Alone in Austin

by Patricia Pacjac Carroll

  David led the big horse to him. “He’s a tall one, all right. Do you have a name picked out for him?”

  “Not yet. I’ll see how he handles.” Nick took the reins and mounted. The horse was alert but calm. Whoever had trained him had done a good job as thoroughbreds were hotblooded and could be a problem.

  “Let’s go, big boy.” Nick eased the horse out of the livery and rode him down the road. Where to, he wasn’t sure. Then on a wild thought, he rode toward Jacklin’s ranch. There was no time like the present to show her the horse.

  Nick was maybe halfway when he saw Jacklin riding her bid dun gelding toward town. Usually, she drove the wagon or had other people with her. Most of the time, she’d take the wives of some of the ranch hands into town to give them a break from the monotony of ranch life.

  “Jacklin, I’m surprised to meet you out here on the road.”

  She halted her gelding. The animal pranced under her hold, anxious to keep going. That was Jacklin. She never liked to stop and settle down. “Where did you get that horse?”

  “Bought him from David at the livery. He’s a looker, isn’t he?”

  “I should say so. Where did David get him?”

  Nick told her the name on the bill, but she’d never heard of it. He dismounted and walked over to her. “I think he looks like King Rock.”

  She dismounted and walked to the horse. “He does.” By the frown on her face, Nick could see she was bothered.

  “He’s three, almost four.” Nick studied her. If she did smile just a little, she’d be a pretty woman.

  She stared at him. “All right. I get the point. You think someone got to King Rock and bred a mare that I don’t know about.”

  “Looks that way. Even down to the half sock on his back left leg.”

  She put a hand to the horse’s head and moved the forelock. “And the star. But then a lot of horses have them.”

  “Not a lot of horses in Texas are almost seventeen hands.” Nick wanted to reach out to her and let her know how he’d felt about her all these years. Yet, to do so would end any chances he had with her.

  With a stubborn look, she faced him. “Are you saying I should go to the sheriff?”

  “No. You can’t prove damages. Just watch the meadow where you keep the stallion.” Nick started to say more but stopped.

  “Look, I know you don’t get along with Harlen. I, on the other hand, trust my foreman. So, if you mean to suggest that Harlen is at fault, I don’t want to hear it. Unless you have proof otherwise, I’d say this conversation is over.”

  “Fine. Is it all right if I ride into town with you?”

  She looked at him, mounted her horse, and nodded. “It’s a free country.”

  Nick let her barbed answer pass. If he was ever going to get anywhere with her, he’d have to stop accusing Harlen. For some reason, Jacklin’s foreman always came between them. With effort, Nick shoved aside his misgivings about the man, and instead looked around the land. “Looks like it will be a good year. The spring rains have been plentiful, and the grass is green and long.”

  Jacklin nodded. “Yes. The cattle are fattening up nicely before they’re shipped. We just have to dip them and drive them to the railyard.”

  “Shouldn’t they have already been dipped?” He knew the bill for the dip had already been paid a month ago.

  “I’ve already been on Harlen about it. He’ll get it done. He always does.”

  “Not always.”

  Jacklin darted a defensive glare at him. “Anyone can make a mistake. Besides, it was caught before we crossed state lines.”

  “True it was. Held up the train and the herd for a week, though.” Nick knew Harlen had caused the delay. Oh, he’d had the excuse, but if Nick remembered correctly, the bill for the dip had been paid months in advance. Nick would watch the deposits and bills closer and see if he could point to Harlen and any discrepancies.

  Jacklin pulled up abruptly and pointed. “Antelope. It’s been some time since I’ve seen any out this way. I thought the herds had driven them away.”

  “Remember when we used to see buffalo, too? We were just kids then. It seems like a long time ago in one respect and yesterday in another.”

  She laughed. Something that Jacklin rarely did. “I agree. One minute we were children chasing everyone around, the next we were adults taking over our father’s businesses.” Her smile faded. “Sometimes, I miss those carefree days.”

  “I do, too.” Nick looked at her and briefly saw the old Jacklin before she became the ranch boss. “We could ride to the bluff.” He looked at her, hopeful that she’d remember the good days.

  She smiled and almost agreed, and then her eyes were on his horse, and she shook her head. “I have things I need to do. That and I have to get back to the ranch today. As it is, I barely have time.”

  Nick shrugged. “If you want, let me know when you’re ready to go back, and I’ll ride with you. It’s not safe to ride alone.”

  “You were riding alone.” She leveled a mischievous gaze at him. “Besides, I ride alone most of the time. I can handle myself.” The playfulness was gone from her eyes and face.

  He nodded. “All right. Have it your way.” Nick let his horse speed up a little. For some reason, he had the intense desire to beat her in a horse race. To show her that he was as good as she was. To show her that his horse had the blood of a king in his veins. King Rock, to be exact. And that she had a problem on her ranch.

  But he held the horse to a trot and kept up with Jacklin. He decided he’d let her make the next comment and was prepared to ride in silence all the way back to Austin if he had to.

  Silence blanketed the air between them for the next mile. Nick let the horse pick his way and was pleased with the animal’s gait. He was sure-footed and a confident steed. That counted if you needed a time when you had to depend on him. Nor was he flighty the way some thoroughbreds could be.

  Jacklin rode like she always did as the boss. Head high and confident, the woman dared anyone to come at her. She was ready, and anyone who did challenge her soon found out just how competent she was.

  He’d never known her to back down. Not once. Nick admired her for that. Yet, at times, he felt sorry for her. She had to want more out of life. No one was made to be an impenetrable mountain. Now that he was thirty, life was like a locomotive propelling him forward. There was still time for a family, but not much.

  It wasn’t uncommon for older men to take younger women and enjoy children in their later years and be happy to know that all they worked for would go toward their heirs. But what did Jacklin have but her hardness? And why did he care? Nick should leave her and look for the woman of his dreams. But for some crazy reason, he’d always thought they’d wind up together.

  “You did mail my letter?” Her words came out of the quiet prairie, almost startling him.

  “Yes.” He glanced at her. She looked straight ahead and didn’t even look his way. Still, she had broken the silence.

  “I have to mail another letter. I’m going to ask Marianne and her family to come and visit.”

  Now, that was a shock. He’d never known Jacklin and her sister to be close. “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen her, hasn’t it?”

  This time, she did look at him. “Too long. I’ve got some fences to mend with her. The ranch, it is her heritage too.”

  “Think she’ll come?”

  “I don’t know. We had some words between us at daddy’s funeral.” She looked away, straight ahead, the way she always did when she didn’t want to think or admit something. Seems she did that whenever he talked about Harlen, too.

  Nick rode close to her. “It’s worth the try. Family needs to be together. I wish me and my brother could see one another again. But that’s not possible.” Remembering how his older brother died a broken man because of wounds suffered in the war made Nick sad. He had no other family.

  There might be some cousins scattered in the north. But the war between the states ha
d broken all the connections. Father had moved to Texas, married a Spanish girl, and that was it. Nick’s mother had died of a fever when he was fifteen. He still missed her.

  His distant family in the north wanted nothing to do with him any more than his mother’s family wanted anything to do with him in the south. So, he was alone after his father’s death.

  Nick glanced at Jacklin as she rode proudly on. Not feeling or caring. Yet, he couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a chink in her armor. That she wasn’t thinking of family. Why else would she write to her sister?

  Chapter 5

  Jacklin had decided to send a wire instead of mail the letter to Marianne. Something about that ride with Nick and the harsh silence between them had made her want to talk to her sister again. Perhaps, they could become close and, if not close, at least closer. Besides, she needed her sister.

  It had been two weeks since mailing her letter to the advice column, Jacklin hoped she’d get an answer soon. Every Friday, when she got the St. Louis newspaper, she would hurriedly look to see if the response to her letter to Yours Truly: The Lovelorn had been printed. So far, nothing.

  Linda brought her the mail. It was the woman’s job to go through it and parcel out letters to the hands and then bring Jacklin hers. Today, Linda came quicker than usual and handed her a handful of envelopes and the newspaper.

  “I see a letter from your sister. That is good, isn’t it?” The older woman smiled.

  Taking the pile from her, Jacklin nodded. “Yes, thank you, Linda.” A letter was good, but Jacklin would have preferred a telegram.

  “I do hope she comes. She was a delightful child.” Linda had been with the family before Jacklin and her sister were even born. At times, she was almost a grandmother figure. Yet, Linda knew her place and didn’t bother Jacklin with advice.

  “I hope she comes, too. Thank you, Linda.” Jacklin went into her office. She didn’t have to close the door because everyone knew not to bother her when she was working.

  She tore open the letter. Marianne was delighted to hear from her and agreed to come and should be in Austin by the beginning of next week. Jacklin was both glad and apprehensive because the one person she couldn’t best was her sister, Marianne.

  Marianne knew how to be a lady. How to look beautiful and talk to men so that they listened to her and wanted to please her. Oh, men might jump when Jacklin cracked her whip, but never did they look like they wanted to be with her.

  The next bit of excitement was in the newspaper. She opened it to the Yours Truly: The Lovelorn column and saw the headline. Alone in Austin.

  Dear Alone in Austin,

  You have got a problem. Men don’t want to be branded by a strong woman. They need to see that you’re soft and frilly at heart and that you need a man to take care of you. I admit you’d be a tough one for a man to want to walk down the aisle with. You didn’t say but are you pretty in any way?

  Here’s my advice. Try throwing away your whip and taking off your chaps and wear a womanly dress. Don’t yell and try speaking in a quiet voice with words that would make a man feel like he was king. And of course, we all know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Forget about driving the beef and work on cooking it.

  Yours Truly: The Lovelorn.

  Jacklin took in a deep breath. “So, stop being me.” After she said the words, she realized the truth of them. After all these years, how would she become someone else? And would it work?

  There was only one man she really admired, Harlen. But lately, there seemed to be something between them. Not that it came from her side, but he was hesitant around her. She’d catch him watching her, and not in a flattering way.

  Well, at least Marianne would be here and could help her look like a woman. Jacklin thought back to the last meeting, make that argument that they’d had. Right after daddy’s funeral.

  Marianne had run off and married Jerry. Daddy hadn’t been pleased, but he’d relented and given her the money for her inheritance. Jacklin was angry that they’d be short on cash because Father had given into her sister’s demands.

  Then after the funeral, Jacklin discovered that some of the ranch still belonged to Marianne. Father had left her the small meadow by the lake that had been mother’s favorite. In the will, he told Marianne and husband and future children that they’d always be welcome in the big house and to come and enjoy their property.

  Angry, Jacklin had told Marianne if she stepped foot on the ranch, she’d blow it off. Marianne had left crying in the arms of her husband.

  Jerry wasn’t a bad sort and made a comfortable living in St. Louis. He dealt in selling buildings and had made his own fortune.

  Rereading the letter, Jacklin was relieved that Jerry wouldn’t be coming. He was tied up with business, but Marianne was bringing her two children. A boy named Jackson after Father. And a girl named Alison. They were six and four.

  Jacklin swallowed hard. What would they think of her? What had they been told about her? She could only guess that they’d had their heads filled by Marianne telling them she was a hard boss lady that ruled with a bullwhip and a pistol. Unfortunately, that was the truth.

  Jacklin kept her hair pulled back hard and wrapped in a tight bun to keep it from falling onto her shoulders. To hide that she was a woman. Wasn’t that the real reason? No wonder no man had ever looked at her with admiration.

  Fear was what she saw in their eyes. And in some, another quality that made her almost sick. A dislike and distaste. She’d seen in it Harlen’s eyes once or twice. Not often, but at times, just when she thought they might get close, he’d look at her as if she were something hideous.

  Well, she’d gotten her advice and intended to put it to use. Marianne could help her look like a woman. Jacklin almost laughed as she wondered how she could run the ranch in a skirt and blouse with a parasol rather than a big hat and bullwhip.

  But if she was ever going to have a family of her own, it was what she had to do. And thinking of Jackson and Alison, her desire for children was growing. How had she let herself go for so long?

  Father had told her one time that he wished she’d dress up like her mother more. But that had only been one time. The rest of the time, he would slap her on her back as if she were one of the boys.

  Sometimes, she believed he saw her as a son and not his daughter. Then there was the truth that he did have Marianne as the perfect daughter.

  Now, Jacklin regretted it. Was it possible to run the ranch as a woman? After all, she wasn’t a man. She pulled the pins out of her hair. It was time she became the woman that she’d been born to be.

  She ran her fingers through her hair and liked how it was soft. Jacklin stood and thought about going to the hall to look in the mirror when a knock on the wall to her study startled her.

  Harlen leaned against the door jamb. “Your hair is pretty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear it down before.” He entered the room and went to her and ran his fingers through a lock of her hair. “Soft and pretty.”

  Jacklin pulled back. She felt vulnerable and less than Harlen, and she didn’t like it.

  “I came because I wanted to let you know they’re dipping the cattle today.” He grinned at her. “Keep your hair down. I like it.”

  She glared at him. “You were to have the cattle dipped and ready to go to town three days ago.”

  Harlen shook his head. “No, you said by today. They’ll be done tonight and loaded on the train tomorrow. Just like you wanted.”

  She was sure she’d ordered it done days ago, but then perhaps she had said tonight. Jacklin felt flustered that Harlen had caught her with her hair down. That she’d let him touch her.

  Then again, she felt herself wanting him to see her as a woman. She knew that there was a social in town tomorrow. She’d never gone to one before. There was no point to stand alone as the boss of Paint Rock Ranch and watch the men grab the pretty women and dance with them.

  No, she’d not mention it.


  Harlen stepped closer to her and took her by the arms. “With your hair down, I wouldn’t mind taking you to the dance tomorrow. If you want to go?” He released her and stepped back as if he realized he’d crossed a boundary.

  Jacklin knew she should scold him, but she could still feel the warmth of his hands on her arms, and she’d liked it along with the promise that Harlen saw her as more than a boss. Promising her that he was seeing her as a woman. Before she could turn away, she heard herself answer, “Yes.”

  “Good. I’ll pick you up in the buggy. We should leave at four to get to town in time.” He traced a lock of her hair down her back and left her.

  Jacklin stood where he’d left her. She put a hand to her hair where he’d held it and rubbed her arm. Why had she let her hair down? Why had she just stood there?

  She raised her head, trying to recoup her place as boss of Paint Rock Ranch, at least in her own mind. The dance tomorrow. What had she done? She had nothing to wear. And she hated the weakness she’d felt when Harlen had been so near her. Looking at the pins on her desk, she hurriedly put her hair back in the confining bun.

  Jacklin wasn’t going to appear weak again. She didn’t like it and didn’t want Harlen to get the wrong idea. Why had she said yes to him? She didn’t know how to act like a woman, much less dress like one.

  Disturbed at the events, she called for Linda.

  The older woman came to her. “What is it, Dear?”

  “I need a dress to wear to the social tomorrow. You don’t have anything I could wear, do you?”

  Linda put her hands to her face. “I am so happy for you. I may have something. Let me look. Or I could go into town.”

  “No, I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”

  “No, trouble, Dear One. You know, your mother and I were close friends. She would be so pleased.”

  Jacklin looked at her. “Do you think so?”

  “Oh, yes. She loved you. Even if she didn’t get to hold you, I know she loved you.”

  “Thank you, Linda.” Jacklin’s voice quavered just the slightest but enough for her to stop talking and compose herself. After a moment, Jacklin took in a breath and continued. “I have to check the cattle, and then I’ll come back to see about the dress.”