wick edness. I could say she were worse. Think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant. Go but with me tonight, you shall see her chamber window ent'red, even the night before her wedding day. If you love her then, tomorrow wed her. But it would better fit your honor to change your mind.

  Claudio. May this be so?

  Don Pedro. I will not think it.

  Don John. If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know. If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.

  Claudio. If I see anything tonight why I should not marry her tomorrow, in the congregation where I should wed, there will I shame her.

  Don Pedro. And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.

  Don John. I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses. Bear it coldlydeg but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.

  125 coldly calmly

  Don Pedro. O day untowardly turned!

  Claudio. O mischief strangely thwarting!

  Don John. O plague right well prevented! So will you say when you have seen the sequel. [Exeunt.]

  [Scene 3. A street.]

  Enter Dogberry and his compartner [Verges,]

  with the Watch.

  Dogberry. Are you good men and true?

  Verges. Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation,deg body and soul.

  Dogberry. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Prince's watch.

  Verges. Well, give them their charge,deg neighbor Dogberry.

  Dogberry. First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

  First Watch. Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacole, for they can write and read.

  Dogberry. Come hither, neighbor Seacole. God hath blessed you with a good name. To be a well-favoreddeg man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature.

  Second Watch. Both which, Master Constable--

  Dogberry. You have; I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favor, sir, why, give God thanks and make no boast of it; and for your writing and read ing, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch. Therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagromdeg men; you are to bid any man stand,deg in the Prince's name.

  3.3.3 salvation damnation (the beginning of the malapropisms basic to the comedy of Dogberry and Verges)

  7 charge instructions

  14 well-favored handsome

  Second Watch. How if 'a will not stand?

  Dogberry. Why then, take no note of him, but let him go, and presently call the rest of the watch together and thank God you are rid of a knave.

  Verges. If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince's subjects.

  Dogberry. True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable, and not to be endured.

  Watch.deg We will rather sleep than talk; we know what belongs to a watch.

  Dogberry. Why, you speak like an ancient and Most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend. Only, have a care that your billsdeg be not stol'n. Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

  Watch. How if they will not?

  Dogberry. Why then, let them alone till they are sober. If they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.

  Watch. Well, sir.

  25 comprehend all vagrom i.e., apprehend all vagrant

  26 stand halt, stop

  38 Watch (neither the Quarto nor the Folio differentiates again between First Watch and Second Watch until the end of this scene)

  42 bills constables' pikes

  Dogberry. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

  Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

  Dogberry. Truly, by your office you may; but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is, and steal out of your company.

  Verges. You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

  Dogberry. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.

  Verges. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.

  Watch. How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?

  Dogberry. Why then, depart in peace and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats.

  Verges. 'Tis very true.

  Dogberry. This is the end of the charge: you, constable, are to present the Prince's own person. If you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.

  Verges. Nay, by'r lady, that I think 'a cannot.

  Dogberry. Five shillings to one on't, with any man ) that knows the statutes, he may stay him! Marry, not without the Prince be willing; for indeed the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offense to stay a man against his will.

  Verges. By'r lady, I think it be so.

  Dogberry. Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night. And there be any matter of weight chances, call up me. Keep your fellows' counsels and your own, and good night. Come, neighbor.

  Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge. Let us go sit here upon the church bench till two, and then all to bed.

  Dogberry. One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you watch about Signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coildeg tonight. Adieu. Be vigitant, I beseech you.

  Exeunt [Dogberry and Verges].

  Enter Borachio and Conrade.

  Borachio. What, Conrade!

  Watch. [Aside] Peace! Stir not!

  Borachio. Conrade, I say!

  Conrade. Here, man. I am at thy elbow.

  Borachio. Mass,deg and my elbow itched; I thought there would a scabdeg follow.

  Conrade. I will owe thee an answer for that; and now forward with thy tale.

  Borachio. Stand thee close then under this penthouse,deg for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard,deg utter all to thee.

  Watch. [Aside] Some treason, masters; yet stand close.

  Borachio. Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.

  Conrade. Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?

  94 coil to-do, turmoil

  100 Mass (an interjection, from "by the Mass")

  101 scab (I) crust over a wound (2) contemptible person

  104 penthouse shed, lean-to

  105 drunkard (his name is based on the Spanish borracho, "drunkard")

  Borachio. Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.

  Conrade. I wonder at it.

  Borachio. That shows thou art unconfirmed.deg Thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.deg


  Conrade. Yes, it is apparel.

  Borachio. I mean the fashion.

  Conrade. Yes, the fashion is the fashion.

  Borachio. Tush! I may as well say the fool's the fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fash ion is?

  Watch. [Aside] I know that Deformed; 'a has been a vile thief this seven year; 'a goes up and down like a gentleman. I remember his name.

  Borachio. Didst thou not hear somebody?

  Conrade. No; 'twas the vane on the house.

  Borachio. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? How giddily 'a turns about all the hotbloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty? Sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechydeg painting, sometime like god Bel's priestsdeg in the old church window, sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiecedeg seems as massy as his club?

  Conrade. All this I see; and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?

  117 unconfirmed innocent

  119 is nothing to a man i.e., fails to reveal his actual character

  135 reechy grimy, filthy

  135--36 god Bel's priests (from the Apocrypha)

  138 codpiece (decorative pouch at the fly of a sixteenth-century man's breeches)

  Borachio. Not so neither. But know that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero. She leans me out at her mistress' chamber window, bids me a thousand times good night. I tell this tale vilely--I should first tell thee how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and placed and possesseddeg by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.

  Conrade. And thought they Margaret was Hero?

  Borachio. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw o'ernight and send her home again without a husband.

  First Watch. We charge you in the Prince's name stand!

  Second Watch. Call up the right Master Constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.

  First Watch. And one Deformed is one of them; I know him; 'a wears a lock.deg

  Conrade. Masters, masters--

  Second Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.

  151 possessed informed, deluded

  172 lock lovelock, curl of hair hanging by the car

  Conrade. Masters, never speak; we charge you let us obey you to go with us.deg

  Borachio. We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these men's bills.deg

  Conrade. A commodity in question,deg I warrant you. Come, we'll obey you. Exeunt.

  [Scene 4. Leonato's house.]

  Enter Hero, and Margaret, and Ursula.

  Hero. Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice and desire her to rise.

  Ursula. I will, lady.

  Hero. And bid her come hither.

  Ursula. Well. [Exit.]

  Margaret. Troth, I think your other rabatodeg were better.

  Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.

  Margaret. By my troth, 's not so good, and I warrant your cousin will say so.

  Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another. I'll wear none but this.

  Margaret. I like the new tiredeg withindeg excellently, if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown's a most rare fashion, i' faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan's gown that they praise so.

  176--77 Masters ... with us (Conrade is mocking the language of the Second Watch; he means, "Say no more, we will go along with you") 1

  78--79 We are ... bills (Borachio continues the mockery with a series of puns: commodity [1] merchandise [2] profit; taken up [1] arrested [2] bought on credit ; bills [1] pikes [2] bonds or sureties)

  180 in question (1) subject to judicial examination (2) of doubtful value

  3.4.6 rabato ruff

  13 tire headdress

  13 within in the next room

  Hero. O, that exceeds, they say.

  Margaret. By my troth, 's but a nightgowndeg in respect of yours--cloth o' gold and cuts,deg and laced with silver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side-sleeves,deg and skirts, round underborne with a bluish tinsel. But for a fine, quaint,deg graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't.

  Hero. God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding heavy.

  Margaret. 'Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

  Hero. Fie upon thee! Art not ashamed?

  Margaret. Of what, lady? Of speaking honorably? Is not marriage honorable in a beggar? Is not your lord honorable without marriage? I think you would have me say, "saving your reverence, a husband." And bad thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend nobody. Is there any harm in "the heavier for a husband"? None, I think, and it be the right husband and the right wife; otherwise 'tis light,deg and not heavy. Ask my Lady Beatrice else. Here she comes.

  Enter Beatrice.

  Hero. Good morrow, coz.

  Beatrice. Good morrow, sweet Hero.

  Hero. Why, how now? Do you speak in the sick tune?

  Beatrice. I am out of all other tune, methinks.

  18 nightgown dressing gown

  19 cuts slashes to show rich fabric underneath

  20 down sleeves, side-sleeves long sleeves covering the arms, open sleeves hanging from the shoulder

  22 quaint pretty, dainty

  36 light (pun on "wanton")

  Margaret. Clap's intodeg "Light o' love." That goes without a burden.deg Do you sing it, and I'll dance it.

  Beatrice. Ye light o' love with your heels!deg Then, if your husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall lack no barns. deg

  Margaret. O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.

  Beatrice. 'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; 'tis time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill. Heigh-ho!

  Margaret. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

  Beatrice. For the letter that begins them all, H. deg

  Margaret. Well, and you be not turned Turk,deg there's no more sailing by the star.

  Beatrice. What means the fool, trow?deg

  Margaret. Nothing I; but God send everyone their heart's desire!

  Hero. These gloves the Count sent me, they are an excellent perfume.

  Beatrice. I am stuffed,deg cousin; I cannot smell.

  Margaret. A maid, and stuffed!deg There's goodly catching of cold.

  6.5 Beatrice. O, God help me! God help me! How long have you professed apprehension?deg

  Margaret. Ever since you left it. Doth not my wit become me rarely?

  Beatrice. It is not seen enough. You should wear it in your cap. By my troth, I am sick.

  Margaret. Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictusdeg and lay it to your heart. It is the only thing for a qualm.deg

  43 Clap's into let us sing

  44 burden bass part (with pun on "the heavier for a husband")

  45 Ye ... your heels (sexual innuendo)

  47 barns (pun on "baims," children)

  54 H ("ache" was pronounced "aitch")

  55 turned Turk completely changed

  57 trow I wonder

  62 I am stuffed I have a head cold

  63 stuffed filled (as with a child)

  66 apprehension wit

  Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thistle.

  Beatrice. Benedictus? Why Benedictus? You have some moraldeg in this Benedictus.

  Margaret. Moral? No, by my troth, I have no moral meaning. I meant plain holy thistle. You may think perchance th
at I think you are in love. Nay, by'r lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list;deg nor I list not to think what I can; nor indeed I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man. He swore he would never marry; and yet now in despite of his heart he eats his meat without grudging.deg And how you may be converted I know not; but methinks you look with your eyes as other women do.

  Beatrice. What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?

  Margaret. Not a false gallop.

  Enter Ursula.

  Ursula. Madam, withdraw. The Prince, the Count, Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the town are come to fetch you to church.

  Hero. Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula. [Exeunt.]

  [Scene 5. Another room in Leonato's house.]

  Enter Leonato and the Constable [Dogberry], and

  the Headborough [Verges].

  71--72 Carduus Benedictus blessed thistle, a medicinal herb

  73 qualm sensation of sickness

  76 moral special meaning

  80 list please

  87 he eats his meat without grudging he finds that he can still eat

  Leonato. What would you with me, honest neighbor?

  Dogberry. Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you that decerns you nearly.

  Leonato. Brief, I pray you, for you see it is a busy . time with me.

  Dogberry. Marry, this it is, sir.

  Verges. Yes, in truth it is, sir.

  Leonato. What is it, my good friends?

  Dogberry. Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter--an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

  Verges. Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.

  15 Dogberry. Comparisons are odorous; Palabras,deg neighbor Verges.

  Leonato. Neighbors, you are tedious.

  Dogberry. It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke's officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.

  Leonato. All thy tediousness on me, ah?

  Dogberry. Yea, and 'twere a thousand pound more than 'tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.